…rare cases of pervasus Capitis are in success, however, and for those who dare its attempt…
Dumbledore was talking, but Draco knew what he was going to say to them.
…failure is most often accompanied by death…
"…Mister Potter, I do not understand what notion allowed you to think that giving a fellow student an unauthorized Portkey to Mister Weasley's residence was a prudent idea…"
…if the invader loses his sense, his grip on reality and himself, his identity and purpose, then it is possible to disintegrate within the victims subconscious, often causing illness to the victim, or leaving certain memories, having belonged to the invader, inhibited within the mind…
"…I am deathly apologetic that I allowed this circumstance to occur; it was my vulnerable trust that was permissible access for Voldemort to infiltrate..."
…often if the invader tries to remove himself, the victim is killed, leaving the invader with a similar outcome…
"…I am unsure of how to accept this great news, though I know we owe Mister Malfoy our greatest thanks, for daring to destroy this power, even if it put his fellow student at danger, although she was already, as was the rest of the school, and ultimately, the world…"
…if the invader reaches a state of panic or excitement, he could kill himself or his victim, and in even less likely circumstances…
"…but the dark magic our Head Boy-" Hermione stiffened, flinched, "-used to save his Head Girl had one side effect. For although his intent was purely benevolent, his abrupt leave from her subconscious had led to…"
…the invader can accidentally erase memories held dear by the host. Although, surely, if malicious intent was the purpose, this could be advantageous…
"…accidental selective memory wiping of Miss Granger, who, upon inspection, seems only to have lost sentimental notions of recent days. It is impossible to determine, through observation, what the loss is…"
She doesn't remember me. I was there, she was thinking about me, and when Potter strangled her I took the memories with me. It's his entire fault…
"…and although I'm sure both men will attempt to wait for Miss Granger, I must plead for her sake that you, Mister Potter, head to bed and let her counterpart escort her to her room and a full night's rest…"
-
Although it had been Draco that had suffered the shock, Potter was openly shocked that his enemy, the man he saw invade her head, had accomplished something that only Harry was famous for.
Closing his mouth as Draco sneered, pointing to the direction of the Gryffindor commons; Harry held his hand out to Draco.
"Thank you. I am assured of where your true colors lie. I'm glad she helped you come to your senses."
Draco's arm fell, repelled by Harry's. "She didn't help me. I've been aware of my principles for a long time, Potter. I would have never done so for you so don't thank me. Please."
Harry's arm fell, surprised that he was surprised by Malfoy's behavior. But recognizing the pretense he was to play, he allowed a sneer to distinguish his feigned disgust. "If we're interviewed for this, your story better match up with mine."
"Attention whore."
But Harry walked away.
And only when Malfoy had breathed a sigh of relief at Potter's departure, that he would not have to be real with him, that he could pretend to be an enemy and make the night go along quickly-did Harry stop and speak without looking back to Malfoy.
In hardly a whisper, Harry advised Malfoy for the first time. "I don't know what she's lost, I don't know who you've been to her, but I know you're going to try and get her back. Even if she doesn't remember you. Maybe… but maybe this has happened for the best. I don't know what you meant to each other but this is your second chance. Realistically, you could never make her happy. It can't work out, not even as friends. You'll just make things harder for her if you try to mean something. Take advantage of her blank slate. She's better off hating you. You're better off having nothing to do with her. In the end, this all comes down to your compassion. Good night Malfoy."
And as Harry disappeared just as the object of both boys' affection walked briskly out of the hospital doors without looking at him, Malfoy felt the worst he'd had all night.
Chasing after her to catch up, Malfoy didn't touch her, resisted every urge to reach out and stop her, make her look at him after everything they went through tonight, everything she was supposed to remember.
"Hermione-"
"It's Granger-"
"Stop, Granger, stop-"
"There's nothing I can think to say to you."
Draco scoffed, scowled at the portraits snoozing as he rushed past, trying to keep up with her. "Well you could tell me, oh I don't know, what he said to you."
"He said it to me, not you-"
"But it obviously has to do with me, or just maybe the fact you've forgotten about me."
"Well maybe I'm better off. And I certainly haven't forgotten all the shit you've pulled on me, Malfoy, I sure as hell haven't forgotten."
Malfoy flinched, Potter's words fresh on his mind. "I thought he would explain this to you."
Hermione scoffed. "Well obviously he didn't."
Malfoy reached out a hand to touch her wrist. "It's complicated, Hermione, but I might be able to reverse the effects. You just have to tell me what happened, that's all-"
"You know what Malfoy?" Hermione stopped, twirled to face him for the first time, and he realized there were tears brimming in her eyes. "I don't know what to say to you because I don't know why you're involved in my life at all! All Dumbledore told me was that since school started you've meant something to me! He won't tell me who you are, he won't tell me what I've done, he won't even tell me whether or not to care that apparently I've lost something! So excuse me if I'm a little lost about what I'm supposed to do with you! I don't know what you're supposed to mean! For all I know we've been having an affair behind the school back, for all I know I've declared my love for you and given up all my hatred, my animosities, my pride for my enemy. Is this what you want to hear?"
As Hermione began to lose herself, began to cry in front of her worst enemy, Malfoy reached out to hold her wrist in his hard grip, tried to calm her. "And apparently I'm the only one that really knows. Why can't you just talk to me-!"
Hermione's palm snapped against his cheek, Malfoy's silence immense, and he watched as her hands retreated to cover her face, pitifully tried to conceal her flawed emotion, her anguish.
And if it were not for this display of vulnerability, Malfoy would have been too angry to hear her cried whisper-
"The only person that knows me is the only person I can't bring myself to trust."
With her statement out, Hermione revealed her red face to Malfoy, tried to hold back her tears miserably, tried not to see the hurt and astonishment on his face, tried to remember that this was the boy, not the man but the boy who had tormented her for six years. She tried to be proud.
But she failed, blubbering.
And as Malfoy looked down upon her, tried to tell himself that it didn't have to be this way he was aware of his hand reaching softly, slowly, gently, towards her cheek, tilting her chin up to him, trying to make her see him through her tears.
"You didn't trust me before. Of everything we've lost, I just wish you could remember when that changed."
And as Hermione's anguish began to climax, Malfoy could feel his own emotion overwhelm him.
For he could feel his desire pulling at him, could feel pain drawing at his eyes, he could feel it tug his mouth towards Hermione's, his eyes linked onto her own eyes, they were so plain and brown, I never looked, she has green, like drenched moss… onto the tears dragging down her cheeks, hopeless eyes watching his advance, not in hate, not in lust or love, but in knowledge of what he was about to do, fear of how she would let herself respond.
She was indifferent to him.
And as he let his lips press into hers, he could smell her tears, her fears, feel them on her cheeks, he could feel her tears falling from his own cringed eyelids; he could taste her tears on her lips as they shared this same experience, their first and only.
Her arms reached up and Malfoy nearly shivered when her hands slid up his neck, pulled at his wet hair, pulling her closer and adjusting her kiss, her head tilted, and Malfoy turned his head, refusing to let go, even as their tears intensified, and Hermione realized she had been crying, she needed to cry, she couldn't distract herself with lust, Malfoy knew, he knew he couldn't kiss away what she meant to him.
But as he could feel her supple lips start to lose composure against his, she fell into him; he reached for her, their need for support vindicated instantly.
And as she tried to quiet her sobs into his damp cloak, it must be raining outside, he must have walked up the grounds in the rain, Hermione finally let herself cry as this man she could not remember encircled her, placed his head upon hers, and let her anguish over the fact that she may have lost a dozen significant moments like these, each uniquely heartbreaking and bittersweet and defining.
And it was as she tried to forget this, tried to forget he was supposed to mean something to her, to the rest of the wizarding world, that she stopped breathing, something brought to the front of her mind.
"You once told me that circumstances change people."
Her eyes flew up to his and he was startled at what he saw there, startled that she remembered, at a time like this, so soon.
Dark passion, stern confidence and… and under the glare, a tiny bit of understanding, shocked and sudden understanding.
"Change me."
And as Draco wished he could bend down to return the kiss she was offering, wished he could tighten his arms around her, lay his head upon hers, and not move until every tear had fallen, until every sweet and encouraging word Draco had never uttered had been whispered into her ear, it was then that Potter's words came to mind.
She's better off not remembering me; hating me is a lot easier.
And as Draco walked away from her without a word, walked alone to where nothing but his solitude and whiskey awaited him, he tried not to her hear her anguished cry, tried not to visualize her falling to her knees, for he would never again be able to give her the closure that she was not alone.
A lot easier.
Whoa. An a/n at the end of the chapter.
Craziness.
Sorry I haven't been the best updater lately, but i just recently said goodbye to my own manipulative Draco Malfoy, so the chapter I just wrote (what will soon be chapter 22- god thats soon!) is half sweet and aaaw- the other half is... yeah...
You'll see. -wink.-
So I better write more, right? Wouldn't want to be so behind I don't have a back up chapter in case my reviewers get stabby-
Hey, all you readers, go make love to my best friend for life.
She's my most devoted reviewer (because I told her to) but she's a fucking sweetheart with a cute nose to boot.
So, like, can I say it again?
Review.
Don't make me pull a suicide threat like my lovely ex boyfriend did. Yeah yeah, totally not funny. But you'd hate him too. Beware Joshua Munoz, o poor girls with foolishly innocent naivete.
-mwah.-