Disclaimer: Lihau still does not own the Teen Titans or any related characters or objects.

KF Note: This is the last chapter of my story! Not the last chapter of the Uninspired Tales: Just the last chapter of "The Wrath of Batman". Please read, review, and, above all, enjoy!

The Wrath of Batman

or

Falling: An Unfortunately Very True Story

PART FIVE

By Kid Flash

"Am not!"

"Are so."

"Am not!"

"Are so."

"Amnotamnotamnotamnotam—!"

"ARE. SO."

Ah. The sounds of me and Robin fighting. How mature.

And scary. For someone who goes around in underwear and a cape that closely resemble the colors of a traffic light, the Boy Wonder could be painfully intimidating when he wanted to be. "Painfully" because he ended up literally twisting my arm behind my back to convince me to tell Batman that I'd found the Batcave.

Oh, right—you don't know when this is. Heh. Oops. This was the morning after Speedy and I had nearly blackmailed Batman with a fuzzy pen. If you have no idea of what I'm talking about here, please just read the last chapter. It's too painful to explain again.

Anyway, Robin, my EX-friend, was marching me down to the satellite's lab, where Batman was probably doing some weirdo chemical analysis thing.

Hm… maybe that would be how Batman would kill me—some sort of poison or chemical thing. Let's see… there was arsenic, carbon monoxide, or the ever-popular blowing-up of the unfortunately flammable guy with nitroglycerin.

All three sounded like a barrel of laughs. No, that was nitrous oxide, I think.

Let's just put it bluntly: All options stunk. There.

Speaking of "there", there it was: the JLA Satellite Lab.

"Um, I gotta, uh, go someplace," I suddenly decided, pulling back as Robin attempted to drag me forward.

"Yeah. You do. The lab." And with one last, mighty tug, I'd been flung forth into the fiery furnace.

Try saying that three times fast. I can. Insert smug grin here.

Skidding to a stop about one foot away from the Dark Knight, I managed, "Eh… hi?"

The only reply I got was a dark, dark, dark, really dark stare.

Robin stepped in then, prompting, "I think Kid Flash has something to tell you, Batman."

More indubitably dark staring at me.

"Yeah-yeah," I agreed quickly. "But, um, it can really wait. Yeah. It can wait! About ten years…"

"Now," the Boy Wonder ordered.

Great. Now two people were giving me that dark-dark-dark stare. You'd think that these guys would learn that staring murderously at people doesn't help matters. Sure, it scares the stare-ee, but as for making 'em talk… not the best technique.

Sighing, Robin decided, "Fine. We'll do fill-in-the-blanks. Kid Flash 'blank'-ed the 'blank'. Now. KF. What do you think that first 'blank' should be?"

"Um… found?" I squeaked.

"Good. The second blank?"

…

"You know what that second blank should be, right?" Robin said, very slowly to make sure that I got the message.

I nodded.

"Good," he said. "Then just put it all together. Slowly."

After a couple of rushed 'please-don't-kill-me's, I said as slowly as I could manage, "I found-ed the Batcave."

Despite the grammar screw-up that came from using Robin's fill-in-the-blank sentence down to the T, I think the Bat understood. He stared a while longer before speaking, and he said, "I know."

"Please-don't-kill—wha?" I blinked.

"Huh?" Robin echoed my surprise.

"I know," Batman repeated. "Did you think I didn't?"

Robin nodded silently and I wondered, "How'd ya…?"

"Really, Kid Flash. Robin, I'm surprised at you. Did you think that I wouldn't have a few security cameras around?"

The walking traffic light dropped his head, slapping himself upside the head with one hand.

I stuttered, "Th-then h-how come I'm still alive?"

The Dark Knight put several questions to me. "Are you familiar with the Gotham City area?"

"Uh-uh."

"Do you know who lives just outside the city?"

"N-no."

"Do you think you could find your way there again?"

"I—" I stopped short. "No…"

"Then why should I kill you?"

I smiled goofily in relief. I wasn't gonna get killed!

"…Unless you find it again."

My smile disappeared promptly and I vowed hurriedly, "I-won'-do-it-again! I-promise—I-I-swear-I-won't!"

"Make sure you don't." And Batman turned back to his test tubes, commenting, "Robin, tonight we'll be reviewing all security technology that we use."

Robin nodded dejectedly—probably thinking about the looooooong night he had ahead of him—before he and I left the lab, finding Speedy outside.

"So, when ya gonna tell him?" the archer asked as the lab door slid shut behind us.

"I did," I stated.

"He did," confirmed Robin glumly. He grinned weakly. "Think I'll get a head start on that review. See ya next year." So he walked off to start his studying.

Speedy, meanwhile, was still just standing there, clearly dumbstruck by our announcement. He finally said, "But… you did?"

"Uh-huh," I bobbed my head up and down.

"But… but I don't see any blood."

I explained, "He knew that I'd found the Batcave the whole time."

"Oh." The Californian shrugged. "Sounds like a Batman-like thing to do. Well," he continued, "now that it's all over—" Here he grinned evilly. "—how 'bout you show me the Batcave?"

"Nooooo way!"

Looking decidedly disappointed, Speedy demanded, "Aw, why not?"

"I told Batman that I forgot where it was," I stated.

"You told him?" repeated Speedy. He smirked again. "You lied to him?"

"Only to keep from gettin' my head ripped off," I defended myself, starting down the hall on my way to the cafeteria.

"So you know where it is?" he pressed, following me.

"I think—no," I quickly changed my mind, shaking my head rapidly. "I don't remember. I'm gonna forget."

"If you're gonna forget," pointed out the archer, "that means you still remember. So c'mon." He smiled wider. "Show me just once, really fast. You know—before you forget."

"Nonononononononononono—NO!" I started shaking my head again. "I'm not gonna show ya!" That said, I dashed off for the cafeteria, my favorite place on the satellite.

Ah, the cafeteria! There it was! My home away from my home away from home, which can be loosely translated as the cafeteria being my home away from the Flash's quarters on the satellite, which is my first home away from home.

If that confused you… you're not alone. That even confused me. So I'd better sign off before I confuse myself anymore.

I know this is a lame ending, but if I don't end it right now this story will probably last another ten or twelve chapters, and my fingers already hurt from typing all this. Maybe that's just because I spilled some soda on the keyboard and got it all sticky, but… enough sidetracking!

This is the end. The END I say!

The End

Thank you.