Technically, Derek Shepherd had the day off. There were no surgeries scheduled for him, and he wasn't even on call. But here he was, working at Seattle Grace on a Sunday afternoon, all because he wanted to ride the ferry in with his girlfriend – not just today, but everyday. He rationalized it as being an opportunity to check on some patients and catch up on writing and paperwork, but even he had to admit that his motives were fairly transparent. The best he could do was spend the day out of Meredith's way so she didn't figure out that he was working extra for the sole purpose of synchronizing their schedules. She would hate that.
Derek spent the morning hiding in his office, organizing some research for an article he was writing. His blinds were closed, but the harsh fluorescent lighting of the small room with his name on the door still managed to escape into the hallway, notifying passers-by of his presence. Consequently, he wasn't too shocked when a knock came on his door.
"Come in," Derek yelled abruptly, trying to convey a sense of being too busy for visitors when in reality, he welcomed the distraction. He never particularly enjoyed writing; he merely tolerated it.
"Did you forget that you have the day off?" Richard Webber asked while walking into the office. He regarded the massive piles of paper surrounding the periphery of Derek's desk with disdain. It was unclear to Derek whether he was frowning at the mess or simply just reminded of the mass of paperwork waiting on his own desk.
"I know, I'm just still trying to catch up on a few things. And why aren't you home with Adele?" Derek retorted, trying to change the subject.
"Because when I tried to retire, you wouldn't let me," Richard replied, settling into a chair across from Derek.
Derek smiled and nodded. He wondered if this would be a frequent topic of conversation between them this year…if anytime the chief became frustrated, Derek would automatically be partly to blame. He certainly hoped not.
"Derek, this isn't working for me, and I don't want to beg," Richard sighed, his hands clenched together on his lap.
"What are you talking about?" Derek asked. He leaned back in his chair and rocked back and forth a little, anxious to hear where this was going.
"I know you don't want to be chief yet, and I know, deep down, that I'm not quite ready to leave. But at some point, we both need to make this transition…"
"So what are you saying?" Derek began rapping his thumbs nervously against the arms of his chair, creating a drum line for a song only he could hear.
"I want you to become co-chief. We can split the responsibilities some so that you get the experience you need for the job, and I get the occasional break from running everything," Richard declared firmly.
"You're serious?" Derek asked, slightly in awe.
"I am very serious. I was expecting to be retired by now, and I'm not getting younger. I was shocked when you turned down the first offer. Don't do that to me again, Derek. We both know that this is the right career move for both of us." Richard stood back up, as if he wasn't even interested in hearing Derek's response. It was just a given.
"Can I think about this?" Derek ran his hands up through his dark curls, considering the proposition.
"You need to think about this? If it's money, we'll renegotiate your salary, of course," Richard countered impatiently.
"It's not that. I just…well…I want to run it by Meredith before I commit to anything," Derek admitted.
Richard's demeanor softened a bit at the mention of Ellis Grey's daughter.
"Okay, I understand. Just don't take too long…and don't come back and tell me no." Richard responded. "Seriously, Derek. I want you to have this job. I know I expressed doubts before, but I think it's best for both of us." He paused and looked at Derek, trying to come up with the words to explain his change of heart. "If I had chosen Ellis…" he started. His eyes grew very serious for a moment – reflective even. "Well, Adele and Ellis just weren't the same. I don't regret my decision to stay with Adele, but I know that being chief would have been easier if I had been with Ellis. You could be a good husband to Meredith and still be chief, Derek. It could work for you."
"I'm just working on boyfriend for now," Derek sighed.
"I know, but just…learn to balance your career with your love life…I'm offering you a test run for that, Derek. I wish a similar opportunity had been afforded to me."
"Thank you for this offer, Richard. I'm definitely going to consider it," Derek expressed calmly, doing everything he could to contain the excitement welling beneath the surface. He was dying to share the news of this compromise opportunity with Meredith. Based on her reaction this morning, he expected she would be thrilled for him.
Richard nodded and left, closing the door behind him.
Derek leaned back further in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. He wondered how much time he needed to wait for the chief to clear the area before he paged Meredith. Would ten seconds be too soon?
Derek paced his office a couple times, working off some excess energy, and finally set out for the second floor. If he didn't bump into Meredith along the way, he could have her paged from the nurse's station down there. He moved briskly, but tried to maintain his composure as much as possible. To anyone who didn't know better, Dr. Shepherd could merely be rushing to respond to a 9-1-1 page. He took the stairs quickly, nearly stumbling at one point, and walked onto the floor. A quick scan of the area didn't reveal her, so he turned towards the nurse's station.
"Derek?" a familiar voice called nervously behind him.
Derek spun around at the sound of his name, only to see Thatcher Grey walking awkwardly towards him.
Derek froze, a cyclone of conflicting emotions spinning inside him. His jubilance gave way to something much darker, and he immediately felt defensive, combative, and anxious. He fought down the residual rage he felt over seeing Thatcher strike Meredith after Susan's death, and he smiled as politely as possible.
"Thatcher," Derek stammered, uncertain what to do next. "What brings you here?"
"Oh, well, I…" he began self-consciously. His eyes darted towards the floor and then back up again as he played nervously with the keys in his pockets. He suddenly noticed a figure in the distance walking toward him, and he relaxed slightly.
Derek followed his gaze and saw Lexie bouncing toward them, full of energy. She only slowed slightly when she noticed that her father was talking to someone, and then she slowed a little more when she realized that someone was Dr. Shepherd. Her eyes furrowed with concern and confusion as she finally approached.
"Hi, Dad, are you ready for lunch?" she asked cautiously while leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.
"Yeah," he responded. "I was just talking to Der…Dr. Shepherd."
She looked at both men skeptically. "You two know each other?"
Derek nodded, still at a loss for words. The three stood in painful silence for a moment, until Thatcher finally paused in his fidgeting.
"How's Meredith?" he whispered in a voice that was barely audible.
Derek's eyes narrowed and his arms started to quiver slightly. He folded them in front of him abruptly as he felt the pent up anger releasing through his body in the form of heightened levels of adrenaline.
"You have no right to ask me about her," he stated coldly.
Thatcher stepped back slightly in shock while Lexie's jaw dropped beside him.
"You don't get to ask about Meredith. You have done far too much damage to her to get to show any interest now. You don't get to…" Derek continued, rage palpable through the strained syllables of his voice.
Thatcher nodded solemnly, his eyes brimming slightly with tears of regret. He turned around and walked slowly toward the elevator, completely silent.
Lexie stood staring at Derek, a look of shock painted on her face.
"What was that?" she asked angrily, her protective instincts kicking in as fiercely as Derek's.
"It's none of your business," Derek hissed back, still trying to calm himself.
"No, you just berated my father for asking you…you…about my sister. I think it is my business!" Lexie yelled loud enough for more than a couple nurses to look up from their charts.
Derek continued to stand rigidly, not sure how to respond.
Lexie continued studying him. Her skin flushed with anger, much like Meredith's when she got mad, but slowly the pink undertones went white.
"Oh, god, she's the one, isn't she…the relationship you're in that made you say no at the bar…" Lexie stammered, realization setting in. "You're her boyfriend."
"I need to go," Derek grumbled before leaving Lexie standing alone in the corridor, still racked with disbelief.
Derek stormed past the nurse's station and back into a stairwell. He needed some time to cool off before he could try finding Meredith again. He couldn't see her like this. He paced around the floor momentarily before deciding to go down to the lobby coffee cart.
The white walls of the hospital passed in a blur. At best, they were a canvas for the scene repeatedly playing in his head – one of Thatcher slapping Meredith and sending her running. Derek had tried to go after her, but she didn't want him, and it had left him feeling stung and empty. He despised Thatcher in that moment, and any sympathy he felt for the weak and awkward man evaporated.
He purchased a strong cup of coffee and sunk into one of the chairs in the hospital atrium. Slow, deep breaths became the focus of his energy as he ignored the people around him, and he carefully sipped from the hot cup between each one. He'd feel better after he had some time to himself.