6
Sam was released after 2 more days, SG1 was on downtime for at least 2 weeks, as she had to go see Mackenzie , on her own and as part of a group with the rest of the team. No one would accept her word that she didn't feel any bitterness against her CO, except Teal'c, he agreed with her.
Mackenzie said she was suffering from misplaced guilt, which was why she wasn't blaming him, she wondered if she had screamed and shouted that he had not to come near her, would that have been 'better' from a psychological view?
Jonas had been buzzing around a lot, and most times when she woke Teal'c had been there, but the only times she had seen Jack had been just as she woke, he was always gone before she could talk to him. Was it because he was embarrassed by her actions? Naww a man like him must be used to women being forward with him, she knew if she had not been his 2IC she would have jumped him within days of meeting him…hours if she was honest, the first time she got a good look at those bedroom eyes of his.
She went to the locker room, only to realise she had no civvies to wear, her top and bra had been cut off by Janet as she was sticking monitors and tubes into her, her jeans probably still lay on the bathroom floor of whatever cabin they had been in. She sighed and got a clean set of BDUs out and dressed in the trousers and shirt, she decided to leave the jacket, it wasn't cold out.
She signed out of the mountain and made her way home, once she got there she had a shower and changed into some sweats. She headed for he kitchen, once again realising that she had not done any shopping when this all started, damn, she really didn't feel like going out again. She was just about to call for a Chinese delivery when she heard the doorbell, she made her way to the door, memories making her move slower than usual, but when she looked out the peephole she could see Teal'c and Jonas with a pizza box, she opened the door and welcomed them in, looking around for the other team member, in vain.
"O'Neill will be here soon" Teal'c said "he stated you needed some 'things' and he went to procure them" she had no idea what 'things' they could be, but if he wasn't avoiding her then it was fine.
They had only just sat down when she heard her door open and her CO walked in, her mouth watered and not from the pizza, he had on a sinful black polo neck and his sunglasses, with black jeans, at least two sizes too big for him, he had a couple of large brown bags and she jumped up to relieve him of one. She led him into the kitchen when he said
"Food" he said "I came by the other day to check and you had nothing in" she smiled at him "no tuna" he specified and she looked sharply at him, so he did remember!
He coughed and said he would see her later and started to back out of the kitchen, she grabbed his jumper and pulled him back "Carter!" he exclaimed "What do you think you are doing?"
"What we should have done 2 years ago, if not longer" she said pressing up against him
He grabbed her upper arms and lifted her away from him, "Think about it!" he hissed "is a quick fuck against the kitchen units worth your career?" she thought about it, he was right, it wasn't, not when Jonas was in the other room. Teal'c wouldn't say anything, but Jonas wouldn't know NOT to.
"I don't want a quick fuck" she hissed back at him, that wasn't actually true, she DID, but she wanted more. "I want YOU, anyway I can get you, as much as you are willing to give"
"I love you, as a FRIEND Carter. I feel the same way about Teal'c and did about Daniel, a lot more than I am supposed to, but if you think I am romantically attracted to you, you are wrong" he leaned over and kissed her forehead again and whispered "I'm sorry" and left her stood in her kitchen wondering how she could have been so very wrong!
0o0o0o
She went back into her living room and told the other two that he had been called back to base, she chewed on a single slice of pizza, not tasting it and not hungry, eventually the others noticed she was preoccupied and bid her good night. She locked the door behind them and made her way to her bed.
How could she have misread him so much? How the hell was she supposed to face him now? She sat on the edge of her bed for hours, making no effort to get undressed or to go to sleep. She replayed everything she ever remembered him saying, every look. Apart from Apophis's ship and at the sentinel, the only look she could remember that she could honestly say could not mean anything else was in the Za'tarc test, 3 looks in 5 years? Was he telling the truth? Did he see her as a very close friend? She knew he had the capacity to sacrifice himself for people a lot less important to him, was THAT what the speech about him dying rather than losing her meant? NO she would not accept it!
She couldn't be THAT wrong! And if she was she had nothing to lose anyway, she had already gone too far to back down, there was no way she could work with him if he was telling the truth! And she NEEDED him! However she could get him!
She stood and looked at the clock, 01:00. She had had enough, she knew no matter what, he would in no way allow her to risk her career, and similarly she knew if anything happened it would be him that was held up as the one responsible, he was the senior officer, she made a plan, she would get what she wanted, and make it so he could not be held responsible. She gathered some things that she thought she would need and left her home.
The first thing she needed was a way of getting close to him, without him knowing. There was no way in hell she could sneak up on him when he was asleep, she had tried it before offworld, he slept with both eyes open sometimes it seemed.
She made her way onto the base and into the infirmary, she knew Janet kept all the usual drugs locked up, but she knew there was a small bottle of sleeping pills that were left on a shelf for anyone who needed to sleep after a mission. She also knew that Janet had told him he had to use some because of the nightmares he was having. She didn't need a massive dose, the residual drugs in his system just needed topping up and he would sleep. She took 4 and a hypodermic and was debating if she could get a tranq gun, she decided not to risk it and left the base again.
She made her way to his house and unlocked the patio door using the keys she had taken when she was looking for him, she looked around, she couldn't see anything that she could use to hide the tablets in! Damn! Why had he shopped for her and not for himself? She found a bottle of water in the fridge, she crushed 2 of the tablets quietly between two spoons and using a hypodermic drew water from the bottle, mixed the powder in and injected it back in.
She now just had to wait for him to drink it. His drink of choice was beer, she knew so she had to get him to exercise, she hid the other things she had bought behind the TV unit and left.
At 06:00 she rang him and asked if he minded if she came around, he sounded wary but said yes. She drove to his house, in her jogging sweats, with her water bottle on her belt and when he answered the door and questioned her attire she said she only came to apologise on her way to the park, she needed a run. She had seen him running around the track in the park several times when walking with Cassie and her dog. She had joined him several times too. She knew he would be getting antsy about now, no missions but well enough to work, on enforced downtime.
He told her to forget the apology and that he would join her running, he got changed and they headed off for a run. She was surprised, she had only meant to plant the suggestion in his head, but he went with her… as if the confrontation in the kitchen never happened. She had expected him to avoid her, instead he seemed more comfortable than he had since that Za'tarc incident.
After an hour they headed back to his house, she kept drinking out of her bottle, offering him some, which he declined, as soon as they got back he invited her in and headed for the fridge, he opened the bottle and swallowed the contents in one. Now she just had to wait.
He offered her the guest bathroom to clean up, but she had no fresh clothes so she declined, she watched a documentary while he showered, after an hour she went to see what had happened to him, he was asleep on the bed, he only had a pair of boxers on.
She smiled and went back to the living room to get her things. She had 2 silk scarves, a pair of handcuffs and some massage oil, she headed back to the bedroom quietly, she was just about to cuff his hands when he twisted and she was beneath him, he was VERY awake!