I feel like I haven't updated in a while, but maybe I'm lying.
Once again I want to thank Satannpink for reviewing. :)
I've uploaded four fifths of my story, so I've got to start writing more, meaning I'll be updating less.
Still, at least once a week, ja?
As soon as they left the hospital wing, Malfoy's arm returned to his side.
Neither spoke as they headed towards the Head's room.
It was late now, it was nearly time for dinner, but neither was in the mood to approach the rest of the school just yet, nor did they think either would be able to eat.
As they turned down a particularly dark hallway, Hermione spoke for the first time since trying to defend herself- "Malfoy…"she cleared her throat, "Malfoy could you please-"
But before she was given a chance to destroy her pride, Malfoy took out his wand- "Lumos," and she said nothing as his arm reached over her shoulders again. They traveled down the hallway together, both alert for any whispers of shadows.
"Hermione?"
Hermione froze, but whether it was for the fact that she recognized the voice or not- Draco couldn't tell.
Still keeping his arm firmly around her shoulders- no way was he about to let something happen while he had control- Harry walked towards them from the shadows.
Seeing the arm around her shoulders, Harry did not speak for a moment, and Hermione, incredibly awkward in this situation- said nothing.
Draco's arm tightened and his face twisted into a familiar snarl- when Harry spoke, still glancing between the two.
"Hermione… About Ginny… Hermione did you…?"
Fool. They wouldn't have let her walk away.
Hermione's eyes shot up, full of doubt, fear, and-pride? - and she spoke in an even voice. "Harry… should you believe such a ridiculous idea… did you ever know me? I…"
Hermione shook her head and stared him down, more adamant than ever, trying to put ferocity into the tears in her eyes. "If you believe such a rumor then go ahead. If you're that weak then just forget it, forget it Harry!"
"Hermione stop-!" Harry stepped closer to her. "Hermione I don't… I didn't think you had…" As Hermione gave him a moment of silent consideration, he looked beside him and ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I just wanted to know what was going on- and I guess I asked pretty tactlessly, huh?" When Hermione did not respond, Harry continued in a heavy tone. "I miss you Hermione. I know I'm too proud to ever tell you that, or that I love you… and I know you get the brunt of everything, that your best friends refuse to treat you right… And I'm sorry… I'm sorry about the last time, I know I fucked up. Plain and simple, I just… miss you. And I'm tired of all this drama and I hope you are too."
Creasing his eyebrows and biting his lip, Harry gave her one long stare. "If you ever need me-"
Hermione's response did not consist of words, and in the corniest way possible, she knew they would not be enough. In a bout of relief, Hermione gave into an urge of weakness, throwing herself into Harry's immediately welcoming arms.
Draco watched in cold-hearted amusement as Ron walked upon the scene. Hermione lifted her head from Harry's arms.
Ron glanced between Harry and Hermione- Draco seemed to disappear.
Hermione lifted herself off Harry ever so slightly and sent a soft expression to Ron, who-without a word- captured her in his arms. As Harry joined the embrace, he delivered a kiss to the top of Hermione's head, where Malfoy had displaced his affection only a minute ago.
"Mister Potter, Mister Weasley, and Miss Granger- I do believe this is enough affection to last you the next week, hmm?"
The cold snarl drew the Gryffindors' attention, and the two boys let go of Hermione, though neither did so completely. Ron still curled his fingers around her wrist- Harry placed his hand on the small of her back.
The actions of the Golden Trio curled the two Slytherins' lips into expressions that could never mask such disgust.
Harry was the first to respond to Snape's snarl. He turned to Hermione and gently took both of her wrists, speaking urgently and quietly as Ron sent a smirk to Draco- before he, too, engaged himself in the conversation and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, concealing their actions.
"Hermione, listen to me closely- I don't know what's going on between you and Malfoy- but you cannot trust him, you hear me? You cannot believe anyone but yourself, not even the professors." Harry reached under his robes and, making sure to hide it from Snape and Malfoy, pulled a pendant from his neck.
The chain fell heavy on her, but immediately afterwards the weight disappeared, and Hermione reached up to it but Harry moved her hands away, tucking the pendant into her shirt. Looking deeper into her eyes, Harry spoke even softer.
"Ginny gave this to me, before… and I think you need it more than I do. Just touch your wand to it and chant templum… you will be transported to me, okay?"
Hermione nodded, though she was unsure of what she was agreeing too. Harry accepted the fact that she didn't understand with a contorted expression. Bringing his lips to her forehead, his final affection caused Hermione to relax; as if this one action sealed her trust; she would not doubt his apprehensions, now hers.
He slipped the map into her robe.
And as Ron held her gently, briefly, as the two boys walked towards Snape for a reason she could not place, it did not break the flow of the moment as Harry turned back to her momentarily.
"When you have a question, you know where to find the answer."
Harry turned, and the three walked away, leaving Draco to confront Hermione.
Hermione did not look at him- Harry's words were ringing in her head.
They did not continue their pace, now at an impass.
Draco's glare intensified with the lack of Hermione's, and he scoffed at the denial of his presence. "So now you've got trust in the one person that satisfies your paranoia and says not to trust anyone?"
Hermione's eyes shot up and he was surprised that she honestly believed he hadn't heard. "Potter's tactless. You just fell for all their bullshit- Weasel didn't even apologize to you! After all the shit you've been telling me about them you're just going to accept them?!"
Hermione's eyes burned into Draco's with ferocity, prepared to defend herself against the one person who knew to accuse her. "And have you ever heard of forgiving?"
"And what of it? Certainly what you just did does not constitute forgiveness! There was no reason to it, Granger, and you know it was completely weak of you to submit to heart's desire!"
Only slightly taken aback, Hermione's expression lost some of its intensity. "If I am thinking with my heart then nothing is weak!"
"You fool! Do you not realize what emotions will drag you down through? Why should it be that with Potter, with Weasel, with all the shit they pulled- you think with your heart? Why should it be that everything you actually want- you fall ignorantly into- with no logic! Why should it be that with me, your sworn enemy, you must think with your head and not your heart? Why must you ignore reason for them, they do not deserve it!"
The atmosphere was stale, and both counterparts hoped for a breeze, something to sway what had been said, what will be asked. Something to contradict the corollary.
"And do you?"
Draco's eyes closed at her question, knowing his answer would speak to her. "How would you know? You do not want me, and that is the only thing that would make me worthy of your… forgiveness."
Turning from her, Draco headed to his destination alone, not daring to look upon what he might have created.
It was a fitting ending, bitter and angsty.
But she refused to reform to flow, to what should be. She was sick of what she thought she should do, and falling into place would mean letting go of what could be.
Those three little words are overrated, but as Hermione spoke them she was assaulted with how powerful they were, how significant they were.
And it was all because they did not fit with what should happen, what happened every other time they went through this.
"Do not leave."
Draco's steps actually faltered, and she appreciated the fact that her statement was, indeed, blunt and unexpected.
"If you do then it will be like every other soliloquy you have offered me. Stop pretending I will not respond, stop pretending that you are more than me…. If you just leave, like every other time, in a few days I will go mad and when we are forced to confront each other this same kind of conflict will ensue."
Draco stood with his back to her, and in the distance he had already crossed there were shadows blocking them from one another. "What do you want?"
Trying not to absorb the full impact of his words, Hermione tried to assess the answer.
"I do not want to do this again. I do not want to conflict our intelligence and toss our dispositions carelessly on opposite sides of the fence. I want to just speak without trying to put impact behind our words. I want… I want to know that you feel the same as I do, that you understand how careless it is to think alone. If you do not feel this way… if you wish to remain stoic… then I apologize and hope you can forgive me, even though it won't matter."
Draco's silence was tense, and as he contemplated his response, his eyes rose to the ceiling. "And what if it did matter? What of it then?"
"What of… what of my forgiveness?...I suppose the answer is to you, because should I forgive you then it would matter to me. Should it matter to you… or if it does not… that is for you to know and for me to find out."
Draco turned to her. And in the most clichéd way possible, the stale hallway seemed lighter. His hair seemed to glow when complimenting his face, and his eyes seemed to actually be pleased with what they were studying.
And all this was because he was smiling at her. "I like your attitude, Muddy. I hope that after all the shit we're going to put each other through; you will not falter in your decision."
Hermione did not have a response. "My decision…?"
"Being that you have chosen to allow me a bit of your compassion, that."
And as his meaning fell into her, Hermione felt a smile threaten to take over her confusion.
And with the comfort that she was to bestow her emotions unto this new companion, she did not hold back as her animosity gave a short surrender.
She rather thought it would be a welcome defeat.
-
She rolled over, pulling the stiff white blanket over her head.
She shut her eyes tighter, tighter, until she was sure they wouldn't open again.
Her memory did not suit her.
He reached out his hand and, with her smile too unreasonable to be explained, she took it upon impulse.
She looked into his eyes and they seemed so warm… but his hand was cold.
She became aware of this fact when she looked down at her hand and saw her skin, a morbid shade of blue.
Hermione was shocked, but she was not the one to react.
Malfoy's hand reverted to his side and he did not look at her.
She looked up to him, breathless, but he was already walking before them, heading to the doors of the Great Hall.
He opened the door and stood, as a gentleman, waiting for her to pass through, all the while holding out his hand to her.
Glancing to her hand, Hermione cried out- it was passing through her wrist, her arm, with almost a gaseous quality, blackened color swirling towards her elbow-
She was on her knees and he was shaking her, but she couldn't help but notice, through her delirium, that he did not touch her.
She was almost surprised that her hand's strike against his cheek did not leave a black handprint.
"I am not dirty," she hissed, "and you can't make me think I am, you cannot destroy me."
But he didn't hear her, or else his rising anger would be replaced with confusion.
No, he was shouting, shaking, grabbing her wrists and demanding she keep her eyes open.
It took her a moment to realize her eyes were open, despite her attempts.
Usually the boy next to her would be Harry or Ron, but neither had shown up at the Hospital Wing that night.
No, he was blonde. It was Malfoy.
And as she watched him adjust into his chair, she was sure he was awake, but not voluntarily so.
Well he can keep his eyes closed just fine.
Hermione relaxed the crease in her forehead, knowing anger would not help her keep still enough to keep her consciousness unknown.
When he sighed, Hermione closed her eyes, fast, and she heard the door open, followed by quick and direct footsteps.
She could've sworn she heard the swish of a Malfoy cape, but suddenly she heard Harry's voice.
"What did you do to her? You were with her all day so don't think about lying, Malfoy. You were too buddy buddy… I'll have you ready to tell the truth as soon as Dumbledore arrives."
"Fuck off Potter, she would never fuck you."
There was a smack of glass on the ground and suddenly Hermione could hear herself crying, sobbing, crying to them.
"It won't be hard, either. Rape isn't out of the question but- don't you suppose it would be more detrimental to her precious dignity for her to make the decision herself? Should be a tight piece of-"
"Miss Granger you must keep your eyes open!"
They are, they are.