AN: Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews; ya'll really brighten my day.

Occlumency Revisited

August 1996

Severus shot upright at two in the morning, his sleep interrupted; a piercing scream alerted him to the cause of his abrupt awaking. Hastily throwing a robe over his black silk sleep pants, Severus quickly climbed the stairs to Potter's bedroom, wand drawn, expecting blood and Death Eaters if the screams were anything to go by.

Bursting into a room empty save the thrashing figure on the bed, Severus was both relieved and unnerved. The young man who had faced down the Dark Lord without a trace of fear was screaming in the midst of a nightmare. Knowing he should wake the brat, but unsure how to do so without ending up like Luc, Severus hesitated. Another heartrending scream echoed through the room, and he knew he had to act.

Severus cautiously approached the bed. "Potter, wake up," he snapped. The brat was whimpering and thrashing about; Severus stopped at the bedside. "Potter, it's just a dream. Wake up, now."

If he didn't know Potter had ample reason to have nightmares, Severus would swear the brat was trying to get to him. Who wouldn't feel for the boy? His screams and whimpers tugged even at Severus' walled up heart.

Resigned to being hexed, Severus reached out, took hold of the boy's shoulder and shook lightly. "Harry, it's a dream, wake up for Merlin's sake," he muttered, only to stumble back a step when Potter shot up, panting and wild-eyed. "Potter, it was a dream, it's over now," Snape repeated.

Harry's head snapped around; wild green eyes locked with Snape's, the moon providing enough light to see the man. Calming his breathing, he said, "Sorry, guess I forgot the silencing charms." Harry dropped his head as, inside him, humiliation warred with gratitude that Snape had woken him before the worst part of the dream.

Severus stared at the boy intently. "Silencing charms? How often do you have nightmares?" Severus quickly ran though sleeping potions in his mind. Depending on how often the dreams occurred, he hoped one would work.

Humiliation won and Harry slumped back on the bed. "Fairly often," he whispered.

"Exactly how often? Give me a number, Potter." The brat wouldn't look at him when he answered barely audibly, "Four or five times."

Severus took a deep breath, trying to rein in his annoyance and impatience. "Four or five time what, Potter? A year, a month?" Potter still wouldn't meet his eyes, so the whispered 'a week' didn't come as a shock.

Harry nervously rubbed at the seam of his pants. He would have to remember to put up the silencing wards in the morning. The man was good enough to stay with Harry; he didn't deserve to have his sleep disturbed every night.

Severus could see Potter was reluctant to talk about the dreams, not that he held it against the young man. He would be hard pressed to share the terrors that haunted his own dreams. Perhaps there was a way to obtain the information he needed to help the boy without intruding on Potter's desire for privacy. "Potter, the dreams, are they memories or figments of your imagination?" he inquired.

At the carefully worded question, Harry lifted his head, and his eyes held a faraway look. "Memories; it's always memories," he said slowly.

Severus nodded; there was a chance he could help, but the process would not be enjoyable for either of them. "Very well, Potter, try to sleep some more; in the morning we will attempt to control these dreams." After the softly spoken 'thanks for waking me,' Severus lingered long enough to assure himself Potter at least intended to rest before seeking his own bed and returning to his much needed sleep.

The next time Harry woke, the sun was shining. Stretching and ambling to the loo, Harry attended to his morning ablutions and dressed comfortably for the day. Downstairs, the young man followed the scent of coffee to the front porch. Intent on the caffeine his mind craved, he failed to notice his companion until he was half way through his second cup.

"Not a morning person, are we, Potter?" came the silky drawl.

Harry rubbed his eyes, not believing the sight before him. Severus Snape was lounging on a chair in blue jeans and a black tee shirt, barefoot, smoking a cigarette, and reading the morning paper in-between sips of coffee, using an empty saucer for an ashtray. Stunned, Harry said the only thing to come to mind. "I didn't know you smoked."

Severus rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't; Albus doesn't allow his staff to smoke in public. It might set a bad example for the dunderheads. I will refrain from smoking in the house if it offends you so much."

Harry laughed, pulling out his own pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "Would be a bit hypocritical of me, now wouldn't it."

Severus looked over the Muggle cigarettes and sat up jerkily. "Potter, don't smoke that Muggle rubbish," he snapped. "That shite will kill you." Summoning a pack of wizard cigarettes from his room, he tossed them to Potter. "Wizard cigarettes have the toxins removed, and the taste is better."

Harry couldn't help staring at Snape; the man he'd always thought of as rigid and straight-laced was acting very out of character. Snape still seemed reserved, but he was more relaxed than Harry would have ever imagined. "Why are you so different here?" he asked curiously. "I mean, no shoes, smoking, giving me cigarettes?"

Severus folded the newspaper and laid it beside his coffee. Exasperation was clear in his voice when he answered. "Oh for Merlin's sake, Potter, even you can't be so dim as to expect your teachers to act the same outside of school as they do inside." Severus crushed out his cigarette. "To prevent the destruction of my classroom and excessive impertinence, I maintain a certain demeanor in the presence of children. However, I see no children here."

Harry sat a little straighter in his chair, pleased that in a Snapish way he'd been given a compliment. Still feeling guilty for interrupting Snape's sleep, he offered, "Sorry about last night, it won't happen again."

Severus waved away the apology and refilled his coffee cup, watching Potter from behind his veil of hair. Potter lit one of the wizard cigarettes and inhaled in pleasure. Withdrawing one from his own pack Severus tapped it thoughtfully before lighting it with his wand and taking a deep drag to fortify himself for the conversation to come. "Sleeping draughts won't work due to the frequency of you nightmares."

Harry sighed; he knew the topic would come up but he'd half hoped Snape would just leave it be. "I know, I woke my roommates so often McGonagall made me see Madam Pomfrey. She said I should only take them when I absolutely needed to," Harry said resignedly.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "How long has this situation gone on?"

"I started having nightmares after the Chamber in second year; they used to be only when I'd had a stressful day. It's only since just before the tournament that they have come so often," the young man explained. Frustrated with his dreams, Harry raked his hair out of his face with both hands before letting it fall back into place.

Snape's other eyebrow rose as well. "For the last two years you have had nightmares that leave you screaming yourself awake, with only the sporadic help of the occasional sleeping draught, four or five times a week?" Severus could not believe the headmaster had allowed the situation to deteriorate so far. That the brat was still sane and functioning was a testament to Potter's iron will.

Harry blushed and nodded; he was embarrassed to reveal such a weakness to Snape of all people. The man always seemed so in control; no doubt he refused to have nightmares.

Severus saw the blush and guessed the cause; wanting to spare the young man as much embarrassment as possible, he spoke matter-of-factly. "Potter, I understand nightmares. With my past there is fodder for a multitude of interrupted nights. However, there is a method to significantly reduce the frequency of them."

Harry looked up, a glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes. "How?"

"I have been reluctant to broach this topic due to our past difficulties," Severus started. "However, you need more sleep than you are currently getting if you wish to do well with all we have planned. Frankly, I'm impressed you did so well on your O.W.L.'s."

Harry sighed impatiently; it wasn't like Snape to beat around the bush like this. "I took a dreamless sleep potion the week of the O.W.L.'s. Severus, please tell me how to control my nightmares."

Severus took another long drag from his cigarette and said bluntly, "Occlumency."

Harry flinched. Even the word, Occlumency, brought up painful memories. He copied Severus' drag on his cigarette. He needed sleep, he was so tired of his worst memories playing out at night, so he asked, "How would Occlumency help with nightmares? I thought it was just a defense to keep people out of your head."

Severus was relieved the brat seemed willing to discuss it calmly; he'd half feared another screaming row. "Yes, the main purpose of Occlumency is to defend against a Legilimens; however, if you wish to successfully occlude your mind, it must be ordered. Once your mind is ordered it is possible to lock away certain memories until such a time as your conscious mind unlocks them. As you are no doubt aware, when asleep it is your unconscious mind pulling forth the memories."

Harry nodded his understanding; he sipped his coffee for a few minutes, wondering if he could do it. Would the frustration be worth it? Thinking over all he wanted to accomplish this year, along with the need to find and destroy several Horcruxes, he decided it was. "Okay, if you're willing to try it again, so am I."

Severus needed to be sure Potter was serious this time. "You will put forth more effort this time?" When the brat started to protest Severus cut in, "Potter, can you tell me honestly that you gave it your best effort last time? That you really wanted to learn Occlumency?"

Harry's protest died on his lips; they both knew he hadn't wanted to learn and only gave a poor effort at best. "I will give it my best this time, I swear it."

Severus nodded his acceptance. "Very well. I have a few matters to attend to, so we'll begin in an hour. Meet me in the living room." Severus rose gracefully from his chair and headed inside, calling over his shoulder, "Oh, and, Potter, take a look at the paper. I especially enjoyed the front page."

Unable to resist his curiosity, Harry picked up the paper; choking on his coffee, he read: Boy-Who-Lived-To-Kill-You-Know-Who! Underneath the lurid headline was a picture of Harry from the Triwizard Tournament. "Shite, shite, shite," he growled. Scowling, Harry read the accompanying article; sighing with relief, he saw the details had not been made public. The capture of Pettigrew and Bellatrix was also reported. Harry was relieved to see Snape had received some credit there at least, for his role in Voldemort's defeat was not noted.

As he was washing the coffee things, Harry realized some household help would be needed. There were sure to be owls from fans, and he didn't want to play house-elf all summer. Not now that he was Dursley-free. Wondering if it would work, he called out, "Dobby."

In less than a minute the little elf popped into the room and launched himself at Harry's knees, crying out, "Harry Potter is calling Dobby to Harry Potter's home! Is Harry Potter wanting Dobby to work for him now?" Harry gently patted Dobby's back, trying to calm him enough to talk.

Detaching the ecstatic elf, Harry knelt down. "Yes, Dobby, I'd like you to work for me, and I'll pay you whatever you'd like." A few minutes' negotiations settled Dobby's wage as a little higher than at Hogwarts and the same time off. Harry gave his new employee his instructions. "All I really need, Dobby, is for you to cook for Professor Snape and me. Maybe sort the mail, throw out anything dangerous or from strangers, okay?"

Dobby nodded, his bat-like ears flapping. "Yes, Harry Potter, sir. Dobby be doing all that, and the cleaning and the laundry." Dobby didn't seem to need to breathe when he talked, causing Harry some concern.

Harry simply sighed and nodded, not wanting to argue duty with a house-elf. "Okay, Dobby, we should be ready for lunch around noon." After more thank you's and another hug, Harry escaped to the living room and for Occlumency lesson, trying to remember why he'd thought hiring Dobby would be a good idea.

Harry entered the living room to find a still jean-clad barefoot Snape reading a thick book in a leather armchair before the lit fireplace. Harry dropped into the matching chair opposite Snape and dropped his head in his hands. He hoped he did the right thing hiring the hyper little elf, and wished that Dobby would calm down soon.

Severus set aside his book and observed the young man across from him; Potter was dressed in loose tan drawstring pants and a green tee shirt; his feet were bare and his hair was loose around his shoulders, falling in his face, a face that was currently hidden by his hands. "Problem, Potter?" Severus drawled.

"I just hired Dobby to cook and look after the house. I'm not sure I'll survive his devotion," Harry moaned.

"That hyperactive elf from Hogwarts? If you dislike the creature why would you feel the need to hire him?" Severus asked curiously.

"I like him fine, besides I didn't fancy being the house-elf if I didn't have to. I doubt you'd be willing to do all the cooking and cleaning either. It's just Dobby is so…Dobby." Harry raked his hands though his hair, pushing it off his face.

"Indeed, house-elf is not a role I would relish; I had not thought about the division of labor. I'm pleased you corrected that oversight. Fear not, Potter, the elf will soon lose his awe of you; spending sufficient time in your presence is a sure cure for that ailment," Severus said, hiding a smile.

"Git; you couldn't compliment me without adding the insult, could you?" Harry said, laughing.

"The day I fail to insult you, Potter, is the day they dig my grave." Severus gave Potter a wicked grin then sobered. "Jocularity aside, we need to get started. Wand out, let us see what you recall from our previous lessons." Walking to the center of the room, Severus waited for Potter to join him.

Harry drew a bracing breath and rose, pulling his wand from his pocket and standing before Snape. He lifted his head and looked into those fathomless black eyes and heard, "Legilimens."

Severus entered the brat's mind with absurd ease. Memories flew past him. Potter at six watching with longing as a fat boy opened Christmas presents… A fat Muggle yelling at a very young Potter about breakfast being late then pushing past him… A skinny woman swinging at Potter's head with a soapy frying pan. Severus searched for a memory with plenty of pain attached, hoping the brat would push him out with some incentive, and watched in horror as the Diggory boy died.Before the memory could reach its conclusion, Severus pulled out of Potter's mind.

"Damn it, Potter, you're still not trying. Your mind is wide open; which part of 'clear your mind' is so difficult for you? Damn it, I'm beginning to think you didn't even read that bloody book," Severus snarled.

Harry interrupted Snape mid-rant, "What book? You never gave me a book. You just yell 'clear your mind', and I don't bloody know how." Harry was angry; this was no different than the previous lessons.

"The book I told that foul elf of Black's to give you. I would have given it to you myself, but if I remained in the same room with Black I would have cursed him. Did you read it?" Severus' voice was laced with frustration; he knew the brat was capable of Occlumency. It required willpower and Merlin knew the brat had that in spades.

Harry started laughing and couldn't stop, not even when Snape glared at him and began tapping his foot. Struggling to regain his composure, Harry gasped out, "You gave Kreacher a book to give me and expected him to listen? Bloody hell, he only obeyed Sirius when he couldn't find any way around it, and he never obeyed anyone else. I never got a book about Occlumency, and Hogwarts library didn't have one."

In between bursts of laughter Severus could hear Potter mumble, "All this time… all the yelling and Sirius… it's all that bloody foul elf's fault."

"Now I'm doubly glad I killed the loathsome creature," Severus spat. "I would have killed him sooner for wasting my time had I known."

Harry's laughter broke off, and he looked at Snape, green eyes wide in shock. "You killed Kreacher? When? Why?"

Severus looked at Potter warily. "At the beginning of the summer holidays; he couldn't be trusted. Suppose the next time he visited the Malfoys he revealed my true loyalties. It was a risk I was not willing to take. Albus disagreed, but it was too late."

"Why did Dumbledore disagree?" Harry asked.

"He thought the wretched thing could be rehabilitated, with kindness and lemon drops, no doubt. Look, Potter, technically he was your elf at the time, as Black left you everything. If you ask I would be obliged to pay you recompose for your loss." Severus' face was a blank mask, his voice tight.

Harry took in Snape's stiff posture. "No, I don't want anything, I'm not sorry he's dead. It's just, I mean, you killed him, and you smoke, and your clothes... I've spent the last five years seeing you as the Potions master and now this… It's just the shock of realizing you're…" Harry trailed off, afraid he'd offended Snape.

Severus relaxed. Potter was not angry and he seemed willing to accept Severus as he was. Did the brat know what a rare gift that was? "A man or perhaps human," he finished. "Either would be correct."

Potter nodded and ducked his head, blushing; Severus knew what he was feeling. "Relax, Potter, I understand, it is difficult when you first realize your former professors are human as well. I was not quite twenty when I began teaching at Hogwarts. At my first staff meeting, Minerva McGonagall told an off-color joke. To which I responded 'Professor!' like an outraged virgin. The resulting laughter still haunts me."

Harry choked on his laughter. "She told a dirty joke?"

Severus grinned wickedly and said, "It was almost as bad the first time I heard Flitwick say fuck."

Harry sat on the floor and collapsed with laughter. "Thanks, Severus," he said when he regained his breath. "I will try to remember that you're human too."

"Time, Potter. All it takes is time," drawled Severus.

Harry looked up at Snape. Knowing the man was human helped him ask, "What was in that book? Why was it so important?"

Severus sank gracefully to the floor across from Potter. "Detailed Occlumency books are quite rare, as you discovered. That particular book was very detailed; it contained several methods to clearing and ordering your mind," he explained patiently.

Frustrated, Severus ran an absentminded hand through his hair. "At the time I intended for you to experiment until you found one that worked. But there is another method of learning; it would require a great deal of trust on your part."

Harry raised his eyes to the man sitting cross-legged before him. "That's okay, I trust you."

Severus sighed; the brat kept saying that, and if Severus wasn't careful one day he might start to believe it. "Potter, let me explain before you dive headfirst in your typical Gryffindor fashion," Severus growled.

At Potter's nod he continued more calmly, "Unlike what we have been attempting, this method would require you allowing, even welcoming me into your mind. The purpose is so that I may assist you in ordering you thoughts. I will show you how it is done so that you may finish the endeavor correctly. However, there are risks."

Harry interrupted, "Why didn't we do it that way last term?"

Severus sneered. "Would you have welcomed me into your mind, your innermost thoughts, desires and fears at that time?" Potter had the grace to blush and look away as he shook his head. "I thought not, now if I may continue."

Harry turned his gaze back to Snape. "Sorry, I know you must think I'm a fool," he mumbled.

"Yet you continue to open your mouth and prove it anyway." Severus could not resist such an opening, ignoring the muttered 'git'; there wasn't any heat behind it. He resumed his lecture. "The risks if you attempt to resist me range from a mild headache to several days of unconsciousness, depending on the force of the resistance. Now do you understand why I did not suggest this last time? You would have spent a week in the hospital wing."

Distractedly, Harry agreed. "Yeah, I understand." The young man thought hard. Can I let Snape into my head like that? I'm still not sure I even like the git, but lately he's been bearable. Actually he's been really nice, for Snape, and I do trust him. I've got to learn this. Well, nothing to do but try. Hopefully the headache won't be too bad.

Severus waited patiently for Potter's decision, knowing that what he was suggesting was a difficult concept, worthy of serious thought. On one hand, Severus hoped Potter agreed; he needed to know Occlumency and Severus sincerely wanted to help with the nightmares. On the other hand, Severus was not certain he wanted to see that much of the brat's thoughts and desires, much less his fears. As such, he was not at all sure how he felt when he heard Potter say, "I'll do it."

Over lunch, the two men agreed to try the new method after dinner. Severus explained to Potter that he needed to be relaxed for best results, and encouraged the brat to choose activities he enjoyed for the remainder of the day.

After lunch Severus spent the afternoon turning the downstairs sitting room into a respectable potions lab. Several enjoyable and productive hours later Severus joined Potter for an excellent dinner. Severus was pleased the brat had the foresight to hire the elf, even if the creature's fawning over Potter was disgusting.

The two men made their way into the living room, both lost in thought about what was to occur. Severus directed Potter to sit before the fire. Pouring them both a measure of scotch, Severus handed one to Potter and took his seat. At Potter's questioning look he explained, "From what I have observed you have already corrupted yourself. This, however, is to help you relax. Sip it, don't gulp, it's fifty-year-old scotch."

Harry took a tentative sip, then another. "It's good," he concluded finally. "Better than the shite my uncle had."

Severus mocked, "Smoking and drinking, at your tender age? I'm shocked, Potter, that the hero of the wizarding world would do such things." There was a question laced in the insult.

Harry glared at him. "Merlin, you're a sarcastic git. I shouldn't tell you, but, the drinking was just to see what the fuss was about. I decided getting pissed is a bloody stupid thing to do, because the next day is awful. Smoking, on the other hand, − it's relaxing. Gives me time to think. At Hogwarts I'd go to the far side of the lake; at the Dursleys', anywhere they couldn't see me."

Severus sipped his own drink. "I concur with your decision about inebriation; my own reason is my dislike of losing control as well as the inevitable pain."

Hoping to encourage Potter to relax, he added, "I share your reasons for smoking as well; I started at your age when I discovered that, after my father died, the smell brought to mind the few fond memories I have of the man. You will be permitted to smoke in my quarters, but not in any public areas of Hogwarts."

Harry nodded his understanding; they spent several moments quietly sipping the liquor before Snape said, "Let's begin."

Severus glanced over Potter; the brat was as relaxed as he probably could be given the circumstances. "Remain seated, get comfortable and remember to remain relaxed. You will not be required to do anything beyond permit my entry. When you are ready, look me in the eye and think of nothing other than allowing me in." As he waited for Potter to prepare himself, Severus hoped they were both up to this or it would be painful.

Harry took a deep breath relaxed as much as possible given Snape was soon to be in his head. Figuring this was as good as it got, Harry lifted his head and met those intense black eyes with Gryffindor determination. Several moments passed, and Harry was beginning to feel silly sitting and staring into Snape's eyes when he felt a presence in his mind. Harry fought the instinctive reaction to force the intruder out. Once that passed, he gasped. He could understand what Snape wanted him to do even though there were no words; it was like Snape had said. He was literally showing him what to do.

Ordering his mind was like making a multi-layered sphere. Harry's darkest memories, the ones that haunted his dreams, were locked in the center, enclosed in diamond walls, the hardest substance Harry knew. Private plans, desires, thoughts and fears were the next layer, with walls of solid steel, next mildly embarrassing thoughts.

Severus withdrew from Potter's mind when the brat seemed to grasp the concept; seeing the memories that tormented Potter's sleep had left him shaken. They had been far worse than he had imagined, and the thought that a sixteen-year-old boy had witnessed some of the most depraved acts of the Dark Lord almost cost Severus his dinner.

To prevent such an occurrence Severus rose and poured himself another drink; a glance at Potter showed the young man still engaged in ordering his mind. Left to his own thoughts, Severus sat and stared into the fire. For Merlin's sake, that young man has seen far worse depravity than most grown men. And those Muggles that raised him. It was neglect, if not outright abuse. No wonder he so readily accepted the Bar and me. Potter needs someone to accept him for himself, that's why he so readily accepts me as I am. He knows how valuable and rare that is. The brat is embarrassed by how those Muggles treated him. Perhaps I should share some of my past, show him I understand. When did I start to care what Potter felt? Bloody hell, I consider the brat a friend. I'm as fucked up as Potter. I need acceptance as much as the brat… fuck it all, I need another drink.

Harry pulled out of his own mind, refocusing on the here and now. Ordering his mind was amazing. Everything seemed clearer, it was easier to think without the emotions so close to the surface. After locking away those memories, he could already feel some of the terror fading. It wasn't that they were forgotten, more like put into perspective. Wondering how this would affect the Black magic, he turned to Snape. "What do you think ordering my mind will do to the Black magic?"

Severus shook his thoughts away and looked at Potter. It was an intelligent question; he'd have to stop thinking of the brat as a dunderhead. "My understanding is Black magic amplifies your innate magic with the power of your emotions. With your thoughts clear you should be able to tap into your emotions consciously, instead of them controlling you. Try something."

Harry held out a hand palm up and conjured a ball of Black fire. Staring at it, he said, "It's easier; before it would take longer to call up."

Severus was entranced by the black flames playing in the brat's hand. "Does it not burn?"

Potter shook his head. "No, not at all. You can feel it if you'd like, it won't burn you either."

Severus slowly reached towards the ball of flames; he could not feel any heat coming from the fire. He stuck one finger into the dancing flames. He felt them caressing his skin, but they did not burn him.

Severus pulled back his hand, unsure as to what he was feeling; the young man across from him was the most powerful wizard in the world. Yet the brat was seemingly unaware of the spectacular nature of his power. "You should practice clearing your mind every night, be sure to order new memories at the end of each day. Hopefully you will be able to sleep with fewer nightmares. Would you care for another drink?"

Harry doused the flames and said, "I'll get it, did you want one too?" At Snape's nod he poured them both another glass and retook his seat. "Thanks again, I really think this might work." A little nervous about what Snape might have seen in his mind, he asked, "How much did you see?"

"Enough to know that I completely misjudged you. Aside from the atrocities you witnessed through your link with the Dark Lord, the behavior of your Muggle relatives alone would cause anyone nightmares." Severus paused. Withdrawing his pack of cigarettes, he took one for himself and tossed the pack to Potter, conjuring an ashtray.

The two sat quietly for a couple of minutes, contemplatively smoking, lost in their own thoughts. Finally Severus spoke again, "You witnessed a few of my memories in our prior attempts at Occlumency, enough to form an assumption on my childhood. Your assumption would be correct; my father disliked the fact that my mother and I had power he did not. At the time they married my mother promised never to use her magic on him, and he took advantage of that and beat her. In the beginning it was only when he was intoxicated, which was infrequent. However, such things always progress. My mother forbid me from interfering, fearing what he would do to me if I should."

Harry sat quietly. He had known Snape's father was violent, and it had to be awful not to be able to help your mum. He didn't voice his thoughts, however; he just sat smoking, afraid if he did anything else Snape would stop speaking. "My mother died when I was nine, and I was sent to live with my mother's parents. The Prince family is an old pure-blood family; my grandparents were appalled when their only daughter married a Muggle and treated me accordingly. They took me in and provided only the bare necessities. They paid for my education, but no extras."

Severus paused to light another cigarette. Speaking of his childhood was painful; he normally tried to forget that period of his life completely. "I tell you this not for your pity, but so that when I say I understand, you will believe me. Never be ashamed, Potter, for you have no cause. Not for how you were raised − those filthy Muggles bear that shame. As my father and grandparents bear the shame for my childhood. While it cannot be erased, it can be overcome, and forgotten."

Snape hadn't said a lot, but Harry could read between the lines. Snape's grandparents sounded a lot like the Dursleys, unable to tolerate anyone who did not fit their ideals. "I understand," he murmured.

"Good. That said, I'm turning in. Don't forget to clear your mind. Sleep well, Potter." With that, Snape was gone.

Harry called Dobby to clean up and headed upstairs, thinking about what Snape had revealed. Just when I think I understand the man he does something completely unpredictable. Why would he tell me all that? I'm glad he did, I understand him a little better. Was he trying to be fair? He saw my worst memories so he told me about his childhood in exchange? The more I get to know Snape the more we have in common. Merlin, I hope I don't turn into a grouchy git; the vocabulary would be nice though, was Harry's last thought before sleep took him.