Meredith paced impatiently outside of the apartment building, waiting for the realtor to arrive. It was a little after two, and she felt like her life had been placed on pause for the last few hours as she waited to hear whether or not the place was hers.
She'd be approved. Of course, she'd be approved. She made a reasonable income. She had no debts. She owned a house. She was a great candidate for a one bedroom, one and a half bath apartment. And if she wasn't, she'd just reapply for it with Derek. This was going to happen. These were all just formalities.
But she was still nervous. And fidgety. And feeling more like an awkward preteen slouched against the wall at her first boy-girl dance than a neurosurgical resident in an adult relationship renting her first Seattle apartment.
She helped operate on brains and they questioned whether or not she was qualified to rent this apartment. Had the realtor suffered some traumatic brain injury herself?
Just a formality, Mere…Just a formality…
Waiting was painful.
A small red sports car finally pulled into the reserved spot in front of the building. A middle-aged woman wearing too much makeup and two inch heels strolled up to the entrance, a folder of papers and a large black purse in tow. Her pink skirt suit seemed a little too short to be professional, and Meredith suddenly understood why this great apartment had lasted this long on the market. It looked like real estate wasn't the only thing the realtor was trying to sell.
Meredith held her breath.
"Are you Dr. Grey?" the woman asked. A little bit of bright red lipstick stuck to the realtor's front teeth, and Meredith licked her own teeth self-consciously before answering.
"Um, yeah. Are you here to show me the apartment?" Meredith replied.
Duh, Mere. She knew your name. Who else is this? Your fairy-freaking-godmother?
"Yes. I'm Regina – we spoke earlier. Let's go inside," the woman responded, taking out a key to the apartment and unlocking the front door. "I take it you've seen this place already?"
"Yeah, I saw it on Saturday. But I wasn't looking to rent then. It was for a friend," Meredith admitted. The women walked to the elevator, heading toward the top floor. The wood-paneled elevator was small – much smaller than the one at Seattle Grace, and Meredith wondered if Derek's thing for elevators would spillover to this place. She hoped so. She smiled at the prospect.
"Did you just break up with someone?" Regina asked nosily.
"Excuse me?" Meredith choked, completely caught off guard by the question.
"You said you weren't looking for apartments for yourself on Saturday. Today's only Tuesday. Usually if things change that quickly it's because of a breakup or something," Regina twittered.
"Oh," Meredith mumbled. The elevator dinged and they stepped off onto the top floor. "No breakup, just looking for a change."
"That's good, dear…Well, here we are," Regina announced.
Meredith waited anxiously while Regina fumbled with the lock, and she looked around the hall. By her count, there were only two other apartments on this level – a small enough number to have some privacy, but a large enough number not to be completely isolated.
Meredith walked in and gasped. It was far better than she had remembered. The kitchen, though fairly small, sparkled with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, and it opened into a large room that served as the living and dining areas. Enormous windows overlooking the sound to the west and the mountains to the north flanked the walls and flooded the room with natural light. She could instantly imagine Derek sitting in the room, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper in his flannel pajama bottoms. The thought gave her hope that she could even become a morning person.
Meredith continued touring into the bedroom. A quick mental measurement confirmed that a king sized bed would fit comfortably in there. It was carpeted, unlike the rest of the apartment, and heavy drapes hung on the wall, enabling them to choose between waking to sunlight or sleeping in total darkness. Walking further in, she gasped as she looked in the master bathroom. She hadn't even noticed that it had a garden tub the first time through. How could she have possibly missed that?
It would be perfect. Bubbly, romantic, and perfect. And theirs. No Izzie or Alex or Cristina or George. No interruptions, no distractions, no bad memories.
Just theirs.
"Are you still interested?" Regina asked, a little impatiently.
"Are you kidding? Of course I am," Meredith mused.
"Good," Regina smiled. "You've been approved. I've printed all of the paperwork and copies of the lease. I just need a few signatures, first and last months rent, and a security deposit, and then it's yours."
"Seriously?" Meredith gushed.
"Yeah. You could move in today, if you wanted," Regina confirmed, dangling the keys in front of her.
"Do you allow pets?" Meredith asked, thinking a little about Doc. She was curious more than anything. Nothing Regina could say was likely to be a deal-breaker.
"Do you have one now?" Regina asked, a small frown forming on her face.
"No, but we might get one someday…a dog…" Meredith speculated. It wasn't like they had really talked about it, but it could happen. They were dog lovers, and she wanted to be prepared for any contingency.
"Well yes, small and medium-sized dogs are allowed, but you may have to pay an extra security deposit if you get one. Just let us know."
"Okay," Meredith replied, satisfied.
She smiled and walked to the kitchen counter, racing through the paperwork and scrawling her name or initials on various lines.
"And if I want to add someone's name to the lease with me…?" Meredith asked cautiously.
"A boyfriend?" Regina responded, again seeming far too nosy.
"Yes," Meredith admitted. This time she didn't feel uncomfortable by Regina's prying. She was happy to answer that question.
"And what does he do?" Regina inquired.
"Will it matter to adding him to the lease?" Meredith shot back, growing a little impatient with the follow up questions rather than answers.
"Oh, no. You can add him if you want to. You'll just need to bring him to the office and fill out a few forms," Regina responded, frowning again slightly in disappointment.
"He's also a neurosurgeon," Meredith offered. "He's actually becoming the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace." She had to admit, she liked saying that.
"That's wonderful, dear. So is this a transitional apartment? I'm sure with the money you two will be making, you could find a place much bigger than this."
Meredith blushed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
"I'm not sure. I think this will suit our needs just fine for now," Meredith responded politely. She finished writing the necessary checks, and traded them for the keys before Regina started sorting out all of the papers.
"Well, good luck, Dr. Grey. It's a great apartment, and I'm sure your doctor friend will like it as well." Regina packed up her copies, smiled politely at Meredith, and left.
It was done.
It was an apartment, and it was leased to Dr. Meredith Grey.
And it was empty.
Meredith ran around the place one last time, clinking heavily on the hardwood floors as she surveyed her new domicile. She couldn't wait to tell Derek about it, and she knew that dinner wouldn't happen soon enough.
But now, she needed to plan how she'd break the news.
She left the apartment, locking the door excitedly behind her, and raced down to her SUV. She still had a few things to take care of.
Cristina sat on the leather couch of the Grey house flipping through TV channels. She seemed so engaged in watching the scenes mutate from one station to the next that she didn't even hear Meredith come in.
"America's Most Wanted? I didn't even know that show was still on," Meredith remarked as she noticed the station Cristina had finally settled on.
Cristina jumped a little at the sound of Meredith's voice, but quickly settled back into her calm and collected self.
"I'm just watching to see if Burke or his mom is on here," Cristina snarled.
"Right," Meredith sighed, amused. "This show's okay, but it's no Unsolved Mysteries. That was some good shit. Robert Stack, creepy music, and mysteries…unsolved." She plopped onto the couch next to Cristina and picked up a chenille throw pillow to hug.
"Yeah…" Cristina replied awkwardly. "I was just going to watch this for a few minutes before I go apartment hunting," she lied. She had no intention of looking for apartments this afternoon but suddenly felt guilty seeing Meredith.
"Don't bother," Meredith replied casually.
"No, really. I'll go. Seriously," Cristina insisted defensively.
"Cris…You don't need to move out…I've actually decided that, um, well, I am. I'm moving out," Meredith confessed.
Cristina's eyes grew wide. "You're moving to the trailer? Are you insane?"
"Actually, I'm not moving to the trailer…I got an apartment." Meredith fidgeted with the edges of the pillow while she waited for her friend's reaction.
"What? You're moving? An apartment? Is Derek moving in with you?" Cristina seemed almost frantic with questions, spoken and unspoken.
"Derek doesn't know yet. I'm going to tell him tonight, but I assume he'll move in with me. It's the last apartment we saw – the Zen fishbowl – and I think he'll love it," Meredith gushed, her enthusiasm palpable.
Cristina felt nauseous.
"And then when you fight, what are you going to do? Send him back to the trailer?" Cristina hissed unintentionally.
Meredith gasped, surprised by the negativity. "No, maybe we'll just spend a few weeks giving each other the silent treatment. I hear that's healthy and mature these days. Maybe we'll even get engaged," Meredith shot back icily, turning off the internal monitor that detected when her comments approached a line and when they crossed it.
She had clearly crossed it.
Cristina instantly turned pale with looks of shock and hurt flooding the places once flushed with color. It made Meredith instantly regret her comments.
"Cris, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like…that…" Meredith back-peddled. "It's just…"
"What is it, Mere? Tell me," Cristina demanded coldly. "You're the god damn expert on mature relationships these days! How else could you have possibly meant that?"
"Well," Meredith started, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you and Burke. I really, really am. I want to see you happy – you're my person. You deserve to be happy."
Meredith looked down at the pillow again, searching for the exact words to express what she wanted to say – needed to say to her best friend.
"What happened to you sucked, but Derek is not Burke, and I'm not you. I don't question whether I want to be with Derek like you did with Burke. I know that I do. I'm certain that I do. He's it for me, Cris, and as much as I've tried to deny it, he's just…it. The one. If I don't try to make this work, I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life, and I don't want to end up bitter and alone like my mother did. I need this. We need this," Meredith insisted. She hadn't really thought about it in these terms before, but as the words left her lips, she knew them to be true.
Cristina stared at the floor for a couple moments, deep in thought, before looking up at Meredith.
"You're really going to do this?" Cristina asked reluctantly.
"I am. It's done," Meredith confirmed.
"Can I still jog there in the mornings if I'm having boy troubles?" Cristina inquired. Her eyes were wide with anticipation.
"Yes, but you might want to call first because if we're in bed, I'm not answering the door," Meredith replied, recalling the times Cristina had previously barged in on their morning canoodling.
"So basically no," Cristina said sarcastically.
The two sat quietly for a moment, reflecting on what this meant for their friendship. Meredith knew that this was a big deal – in some ways she was choosing Derek over Cristina, but she hoped that Cristina didn't feel betrayed by it. And deep down, Cristina knew this was inevitable. She even knew that it was the right decision.
"If he ever hurts you…If he does that again to you, Mere…I will hurt him. I'll be a dirty pit fighter with a scalpel for you," Cristina urged.
"I know, Cris. And I've already put a hit out on Burke for you," Meredith grinned.
"Okay then."
"Okay."
Cristina stared at the TV for a couple minutes before turning it off. She was looking at the TV, but not really watching it. All she could think about was how much everything was changing – with Burke and Meredith and the hospital. But for now she was growing cautiously optimistic. Maybe change could be okay.
"When are you moving?" she asked.
"I already have the keys. No furniture, but I have keys. I could start moving today if I wanted," Meredith admitted.
"Well let's get to it. Your shit is really starting to get in my way," Cristina teased.
"Thank you," Meredith giggled, reaching over to hug Cristina.
Cristina tried to resist, but ultimately couldn't. The non-medical human contact had been almost nonexistent since her break up, and although she'd never admit it, she wanted a hug.
"Can I keep your bed?" Cristina asked, pulling away. "I've gotten used to it."
"I'll discuss it with Derek," Meredith replied. "I'm not sure that we'd be able to clear a path wide enough to get it out anyway with all of your stuff everywhere!"
"I know, that was all part of my master plan actually," Cristina teased back.
Meredith laughed and followed Cristina upstairs to her now former bedroom. She maybe didn't have important things like furniture settled yet, but she could certainly start packing the rest of her stuff.