Sorry it took so long… I was enjoying the school break and at the same time my writer's block was driving me insane! But don't worry, I'm back now! I'll make it up to you with an explosion of the next succeeding chapters, okay? So, some of you might ask… What's the cure for my Writer's Block? Spending a night in bed with Kakashi, of course!
JIRAIYA: Hey, what about me?
GAI: And me!!!
ME: (Gets Monthly Planner from pocket) Jiraiya's gonna be my bedmate next month… And Gai, the month after that!
YOU: Wow… You have a schedule… (THE HELL!?)
Chapter 17- Bitter, not Sweet! (A Chappie dedicated to comedy!)
As the two continued yelling at one another, smoke bombs suddenly hit the ground and exploded. Soon enough, the whole place was filled with annoying purple smoke.
"Aww, shit… What now?" Shikamaru coughed.
"I dunno, but don't think I'll forget about this fight!" Ino said, "We'll continue discussing things after this… This… Oh, whatever this is!"
Then, as the smoke slowly began to dissolve, they found their dads standing in the middle of the living room, posing as colorful lights danced around the place. Carrying red roses in their hands, they began to chant…
SHIKAKU: Prepare for trouble…
INOICHI: Make it double!
SHIKAKU: To protect the world from devastation!
INOICHI: To unite all peoples within our nation!
SHIKAKU: To denounce the evils of truth and love…
INOICHI: To extend our reach to the stars above!
SHIKAKU: Shikaku!
INOICHI: Inoichi!
SHIKAKU: Ino-Shika-Cho, blast off with the speed of light!
INOICHI: Tell us dear children, the cause of your fight!
CHOJI: (pops in from nowhere) CHOJI, that's right!
"Um… What the hell are they doing?" Shikamaru asked as he stared at the three idiots in Team Rocket uniforms.
"Well," Ino replied, "Whatever it is they're up to, it's not really helping us at all…"
"Yeah…"
"Hey, um, Shikamaru, wasn't the line supposed to be Surrender now, or prepare to fight, not Tell us dear children, the cause of your fight?"
"Why yes, if I remember correctly, that is exactly right…"
"Enough with that. Don't you know just how hard it was to rehearse those lines over and over again?" Choji interrupted.
AKIRA KUROSAWA: Cut! That was great! Let's take five, okay?
CREW: Yes, Kurosawa-sama!
(Canned laughter)
"Okay, now where'd Akira Kurosawa come from?" Shikamaru asked, "Or better yet, what are you three all doing here just in the middle of our fight? You have absolutely no respect for privacy! You're not supposed to be messing in other people's business, especially not in those ridiculous Team Rocket outfits, reciting those ridiculous lines!!!"
JESSIE AND JAMES: How dare you make fun of us like that!
SHIKAMARU: GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE!!! Wait, how'd you get in here anyway!?
JAMES: Beats me! The author just suddenly put us here!
SHIKAMARU: Aw, for crying out loud! GET OUT!!! And take your stupid Meowth with ya!
MEOWTH: Who ya callin' stupid eh, buster!?
SHIKAMARU: GEEEEEEEET OOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!
JESSIE: Alright! Alright! We're leaving! Sheesh, you need Anger Management classes!
Okay, enough of that…
"We heard the two of you fighting." Inoichi told them, "Aww, come on, you guys! Only five days 'til your big wedding and you're fighting like this! Don't tell me we're calling it off,"
"Yes, and if I'm not mistaken, this is your second fight!" Choji said, "Just think of how poor little me would feel knowing that his two bestest friends in the world are fighting! You know what, I'm gonna cry if this keeps up. You two are getting married, for heaven's sake!"
Darn, there they go… Scolding us again… Shikamaru thought.
This is annoying… They should just get back to masturbating themselves… Ino told herself, Darn… Why should they even care? This is our problem, not theirs!
"Oh, there you two go again! Crossing your arms, not minding each other and thinking that the three of us should just get back to masturbating ourselves!" Shikaku said.
"Umm… I wasn't the one who secretly said that in my mind, okay?" Shikamaru said as he pointed at Ino, "She was the one you three should get back to your masturbation instead of even taking part in this."
"At least I'm not the one so obsessed with his job…" Ino muttered.
"WHAT WAS THAT JUST NOW?" Shikamaru yelled, "Do you want me to slap you in the face like I did when I thought you and Sai were dating?"
"Do you want me to run away again because I was so hurt when I thought you loved Temari more than me!?" Ino yelled back, "I could right now, you know!"
"Oh, god make them stop!" Choji yelled even louder, "I hate it when you shout at each other like that! It's like I don't even know you anymore!"
"Well, like it or not, you do know us, okay?" Ino told him.
"Haha. Very funny." Shikamaru said sarcastically.
"OKAY! OKAY! Enough of this already!" Shikaku said, breaking them up, "I want to get to the bottom of this, okay? Ino, tell us your side of the story… Why are you mad at my son?"
"Well…"
"He was with another woman?"
"No,"
"You caught him in the bathroom masturbating, right?"
"Nope, that was dad…"
INOICHI: (blushes) Eheheh… Don't kids say the darnest things?
"Well, why are you mad at him?"
Angrily, she looked at Shikamaru and answered… "That man is SO obsessed with his work that he doesn't even have any time for me anymore!"
"Now, don't you think that's a bit too shallow, Ino?" Choji asked, "OOH! Chips!!!"
"Yes, Ino." Inoichi added, "Don't you think that's a pretty shallow reason for getting mad at Shikamaru like this? Sometimes, you could be so possessive you'd always want attention from other people."
"WELL, that's how I am, dad!" Ino replied, "That's how I am! I love a person, I want him, I want him noticing me, all the time! He- Shikamaru should know that if he really wants to marry me, he should be willing enough to spend the rest of his darn life with me, pampering me, giving me what I want and paying attention to me!"
"This is gonna be a long night…"
"Want some chips?"
"No thanks. I'm kinda full at the moment…" then, Inoichi continued lecturing her, "Darling, I know you want the best in a relationship… But when you're committed to someone, you should know that your partner also has some other important things he has to take care of! Love shouldn't be the center of everyone's life, okay? You still have your health, your job, and other stuff like that…"
Ino tried hard not to listen. She sat down on the sofa and crossed her arms and legs. "Hmph." She grunted, "Then if Shikamaru has some other things to take care of, he never should've saved me from the stripper bar in the first place!"
"Stripper bar?" Inoichi said, surprised. "Is there something I need to know? What about the stripper bar? What were you doing there, Ino?"
Oh darn. I forgot. Dad knew nothing about me being a stripper… Ino thought.
"I-it's nothing, dad." She said, "It's nothing."
"Nothing? That doesn't sound like nothing!" Inoichi told her with his voice raising, "Don't tell me that before you ended up here, you were giving your body to several other men so that they could take advantage of you and so you could make a profit!"
Ino suddenly started crying. "It was the only job available! I wasn't cut out to become a waitress! I was clumsy and I always got drunk! I couldn't reopen the family flower shop due to lack of funds! And, and I couldn't teach kids at all, dad! They're afraid of me! I lose my temper so easily!"
"Then if that's the way it is, I guess you couldn't raise our child either, huh?" Shikamaru said, "Maybe you'd just lose your temper on him, and our kid runs away from home!"
"That's not what I'm saying!" Ino said, "Shut up! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!!"
"Ino, I am very disappointed in you!" Inoichi said. Slowly, he began marching towards his daughter and slaps her on the face. Ino drops to the floor and weeps there, with her tears falling all over the carpeted floor.
Okay, the comedy part's over folks, this is drama!
"Okay, Shikamaru, it's your turn." Inoichi said, "Tell us why you're angry at Ino, though I already know a million reasons why…"
"A million reasons for being mad at Ino?" Shikamaru replied, "That's a little bit too much… But anyway, I am mad at her because I am totally sick of her always wanting attention from me! I am a very busy man, so she should understand that I couldn't always make out with her every night! She should understand that I also have a job that I must continue doing, so that I can continue earning money for the future! I try my best to show her how important my job is to the contribution of our family plans, but she just doesn't see it!
"I spend hours and hours working in an office and it's really hard being away from her for so many hours! But I forget all about the pain because I see that I need to invest money for future plans! I am working my heart out, breaking my back and straining my eyes because I love her! I don't want us to end-up in cardboard boxes!"
Then, looking at Ino, he ends his statement. "I know I should be giving importance to you. But what's gonna happen if we keep on making-out every night? If I forget about my job and slack-off on my responsibilities, our child might suffer from not having a proper nutrition, a proper home and proper education! We might lose everything, you know."
Then, he knelt down before Ino and put his finger under her chin. "Don't worry, I'm not forgetting about you. Sometimes, you think the craziest things. I could never forget you! It's just that… The client is offering a huge sum of money and I thought…
"I could use the money to get you a nice wedding present… There, I blew it. But if it's the only way to stop you from throwing me across the floor, sure, why not."
Slowly, Ino stopped crying. Feeling guilty, she threw herself at Shikamaru and held him tight. "There, there." He said, rubbing her back. "Don't worry, I forgive you… You get jealous too easily!"
"I-I'm sorry!!!" she cried, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!!"
"Okay! Okay! I forgive you already!" Shikamaru said, "Now stop crying. It'll ruin your makeup…"
"Well, I see this fight is over…" Shikaku said, "So, what have you cooked us for dinner, huh, future daughter-in-law?"
With a smile, Ino stood up and replied, "I've made curry for us tonight!"
And with everyone happy, they all went to the dining area to have dinner. The fight was over and the two lovers made-up. Hoping for no more fights to come their way, they try to spend the next four days before the wedding much sweeter. Ino promised she wouldn't get jealous too easily and Shikamaru promised to not strain himself much in work. These are the promises they made before their big wedding… Will they be able to keep them?