1. Turn her living room into an exact replica of a CSI: Miami crime scene… and a bloody one at that.
2. Fork and T.P. both the front and backyards of her house.
3. Spike all the woodland animals with Jolt Energy Drink, so she is too hyper to sit still or clean for 3 days.
4. Buy her TNT for her birthday, and then suggest she blows up her TV.
5. Pay Emmett to blow up the TV.
6. Ask her if she's related to the Wicked Witch of the West.
7. Look at her bug-eyed until she screams.
8. Streak in her house.
9. Invite Cappie from Greek, and all his friends, to streak at her house.
10. Offer to buy her prized vacuum for $3.50.
11. Ask her if she played the evil lady in The Emperor's New Groove.
12. Taunt her with the evil Esme voice. (see above)
13. Steal her Swiffer.
14. Put her in eternal timeout.
15. Kill Carlisle.
A/N: ESME!!! We hope y'all enjoyed it. Even if you thought it was dumb-ass, we hope you got at least a chuckle. A teensy weensy little chuckle? No? That's fine, too. throws Eddie at haters Pleasepleaseplease review, and i will be your bestest freind ever! And let you hug Llamo's bf Edward! blindfolds Llamo REVIEW!
-Llama the BESTEST, better than Llamo!!