Titled: Pain in my heart chapter 10
Author: curseofavalon
Rating: R (just to make sure)
Summary: He went way too far

Authors Note: comments, reviews and critique are very welcome.
Pairing: Huddy
Disclaimer: I don't own House or its characters Fox does tho, I just used them shamelessly for this snippet.

The night air was crisp and chilly, smelling of salt and sea grass, stars above glimmering on the endless sky. Lisa sat slumped in one of the wooden recliners gazing at the ocean and trying to figure out what was going on with her. She didn't even know what had possessed her to run from the room like she had, she only knew when he had asked she felt a deep dread to talk or even think about anything non holiday related.

It was getting colder the longer she sat in her nightgown, with no further protection from the breeze but going in right now, back to him was no option, not before she hadn't calmed her thoughts and ordered them.

What had been on his mind when he said it? Could she believe he meant it like the plea it sounded like?

'Tell me you're not only using me for the holidays.'

Was it that? Was she only using him for leisure time, to get away from her stressy real life where she was unable to just think about forming a relationship? Was it like Don had said?

Am I someone else around House?

The thought hunted Lisa. It meant she would never really be free. Free of him and the pain he inflicted. Free of him and the anger he made her feel. But also free of him and the bliss he created for them. She had never been one to be stopped easily, always pursued the goals she had set herself. Michigan grad school, being best in class, becoming Dean of medicine. But since he had tumbled into her life everything had become difficult.

House had made it hard for her, always did and always will. She still remembered their first meeting like it had been yesterday. It was decades ago, at Michigan and it had altered her life forever, sometimes making her wish it had never had happened.

.:.flashback.:.

The fourth semester had started just a day ago and Lisa was already so stressed that she ran late.

Bag slung over her back she ran towards the lecture hall hoping she had only missed the welcome backs the professors usually indulged in in the first week.

She criss crossed the lawn hoping to save a few seconds, she almost felt relieved until a heavy mass crashed into her full force, knocking her breath out of her and ricocheting her backwards. Lisa landed on her back, air whooshing out of her together with a string of well placed curses until she felt the dead weight land on her.

'FUCK !!! '

A male voice cursed above her.

'Were you trying to kill me you...'

She opened her eyes to glare at him making him stop his anger tirade immediately.

'Its not my fault you're too stupid to watch where you're going idiot.'

She pushed him of here roughly and shuffled to her feet. Her bag had spilled its contents and she had to collect them, trying to be as fast as possible. The guy still sat on the ground watching her as she attempted to gather everything back up.

Lisa looked over at him annoyed.

'No thanks I don't need your help.'

It was huffed and with a jerk she closed the zipper of the bag once more.

'You know the coffee on your shirt really brings out your red lace bra underneath.'

She looked down at herself horrified, a huge brown slosh soaking her shirt making it half see through. Lisa folded her arms across her chest only making him grin harder. She couldn't go to the lecture like this, but missing a lecture meant a whole lot of trouble. Her mind was racing over the possibilities as a sweater was tossed at her. Looking at him dumbfounded she found herself greeted with another smirk before he turned and got his bag and then walked away.

'You owe me coffee.'

He threw over his shoulder before breaking out in another jog, probably being late himself.

.:.flashback end.:.

Their first meeting, had she only known which impact he would have on her life. Sometimes finding herself thinking about how it would be if she had only been on time that day, maybe the troubles wouldn't have been as many, then shaking off such thoughts. House had also given her a lot. Not as much as he gave her trouble but still she knew wit was worth it somehow.

So what now? Was he worth giving up everything she had build over the years, for a fling, maybe more, maybe less? Should she end it or restrain whatever it was to the holidays? Would it end like it had with Stacy, with only pain and anger left behind?

Lisa sighed and put her head in her hands, shivering hard. Thinking about it made her head hurt, and if she was true to herself she didn't want to. Right now it felt right and good and earth shattering and all those other good things that come with a heated affair.

Her teeth clattered and Lisa realized she would have to go in sooner die from pneumonia. Well that considered to facing House, with all her insecurities and as he would call it stupid woman thoughts, seemed rather optimistic.

House had watched her from the patio doorway for minutes. Just observing. She was deep in thought, biting her lower lip like she usually did when a decision had to be made she didn't like making. She was shivering and rubbing her arms unconsciously, while her mind was miles away.

'Tell me you're not only using me for the holidays.'

It was idiotic and held a destructive streak, but that was what had made it so fitting.

Saying it so you wouldn't have to deal with the questions yourself. Let her deal and make the decisions. Well after all you are a wuss.

Mentally slapping himself he walked towards her, deciding that he had to deal with it whatever way he could. So he softly draped a sweater he found in her drawer over her shoulders to warm her a little.

'I don't know why I bolted and I don't know where this...us...is heading or where it should be heading. I came here with every intention of ridding you from my life. So far I've just suceeded in having hours of sex with you with the usual in between fights.'

Sitting down behind her he helped her get into the sweater for the first time getting a good look at it, then breaking out into a grin.

'You still owe me that coffee you know.'

He engulfed her in a hug, making Lisa lean against his chest.

'I owe you nothing. You ran into me, ruined my shirt and made me the gossip of my semester.'

House chuckled at that. She was right, he had told everyone who saw her with his shirt that she hadn't found her shirt that morning and he lent her his after their night of abundant love making.

The girls in her semester had turned whispering each time she rounded the corner, guys whistling after her.

Lisa had been hugely annoyed, gone to him and demanded he'd clear things up. Instead she went to a football game with him, sitting next to him eating corn dogs and all the other crap she usually had stayed away from. Slowly he had weened his way into her heart and by the end of the semester they had become close friends and she felt a crush building.

'Lets stick with going day by day. I don't know what I want or need Lisa. This, us, it's comfortable, breath taking and relaxing all in one. I've forgotten how much fun we could be.'

Greg kissed her temple softly willing her and his insecurities away.

'I don't know Greg...'