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Chapter 9-Mixed Emotions

Diana's POV

I couldn't take it anymore. The late partying. The fighting. The drinking, the drugs. I couldn't take Jesse's attitude anymore. He was becoming a different man. He wasn't the sweet, innocent, smart kid he was when I first met him. Yeah, he had a few Corona's here and there and he partied a lot with the Team, but nothing like this. He barely came around to see me and Jessica anymore. He was just out with his new crew. Partying, doping up, and racing. I wanted so much to leave him and go back home. Go back to the Team so they could help out. But as much as I wanted too, I couldn't leave Jesse. I loved him and he needed me more then ever. I just didn't know what could drive him to act like this. Back in California, he knew better then to bring drugs in Dominic's house. Now he was selling it in and out of ours, even with our baby here. I don't want my baby - our baby - growing up around that shit.

I was sitting on the deck of our blue three-story home with Jessica. We were overlooking the beautiful waves of the ocean. The colors of the sea made Jessi's eyes nearly glow. I was brushing her long, brunette hair when I heard the Jetta pull up. Sometimes I hated when Jesse came home. All he wanted to do was fight. I continued with brushing Jessi's hair when he stepped out on the deck with us.

"Hi, Di." He spoke softly. I didn't budge.

"Hey." Was all I said. The air grew silent. Only the splashes of the waves were audible.

"Can I hold her?" He asked, almost shyly.

"She's your daughter." I said, sitting her down on the wooden deck. "Go to Daddy." I said, giving her a little push. She smiled and ran around to Jesse. I didn't turn to look at them. I couldn't. I didn't want to see what Jesse looked like. He was probably high. I just stared at the ocean.

"How's my little girl? You missed Daddy?" I heard him ask her.

"Yesh."

"Daddy missed you too. I bought something for you. Let's go inside, I'll show you." He said, his footsteps going back inside.

When the sliding door shut, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I stood from the seat and walked to the edge of the deck. I sat down and flung my legs over the edge, the wooden guard holding me back. The heavy winds pushed my hair from my face, letting it flow in the wind. I swung my legs back and forth carelessly. I let my mind drift as I thought of our last fight a few nights ago, the last time we spoke.

Flashback

It was 8:55 P.M. I was lying in bed, Jessica sitting on my stomach, while Cupcake was at the foot of our bed staring at the television. I was teaching Jessica to say 'Mommy' and 'Leon'. What she came up with? 'Momo' and "Lon'. It was too cute. I just smiled and continued playing with her hands. I sat her next to me and handed her her favorite stuffed animal, a brown monkey, to play with. Watching her play, I heard the front door to our home open. I rolled my eyes. He was supposed to be home at six. That's the time when Jimmy took over his shift. But Jess was most likely out smoking or drinking. I heard his loud footsteps ascending the stairs.

"Come on Jess. Time for bed, baby." I said, picking her up. I carried her to her room next door and laid her down in her crib. I tucked her in and kissed her goodnight before returning to our room.

I jumped back in bed and called out for my dog. "Cupcake, get up here." I demanded. She peeked her head up, looking at me. I patted the bed and she jumped up, making her a spot next to me. I ran my hands down her smooth back as Jesse entered the room.

"Cupcake, down!" He yelled upon seeing her in bed. He hated her in the bed. She moved to get down, but I pulled her back down.

"Stay." She laid back down. "Good girl."

I could tell from the lingering stinch that Jesse was drunk. I wasn't about to call him out on it though. I was never one about drama. I wasn't the 'are-you cheating-on-me?' type anymore. It's not that I didn't care. If I asked him about it, he'd be honest with me. I just didn't want to ruin this for Jessica. She needs a stable family to grow up on.

Jesse took off his jacket, dropping it where he stood. He kicked off his boots and kicked them to the side. He walked towards the bed, the stinch growing stronger. He raised his fist and dropped it hard across Cupcakes head.

"I said down, stupid fuck!" He yelled.

Cupcake let out a loud yelp and jumped from the bed, running out of the room.

"What the fuck was that Jesse? Don't you ever fuckin' touch my dog like that." I growled, highly pissed off. He just rolled his eyes and jumped in bed. "I'm fucking serious Jess. What, now you're a dog beater?"

"She knows not to be in the bed. You know that." He said, simply, not caring.

"I told her to get in with me. Since you're never here to be in bed with me." I knew I struck a nerve. He sat up and pulled his beanie off his head, forcefully tossing it at a wall.

"Shut up Di. Don't start with that crap. I've had a long night." He yelled, stuffing himself under the comforters. I stood and pulled them off the bed.

"Why's that Jesse? Where the hell where you? I thought you got off work at six? It's fucking 9 o'clock Jess."

"I was out with some friends Diana, alright. Now leave me alone. I have to get up at seven in the morning." He turned over, his back to me.

"I don't care Jesse. What friends, Ralph and Jeremy? Your little fucking druggy pals? You call them friends? People who get you addicted to cocaine? People who keep you from your family for days at a time? You call them friends?" The questions shot like fire. I was beyond my breaking point.

"People who help put food on our fucking table! People who helped keep this fucking house when we lost everything! People who's helping keep this family together! I call them fucking saviors Diana!"

"Bullshit Jesse! The only reason we lost everything because you put everything we fucking had on drugs and booze! We had enough to last us years and YOU blew it Jess! Those people have done nothing for us. So what, they give a couple hundred dollars every few months or so. That's not even half of what you blew on them." He knew everything I was saying was right on point. Everything was true. He did blow everything. He screwed this family up.

"Di, what did I fucking say? I said shut the fuck up alright! You don't know shit! You sit in this fucking house, fending off of me instead of getting a fucking job!"

"Because I'm too goddamn busy being a mother to our child Jesse! Who else is gonna take care of her if I don't? It sure as hell ain't you. I'm done with the bullshit Jesse." I yelled, feeling the tears building up inside me. I wasn't about to cry though. Not in front of him, not right now.

"So am I!" He growled, jumping out of bed. He slipped his things back on and stormed out of the house.

Flashback

I shivered as the hard winds chilled the tears on my face. I hated crying, but it seemed like that's all I did nowadays. Sit home with my daughter and dog and cry. I quickly wiped away the tears with my palm as I heard the sliding door open again. I knew it was Jesse. He sat next to me, his feet hanging off like mine. We just say in silence. It was tension there, but not as much as the other night. It was sadness there, mostly. Pain. Regret. Things we never endured with each other before. Things I never wanted to endure with him. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Still hate me?" I looked at him for the first time today. He looked rough. His face was hairy and pale. His blue eyes had dark bags under them and his beanie was crooked.

"Never." I said almost barely audible. "She sleepin'?" He nodded.

"Can I take her with me? Wanna show her off some."

"Honestly, no. I know you're her father, but lately, you haven't been so much a friend to her."

"I deserve that. If it means anything, I'm sorry."

"Doesn't mean shit to me. Probably means a lot to her though." I wasn't about to forgive and forget about his behavior. It was far from forgotten.

"Don't be like that Di. Look, I know I'm fucking up okay. I wanna make it better. I'm going too." He said confidently. I looked at him again.

"Actions speak louder then words Jess. Stop talking and start doing something." I replied, looking hard at him. I could tell he was hurting, but so was I. He nodded and stood, walking back into the house.

Well, that went well.

No POV

Later that day, around 5:45 P.M., Jesse left again. Diana, Jessica, and Cupcake went to visit Tej. He was at his boathouse a few blocks away from J&J Mechanics, Jesse and Jimmy's garage. He fell in love with Diana the moment he seen her. He didn't have the heart to tell Suki. It didn't matter much, for she left him when they returned backto Miami years ago. She moved to Tokyo with some guy she met at a race. It hurt Tej, but he was moving on. Diana knew how Tej felt about her. She explained to him that she loved Jesse and could never hurt him. She looked at Tej like family, and wouldn't want to take it further than that. Tej accepted that, but his offer was still on the table. He treated Jessi as if she was his own. He bought her things and took her places, but called himself Uncle Tej around her. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea that he was her father, because he wasn't. He knew about Jesse's behavior, and promised not to interfere unless it got physical.

"Tej Parker, you home?" Diana asked, pushing open his door. He gave her a spare key to his boathouse in case things got too rough with Jess. She basically lived there.

"Yea, I'm in the kitchen." He yelled. She carried a bundled-up Jessica inside, followed by Cupcake. She shut the door behind her and sat Jessi on the couch and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, Tej. How ya doin'?" She asked, hugging him from behind. He smiled, although she couldn't see it.

"Doin' good. How are you?" He returned the question.

"Good. This smells good. Whatcha' cookin'?" She asked, walking over to the table.

"Spaghetti, garlic bread. Hungry?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at her. He couldn't help but think how gorgeous she looked. She was wearing tight flare jeans and a white tank top, a blue leather jacket over it. Her curly, brunette hair cascaded down over her shoulders.

"You know it. Where's that dog food at I bought?" She asked, taking off her jacket, laying it over the chair.

"In the pantry. You bring the whole crew?" He asked, sitting the spoon from the spaghetti pot in the sink. He enjoyed the view of Diana bent over Cupcake's food bowl.

"Yeah, they're in the living room." She responded, smiling a little. She knew he was staring. Although she'd never admit it, she enjoyed the attention she got from Tej.

Tej returned the smile and ran into the living room.

"Danny!" He used her middle name, lifting her to the sky. She giggled and shyly dug her face into his shoulder. "Oh come on Danielle. Don't tell me you're still shy around Uncle Tej? You gotta warm up to me baby." He smiled, kissing her forehead. "Just like your mom." He whispered. He bent down and petted Cupcake's head. Still a cute dog, he thought.

He walked back into the kitchen, Cupcake on his heels, to find Diana fixing herself a plate of spaghetti. She already made Jessica a fresh milk bottle (A/N: Remember, Jessica is only a little over one years old, so yes, she's still with bottles). He sat her down on the table in front of Diana and put himself some food onto a plate. He poured them both a glass of water and sat at the table.

"So, how's Jesse?" Tej asked, wanting to make things more comfortable for her. He didn't want his feelings to stand in the way of them having a friendship.

"He's still Jesse. He came by the house today."

"He showed up?" Tej asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Wanted to take Jessi out with him to 'show her off'. I wasn't having that though. I love him to death, but he just needs to straighten up, ya know." She answered, slowly twirling some food onto her fork.

Tej's heart broke, but he couldn't show it. He just nodded slowly, shoveling food in his mouth.

They continued eating and talking, some about Jesse, some about the Team. Tej was missing everyone too and couldn't wait to visit. It was around 7:30 P.M. when Jesse called Di's cell.

"Hello?" She answered, taking the empty bottle from Jessi's hands. She walked out on Tej's deck.

"I love you." Jesse slurred his words, which we followed by a tasteless laugh.

"What do you want Jesse?" Di asked, exasperated. She could here loud people in the background and could guess that he was at a bar with Ralph and Jeremy.

"Where you at? I called the house and no one answered."

"We're at Tej's."

"Why the hell are you there? Get home Diana." He yelled, the crowd in the phone cheering.

"No, Jesse. If you're not gonna be there, I'm not either. I'll be home in the morning. Dinner's on the stove already." She hung up, not in the mood for anymore of Jesse's shit.

She returned to the kitchen where Tej was cleaning up the empty dishes from the sink. Jessica was sitting on the counter next to him, playing in the soap bubbles, managing to get some on Tej's face.

"Got room for a few more?" Di asked him, her smile lopsided.

"Always." Tej smiled, wiping the bubbles from his face.

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I liked this chapter personally. I know, Jesse probably isn't being the best person right now. But I'm trying to spice it up a bit. Make it different from other ways he's portrayed in stories. Give it a chance please. Read&review.

-Kita