Lorelai sat at the counter the next morning, analyzing the diagram Luke made for her to study. It was a picture of a simple baseball diamond, with the positions of the players written in their designated spaces. Simple as it was to Luke, it was just as foreign to Lorelai. Why was there a guy off to the side with the letters "DH" next to him, and why were there two diagrams of the same thing, but one without the random, off to the side guy? It was a mystery to Lorelai.
She sipped her coffee, giving an honest effort and attempting to learn the player positions. But something just wasn't coming for her. She flipped the paper over and moaned in self-pity, putting her head down on the diagram.
"What's the problem?" Luke asked.
Lorelai moaned louder. "Problem? Try problems. Plural. First, there is no decoding key, so I don't know what "DH" stands for. Second, there are two diagrams, but they are slightly different. I don't know what the difference is. Finally, I'll forget it all come next week!"
Luke grunted. "I knew you'd flake out on me. You swore you wouldn't but it's impossible."
Lorelai pouted. "Another chance, Luke? Just pity me a little. Humor me and give me a decoding device so I can try to figure out what the heck is going on here?"
Luke took a napkin and began writing on it. He handed it to Lorelai, who smiled and spread the napkin out in front of her, trying again to learn the locations of the bases. Now that she had her key, she would be all set.
"Designated hitter? Luke? Oh Luke, what's a designated hitter?" Lorelai called, twisting to make eye contact.
"Lorelai, look, just try to remember what the positions are, and then I'll explain what they do. Got it?"
Lorelai groaned. "Luke! Do you want to be seen at the ballpark with a woman who has no knowledge of sports, whatsoever, and be totally and completely embarrassed? I really don't think you do. I don't think you'd appreciate your friend cheering for the opposite team, especially those darn… wait, who are we playing again?"
"The Yankees. It's the New York Yankees, Lorelai."
"Yeah, you wouldn't appreciate me cheering for them."
Luke rolled his eyes. "No, Lorelai, I wouldn't. But in order to prevent the non Red Sox related cheering, you have to learn the player positions so I can explain the rest of the game to you. Then, you will be able to tell when to cheer, when to stand, when to throw your hat on the ground in frustration… and when to brace yourself for them to break your heart."
Lorelai turned around to face Luke. "The Red Sox break your heart?"
Luke sighed. "Look, Lorelai, whenever they screw up, they royally screw up. It's humanly impossible for them to catch a break, on anything. And it's all because of Babe Ruth."
"Oh, so they've caused you a lot of heartache, huh? Kind of like me and my love life… no Dear Abby can fix that," Lorelai giggled.
She turned around again and attempted to study some more. If she crammed enough to pass her business class, she could cram enough to get through a few days in Boston. She took another sip of coffee, rubbed her temples and sighed as she repeated the meaningless letters in her head.
Lorelai had just gotten the infield down when she realized that she had to leave for work, and fast, because she was just about to be late enough to miss out on Sookie's newest menu idea. She walked toward the front desk, shoving the clutter on it aside, and put her pieces of paper side by side, resting her chin in her hand as she studied.
"What on Earth are you looking at?" Michel barked from behind her.
"It's a baseball diamond. I'm learning where each player stands and what their job is so I can be smart when I go to the Red Sox game next week," Lorelai said, without looking up.
"It looks like something a kindergarten child drew with his eyes closed."
"That's not the point, Michel. I'm trying to learn something so I can make Luke happy. This is for Luke, not for anyone else… for Luke." Lorelai interrupted.
Michel rolled his eyes. "I haven't the slightest idea why you are attempting to do something for grumpy diner man. He hasn't tried to learn anything about you, has he?"
Lorelai stood up. "For your information, Michel, he has. He's tried to understand me, and Rory, for the past… a lot of years. Since we first met him, he has been really, really good to us. He's done a lot of things that he didn't have to do, but did anyway because he cared about us. Now, I am attempting to return the favor, but all I hear is an annoying French man babbling behind me. If you'll excuse me, I have to do some research on what a "designated hitter" is."
Michel backed away, unable to comment, and seemingly pitying himself for the tongue-lashing he just got from Lorelai. As she watched him step back, Lorelai tried to comprehend the entire tirade she just gave Michel. She had just defended Luke, and vigorously.
After Lorelai mastered the positions of the baseball diamond, she looked up, checking to make sure no one was in need of assistance, and logged on to the Red Sox web site. She decided she was going to impress Luke, and she was going to learn which Red Sox player played each position. This was payback for all the times he went above and beyond for her and Rory.
Lorelai grabbed a ruler and made a new, more organized (and colorful) baseball diamond. She colored the grass green, and the dirt brown. She left the bases white and drew a bright yellow foul pole exactly as the picture showed. She took a black sharpie and wrote in the names of the players next to their respective positions.
"Wow, there's a lot more than ten names here," Lorelai thought out loud as she tried to place the appropriate names in the appropriate spaces. "Jason Varitek… catcher… catcher is behind home plate, so there's Jason. Wait, how is Doug
Mirabelli catcher if Jason Varitek is catcher? Which one goes behind home plate?"
Just then Lorelai's cell phone began to ring. She fumbled for it in her purse and analyzed her diagram at the same time.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Hey, mom! Listen, Paris is really getting on my last nerve right now, do you have a minute to tell me an amusing story, or do a bit, or something? I need my spirits lifted," Rory said from the other line.
"I'm no Charlie Chaplain, but I'll sure try. So, I was at the DAR thing the other night…"
Rory gasped. "Oh, yeah, that's right! How did that go? Did you finally win the makeover basket?"
Lorelai sighed. "No, but I did win the Grand Prize, which has given me a whole new outlook on Luke Danes."
"You're going to have to explain that one," Rory suggested.
"Well, kid, I won tickets to a Red Sox game. And a whole bunch of other stuff I didn't know what to do with. So, I brought it all to Luke. And he totally opened up to me, telling me all about his past, and his dad, and all sorts of other stuff no one really knows. So I'm taking him to a game next week, and I promised him I'd learn about baseball for him."
"Wow, Mom, that's really nice of you. He must appreciate that, even though he won't admit it," Rory replied.
Lorelai smiled. "Yeah, I mean, after all he's done for us, can't I do something for him? And besides, its kind of sweet, seeing Luke become passionate over something. That's really rare. Anyway, I have a question for you. If there are two catchers, and I have to pick one, how do I eliminate? By number, or by hotness factor?"
"Well, when you go to the game, don't you want to know who's played more games? One guy might be a backup in case the other gets hurt."
"This is why Rory Gilmore is so smart. And funny, the hotter one is the guy with more games played."
"Works both ways, then," Rory giggled.
"Absolutely, my friend. Hey, listen, what should I pack for the trip? I don't know what the weather is like in Boston."
"Mom, the weather in Boston is the same as it is here, just pack what you would normally wear. And besides, it's not like Boston is a city without shopping. They have this place called Newbury Street that I've heard is really good. And make sure you hit the restaurants in the North End, they're the best. And Faneuil Hall definitely has some good stuff, too."
"What are you, a walking travel guide?"
"Google is my best friend. He and I have had some wonderful times together, and we kind of have an understanding. He helps me out a lot. He'd be happy to do the same for you, mom."
"Who's to say Google isn't a girl?" Lorelai said, pencilling in 'Jason Varitek' behind home plate on her diagram.
"Who knows. I think Google is unisex, so I just used the male pronoun. If Google was a country, I think I'd use 'she', as I would if Google was a ship!" Rory teased.
"Too much for my brain to handle right now. Wow, this guy is very hairy."
"Mom? I am so confused right now," Rory said.
"Me too. I hope I helped cure the Paris headache," Lorelai said.
"You did. Now you've gotten me on a Googling frenzy. I'll send you any good sites I find about Boston. Maybe you can do up a little itinerary for Luke. He'd like that," Rory suggested.
"Again, your intelligence is thoroughly admirable. I'll talk to you later, sweets."
"Thanks Mom," Rory said.
Lorelai continued to place the players in their proper spaces on the imaginary baseball diamond when she got a brilliant idea.