A/N Oh my gosh…. I'm so sorry it took me so long to update!! My computer turned itself off one night and wouldn't come back on and I found out that the power supply in the computer had died. Then I had to wait A WEEK for it to be fixed. Trust me, I was not a happy person. I'm so sorry I've kept you all waiting, its been agony not writing but I'm back now and when I get back into it I know I'll write the next few chapters really quickly!! Anyway, please forgive me and thanks to reviewers:

Coudle: Oh good I'm glad you liked it; I hadn't planned the fluff part, just kinda happened! And when I write like that (spontaneously) I can't delete it hehe! Here's the next chapter for you!

Kingmunkey: Hey, again I'm sorry about the long update… I hope you still have time to read! I hate schoolwork when it prevents me from writing and reading, that's why I'm trying to write so much now! Thanks!

Kelmo: Thanks, glad to have you reading it!

GoldxxSunlight: Thank you! Glad you love it hehe!

Lost Years

The door shut behind Hermione, and Harry suddenly seemed to feel a lot more nervous. Ginny was looking lovingly into his eyes, exploring his face as if she'd only just met him, but Harry couldn't stop shaking.

Ginny held his hand as she walked back towards her bed and sat on it. Harry sat on the chair that was next to it and stared tentatively at her back as she pulled a sheet over her legs.

When Ginny turned back round to face him, Harry was surprised to see that the loving expression had gone, and now she looked very concerned.

"Where have you been, Harry?" She asked calmly.

Harry stared for a moment, not registering the question, but then blinked and swallowed (with difficulty) and started to answer her. "You… You know where I've been," He said slowly.

"Yes I do, but you said you wouldn't be away for that long," Ginny moaned and began to cry. Harry had realised - in the short period of time that he had been with her - that the depression seemed to make her cry a lot more. She never used to cry at anything. Today however, she was crying all the time.

"Well, Ginny, I didn't know back then how clever Malfoy had become. I thought he was just… Malfoy…" Harry said truthfully; for he could never have guessed that in six years Malfoy would have become so powerful.

"But he's gone now isn't he? Dead?" Ginny asked quickly, having stopped crying already.

"Yeah… He's dead," Harry answered – again truthfully. It had been a long time coming, but Draco Malfoy was dead.

Ginny's face relaxed into a smile and she said nothing, just staring up to the ceiling with what looked like a huge amount of interest. Harry wasn't sure what to say to her for fear of making her upset again, so he too just stared, but not at the ceiling.

"What did you have to do this time then?" Ginny asked in a dreamy voice, rather reminding Harry of Luna Lovegood whom he had gone to Hogwarts with.

"To kill him?" Harry asked.

Ginny nodded, much to Harry's disappointment. He didn't really want to talk about the past two years; they had been like a nightmare.

"Well," Harry started, "All I had to do was kill him. But he was so… I don't know… Quick, I suppose; at everything he did. He was too quick for me after six years of hardly doing anything. It's hard to explain. But he just dodged everything I threw at him, and it was some pretty old magic that I was using; I wouldn't have thought Malfoy would have known about it."

Harry stopped and sighed deeply before Ginny cut in, "I will get better you know," very matter-of-factly.

"What?" The abrupt change of topic threw Harry's train of mind.

"I'll get over this… whatever it is I've got. They won't tell me," Ginny looked sadly at the piece of blanket she was fiddling with, and then looked up again very quickly, with a huge smile on her face. "Do you know what it is?!"

"No…" Harry shook his head and answered quietly. He felt terrible to see the saddened look on Ginny's face, but he thought that if the Healers and Hermione weren't telling her what was wrong, there must have been a reason not to. Perhaps if she knew she'd got depression, it would make it even worse. "Can you…" Harry wanted to ask about Ginny's story so much, but he was afraid it would make her shout or cry. But then she looked up at him, with that adoring face she had used before, and Harry needed to know everything. "Can you remember when you came in here?"

Silence.

Harry thought that he had taken things too far until Ginny's expression changed. That dreamy look she had had in her eyes the whole time Harry had been there vanished, and she finally looked almost like her old self. She was deep in thought – difficult thought from what Harry could see – and then she looked back up at him and whispered, "I don't know when it was… I've lost count of the weeks. But I remember being in here for about two weeks and then they let me go. And then…" Tears began to shine in her eyes, "And then Hermione forced me back here a month after I'd got out. I remember she took my hand one day and said 'Ginny, you're ill, you need help'." Ginny paused for a moment and bit her lip, fighting back the tears. Harry so wanted to reach out his hand and hold hers, but he thought that if he did that he wouldn't hear the rest. "I didn't react very well to that. I pulled out my wand and shot every curse I could think of at her. She was ready for me though; she had already put a shield charm around herself. And the curses rebounded off of the shield and flew towards me… I can't remember anything after that apart from being in here again."

Harry watched painfully as tears fell from her eyes. He wanted to stop her suffering, but needed to know more. "Ginny, why do you think Hermione asked you to come back here?"

She shrugged and answered, "I guess things were difficult at home. But surely they would have been more difficult after I left."

"Maybe… Maybe things were difficult because you were there?" Harry suggested.

Ginny stared at him for a moment, and then nodded, "I've been telling myself that isn't true, but I think I've always known it was."

There was a long pause as Harry considered his next move. Then, slowly, he took a deep breath and asked "Ginny, what happened before you came in here the first time?"

Ginny looked up quickly, with a sharp look in her eyes. Then her eyes narrowed, as if she was examining him, or reading him. "You already know, don't you?" She said quietly.

Harry gulped loudly, "I think so…"

"Malfoy raped me, Harry."

Hearing the words coming from his wife's own mouth seemed to confirm it for Harry; it also made him feel so much worse about it. And he was astonished that she didn't break down in tears as she said it. Surely that was a good sign? It meant she was getting over it?

"But… But what happened after that?" Harry asked.

This time, Ginny flinched a bit before saying, "I think… I think I was in denial… And I washed myself dozens of times a day – I just felt so contaminated. Then Hermione brought me here for two weeks. After that I felt cleaner, ready to face the world and forget about Malfoy. I wanted to concentrate on my family again." Ginny smiled slightly, but then it wavered, and Harry could tell something bad was coming.

Ginny took a deep breath and carried on, "Hermione bring them in here sometimes you know. The boys and Harriet. But, it's just… Hard…"

"Harriet?" Harry repeated suddenly. He knew that name from somewhere. Then it came to him in a lightning strike. It was that little girl that Hermione was holding in the earlier hours of this morning, when Harry first arrived.

"Yes…" Ginny said, sounding a little unsure now, "You have met her, haven't you?"

"Well, I saw her this morning, but, I don't know who she is…" Harry answered. And then a terrible thought rushed over him; what if this Harriet was Malfoy's daughter… a product of raping Ginny? Maybe that was why Ginny was depressed – not just because of the rape itself, but the consequences of it… and then she'd been in here for a year because she couldn't face seeing Harriet?

"You, don't, know?" Ginny separated her words as if she was very confused.

"No," Harry answered quietly.

"Well," She said, her tone of voice suddenly changing to businesslike and sharp, "You need to ask Hermione."

"Why can't you tell me?" Harry asked quickly.

"Because I don't want to talk about it," Ginny answered shortly.

"It?"

"Harry, lets stop talking about it, talk about each other!" Ginny nodded in agreement to her own suggestion.

"No, who is Harriet?" Harry persisted.

"Shut up!"

"No!"

"Hermione!" Ginny called. Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation. "HERMIONE!"

"Don't start that again, Ginny!" Harry shouted back at her.

"Hermione!"

The door flew open and almost rebounded into Hermione face as she sped into the room. She pushed Harry aside and walked straight up to Ginny, who was crying and punching the bed.

Harry watched the two of them. Hermione calmed Ginny down so quickly it was like she'd been doing it every day for the past year. Well, she must have been, mustn't she? To think that he had left Hermione alone with so much to take care of, that his wife had gone insane while he was away; it was unbearable.

"Harry, you'd better go," Hermione turned and told him after Ginny had whispered countless remarks to her.

Harry did not argue, he just turned and walked out of the room.

He walked down the corridor of the hospital, without wearing his invisibility cloak, and listened as the rooms around him when silent and motionless, watching him. He really had other things to worry about however, as they all stared, gawping at him like they'd never seen him before. Twice in his life he had gone away, seeking revenge on two people he hated more than anything else in the world – even more than his inherited messy hair – to come back and find that he'd ruined whatever happiness he had left. Last time of course, he was lucky, Ginny had forgiven him for the traitorous murders he had committed, but could she ever forgive him for leaving her to get raped and impregnated by a person whom they both despised? And he hadn't even seen Liam yet. Had his son also turned to hate him in the past two years?

Before he knew it, Harry was sitting on soft, warm grass, on a field close to St. Mungo's. It was better here, as most people passing by were muggles, and had never seen Harry before in their lives. However, some visitors from the hospital had 'slyly' followed him to the field and were muttering among themselves mere metres away from him.

He had been sitting there for little over half an hour when Hermione found him and sat next to him in silence. Harry didn't need to ask how she'd found him; he guessed there were dozens of people in the hospital saying that Harry Potter was outside on the field.

After a few minutes of silent thought on both of their parts, Hermione started to talk.

"You need to keep calm when you're with her, Harry. Getting angry just makes her upset," She explained.

At this, Harry fumed up at once, "Oh, so you think it's easy for me to come home after two years and find out that my wife is mental?"

"She's not mental, Harry! That's a horrid thing to say!" Hermione moaned.

"What would you have me call her then? Crazy? Insane?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"She's upset," Hermione remarked stonily.

"Depressed!"

"Do you want to know who Harriet is or not?" Hermione yelled so that the people closest to them stopped talking and watched.

Harry eyed her steadily. For some reason his pulse rate had seemed to get a lot quicker when she said that. Did he really want to know who Harriet was? What if it confirmed his suspicions?

Slowly, Harry nodded.

Hermione tried a tiny smile and held his hand, her fingers were frozen. "She's your daughter, Harry."

Did his pulse stop now? It felt as though it had.

"What?" Harry whispered.

"Harriet is your daughter," Hermione repeated, her smile growing warmer, "Haven't you thought about her name? Doesn't it sound like something?"

However, Harry had noticed the link in their names early on this morning, but he had come to the conclusion that if they thought Harry was dead, almost anyone would call a baby girl Harriet to remind them of him. Wouldn't they?

"Ginny thought you were never coming back by the time Harriet was born," Hermione explained, "So she named her after you, so that there was a stronger link between you."

Harry sat for a moment, completely gob-smacked. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He was sure Harriet was a product of rape. She had such pale skin, just like Malfoy's… But then, it was only now that Harry remembered those strikingly green eyes he had seen that morning, and the black hair, with a tinge of red, that was on her head.

Harry turned quickly to look at Hermione, and he smiled.

"You believe me?" She asked quietly.

"She was born nine months after I left wasn't she?" Harry stated more than asked, remembering the passionate evening he had spent with Ginny.

"Well, eight," Hermione answered, "She was premature."

"I can't believe it," Harry said, shaking his head, "All this time… Why didn't you write to me and tell me?"

"Harry, we honestly thought you were dead," She confessed, "Almost eight months without a word from you; what would you have thought?"

"Hedwig was killed! I couldn't help it!" Harry shouted, albeit quietly. "You could have sent an owl anyway, if it couldn't find me then yes, I was dead! But if it had found me I would have written straight back, maybe even come home!"

"Sorry," Hermione said shamefully.

Harry huffed loudly and tried to put that part of the conversation behind them.

"So," He started, "Why didn't you tell me when you saw me this morning?"

"Oh come on, Harry! It was too much to take in! You were lying there on the floor of my house and…"

"My house!" Harry interrupted her.

"Sorry," She said again, "But I've lived there for so long on my own now, it may as well be my house.

"Anyway, you had your wand pointing at me and I wasn't even sure if it was you, can you really blame me?" Hermione finished.

Harry sighed and admitted defeat on that matter with a nod of the head. "But why wouldn't Ginny tell me about Harriet when I asked her earlier?"

Suddenly, Hermione's face dropped and she let out a sigh.

"That…" She began, "That's the reason Ginny is in St. Mungo's Harry."

"I don't understand…"

"Ok, well, Ginny gave birth to Harriet and we were reasonably happy – it's just, you weren't there. She was so in love with her, she'd spend hours just looking at her, probably because she reminded Ginny so much of you. Honestly, she couldn't get enough of her. But then, about a year after you left, Malfoy came… Obviously, he raped Ginny and she became obsessive compulsive with hygiene, so I took her to St. Mungo's. They found out she was pregnant and told her so. I think that was the worst part. But they got rid of the baby and Ginny got better a week later after being with a Healer every day. But… she came home and, she was so different… She hardly looked at Harriet at all – she couldn't really stand the sight of her. Harry, she thinks Harriet is Malfoy's daughter, not yours. That's why she's in St. Mungo's." Harry stomach churned and he suddenly felt very weak, but he kept his full attention on Hermione as she carried on speaking. "The Healers and I have tried to convince her that Harriet is yours hundreds of times, but she won't have it. We've put pictures of you as a baby and Harriet next to each other, we've pointed out the same green eyes, the hair…" Hermione finished and shook her head as a few tears fell down her cheeks.

Harry sat and held her hand for a long while, lost in thought. Why couldn't Ginny understand any of it? Harriet was clearly Harry's daughter, and not even a monkey would be persuaded otherwise! His thoughts landed on Malfoy after a very short period of time, and how he must be laughing wherever he had gone after death. Harry wished he had spent a lot more time with the Cruciatus curse before finishing Malfoy off completely a week ago.

Harry jumped as Hermione started to talk again beside him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Harriet earlier Harry," She sniffed, "I just hoped that Ginny would tell you, because that would have meant she believed it herself."

She started to cry again as he watched her. His best friend in the world. She had been through so much in the past two years, perhaps even more than Ginny? Hermione had had to look after three children with no support. Well, there was always Ginny's parents, and her own, but they were getting older, they didn't need children running all over the place would they… He knew that was how Hermione would have seen it. And what on earth had happened to James in the past years? His father had died, and his mother had moved onto looking after younger children. Harry remembered seeing James that morning. He was older now, almost a teen, and he looked hard worn and tough. He looked like a teen that would hate his parents for no reason at all…

"Hermione," Harry whispered after a long while. She wiped her tears and looked up at him, "I love you."

She gazed at him for a moment, narrowing her eyes as she did so. "I love you too," She said quietly back to him.

Harry smiled. He knew that Hermione understood him. He didn't love her like he loved Ginny, it was no where close. But he needed her to know that he loved her in a way that he couldn't really define. It wasn't sisterly love, and it wasn't romantic; it was just there. And now that Hermione knew it, Harry felt a lot better.

A/N Eek… Like I said, I'm sorry for the AMAZINGLY long update… But it's here now. And it's a very long chapter, don't quite know how it got that long lol! But hope you enjoyed it!