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Once the laughter had been quite thoroughly stifled by an indignant gunshot in the air from Jack Sparrow's pistol, the captain turned to a still chuckling William and thundered, "So! You're so damn smart... as th' former captain o' th' Flyin' Dutchman, YOU tell them t' go home!"
William put his hand over his sore, bandaged chest, and tried valiantly to compose himself. "They are hens, Jack. I learned many things upon the Dutchman, but speaking 'hen' was not one of them."
William and Elizabeth looked at the captain, earnestly, their eyes imploring him to see the humour in the situation. Seeing this, Jack looked at his young friends ... and realized, then, that he was being just a bit too touchy about the present dilemma that had unfolded itself.
"Well, William, I do not view meself as a rooster," Jack mused, but he brightened a bit, and added, "... but who am I to argue anyone, even hens, fallin' in love wif me, eh?" Elizabeth looked at him disdainfully, and William smirked a bit at the captain.
As Jack cleared his throat, he glanced at the onlooking crew, then said, "Do ye s'pose they only understand 'hen'? Spanish, perhaps? French?" Staring down his nose at the hens, he sniffed and said, "Parlez-vous francais?"
They all turned to regard the two little hens, who had both fluffed out their volumes of exotic long feathers and were now sunning themselves by sitting quietly on the warm deckboards. Their eyes still watched the captain.. they did not make a sound.
"I don't think that they would understand Spanish, French, or Irish Gaelic, Jack..." Elizabeth bit her lip at the captain's pout. It was his opinon that everyone should speak Gaelic. Elizabeth continued, her hands on her hips, "... we are in Singapore, but I really doubt that they even understand Chinese."
During her captaincy upon the Empress, and during her long stay upon the island in the China Sea, prior to being reunited with her husband and friends, Elizabeth had learned some phrases in several Chinese dialects. She leaned down and kindly spoke a few words to the hens... who showed no reaction. Looking back at Jack, Elizabeth shrugged helplessly.
It was then that Mr. Ragetti spoke up, a bit shyly, raising his hand slightly. He was most in awe of the captain, a bit intimidated, as it were, but was somewhat more confident since Jack had accompanied him to obtain his new glass eye in a shop that the captain knew about upon a Singapore back street. "... if I might make a suggestion, cap'n?"
Jack and the Turners turned to him, and Jack wondered which eye to look at. Rags continued, wringing his hands a bit, "... why don't we jus' keep 'em, Cap'n Jack? We could 'ave fresh eggs, sir... they wouldn't be any trouble... cap'n, sir... an' they're kind o' pretty, really..." Mr. Ragetti urged, stuttering nervously.
As if they could understand, the two subjects of conversation began to preen themselves.
Jack's eyes widened as he watched them do this, and he leaned back for a moment... glancing at the Turners, who were thinking this over and nodding enthusiastically, Jack looked at Mr. Gibbs, who was still recovering from his Singaporan hangover by rubbing his bleary eyes, and said, "Mr. Gibbs... could we, perhaps, find materials t' build some nesting boxes down in th' hold?" Jack tilted his head and waited for an answer, his hands resting languidly on the hilt of his sword.
Gibbs thought it over, and in a low voice so as not to aggravate the hammers that were building nesting boxes inside of his head, he replied, "I think that we have some wood scraps in the brig, cap'n... we have bales o' fresh straw tha' we could line 'em with... what do chickens eat, sir?" The thought of eating made him feel a bit sick, but it needed to be addressed, Gibbs reasoned..
"Corn." Jack said firmly. "We shall have t' go back t' th' marketplace an' obtain a ration o' corn. They eat corn, an'..."
... suddenly, as he was rather given to do, his eyes went blank and his wavering hands were stopped in midair... the Turners noticed this, and came forward with concern... an hallucination was overtaking him, as he was rather given to since being rescued from the Locker that had affected his mind so badly... he closed his eyes, and his hands went vaguely to his head for a moment... the crew murmered with a bit of trepidation, as there was no telling what would happen when the captain had one of his "spells"...
"... eggs... chicken?..." He was being overcome with a rather disconcerting visual that had left him quite shaken at the time that it had happened before. A visual of himself, clucking... and laying an egg! "...Then there was a goat, and...".
As William and Elizabeth each took one of his arms with worry, Jack shook himself all over so hard that every trinket upon his person rang like a small jingling bell. He mysteriously rubbed his rear end a bit, his dark owl-like eyes unfocused and struggling to look around, clearly. The Turners stared searchingly at him.
"Oooo... I hate when that happens... ye'd think I was mad, or something..." Jack grumbled, as he nodded reassuringly at William and Elizabeth, who were still watching him closely.
The captain looked down upon the pair of hens, who had stopped preening and were looking up at him, expectantly. William's face eased into a look of relief, as Jack was acting a bit more normal... which was a stretch for his friend, in any case.
Seeing that every member of the crew was still raptly watching their captain, Jack had finally had enough. "All o' ye! Back t' work! Be quick about it, we are settin' sail tomorrow mornin' an' th' Caribbean waits for us!" Jack barked out the orders in his husky voice... as the crewmen scrambled back to their duties, still glancing over their shoulder with curiosity, the hens stood straight up, as if being called to attention, themselves.
Blinking hard and twiddling his bejeweled fingers in the air a bit, he looked at his young friends, and said, "Well, mates, if we can't get our little acquaintances, here, t' go home, maybe we can give 'em a proper welcome, savvy?"
Glancing sideways at the Turners, Jack threw his head back proudly, and, addressing the hens... the captain began to softly ... cluck! "Buckbuckbuckbaaawwwwk..."
The little hens excitedly began to squawk and cackle loudly, flapping their wings so hard it was almost believable that they might join Mr. Cotton's parrot up on the yardarm. Alarmed, the parrot took off to find Cotton.
Jack turned to his highly amused companions, and winked... "I don't know wot th' hell I just said, but I think I jus' made friends wif 'em!" He shrugged and turned back to the excited little duo.
Once again, stifling their laughter, William and Elizabeth watched as the greatest pirate who had ever lived leaned over at the waist and said, "Now, listen up, ye two swabbies... Do you have the courage and fortitude to stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?"
The hens ignored the swearing in... they were affectionately running all around and in between the captain's booted feet, clucking, with little bits of feathers and down floating all about them. The captain reached down, and daintily scratched the red hen upon her soft head. She closed her eyes and leaned into his fingers. The Turners' mouths dropped open in amazement.
Jack straightened up, twitched his mustache and stated, "Very well, ladies. Welcome t' the crew o' th' Black Pearl. Follow me, please... buckbuckbuck...baawwwwk."
As he fluttered his hands toward the Turners with great ceremony, the young couple, arm in arm, stepped back to let the captain and two new crewmembers pass, in order to proceed down into the hold of the ship. William could not help himself as he watched Jack lead his little parade, clucking softly to his new "pets"... William burst into laughter, again, holding his pained chest with one hand and pointing at Jack with the other. Elizabeth had her hand firmly clasped over her mouth, trying to laugh politely. William, however, just could not help himself...
Turning to face the young couple, Jack tossed his head back and said, with a sparkle in his eye and a smile tugging at his mustache, " ... for that sort of outburst, Mr. Turner, there will be NO omelette for you in the morning!" ...and turning back to the hens, who stared up at him, lovingly, the captain said, "Scarlett... Gisele... may I show you to your new accomodations?"
With sweeping hands and great fanfare, Jack and the two hens disappeared down into the hold, with the captain muttering and clucking all the way, "... this way, dearies... we shall have yer new kips set up in no time... buckbuckbuck...Awww, now tha's two nice little hens... you'll like it here!...See? Look! ...Mr. Gibbs is already makin' nice nestin' boxes for ye...an' him wif a hangover, too! I'll tell ye, ladies, I likes th' two o' you better'n an undead monkey for a pet, as, to me knowledge, undead monkeys can't lay eggs... an' you two followin' me around beats rocks that turn into crabs... buckbuckbuck t' you, too, darling..."
Shaking his head in amusement, William did not care if he missed out upon an omelette for breakfast. Elizabeth also laughed merrily, put her arms around her husband, and embraced him tightly ... William had not laughed like this in a very long time. William could feel his restored heart beating within his bandaged ribs, where it belonged... thanks to the very odd, good man that had just led a parade of poultry below to the hold.
Omelettes could wait for another morning, if that be the punishment for his happiness. He and Elizabeth were together, heading back to the Caribbean with their friends, and even if his last name was 'Sparrow', it was a revelation to find out that their strutting, crowing, proud captain could muddle his way through speaking 'hen' to the two new crewmembers from Singapore, after all!
THE END
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