Disclaimer: I own nothing of GS/GSD. R&R Please.

Chapter 24

Cagalli wracked her brain, desperately trying to think of something to say.

She could comment about the weather, it was a glorious day, azure skies that reminded her of Lacus's gaze, thick white clouds that mimicked the veil of a bride strewn over a calm face, and the strong breeze that she would have felt better if Athrun had unwound the windows of the car.

But she was thankful he didn't, they both didn't like to be gawked at, and she didn't feel quite up to waving to the PLANT citizens in Aprilius, it was far too removed from her ways, and she instinctively knew that Athrun felt exactly the same.

She could comment on how well he looked, and this would have been somewhat of a lie, because she hadn't exactly looked at him, and while he seemed to be fine from far, impeccably dressed, composed as always, she knew there was something simmering underneath.

She could comment on how excited PLANT was for this event, and it would have been the unpleasant truth, unpleasant for both of them, for the anticipation was highly lacking in either.

The newspaper reports and the gossip column, especially, had been showing the gowns on the runways that were being pushed to the people and the various guests of the soon-to-be-held event. It was highly glamorous, the ZAFT ambassador was reportedly going as the Mad Hatter, and it made Cagalli curious to know what his assistant, Meyrin Hawke, would turn up as.

There were rumours that an internationally renowned designer was dressing Lacus Clyne, and since then, Cagalli had read about an influx of similarly acclaimed designers pushing their work to the other guests, to see and to be seen at the event. Heck, she was getting calls from these designers herself, and she politely declined all after she had received the first who had called. Now, she was regretting it, he had wanted to jet over to PLANT on the day of the ball itself to dress her.

"Dress me?" She stuttered, clutching the phone like it was an atomic bomb that would activate the minute she let go.

"And Chairman Zala," the man exclaimed in a thick accent she couldn't quite place, maybe Italian or something, she concluded dubiously, "And your measurements and his will be perfect."

He rolled his 'r's so much, she thought he was having a seizure.

"We'll see," she had said helplessly.

Athrun was now dressed in a well-tailored ash suit, formal like her ORB uniform, but without the tie and his shirt slightly unbuttoned to facilitate the weather. She caught herself admiring him and muttered, 'Damn you.'

He didn't hear her, and if he did, he chose not to reply.

So she remained silent and hugged her bag. She noticed in the review mirror, that the security car behind was following closely but not too conspicuously. It wouldn't do to appear like the mafia, she reminded herself, and smiled sheepishly to nobody in particular.

Periodically, she took glances in secret at her- well, not exactly husband, but she didn't know what to think of him as now. They were still officially married, Cagalli thought wistfully, and yet-

"How have you been?" She said shyly, looking at the dashboard and still holding her things protectively. His green eyes shot to the review mirror, and she felt strangely uncomfortable and ill at ease, even more so that he was looking at her reflection and not at her.

"Fine," He said politely, a bit stiffly, "And you?"

She echoed his reply, "Fine."

The awkwardness lingered blissfully even after her monosyllabic answer was given, and he kept silent and she looked more shy than ever.

When she had boarded for PLANT, she had been a wreck inside, so much so that she was glad that Kisaka had dealt with everything she needed, she might have messed it up otherwise. On the shuttle, she had nearly wanted to run to the captain and tell him to head back to ORB, but she was strapped in her seat and her eyes were glazed with memories and regrets. And those were the most sickening, regrets.

When she had arrived, there were people who stopped to stare and point at the Supreme Commander of ORB and the smartly-dressed bodyguards behind her. Rainie was the only one who didn't wear dark shades, she said they got in her face, and so people stared at the very young girl who was looking remarkably well-versed with the rather stern looking, elder bodyguards. Kisaka told her to relax, he would be here only for a few hours to see to things and then he'd get back to ORB to manage it on her behalf, since most of the cabinet was with her now for the event.

Cagalli had smiled reservedly at the PLANT citizens who ogled and waved spiritedly at her. It was only expected, many famous people were arriving as well, and one had been on the same shuttle as her, the PLANT ambassador to ORB, a distinguished young man who tried to make conversation while they were on the trip, until her polite replies made him slightly perturbed at her lack of interest in anything he said.

When she had stepped out and cleared the checks and the people who stopped to try and speak to her, her heart started its gain of speed, and she was afraid that people would notice her clammy hands and her clenched fists. Athrun was waiting for her with two bodyguards from PLANT headquarters, and she realized that they'd gotten wind of her coming and assumed he'd come to fetch her and sent two people to accompany him even though he was perfectly capable of handling himself and guns.

He had been standing near the car with shades, and people didn't stare so much because they couldn't really see his face. But she had stopped a bit and known, straightaway, that it was him. But she couldn't run to him and throw her arms around him like she might have done once, because they were in public and more significantly, they were separated.

He had seen her, immediately taken off his shades and approached her, but with a slight hesitation in his step, but they'd hugged for somebody's sake, they weren't sure who, their or the small crowds of Coordinators who had gathered to cheer around them, and she realized as his arms encircled her back and waist, how much she'd missed this. They didn't kiss although he politely touched her cheek for the sake of the people who were watching, and she gritted her teeth and smiled painfully. It must have been apparent, for his eyebrows proceeded to shoot to his hairline but he hid it reasonably well.

But he pulled her into the car a second later and the bodyguards milled into the second one and they'd been on the road ever since. It was easy to let the purr of the engine do the talking, but this couldn't continue. Not if they were to stage their act successfully until it was time for the truth to be told.

"Where are you taking us?" She asked hesitantly, wondering if she would dare give a penny for his thoughts. Cagalli didn't know what he was thinking, but she rarely did when he had the inscrutable mask put into place on his handsome face. It hurt her little that he was treating her in this way, but she didn't suppose it could be helped, after all, she initiated the separation.

'At least neither of us will be hurt anymore than what we've been already,' she told herself firmly, and felt a little more controlled.

Athrun cleared a light and replied, "Kira and Lacus want to meet us for lunch."

There was a slight apprehension in his voice.

"Oh," she said numbly, "I haven't told them about-," she looked at her hands, clenched in her lap, "-us, have you?"

He looked distinctively hurt under the cold glaze of his eyes and firm set line of his jaw, at least he had taken off his shades for her sake, "I haven't. We'll have to hold through this then. Just be- normal."

"Alright," she acceded softly, "And Athrun?"

She paused, looking quietly at him as he moved into the driveway and the car behind them moved along the road to watch from a respectful distance. He finished the parking in the spacious lot that was adjacent to Kira's residence, and looked at her, suddenly wishing he hadn't. He hadn't looked much at her for the entire time, when they'd met at the shuttle grounds, when he'd driven, when they'd embraced, by his force of habit, admittedly, he had avoided her eye, knowing that she was doing the same. And now, seeing Cagalli full in the face, remembering the features he had tried to forget for half a year and slightly more, it was a punch in his face that he loved her, damn it, he did.

"What is it?" He asked, wondering why his voice was so husky and suddenly realising the reason was sitting next to him in his car.

"I'm- I'm sorry," she told him quietly, "I should have told you-,"

Her voice faltered and she looked dismayed at her failure. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, perhaps she was trying to tell him that she should have told him that it was a mistake on both their parts, she never meant for them to be separated, it was just a matter of wrongs judgment on that day, a matter of overwhelming feelings, and that she wanted him back with her-

He leant forward, close enough for him to capture her breath with his lips, and then she looked away and concluded, "I should have told you about the separation I wanted in a more tactful way."

She failed to notice the way he had leant in, she was too captured in her own thoughts and Athrun wanted to slap her silly so she would notice, but nevermind, he thought furiously, if that was just it then he'd-

Something twisted in him and he turned away, just as she did, and the moment was badly shaken. 'So that's it?' His mind was shouting in a futile rage, 'So that's just it?'

"I admit I was badly affected," he said coldly, "But I never expect anything more of tact from you."

Wondering if he had meant to hurt her, she stared blindly, trying not to feel like something was being ripped and ripped again in her gut, but he was still courteous although decidedly cold. He got out and helped her out, taking her hand a gentleman would have, and leading her into the house where Kira and Lacus were waiting to receive them.

And Cagalli spotted Lacus, promptly pulled her hand out of Athrun's, not quite noticing a 'hey' that had nearly torn itself from his lips, and she raced to embrace Lacus, who giggled and bear-hugged her. They were like little girls talking excitedly, and Kira came out and more leisurely, shook hands with his best friend, the other hand occupied with balancing a toddler on his back.

"We've been waiting," Lacus announced cheerfully, coming from the front and bringing them in, "It's timely that ZAFT decided to hold this event, although it's been a whirlwind of activity for the past month because of it. I'm glad neither of us have been included in the planning."

She was as attractive as ever, perhaps even more so after experiencing motherhood. Her dress was a pretty checked gingham with strawberries printed on the cotton edges, and Kira seemed to complement this with his loose, cream-coloured shirt and casual pants. Cagalli stared at them, her brother and her friend, and felt a welling of tears in her eyes, but forced it down. She had been so tempted to run to tell Lacus everything about what had happened, but pride and love of her independence had prevented it. It wouldn't do to break down here in front of Lacus, she told herself angrily, they'd wonder what the hell was wrong with you.

"It's fine to see both of you," Athrun said sincerely, looking at Kira and Leon. The latter was dressed in an orange overalls which were a little too big but added to his waifish charm, and Leon was gurgling and looking at Athrun with huge blue eyes and a shock of chocolate hair that highly resembled Kira's, all the while sucking his thumb, and Kira noticed this and gently removed it, the child still perched on his back.

"Aren't you going to greet your Uncle and Aunt?" Kira asked gently, his eyes focused on the toddler.

And Leon shook his head but said in the childish fashion toddlers were so accustomed to, but only with more eloqeunce, "Don't know how."

"Don't call me uncle," Athrun grinned, "Avuncular terms don't suit me well. And Leon, how old are you?"

"Three!" The boy exclaimed proudly, "I can walk already!"

"Then why'd you ask me to carry you?" Kira asked teasingly, bouncing the boy until he whooped with glee and bubbled over with laughter, accompanying the grown-ups' own laughter.

"Tired of walking," Leon said easily, and slumped over, his tiny fists grabbing Kira's hair like the reins of a pony. Kira chuckled indulgently, and Athrun thought how much fatherhood suited him, although it looked somewhat like an elder brother and his baby sibling.

"Lunch awaits," someone called from behind, and they turned to see a plump, cosy househelp at the doorway, beaming. Leon somehow slid down his father's shoulders like a slid, and Kira scarcely seemed to notice. 'Habit?' Athrun thought dryly.

And the child, unnoticed by everyone except Athrun, ran to Cagalli and gazed up at her.

Preoccupied, the rest of them grinned at the house help, and Athrun inquired about her, resulting in Kira explaining briefly, "She's a part-time help we brought in to help with Leon as well, and Leon adores her. She was livid when a woman from the paparazzi managed to sneak in and get a lock of Leon's hair to sell as memorabilia, she got hold of the offender and threatened to shave her bald if she tried that sort of rubbish. So you can see," he smiled at Lacus who was introducing the housekeeper to Cagalli graciously, "She's invaluable."

'I wonder what she's like with a gun,' Athrun found himself thinking wryly.

"Oh," Cagalli interrupted in wonder, "He looks like Kira."

They all turned around to see her bouncing the three-year-old on her knee, and Leon was laughing and talking to her deliriously and hugging her for balance. She cuddled him and he buried his head in her chest lovingly like a puppy that knew it was loved. And a shard of jealousy and pain barbed like wire around Athrun, if only that hadn't happened, she would be with him, with their child, like this, forever.

"Enough with the playing," Lacus commanded sweetly, "I insist we sit down properly to partake of the meal, lest you two leave without staying long enough."

And Cagalli reluctantly let go of the child and Leon looked a bit woebegone, but he ran after her and tried to climb in the seat next to hers before Kira picked him off so Athrun could sit. And Lacus kept laughing and telling Kira that his son would be a Casanova of sorts. Cagalli scowled, but Athrun knew she was pleased, and his heart ached more than ever.

It was uncomfortable to be sitting next to her when he hadn't even seen her for a half a year and more, and unfortunately, Lacus noticed it. If Kira did, he remained silent. And it was highly disconcerting.

It first manifested when Lacus requested that they pass her the water jug. Cagalli reached for it, along with Athrun, where it had sat comfortably between them, and her hand ended up on his. She recoiled and Athrun nearly dropped the jug.

Stunned, Lacus stared at them. "What's going on?"

Cagalli glared at her fork and Athrun looked awkward, "Nothing," she said eventually.

Kira chewed thoughtfully, his eyes sharp but his mouth occupied with food.

The second time, Lacus asked sweetly, daintily dabbing her lips with a napkin, "Are you planning to go out together after this to see Aprilius?"

"Not with him," Cagalli said without thinking, spearing something with her fork, and Athrun involuntarily dropped his own with a bit of a clatter.

And Lacus stared in shock.

Kira was carefully feeding Leon and continued doing so while simulating 'ahs,' and 'open wide'. His eyes were a bit narrowed.

"What I meant," Cagalli corrected hurriedly, "Was not with-out Athrun, I can hardly imagine what came over me."

"Neither can I," Athrun said drily.

Lacus' eyebrows shot up and she stared, wide-eyed.

Kira drank some water silently. His eyes were almost violet slits.

"In any case," Lacus asked demurely, recovering from some of the strange nature of the situation, "How's it been with both of you apart for so long?"

"Manageable," Athrun answered swiftly before Cagalli could foil things more, "There's the phone, letters, and the odd proposals at work we get with the other's name signed on it. If you have a good imagination, it helps."

'Liar,' His mind grinned and he muttered a shut up to himself.

"Right," Cagalli said, catching on quickly enough, "I miss him though."

The sincerity in her voice and the slight shyness of her eyes made Lacus smile gently and Athrun feel slightly more at ease, although he wondered if she was warming up to the act they were putting on, or she was truly sincere. He reached for a napkin and unwittingly, so did she, and they ended up in the same situation as before and he recoiled this time, dropping the napkin entirely, and he cursed inwardly at their lack of impromptu acting skills.

Lacus was staring again.

Kira was shuffling the vegetables on Leon's plate to make them look more appetizing even though they were exactly the same Brussels sprouts and mashed peas.

"Er," Cagalli said awkwardly, putting her hand down on the table, "I-,"

So Athrun seized the moment and clasped his hand above hers, holding it entirely.

'Don't recoil,' He prayed desperately, hoping his thoughts would reach her, 'Don't bloody recoil.'

Thankfully, she didn't, and Lacus smiled at their display of affection and proceeded to tell Kira, "They've been missing each other dearly."

"Sure," Kira said absently, playing with his own vegetables, "But no matter, there's the upcoming event, they'll be with each other for the entire time and then at the end of the year, the arrangements will be finished and Athrun can get back to ORB and Cagalli."

This time, both of them were carefully minding Leon who was trying to dump his vegetables on Lacus' plate when she wasn't looking. They declined comment.

"What will you be dressing as?" Athrun suddenly said to Kira, realizing he couldn't very well turn up in his white commander uniform when the invitation so specifically stated otherwise.

"A Japanese merchant," Kira answered thoughtfully, patting Leon's head and ignoring the boy's pleas that he couldn't finish his vegetables, "I need to borrow sandals, I think, I'm not sure if Lacus' eager helper provides those."

"And you, Lacus?" Cagalli asked unsurely, not keen to discuss their marital affairs if possible, "What are you going as?"

"Secret," Lacus said girlishly, "Not mine, but the designer's. He supplied everything for both of us but we can't reveal what it is because Du Maurier is not keen to have others copying his ideas. He's dressing Madame Sutherland for the opera, and a few other couture designers tried to copy him. He was telling me how livid he was, but I didn't really understand his French."

"Trust me," Athrun said pointedly, "The other designers who have offered to dress the politicians are doing the same, so it doesn't really matter. And besides," He grinned bemusedly at the unruffled Kira, "Your husband's let the cat out of the bag. I can guess what you're going as Lacus."

"Something of that nature too?" Cagalli guessed in wonder.

"Perceptive," Lacus replied chuckling, "Or you have a designer who's offered to supply both of you matching attires?"

"Yes," the latter two said in unison, "But I declined."

"What are we going to do now?" They asked each other at the same time, and blushed at their synchronized words. Lacus laughed merrily and said obligingly, "I can call Du Maurier, he's got at least twelve options that he tried to force us to go through, Kira and I just picked the first one we saw."

"In fact," Athrun said guiltily, "I haven't randomly picked anything yet; I'm not sure about Cagalli myself."

"I brought a normal gown," she told them sheepishly, "I didn't think about it much. Kisaka told me it's a huge event and the media expects something grand out of this, but I'm not sure if I'm up to it. Like I said, I didn't think much about it."

"She was thinking about me more," Athrun said nastily, for his revenge, "The dress is nothing compared to me."

She looked horrified and then she recovered and snarled, "Vice versa, he was too preoccupied with thoughts of me."

He glared at her, not too overtly in case Kira and Lacus realized it wasn't exactly a joke, and proceeded to kiss her on her cheek because he knew it would make her uncomfortable in front of her brother and Lacus.

She squirmed and Lacus, who was looking at Kira, didn't notice.

"Look how loving they are," she said jovially to Kira, "I wouldn't have thought of it! And I certainly wouldn't have imagined anything like this either!"

"Really?" Athrun retorted in mock surprise, caught in the childish although private spat he and Cagalli were engaged in, "Have you imagined anything like this?"

He caught Cagalli full on the lips, his fingers forcing her face towards him as he bent down.

Kira smiled calmly, Lacus giggled, Leon sulked about his vegetables, and Cagalli blushed like a badly bruised tomato. When he broke away, she hit him on the arm and said angrily, "What was that for?"

"For everything you've done to me," He concluded genially, enjoying the kiss he had stolen but relishing her discomfort even more.

"You mean, 'done for me' and not 'done to me', don't you?" Lacus said curiously.

They were both silent, eagerly avoiding each other's eye.

"No," Athrun concluded darkly, 'I meant exactly and precisely what I said, that was for everything you've done to me."