Disclaimer: I don't own GS/GSD or their characters. R&R please.

Chapter 9

It was all very strange to Athrun. He had been sitting at his desk, writing a report, and he had heard sound outside his window. Sounds of whirrings and buzzings a bit like a camera outside his window. Of course ZAFT/ORB had a dozen of those, just that he knew his office wasn't supposed to have any, not even considering that the sounds were coming from the outside where he might have expected a crane to reach it with some difficulty.

Considering that his office was on the sixth floor, it was all very strange.

But he hadn't any time to waste, so he continued and pressed a button, and then he spoke authoratatively into the device. His secretary answered, and she even had the cheek to use a saucy tone with him. Of course she did, she was working long hours and was quite irritable, but then if that was the case, then wasn't he entitled to show some attitude too, especially when she was single and he had someone waiting back home for him? Not just anyone, mind you, Cagalli Yula Atha was a person he didn't want to let go off so easily. But he ignored her and spoke mildly, "Bring in the papers, and while you're at it, do check what's going on outside at my window. Try to spot a camera or anything of that sort."

"Sure," his secretary replied flippantly, and he was sure that she was painting her nails scarlet or plum or some hooker-esque, frivolous colour. It wasn't like Athrun to think badly of most girls, but she was the kind who one didn't want to be closely assosciated with, and having someone like Cagalli as his wife to compare to either didn't help. His secretary was attractive if you were the kind who liked that sort, he shuddered at that point, but once again, he had Cagalli and to see anyone else but her was quite frankly, the things only lunatics and idiots or blind people did.

'Or deaf ', he thought humourlessly as he heard her cackling like a witch at some crass, nonsensical joke she was reading from a magazine. Athrun had considered sacking her at some point in the past, but he had been too bogged down by his work to bother. Come to think of it, the reason why he was so overladden with all that was probably the issue of his secretary itself, it was quite overtly known that she didn't exactly accomplish stellar work.

"Chairman," she grinned coquettishly, probably practising for the new recruits, he thought amusedly, "Here are the papers. Oh, and don't worry about the ongoings in the camp, it's just some random soldiers firing shots for practice in the grounds and some filming going on for the documentary. The clerk downstairs told me they'll be airing it in a week's time, so they need some footage."

Athrun gazed absently at her and didn't bother reminding her to knock the door, he just couldn't be bothered.And as she passed him the stack of papers, he noticed that her ZAFT uniform was modified again. What had it been the last time, oh, right, a miniskirt like Lunamaria's except it was black, now it was some kind of flouncy white one with the midriff bared. He spared her the honour of his comments and smirked when she left. But he realised he would have to speak to her soon, he didn't want any rumours of any kind. Yzak would use it to hit him under the belt if they weren't quashed fast.

But something still was unsettling. Since when did the soldiers practise so near the offices? He flipped through the pile and selected those relevant ones, since his secretary had conveniently left the editing out. Sighing heavily, he scribbled some notes here and there and scanned his eyes over the picture board at the side.

Photographs of Kira and Lacus smiling and waving cheerfully at the camera, there was one of him and Yzak, Yzak actually allowing a sort of half-grimace, half-grin, but his eyes were very honest and sincere. There was one of Shiho and Cagalli, previously conversing at a the Joule's annual ball, both looking directly into the camera. Shiho looked none too pleased about the interruption, she was glaring at it as if it were a poisonous snake as she reluctantly raised her glass in a toast, and there was Cagalli looking very startled. Athrun hadn't warned them that he was taking his photograph, he had just taken it. Shiho looked miffed, but then she always looked a bit unsettled, but Cagalli was wide-eyed and her lips parted in surprise. He liked that picture of them, no practised smiles, no artifice, just them.

And there was one of him and Kira that Dearka had obligingly taken, they were standing next to each other, holding glasses, Kira in his wedding suit and looking very gallant, he was handsome already, but at his wedding, he looked like the poster-boy for well-bred tycoon and all that, except Kira really wasn't that. The final one was of Cagalli that he had coerced her into taking for him, she sat on a long armchair with her legs crossed, looking the part of the princess and of the lineage she was born with. Her hair was slightly long then, so it touched a bit lower than her shoulders which were incidentally bare because of her dress. He hadn't been too pleased about that, actually, she had been at some function of some nature he couldn't recall offhand, and they had been already married by then, the ring glinted, resting snugly upon her finger. Her smile was unsure, shy even, but her eyes were bright and hopeful, and there was a fine black string around her beautiful neck. If he squinted hard enough, he could make out a white shell. His white shell.

An abrupt knocking made him purse his lips irritably, and he looked up at the secretary who had somehow remembered to knock this time.

"What is it?" he demanded, trying not to sound rude. For Pete's sake, wasn't a man even allowed to daydream and think of his wife sometimes?

"Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all, "There's a call from Sir Kisaka. He says it's urgent and he won't take no for an answer."

Frowning, Athrun nodded, remaining rooted in his chair. A second later, the phone rang and he picked it up unwillingly and held it to his ear. Kisaka's voice, firm and loud filled his ears.

"The Princess has been out of ORB until half an hour ago," Kisaka began, and there was a trace of uncertainty in his voice. Athrun stared at the photograph he had been looking at and closed his eyes briefly, not trusting himself to say anything. He was silent, praying that Kisaka wouldn't continue yet, he was sure he wouldn't take well too it. Thankfully, his prayers were answered. And when Athrun trusted hiself enough to speak again, he did, but it came harsher than either of them expected.

"You brought her to see Thornier didn't you?"

It was like a whip. He could somehow, sense Kisaka flinching, involuntarily.

"Forgive me," the man replied humbly, but it didn't mollify Athrun in the least. His hand twitched and he spoke again, his tone very sharp, hiswords likewise, "She made you take her, didn't she? And what made you tell me only at this at this juncture?"

"She's been foolish, that I must admit she has been, and she forbid me from telling you," Kisaka interrupted urgently, "But she was afraid of angering you, that was precisely why she requested that I accompany her to meet Thornier without you knowing. You know her better than I do, you know someone like the princess would have settled things on her own, you are aware that she is full of pride, she won't accept help unless she's desperate and-"

"Don't tell me what I already know," Athrun hissed, irrational in his rage, "She's safe, don't dare tell me otherwise."

"She is," Kisaka agreed wearily, "Don't you dare tell me not to let her be either. I may not be in the same position as you are, sir, but I watched the princess grow up, I'm not about to allow her to get slaughtered by some lunatic if you please."

There was a long silence. Neither man spoke up. And Athrun's knuckles were white, as white as his very bones, and his grip on the phone was so tight, it was starting to cause him physical pain.

Athrun cleared his trhoat and spoke up again, "I apologise Kisaka. It wasn't fair to behave the way I just did."

"No matter," the man replied, sounding as unsettled as Athrun had mere seconds ago, "Now, the most important thing is that we take precise, careful steps. We must be vigilant, something about Thornier today made me, and still makes me, mind you, suspect that he's sane somewhere in that strange mess of convolluted thoughts. And if he's sane, then he could be more dangerous than ever."

"Affirmed," Athrun responded heavily, sinking back into the chair, rubbing his temples with a hand that didn't feel exactly like his in any case.

"But first," he continued softly, closing his eyes painfully, "Tell me what Cagalli has been up to."

"I'm sorry sir," Kisaka cut in immediately, "That's for her to tell you, and all I can reveal at this stage is that she has reassigned the bodyguards to you. She has Rainie and another one by her now, the rest have been sent to station and be vigilant around the camp. Or if I were to be more specific, the office you are sitting in."

Athrun listened and swore softly. The sounds he had heard weren't the rifle practices being filmed, he was the subject of the filming. So that explained it.

"Thank you sir," Athrun said stiffly, "You will now kindly call them back to Cagalli. She needs more protection than she thinks. And I trust you to be part of that. I will speak to her this evening. I am grateful once again."

And he slammed down the phone and looked at the photograph of Cagalli sitting and smiling at him unsurely. The rage was building in some part of him. He could never be numb and emotionless when it concerned her. All the deactivation of feelings to leave only pure killing instinct as a soldier didn't work when Cagalli was concerned, and strangely he had welcomed it, even felt alive when she was by him. But then, she had lost his trust now.

He swept his things into his bag, too troubled to even be pleased that he had finished his duties. But Athrun paused at the doorway, watching his secretary with baleful eyes, and when she noticed he was looking at her, she dropped the magazine she had bene idly browsing though and stuttered, "Are you g-going now sir?"

"What does it look like with my case in my hands?" he asked bitingly, "To the restroom or something?"

And he swept off angrily, ignoring Yzak and Shiho who passed by him in the corridor. He had meant to talk to them, especially since they were here so rarely to visit the bilateral military grounds ORB and ZAFT's troops were cojoined in, even though Yzak was amongst the most highly-viewed Commanders and Shiho an acclaimed test pilot. ZAFT just didn't believe in field trips.They spotted him and hastily slauted as a greeting and Athrun did the same with a fair amount of impatience, and they both sensed that he wasn't about to stop and chat as he swept past them brusquely. He could feel his friends' eyes boring into his back, but he didn't give a damn and moved swiftly towards his vehicle.

Behind him, Yzak was scowling, quite an ugly, comical one really, and he turned to look and Shiho and said crossly, "What's eating Zala now? He looked like someone slapped extra taxes on him."

"Don't ask redundant questions Commander," Shiho replied mildly, "You know that only a few things can get to Athrun Zala, and the taxes are fortunately, or unfortunately, not one of those."

"Let's see," Yzak interrupted sarcastically, "His parents, mummy's boy that he is, oh, and his friends and of course, the main cause of his undending-angst."

"Let not the pot call the kettle black, Commander," she interjected coolly, staring straight at him, "Firstly, you're a mummy's boy too, don't try and prove otherwise, there's nothing to prove with everything out in the open anyway. And in case you thought we all didn't know, newsflash: we do. And so do your troops, they all know the Commander Joule is a mummy's boy.You're not exactly a nice angelic boy either, you're a downright punk half the time too. And we both know that Athrun Zala gets worked up over none of the above in the recent years, so that leaves only Cagalli Yula Atha."

"Obviously," Yzak snorted, stalking off in a bit of a temper, Shiho trailing a bit laggedly behind, "He and the Princess of ORB. She probably committed a few murders to get him so angry, since he would have forgiven her with murder and arson combined, or perhaps the girl must have done something stupid to have gotten under his skin like that."

He didn't know how much truth his words had struck the very second he had uttered them.

Back at home, Cagalli sat in her usual seat, waiting for Athrun. She was a nervous wreck, her nerves badly frayed and her heart palpitating. The fire was lit but she felt strangely cold, and she had shredded a tissue that she snatched up for no good reason. Then she heard the safety locks move into activation, and she promptly flung herself out of the chair and rushed to the door, flinging it wide opn to reveal Athrun standing there, his palm outstreched. He had been preparing to go through the safety locks, and the other hand held the briefcase. But his handsome countenace was more serious now than anything, and something lurked beneath the calm he exhibited.

Not knowing what to say, they stared at each other for a while until Cagalli could bear it no longer and pulled him in, slamming the door shut and hearing the safety locks activate in a complicated series of clicks and whirrings and beeps.

Feeling terribly unsure of herself, she began hesitantly, "How was your day?"

"Fine," he replied, and his voice was somehow bitter, "More importantly, how was yours?"

"Fine," she started to say as well, but he cut in unexpectedly before Cagalli could speak, and his words were biting, "Of course, your day was busy. Cavorting around and doing foolish things I thought you were wise enough not to do, and truth be told, I didn't even imagine you would do. But you do realise that your little expedition today was as foolhardy as opening the door without checking it wasn't a lunatic with a gun or something?"

His question was left hanging in the air and he was staring at a fascinating spot behind her, not looking at her, not daring to in case he lost his temper completely. Ohterwise, he might have done something unforgivable to the one person he would have given up his life for, if she had only put her arms around him, kissed him, and made that request.

Cagalli stared at him, aghast in horror, but then anger swept over her uncontrollably, and she exclaimed in a jumble of words, "Don't say that! I knew it was you at the door, and about today, I-, Kisaka told you about it, I told him not to!"

"I'm glad he did what he did today," Athrun interrupted harshly, looking straight at her for the first time that evening, "Otherwise, I would have been kept in the dark for a longer time and made a bigger idiot than anyone else."

"How could you say that?" Cagalli demanded rashly, "I did what I did for our sake! I had to be sure Thornier wasn't going to come and set up some trap once he was released, didn't I? And what I did was- what I did, I don't think it went against your wishes, it wasn't anything stupid, was it? And even if it was in your eyes, what's it to you?"

And she realised what she had spewed out in her anger and in the heat of the moment, and her eyes grew wide in horror when the full extent of her careless words hit her hard. She looked at him, afraid at what she would see, and found her fears confirmed. He didn't look livid or anything of that sort, in any case, Athrun rarely lost his temper. Now he just looked emotionless, like he was trying to pretend he hadn't heard her say all that awful things that she had irrevocably did. And that made her more guilty than if he had raised his voice and shouted at her.

They sat there in a sort of pregnant silence that she loathed with all her being until she felt too tired and too miserable to continue keeping up the pretense. She didn't know what to say either, so she managed a weak, "I'm going to sleep now," and without looking at him, Cagalli ran, helter-skelter, up the long, winding stairs into her old bedroom. She hadn't slept there after she had married him, it was very strange how it contained all her old things, virtually untouched, and how her new bedroom was down another separate corridor in the same, big house. But now she would sleep there, because Cagalli didn't know how to face him.

And Cagalli didn't cry, she was too proud and fierce for that. But the realisation that her marriage wasn't going exactly like in the story books made her stomach drop as she sat on her bed, trying to think of what to do next. Subsequently, she was saved the trouble, because the footsteps outside the corridor were approaching and becoming louder, and Athrun was in the room before Cagalli could snap her fingers and think of what she could do best in the strange, remote situation.

She could barely make his features out, it was semi-darkness but she could still sense his presence and the stiffness around him. Why was he always so remote and foreign when he was unhappy, why didn't he just let it all out at one go, she wondered silently, still sitting int he darkness and trying to pretend she didn't exist. Then Athrun spoke, and his voice was emotionless.

"You lied to me," he stated. He could have said it accusingly like she might have if she were standing there like him, but he didn't. Athrun might have shouted and railed or ranted, but he didn't either. And that stung more than if he had slapped her across her cheek. She looked up at him, glad there was some form of a shield so he wouldn't see she was trying not to sniffle, and Cagalli protested softly, "No, I didn't."

"You lied to me," he repeated, and he voice shook a little, and the bed creaked sadly as he sat down, next to her. Cagalli looked at him, and he pressed closer to her, and some light illuminated half his face, and she felt the pain in his eyes.

She wet her lips, making a failed attempt to restart a sentence and explain that she hadn't exactly gone and done anything stupid against his wishes, because it was all subjective. And she wanted to tell him that she had Kisaka to help her and that she had done what she did because she wanted to fulfil her promise and keep him safe. But all words failed as Athrun spoke up first.

"You can lie to anyone," he said evenly, guiding her by the shoulders so she faced him in that all-essential darkness where they couldn't see each other very well but were beginning to see better, their eyes getting used to the darkness by now, "You can lie to your ministers, you can lie to Kira, you can lie to Lacus, you can lie to anyone, but don't-"

"Don't what?" she spat, provoking him without knowing what she was really doing in the darkness.

"-don't ever, ever lie to me," he ended evenly, still cupping her shoulders tightly, and his voice was still calm, but she detected a termendous strain in it.

And she made a decision in that split-second, and she threw her arms aorund him and hugged him very tightly. He was motionless, and she panicked for a while, thinking that he still held it against her, but then, his own arms coiled shyly around hers, and she managed very awkwardly, "Sorry for making you worry. But I did what I did because I didn't have a choice."

"What were you thinking?" he whispered in the darkness, "You went to see someone who tried to kill you before. What were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to make sure he didn;t have any intention of coming to hunt you down," she offered numbly, resting her head against his shoulder, "So I went to find him first."

"Why would he come after me?" Athrun asked in bewilderment, "Other than the fact that he might want revenge for his foiled assasination attempt, of course. But I'm relatively unknown compared to you, especially where his grudge is concerned."

"Not that," Cagalli explained wearily, still not letting go of him, "His next target could possibly be you because he has a strong grudge of any union of coordinators and naturals of any nature."

"But," Athrun began, and then he stiffened, understanding everything suddenly, and his grip on her shoulders were tighter than ever.

Then he drew in a deep breath and shook his head, and his voice was harsh.

"Let him come after me," he tried to assure her, "I don't believe I can't make him pay if he tries anything of that sort. You don't have to assign me your bodyguards, in fact, I think I make an efficient one already."

"No, not that either!" she cried impatiently, abruptly pushing herself off, "You don't understand that I can't have anything happening to you!"

And they both remembered the time they had spent on the Archangel, when they promised they'd protect each other after they had met again, as if fate had guided them back to each other. He hadn't meant to lose his heart to a rash, fiery, beautiful girl like her, but the irrevocable truth was that he already had, ironically after their first meeting on the island when he had tried to kill her. Meeting her again had been a sort of play by the Fates, and by that time, he had already defected from ZAFT and found himself growing dangerously attached to her during the first war on the Archangel.

Something wept in him, but all Athrun could do was guide her head to his chest and hold her there silently for a very long time.