Date : 15.08.2007
Title : Loves' Past and Present
Author : ElaineDex
Chapter : 4 of ?
Rating : M
Pairings : Lt. Col. John Sheppard/Lyssa Hunter
Major Evan Lorne/Dr Ellie Harrison
Warnings : Angst/hurt.
Spoilers : This story is part of a series and follows on from Love's Dance With A Stranger.
Feedback : Yes
Disclaimer : Dr Ellie Harrison, Major James Reece, Lt Franks & Heather Russell are mine. Lyssa Hunter belongs to Kazavid. Stargate & Stargate Atlantis, unfortunately, have nothing to do with me.
Summary : Find out how Sheppard and Lyssa's wedding plans cause chaos on Atlantis and what happens when tragedy strikes for Ellie and Lorne?
Whilst Ellie was having the D&C done, Lorne went to get some coffee in the mess hall and he groaned when he saw Heather approaching him.
"Not now", he said but she reached out and touched his arm.
"I didn't know you and Ellie were having a baby".
"We're not…….not anymore", he replied and Heather sighed.
"I know and I just wanted to say how sorry I was", she said and Lorne nodded, looking down at the coffee he held.
Over by the tables, Lyssa turned away and looked at Sheppard and the others.
"I feel so bad for Ellie and Lorne. I mean, I feel guilty even thinking about the wedding let alone talking about it now", she said but Teyla shook her head.
"I am sure Ellie would welcome any talk that does not relate to the subject of babies", she said and Lyssa sighed.
"Maybe".
"I'm gonna take Hope by to see her later", Ronon said, watching as Heather and Lorne parted company and Lorne left the mess hall, probably to go back to the infirmary.
"She'll like that", Lyssa said watching, as was everyone else, as Sheppard kissed their son's downy head as he held him close to his chest and she could tell that everyone was thinking their own sad thoughts for Lorne and Ellie's loss.
After a few moments, Rodney's voice broke their silent reverie as he said,
"Hey, maybe I could help with the decorations for the wedding….you know the bunting and stuff that you'll probably want hanging all around the city".
Lyssa and Sheppard exchanged a glance and Rodney groaned loudly.
"Don't tell me! Someone else already got that job didn't they?", he huffed and Lyssa sighed deeply as she replied,
"Well….we sorta gave that task to the Athosian kids that live here in the city".
"Right. Okay then, that's perfectly fine. I'm sure you'll come up with something for me to do soon right?", Rodney answered and Lyssa nodded.
"Yes Rodney, I'm sure I will".
OOoOO
Ellie opened her eyes to see Lorne sat by her bed and she offered him a tentative smile.
"Hey", she croaked and Lorne leaned closer.
"How're you feeling?", he asked, smoothing her hair away from her forehead.
"Empty", she whispered and he sighed. He took one of her hands in his and raised it to his mouth, kissing her palm softly.
He didn't know what to say to her to try to make her feel better. He felt powerless to help her and he hated feeling that way.
She looked pale and as she drifted back to sleep, Lorne went to get Beckett to come check on her.
"She's fine Major. She just needs to rest up for a few days then everything will be almost back to normal", Beckett coloured up as Lorne looked at him sharply.
"I'm sorry. Obviously I didn't mean everything…….", he trailed off as Lorne waved a hand.
"It's ok Doc……I know what you meant".
Beckett nodded and moved away.
Over the next couple of days, Ellie stayed in the infirmary, Lorne by her side.
They received visitor after visitor, all telling them how sorry they were for their loss and whilst they nodded and went through the motions and put up a united front, both Ellie and Lorne knew that privately they were falling apart.
They had barely spoken, Ellie thinking that Lorne blamed her for losing the baby and Lorne thinking that Ellie hated him for not being there for her.
Once Beckett had discharged her from the infirmary he warned her to get plenty of rest and that she could only go back to the lab in a few more days time. He said she could resume off-world duties but only in a couple of weeks.
She watched one morning from one of the walk-ways as Lorne, Lyssa and Franks waited to leave by the gate. As it whooshed into life, Lorne looked up at her and waved, frowning as Heather appeared by Ellie's side.
Ellie waved back then turned to look at Heather as she stated,
"Things don't seem to be going too well for you and Evan at the moment do they".
"I don't think my relationship with Evan has anything to do with you", Ellie replied, going to walk away, but Heather rested a perfectly manicured hand on her arm, stopping her as she said,
"I should warn you Ellie, I have every intention of getting Evan back and someone as insignificant as you is not going to stop me".
Ellie stared at Heather, her mouth slightly open with shock. She lost the power of speech as the other woman continued,
"Tell me, has Evan even asked you to marry him?"
When Ellie didn't respond, Heather smiled almost cruelly.
"I didn't think so. He asked me within five months of us being together and I wasn't even pregnant so what does that tell you?"
Heather sighed and watched as Ellie paled visibly.
"It will never work between you two Ellie so why don't you bow out now whilst you still have some dignity?"
Now that the baby was gone it was one less obstacle in Heather's path and if she could break Ellie down whilst she was in this vulnerable state then the path to Lorne would be totally clear.
"I think you should mind your own business", Ellie managed eventually but Heather merely smiled.
"I'm just trying to prevent you from making a fool of yourself. Evan is way out of your league Ellie and the sooner you realise that the better", and with that she strode confidently away leaving Ellie shaking angrily.
Her hormones were all over the place and tears pooled in her eyes as she stared after Heather indignantly.
What Heather had said about Lorne not asking her to marry him went around and around in her head and although it had never even entered her thoughts before, she now couldn't stop thinking about it.
Why hadn't he asked her? Did he really think she wasn't good enough for him? She knew Lorne's mother was an art teacher, as was his sister and that his father had been a military man but she had never considered herself to be out of his league.
Until now maybe.
Suddenly a hand touched her shoulder gently and Ellie jumped and turned to see Sheppard looking at her, concern upon his face as he took in her pale colouring and tear-filled eyes.
"Are you alright? Do you need to see Beckett?", he asked and Ellie shook her head, trying to smile at him and pull herself together at the same time.
"Ah, no…..I'm fine", she replied, clearing her throat but Sheppard frowned.
"You don't look fine……I don't mean you don't look good or anything……I just mean……", he trailed off as he realised he was sinking deeper and Ellie shook her head.
"It's ok John", she said and he held his arm out for her to hook hers through it.
"Where you headed, I'll walk with you?", he asked.
Ellie sighed and linked her arm with his, grateful for his show of support even though he knew nothing of what had just transpired between her and Heather.
"I was going to go to the lab but I think I'll go for a lie down instead", she said and Sheppard nodded.
"I would. I'd spend my entire life lying down if I could", he said and Ellie had to smile at his strange comment.
She knew he was trying to cheer her up and she squeezed his arm.
Sheppard walked her to her room and then headed off, leaving Ellie to get some rest but no sooner was she alone than her conversation with Heather filled her mind once again.
She should talk to Lorne when he got back but they were barely on speaking terms as it was. How could she ask him why he hadn't asked her to marry him? If she was truthful, she wasn't sure that she really wanted to know, just in case she didn't like the answer he gave her.
'Did it even matter that he hadn't asked her?', she wondered as she went out to the balcony to look out at the ocean.
Marriage wasn't everything, just look what had happened to hers and Ronon's. She had thought she would be with Ronon for the rest of her life….until she had fallen for Lorne that was.
What if Lorne fell for Heather? Yes she had hurt him but he had loved her once. What if he fell back in love with her?
Ellie groaned and covered her face with her hands.
Her head hurt. She went back inside and took two of the sleeping pills Beckett had given her and then she lay down.
Thankfully the pills seemed to work and she fell to sleep.
She was still asleep when Lorne returned from off-world and he looked down at her sleeping form as she lay still.
He ached to just lay on the bed with her and hold her but something held him back.
What if she didn't want him? What would he do if she pushed him away? He didn't think he could handle it if she did so he turned and left the room, heading to his office. He may as well at least try and get some paperwork done.
He had been sat down at his desk for around ten minutes when Heather appeared in his doorway.
"I wasn't sure you'd be here, I thought you may be with Ellie", she said and Lorne looked at her.
"Ellie's sleeping".
Heather nodded and walked further into his office. She realised that if Ellie was asleep she wouldn't have told Lorne about their little conversation earlier and she took the opportunity to mix things up a little. She knew Lorne had seen her approach Ellie on the walk-way as he was leaving but he wouldn't know what had been said.
"I know Ellie, and you, are going through a tough time lately but she said some pretty nasty things to me earlier".
Lorne leaned back in his chair and sighed.
"So? As you said, she's going through a tough time, but I can't believe Ellie would say anything that bad to you Heather, not without being provoked, she's just not like that".
"Well I don't know where she gets her ideas from but she said she knew what I was up to and that I was to stay the hell away from you or she'd……..", Heather trailed off and Lorne raised an eyebrow.
"Or she'd what?", he asked and Heather looked away dramatically as she finished,
"Or she'd report me to Dr Weir for not doing my job properly".
Lorne frowned as something didn't ring quite true with Heather's statement.
Heather had only been on Atlantis a short time and Ellie didn't have a clue what her job entailed just yet so how could she report Heather for not doing it correctly?
"I'll speak to her later okay?", he said but Heather shook her head.
"No. Don't. It'll just make things worse…..just leave it for now. I realise Ellie is pretty upset but she has no worries about me stealing you away from her, does she?", she asked looking at Lorne in her most seductive manner.
Lorne looked back at Heather and shook his head.
"None whatsoever", he replied and Heather smiled tightly and turned to leave.
"I'll see you around then", she said as she reached the door and Lorne nodded but didn't reply.
His thoughts had already turned to Ellie and what she had, or hadn't, said to Heather.
If she had warned her off him that would imply that she still cared for him. He needed to ask her what exactly, if anything, she had said to Heather.
He pushed away from his desk and stood. He headed back to Ellie's room and let himself in to find her just emerging from the bathroom.
"You alright?", he asked and Ellie nodded and ran a hand through her dishevelled curls.
She suddenly felt self-conscious about her appearance and she smoothed at her crumpled clothes, inwardly cursing the fact that she hadn't bothered to take them off before taking her nap.
She moved to the bed and sat on the edge, Lorne moving to sit by her side.
"Heather came to see me", Lorne began and Ellie looked at him as he continued, "She said you said some……things to her before".
"And you believed her I presume?", Ellie snapped and Lorne shook his head.
"Did I say I did?", he snapped back and Ellie looked away.
"How come you never moved in here properly?", Ellie suddenly asked, completely changing the subject and Lorne blinked at her.
"What?"
"You sleep here every night but a lot of your stuff is still in your room. Why is that?", Ellie said and Lorne frowned.
"I don't know. I guess I just never got around to moving everything….why?"
"Maybe you just thought things wouldn't work out between us and thought you'd keep your own room too, just in case", Ellie said standing and Lorne stared at her.
"Ellie, what are you talking about? You're being ridiculous", he said and Ellie glared at him.
"Don't talk down to me Evan", she said and Lorne stood, anger rising at her unreasonable behaviour.
"I'm not….I….", he began but Ellie cut him off.
"I think maybe you should stay in your own room from now on. I think I need some time on my own".
Lorne's stomach lurched at her words but he forced himself to say,
"If that's what you want".
Ellie nodded, wrapping her arms around herself.
"It is", she murmured.
"Fine", Lorne replied moving past her.
"You know where I am if you need me", he offered and she nodded, blinking back tears as he left.
As she sat back down and curled into a ball she wondered what the hell she'd just done.
As Lorne walked away from Ellie's room he came to the conclusion that she mustn't care about him at all. If she did, surely she would realise just how much he was hurting over the loss of their baby and she would know that sending him away from her was not the best thing for either of them.
Obviously though she didn't see things the way he did and he had to accept her decision. He had no other option.
End of Chapter 4