I don't own GS/GSD. R&R please.

Chapter 5

She stood very, very still, making sure her breathing was even and superbly silent in its control so nobody would hear her. Shaking the blonde hair that had fallen into her eyes during the whole business of hide-and-seek, Cagalli listened out for any footsteps approaching and giggled a little, but she checked herself immediately and stifled the urge to roar with laughter which she was certainly more prone to doing rather than nondescript chuckles that were more typical of Lacus.

She loved weekends, worshipped those, in fact, because those days were days of her days of happiness and truly saturated euphoria with him. Athrun had actually insisted that she leave office work that was assigned to another week to the week it was orgianlly allocated to, because he didn't see the need for her to complete work three weeks in advance of the stipulated date. He wasn't a very forceful person by nature, quite mild but serious, upholding impossibly high standards for himself but substandard, low ones when it came to others, accepting whatever they could give and not demanding for more. So when Athrun had gazed at her with a sort of indescribable longing in his eyes and asked her if she would do as he said, she couldn't say no to him or herself for that matter either. No matter how she tried to reinforce in herself that she wasn't as dependent on Athrun Zala as she appeared to be, she knew that facts didn't change no matter how hard she might have tried to will them to.

"Besides," he had half-drawled a bit later after she'd agreed to cut herself some slack, doing that while propped up on one of the soft cushions she similarly lay on, and quite unfazed by her indignant expression when he suggested that she leave the extra work off the weekends, "You can mind a country, but if you do it too much, nobody's going to mind you."

His words were simple, it was bare, almost naked in its brutal truthfulness and she understood what he was trying to say and felt a bit guilty about then. She was apprehensive too, and the meanings slotted in between his words had made her squrim a little but quite uncomfortably, and Cagalli had resolved there and then to be more of his wife rather then ORB's mistress. But the would-be ominous note became less apparent when he swooped down and kissed her, as if daring her to disagree.

She didn't.

So Cagalli hadn't been able to argue with that, and here she was, crouching in some scratchy, resilinet looking weeds in a mishappen boulder and hiding from the children. They had been quite upset when Kira and Lacus went off and left them after having gotten used to the couple's presence for so long, and Markio had experienced so much trouble with their unbridled mischief after that to the extent that the gentle, calm man had actually threatened to omit desert from their menus. Athrun had visited that week without her, and perhaps he had intervened, elevating him to the status of a worshipped deity in the eyes of the children. The last time she had seen them, they had crowded around him, practically in awe and reverence, and she had teased him mercilessly about it even days after that visit. He reciprocrated by casually, or would-be casually telling Kisaka the way she liked to sprawl herself all over the bed when she slept. All this in front of her, and her face had been a tomato then, she had made him stop by swearing never to tease him too much, and so he got his back at her.

Now, Athrun had convinced her to visit with him at the orphanage, and they had spent the better half of the morning bringing the children for walks all over the place, and it was uncanny how they resembled a large motley crew trampling around the wild vegetation near the coast. She hadn't been exceptionally keen to go to an area she held so many bad memories of, but at the same time, Cagalli had been too embarrasssed to admit that she was jumpy and frightened of the prospect of being at a beach. But Athrun hadn't said anything, he had just brought her close to him before they set off for the orphanage and held her tight for a few moments, although it was like eternity then. He had told her, a sort of fierce posseiveness in his green eyes that had accelerated her heartbeat instantly, "I'll protect you."

She had been painfully aware of the way he had said that five years ago when she had been about seventeen. Being in love then was different from being in love now, because Cagalli finally belonged to him and nobody could tear her away from him. Athrun said he would protect her five years ago and then he had left for ZAFT with her consent. Unbeknowst to him, after he had left and she watched from the ground as the shuttle made a cloud stream in the blue sky, she had miserably whispered, "Good luck, Athrun."

Because she had allowed him to, he had left her. And at that time, she had thought to herself, "Am I a burden to him?"

Although her inner fears were concelaed well from sight, particularly Athrun's, and those were admittedly irrational, probably due to her situation at that point int time, she had honestly thought for more than a while, of course, after he had used harsh words against her regardless of the ring she had worn then on the island, that he didn't love her anymore than she loved a man who had tried to use her as a puppet. In any case, Athrun Zala had never been a man of too many words, but neither was he one of few words, it was jsut that Athrun preferred more actions than words to convey his thoughts. And so, he had never told her he loved her, not openly or verbally, no, and she believed he did and was perfectly satisfied living in the bliss of that faith. But three years ago, it had been irreparably shaken, and then Cagalli had thought, sinking into despair and isloated from even her brother, trapped in a country that seemed to deem her as insignificant and unnecessary save for the wife of a man she didn't love, even despised, that her world was crumbling without Athrun Zala.

But now she wore the ring again, no matter how chaotic things might turn out to be if she took one wrong turn and swerved in a direction whereby detrimental consequences were inevitable, it wouldn't matter to him, for he'd still be there to hold her silently, giving all and taking very little back. And Athrun would stroke her hair, offering silence and comfort and then she'd know that he didn't want to leave even if she asked him to and then-

"Found you!" a high-pitched squeal issuing from the cherry lips of Andre ripped her musing cleanly into halves and threw them to the side. He had grown so tall from the last time she had seen him that he was akin to a runner bean by children's standards. She hastily hauled him in and clapped a mouth over his own and hissed frusiously, "Don't! You'll make them know I'm here, and I'll be mocked for choosing to hide in the bushes! You're my accomplice now, so you stay put and can it, you!"

The child squirmed in her arms but he nodded, the glint of mischief in his eyes even more prounounced than ever, and with a sigh of relief, she let go and let him hug her with his tiny arms around her waiste with his head resting against her as they huddled in the semi-darkness, trying hard not to laugh and let themselves be discovered by the other seekers. He was a dear child, he was, very precocious for his age and quite cute in the innocence he possesed even though he tried so hard, so very, very hard to be a grown-up. And she ruffled his hair somewhat absently in her affection as he cuddled unabashedly, knowing she wouldn't jeer at his want of affection and Cagalli grinned to noone in particular as she felt him bury his face as he turned towards her and she carried him securely in her lap. It would soon feel sore, but she half-expected the others to find them before it became unbearable. If she knew Athrun to be who she thought he was, then he'd be here to locate them himself in no time at all.

She watched, almost idly, as tiny feet went pitter-patter across where they were enshourded, and then Cagalli's heartbeat went faster as she noticed a noticeably larger pair trailing after them at a comfortable pace. A split-second later, Andre was whispering to her in conspiratory tones, "Hey! Athrun's there!"

"Well of course he is," she muttered back in low tones, shuffling her feet slightly lest they cramp, "He drew the lot which was a seeker with Laylia and Pieter, didn't he? Along with you of course, but you're my captive now so you better not try anything funny with me."

He looked up at her adoringly, enjoying the Gestapo act she had put up to spice up the situation and he beamed, his large brown eyes wider than ever with a pleased I-know-a-secret-that-you-don't air that was highly reminiscent of Lacus. She smiled briefly at him and kept very still, then she saw the feet march pause right in front of them and her breath was hitched up, but a moment later they moved off after the first few smaller feet that Andre's might have bene with if she hadn't reeled him in to help her. But he sneezed a second later and the same feet she recognised quite well was instantly in front of ths shrubs and a pair of hands drew the fronds aparts as he often did in the morning, only that this time, the curtains were vines.

"Found you!" he exclaimed triumphantly, staring baldly at them and dryly noting that if it weren't a child and another man Cagalli was holding in such a manner, he'd have killed the unfortunate person already. And there were shouts of excitement from the distance as about a dozen children came pouring from everywhere like excited bees and started hurtling towards him as he stood there grinning at them. And Cagalli made a complete headcount in an instant, so they had located all but her, hadn't they? Not too bad, she thought with some satisfaction, not too bad at all.

Pouting slightly, Cagalli hurriedly disentagled herself from Andre and made him get up by prodding him absently in the side, then she did the same, running a slightly grimy hand trhough her hair and laughing a bit fooshily at all of them who were doing the same save for Athrun. He didn't laugh often, not openly at least, discounting the dry chuckles and slight smirks at times, but he might grant her a smile that made her heart flutter and a blush stain her cheeks the way berries would for fingers that picked them, but his laugh, that was rare. She didn't mind, she was breathless from the laughter after a bit, and he was still smiling silently at them, warmth coursing through his eyes and directing themselves at the children and eventually, only to her.

Making sure that the tingling sensation beneath her cheeks were well-controlled, she allowed him a half-smile, half-grimace at her disgrace of being found, and then she allowed her hands to be linked by the children's as they shouted in their mad joy that tea was served, signalled by a bell pealing in the distance.

"Alright," Athrun agreed very obligingly, "We can go now and stuff our faces like pigs."

"We're not ging to be supermodels, who cares?" Gayle questioned testily, his messy, pale hair looking more unkempt than ever, "Let's go right now! Quick, Father Markio will be waiting for us so we can start! He promised us that we could cut a cake Tribrire baked yesteray to cleebrate your coming today!"

"No need to cut her cake," Cagalli protested, steered by the orpahns, not managsing to spot the look of intense delgiht that fltited over the young gir's face at the notion that her cake was being used for such a moment, "No need, really!"

"Oh, don't be so mean!" Gayle giggled, insanely to say the least, "She baked the cake for all of us knowing that Athrun and Cagalli were both cpkign today."

And so she conceded, somewhat reluctantly because it was such a pity to cut the gorgeous, layered confectionary the girl had made, a miracle in its very manufacture, but a bite of it convinced her that the choice to cut it for tea had been appropriate to say the least.

By the time Athrun guided her into the car and they reached home after a half-hour's drive, she was dozing off, thoroughly spent from the day's antics and the children's wild games. She refused to talk to him in the car because Athrun never spoke while driving if he could help it. He was just too careful with things like that.

And she let him take her coat for her and hang it securely with his own and moved mechanically to the bathroom, feeling her joints crumble a bit as if they were steel pieces left for too long in the rain where rust now covered the vital areas and weakened them, wearing them down with time. When Cagalli moved out langourously, rubbing her damp hair with a thick, Turkish towel, he grinned at her from where he was sitting with a pen in his hand and scribbling on some documentation. And he then took over the use of the bathroom while she settled comfortably on the bed, lying flat on her stomach, dozing and lazing around. The sounds of water and the tap being turned on and off occasionally kept her from drifting entirely to a place where only dreams would reach her. But she became dinstinctively aware that he had finished his own bath when a shadow was cast over her, his shadow, more specifically, encased in the spicy aftershave which she vaguely identified with his presence instantly. She would have gotten up straight after rolling over to rest on her back in a bit of surprise at his sudden presence, but Athrun merely shook his head, pinning her down with his arms and muttured, "S'kay, go back to sleep."

But she encircled her arms tiredly, like a child, around his waist, similar to what Andre had demonstarted to her earlier in the day and absently murmured, "Can't think, too sleepy."

"Then don't think," he replied quite easily, forcing her to settle back comfortabley and slipping beneath the covers where some of her warmth was absorbed and she shivered a little, "Just rest."

"Alright," she conceded tiredly, nuzzling against him and feeling at ease as she lay against his chest, wondeirng to what extent would it's firmness and stability stretch up to, "Did you like the children today?"

His eyebrows raised cynically and he gave a wry smile, his long, slim fingers sifting through her hair by sheer force of habit. She arched her neck obligingly, draining in the sensation and trying to lock it in her memory.

"It helps that the black blood was cleared," he said finally, his ministrations paused for a while, and when she tried to make him tell her more, he only shook his head and pressed a finger to her lips and told her in a low voice laced with honey and delicious warmth, "Don't think so much or you'll ruin this before you even know it."

The next morning before the sun was clearly apparent in the sky, she awoke when the alarm went off, that was set for her, he always woke on time, not a minute more, not a minute less, and he always left earlier than her and therefore, the pillow next to hers was already faintly cold. She would have sighed in regret but then she was already used to it. Her marriage never equated to freedom to be with him for every single minute of her life, and in that respect, she was glad. Because it was very easy, too easy, too dangerous, to become dependent on someone like Athrun Zala.

And that evening, they had their first fight in a long time.Granted, they always bickered over some things, but it was more often than not, mischief and some form of argument, a casual sparring of words that would end up in luxurious evenings that melded into morning of slight regret and wistfulness when she awoke alone. That fight though, was more bitter than of playfulness and more of anger than of fiestiness. And for days after that, hurt welled up in her and the slight bruises on her wrists, inconspicuous and unintentional, stood out when one looked close enough, like purplish-black butterflies on her honey skin.