A Chance to Love - 4 of 10
Conversations and Intimate Moments
The television program was forgotten as they kissed and shared very private information.
John wished he'd been a better father. Jo had only been intimate once, and even then Cole was mad because they didn't "close the deal". John understood and told her that he wasn't going to rush her into anything.
Then, before they went any further, John asked her if she knew how her dad died. She knew that it was on a hunt with John. John felt guilty about shooting Bill, even though that was the only thing to do at the time. If Jo was going to hold his judgment in the past against him, he wanted to know it now. It would hurt so much worse if it was later.
"Would you like to know exactly what happened?" John wasn't sure if he should ask the question. He didn't know how Jo would react.
Jo nodded her head because she couldn't find her voice.
"It's okay, baby," John ran his knuckles along her jaw. "Can you move a little so I can see your face and hold you while I tell you?"
Jo sat on John's lap, with her legs to the side. John's arms enveloped her like rocking a child. "Our plan went awry. The hunt went bad from there. We both fought, and your dad was injured. I finished the job and ran to your dad. He was in bad shape. He was in so much pain. He talked about you and Ellen. He made me promise to keep an eye on you, make sure I got rid of anything supernatural. He loved you so much."
Jo was starting to cry silently. John paused his story. He wiped away her tears. "Do you want me to continue?" Jo nodded. She needed to know.
"Bill was a good friend of mine. When we figured out that he was beyond saving, I just held him and talked to him. When the pain got to be too much, I did the only thing a real friend could do. I took my gun out, and he nodded. He just wanted the pain to end. So, I ended it for him. It was hard to do, but I knew he'd do it for me."
Jo was shocked. "How can you be sure he wouldn't heal?"
"His chest and abdomen were ripped open. His insides had been pulled out. He was missing patches of skin that had been ripped off. He didn't want to leave you, Jo. It was his only option"
John held her and wiped her tears as she cried for the dad she didn't have many memories of. John made hushing noises as he rubbed her back. When her sobs stopped, John asked, "Are you mad at me?"
Jo shook her head. "You did what needed to be done because you cared about him so much. I can't blame you for caring about him. Your ability to care is one of the things I admire about you." She touched John's cheek, "Thank you for telling me. "
John just rocked her some more and didn't say a word. "You feel like home," Jo still sounded stuffy from crying. "I love you, John."
John gave her a surprised look, "Really? You don't have to say you love me just because I said it to you."
"I know," Jo replied. "I wouldn't tell you if I wasn't sure. After our conversations tonight, I'm sure."
They shared a kiss and then Jo settled back into John's arms. John thought, she's right. This does feel like home.
More phone calls from the road to Jo. John even started writing Jo letters, which she treasured. She reread them over and over again.
"Jo!" Ellen yelled from the bar. Jo came around the corner and was surprised to see John standing there. She ran to him. His grin was so wide, happy that she liked his surprise. Ellen had known he was coming, he'd wanted Jo to be able to get the night off.
Back at the hotel, they had another deep conversation. "What was it like to be married?" Jo asked.
"I had someone to come home to. I had someone I could trust with my life because she loved me as much as I loved her. It meant that I comforted her, and she comforted me. We didn't face anything alone--always together."
"I think I'd like to get married someday," Jo replied.
John thought it over. Another man could give Jo the marriage she desired. He had other issues he had to go around. "I live on the run, Jo. I can't get married legally because I'm listed as a missing person and I'd rather it stayed that way. We could get married in a religious ceremony. I could get you a ring. But there wouldn't be a name change and everyone would just have to think we were dating. I'd take shorter hunts. That's how I think a marriage for us would be."
"Marriage is just between two people," Jo was thinking it over." I think I'd have to have a religious ceremony for it to feel real to me. Would you really take shorter hunts?"
"I'd have to be near my wife," he smiled. He caught a glance at his hand and asked if he could keep wearing his wedding ring.
"You have worn that ring for as long as I have known you. It signifies the kind of love you give. You loved Mary with your heart and soul. It would be ok for your ring to represent your love for me. Plus, a new ring for you would cause some attention."
"Does this mean you actually want to get married to me?" John asked.
"Just waiting for you to pop the question, John."
"Where could we find you a ring?" he asked.
"Back at home. My mom has her grandmother's ring that she always said I could use for an engagement ring."
"When do you think we should tell your mom?"
"When do you think we should tell Sam and Dean?"
Ugh. He'd forgotten about that part. What would the boys say?
During John's next visit, he wanted to make sure that Jo still wanted to get married and that she'd had enough time to think about it.
Jo greeted him such enthusiasm that he had to laugh. It had been awhile since someone was that happy to see him. Jo almost toppled him over when she gave him a huge hug and started kissing him. He guessed that her mind probably hadn't changed since last time. When he broke the kiss and glanced up, Ellen didn't look upset at the sight of him, so that was a good sign.
"Still thinking of marriage, honey?" John could barely get the words out.
"Just have to ask me correctly." Jo continued, "I 'borrowed' my great-grandmother's ring from my mom's jewelry box. I have it in my purse. I don't know if she has noticed if it is gone because she hasn't said anything."
"She's not shooting daggers at me, so she must not have a clue," John was eyeing Ellen again. "Should I ask her permission to propose to you?"
"That would only be right," Jo replied. "I don't think it's a conversation I want to be in on. Why don't you head over to the bar and start talking?"
"Come on," He was feeling rattled. "I need at least one beer before facing mama bear."
"I'll get it. Then you can get to your asking," and she was off.
John, true to his word, had only one before approaching Ellen. He grabbed a stool at the bar.
"Need another one?" she asked.
"Nope. Just need to talk."
"Any idea where my grandmother's ring went?"
John averted his eyes and took a breath. He smiled and nodded when he turned back to face her," Jo's purse."
"And why would it be there?" Her eyes almost pierced him.
"We've gotten serious," was his explanation. "I wanted to get your permission to ask her to marry me."
Ellen's jaw dropped. She eyed him suspiciously. "You what?!"
"Settle down a minute, Ellen. I'm not trying to talk Jo into anything. You know as well as I do how stubborn she can be."
"I'll give you that, "Ellen replied. "I did raise a headstrong daughter." She paused for a moment. "How will married life be different for you? Still just stopping by every few months?"
"No. I would be home more. I'm still after the demon, but Sam and Dean can handle the other hunts. I love your daughter, Ellen. You know that. I just want to make her happy."
"Okay," Ellen huffed. "You have my permission. Just remember, I am going to be a in your face mother-in-law. If you don't treat her the way I think she should be treated, I'm stepping in."
"Thank you," John was relieved. "As for the rest of it, fair enough. You don't need to worry though."
Ellen just looked at him and sighed.
"We still have to work out details. Since I'm still listed as a missing person, we can't have a legal marriage. Jo has insisted on a religious one, and that's what I want to. She wants to wear her your grandmother's ring as her wedding ring."
"Ok, she can have the rest of the night off. Good luck." Ellen went back to cleaning glasses. She looked up worriedly as John walked away. She hoped she was doing the right thing.
John went over to Jo and grabbed her by the waist. "Guess who just got permission from your mom?"
Jo whipped around to face him. "Really?"
"Not only that," he continued. "You have the night off."
"I'll go place this last order and be back in a minute." She hurried off.
John had to do some quick thinking. With Mary, he proposed at a special place of theirs. He had to figure out where to propose to Jo. Jo was back in a flash and he still hadn't figured it out. He just figured he'd wing it and hope he got it right.
When they got to the truck, Jo opened her purse and gave the ring to John for safekeeping. He glanced at it and thought it was pretty. Then, he put it in his pocket.
They got to the restaurant, and Jo suggested getting their order to go. John looked down at her, and she whispered by his ear, "Let's go to the motel." He gave a little smirk and put his arm around her to pull her closer.
There really wasn't much of a choice of motels, with only two in town. John picked the nicer one to bring Jo to since he hadn't checked in anywhere yet.
They brought the food into the room and started setting up the table. They sat down to eat when John said, "Wait, just a minute."
John got out of his chair and on one knee. Jo was looking at him with her shimmering eyes. "Jo, will you marry me? I can't picture my future without you in it. I love you. I'll love you forever."
"Yes, I'll marry you," Jo had a tears coming down her face.
John took the ring out of his pocket and placed it on her left ring finger. The ring was a little big. "I can find someplace to get it resized," he offered.
"I like it the way it is," Jo replied before she collapsed into John's arms.
He was so relieved and happy. They knelt on the floor. His arms were around her and her arms were around his neck with one hand stoking his hair. John moved his lips to Jo's neck. Feather-light kisses as Jo moved her head to the side so he could kiss her some more.
He loved the smell of her perfume. Her skin was so tender and her long hair tickled his face. Jo nudged his jaw up so she could kiss him.
Slowly, fumbling, they made their way to the bed. John could feel Jo's whole body next to him. He hadn't realized that he was craving contact like that so much. After they broke from the frenzied kissing of being engaged, Jo curled up beside John with her head on his shoulder.
"What kind of wedding do you want?" John asked, realizing that he didn't have a clue as what went into planning a wedding, Mary had done that.
"It sounds silly, and I know it isn't worth it, "she confessed," but I have always wanted a white dress like Cinderella."
"That isn't silly. It is a special day and I want you to have it be your dream day."
"Hmm," she snuggled in closer. "Flowers would be nice. Just a few for me to carry."
John caressed Jo's arm as she shared her thoughts.
"Where would we be able to get married at?" Jo looked up at him. "Since it isn't legal, do we need to keep it all secret?"
"I have a friend, Pastor Jim. He would marry us, no problem. We could get married at his church or even at the Roadhouse if you want. We would only be able to have a couple people there--Ellen, Dean, Sam, Bobby, and maybe Ash, if you want."
"I'd like Ash to be there," Jo responded. "Just a few folks is ok. When do you think we should do this thing?"
"When would you like to?"
"Soon." she fiddled with her new engagement ring. "I 'd just need enough time to get a dress."
"I still need to tell Sam and Dean. Do you want to come with me for that little piece of excitement?"
"I think that is more of a father/sons conversation." She thought about it. "I would like to be nearby, though. I don't want to let you out of my sight."
John went with to the dress store. He was supposed to be giving opinions and suggestions about the dresses that Jo tried on. She got frustrated when he didn't give her much feedback. He told her that he'd like to be surprised by what she chose.
John stepped outside and called Dean while Jo tried on more dresses. He found out where Dean and Sam were and told them to stay put for a few days, that he was headed that way. He didn't give any indication what the visit was for, and they didn't ask. They were used to getting information on a need to know basis.
John also called Pastor Jim. He said he would make himself available whenever they set the date. As far as the church being available, he'd have to check the schedule. Pastor Jim knew what Mary meant to John, so he also knew how much John must love Jo. He was very happy for the both of them.
Jo came out of the dress store, tired from all the choices she'd had to make, but excited that she'd made them. She'd chosen a dress and veil. Their next stop was the flower shop. There she chose her flowers and ones for the guests as well. She told them she'd call back with the date of the service.
Back at the Roadhouse, they filled Ellen in on what they'd decided so far. Ellen thought that she could arrange the Roadhouse to have a nice ceremony there. They could move the tables and hang some decorations. Since the Roadhouse was also their home, Jo would be able to get ready in her room and not have to go anywhere to walk down the aisle.
That led to the idea of the living arrangements after their wedding day. John suggested that they could live in a home in town., and even have an extra room for if Sam and Dean.
John checked into a room for him and Jo. They moved a couple of bags into the room. John got Jo settled in and Jo gave him a kiss and reassured him that it would go okay. She grabbed a book from her bag and started reading as John walked out the door. His steps fell heavy as he made his way to his sons' room. He didn't think that this was going to be pretty.
"Sam! Dean!" He say joyfully as he walked in. He hugged each of them, and they were happy to see him. They filled him in on their latest hunts. John listened intently, trying to figure out the right words to tell them.
"So, what have you been up to, Dad?" Sammy gave John the perfect opportunity. "We don't hear from you and then out of the blue you want to meet up."
"I have some good news, really good news," John started.
"You've found the demon?" Dean was hopeful and seemed ready to go and kill the thing.
"No, Dean," John struggled to continue on. " I have decided to get married."
Sam and Dean looked at each other with a loss of words.
"Who?" Sam recovered quicker than Dean.
"Jo."
"Ellen's daughter?" Sam was catching on quick while Dean was still trying to let it soak in. Sam looked at Dean, knowing that Jo had wanted to date Dean at one time. That couldn't be the Jo that his dad was referring to.
"Yes, Ellen's daughter."
"When did this happen? How? Did you just quit loving Mom?" Sam was the only one firing questions. Dean just eyed his Dad and waited for his responses.
"I didn't quit loving your Mom, Sammy. She will always have a place in my heart. But, she is gone. One day, I saw Jo smile and I felt something that I haven't felt in so long. We started seeing each other several months ago."
"But Jo is our age. She wanted to date Dean!" Sam seemed confused.
"We know our ages, Sam. She is over ever wanting to date Dean. We are both happy. She's actually in another room here, waiting to see you guys."
"She's here?" Dean finally came to life. "This is quite a bit to sort through right now, Dad."
"I know," John sounded understanding. "It won't change much for you two except that Jo and Ellen will always be a part of our family. They've seemed like family to us anyway."
"Are you giving up looking for the demon?" Sam asked.
"No, I won't ever stop tracking the demon. I plan on staying a little closer to home once we're married. I figured you two are more than capable of handing the other hunts. I'll always be available for backup or research, that kind of thing. Wherever I call home, you and Dean will have a place there, too. We'll actually have a home. What do you think?"
"Give us some time, Dad," Dean sounded exasperated," This is a big deal to just spring on us."
"Okay. How about I get Jo and take you two out for dinner? It might make it a little easier to accept when you see us together."
Dinner was a little awkward to put it mildly. They lingered after they were done eating. Conversation was easier after they'd been there for awhile.
For the first time that they could remember, Sam and Dean saw their Dad happy. He'd looked that way in old photographs of him and Mary but they hadn't seen him like that in real life. John seemed to smile and laugh more. Jo brushed his arm a few times during the meal. She looked like light. After working in the Roadhouse for so long, they were used to seeing her in the dim, smoky light. Her smile was brighter than they remembered. Dean regretted having brushed Jo off in the past, but he was glad to see how Jo and John brought out the best in each other.
They had Ellen's blessing, and Sam and Dean gave theirs, too, although it took longer than it had taken Ellen.
Sam and Dean congratulated John and Jo and gave them each a hug when they said goodnight. They let out a collective breath when they closed their motel door behind them. It was all still weird and needed some time to sink in.
John couldn't get the door unlocked quick enough with Jo whispering sweet nothings in his ear. They got the door shut and their lips could not get enough of each other. When the kisses slowed down, John slid a hand under the waist of her shirt. Jo's skin was so soft and warm.
John looked down at Jo, trying to read what she was thinking. She put her fingers on the top button on his shirt and undid it. And the next one. All the way down the line until she could reach her arms around him, underneath his shirt. She laid her cheek against his bare chest and the hairs there tickled her skin. John continued to caress her back with his calloused hands.
John took his hands away from Jo's body to remove his shirt. Jo ran her fingers all over John's skin. There were scars on his torso, old and new. John clicked on a small desk lamp and went back to feeling the skin on Jo's back.
"Can I take this off?" John tugged at her shirt. Jo nodded. She stepped back and John's thick fingers had a difficult time gripping the delicate buttons to open them. Luckily for John, there were only 6 tiny buttons at the top. Then, he pulled the shirt over Jo's head.
Jo just stood there for a minute in the dim light. John gazed at her. Her long hair was below her shoulders. Her bra was white lace and it cupped her perfectly. John's eyes followed her cleavage and longed to see what the delicate fabric was concealing.
Jo saw John's warm eyes. She reached behind her back and opened the closure. John just watched at the fabric got looser. Jo was looking directly at him, making sure he saw.
John stepped closer and moved her hand away when she went to push the straps off her shoulder. Jo hooked her fingers in the belt loops of John's jeans. John took one finger and slid the straps off slowly, one by one. Jo tossed the garment aside. John cupped her breasts, taking in everything about them--how they looked, their weight, and how they felt in his hands.
"Come with me, Jo," his voice was low as he took her hand. He led her to the bed. They stretched out beside each other, half-dressed.
In the heat of the moment, John slipped a finger under the button of her jeans. "Don't," Jo whispered. He felt her body stiffen. "I haven't yet," she bowed her head like it was something to be ashamed of.
John brought her face to his and kissed her. "That is not a problem, honey. It isn't something we need to change tonight." After her body had relaxed some, John whispered, "Just the jeans, ok? They won't be comfortable to sleep in anyway."
"Okay," she breathed the words against his neck. John's hand touching her belly while he worked the button made her stomach quiver. He unzipped them methodically, he was in no rush. He gently worked them down over her hips and tossed them aside.
"What about yours?" Jo asked. It was too dark for John to see Jo's face. Part of him was thankful for the darkness because his answer was, "Honey, I'm already packing. I'd better keep my jeans on."
Jo laid with her head on his chest and he worked his fingers through her long hair. They weren't asleep, just resting. John's voice rumbled in his chest as he asked, "Did you have someone hurt or scare you, Jo?"
"Why are you asking?"
"Just because your whole body tensed when I touched your jeans."
"I'm sorry about that," she didn't look up at him but curled up more so her head was further down on his chest.
"It's nothing to be sorry for, Jo. I'm just asking if someone scared you. I know how some hunters can be. You're going to be my wife and I want to know if something doesn't feel right to you, or if there is something in the past we need to deal with," John tried to explain, which isn't easy for a Winchester.
"We need to deal with?"
"Yeah. We're planning on becoming one. Your bad feelings, even those in the past, are something we need to deal with. It affects the both of us. But don't ever apologize for it. It is just baggage. I come with some, too."
"Okay." Jo was silent for a long time. John thought she'd fallen asleep. "Guys have been treating me like an object for awhile. Some hunters are just that way, you know?" John made a sound that she took as agreement. "Then, one guy seemed different. I was so stupid to have been taken in by his stories. They were mostly lies, anyway. We went out a few times. On our last date, he just popped himself out and said something, I don't remember what. I do remember how much he and it scared me."
"I'd never scare you on purpose," John's voice seemed to soother her nerves. "And I would never let anyone or anything hurt you, including any part of me." There was silence. "You need to trust me, Jo, totally. Just like I trust you. We'll always have each other's best interest at heart. It is something we can work on, if we don't have it now. We love each other and the rest of it will fall into place if we work with it."
"I believe you." Jo started to uncurl, "And I trust you." She rested her head on his shoulder. John was just glad that he knew what was going on. He just held her, protectively, for the rest of the night.
In the morning, John watched Jo come out of a hazy sleep. "Good morning, honey."
Her response was a sleepy smile.
"Do you realize that I forgot to bring you home last night? Have you had a sleepover before or is it something that Ellen will be on a rampage for?"
"I told her where we were going," Jo wiped the sleep from her eyes. "If she was worried, she does have your cell number." She sunk back into the curves of John's body ad rested some more.
"Want to talk a little about last night?" John played with her hair, not wanting to push her but yet wanting to make it better.
"I suppose," she didn't want to look directly at him, and that was okay.
"Do you want to tell me who scared you, Jo?"
She shook her head.
"Do you want me to help you become more comfortable with us?"
Jo nodded her head.
"Okay, " John replied as he pulled Jo up so she was lying beside him. He looked directly into her eyes. "We need to work together at this." He was silent contemplating what to say next. He'd been Mary's first, just as she'd been his. But, Mary didn't have any additional issues with being intimate except that she didn't want to become pregnant until after they were married.
"What about that night scared you? Was it something he said or did?"
"It started out okay. We were just kissing and cuddling. I hadn't even noticed anything had changed until he pulled this huge thing from his jeans and said what he was gong to do with it."
"Was it something out of the ordinary, or maybe something you're just not into?"
"I don't know," was her totally honest reply. "It just made me want to get out of that car and get home."
John just nodded. "Had anything like this happened before? Had you been that far before?"
"Just touching over jeans," she admitted.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night. I just wanted you to be more comfortable as you slept. I wasn't trying to push anything. Whenever the time is right for you to go further, let me know. No pressure here."
"Okay," she nodded. She hesitantly moved one of he hands lower to his stomach. "Can I touch you here a little?"
"Only if you want to, Jo."
She moved her hand to the waist of his jeans, over the button and moved slower as she followed his zipper down.
"It's just me," he voice was quiet. He placed a hand on top of Jo's and moved it gently to the side where his bulge was. She didn't pull her hand away or tense up. She just let him lead. He quivered when she touched him, "That is just how I respond," his voice was reassuringly. He lifted his hand from atop hers and she didn't seem to notice. She moved her hand very little, but she was taking it all in and her muscles were still relaxed.
Once Jo got used to the feel of what was under her hand, she embarrassingly asked John if she could feel him a little closer. "If you're sure you want to," John tried to keep his voice steady. "Just so you know, I'm going to respond to your touch. That's just the way it works. But, I'm not going to push anything."
John let Jo be in control. She got the button undone but only moved the zipper down partway. Then her gentle hand caressed him some more. It was hard for John not to move. He tried to keep his breathing steady. It had been so long. But, he was old enough to know that he had to be careful, he didn't want to startle her.
She unzipped him all the way and a sound escaped his lips. "Did I hurt you?" Her attention was turned back to his face.
"No, honey," he laughed a little. "Did Ellen ever have a sex talk with you?"
She shook her head.
"Okay," he moved and motioned for her to rest on his shoulder, "we need to talk." Jo settled in and looked up at John.
"I should know this stuff," Jo was frustrated with herself. "I'm sorry that I am so embarrassed that I don't. I've just learned by trial and error and didn't get to this point."
"That's fine," John brushed her hair back from her face. "Mary and I learned together. It was awkward and frustrating at times. But I can share with you what I've learned. Love is something you make together. No one acts or reacts the same. Everyone has their individual likes and dislikes. We will learn about each other together,"
Jo nodded her head.
"You didn't hurt me, Jo. You just made me feel so good that I couldn't help but make a sound. I tried not to."
"Was it uncomfortable for you?" Jo had such an innocence in her eyes.
John shook his head. "It is just that once things start going on down there, it is very hard to shut them off. When you finished unzipping, you set that part of me free. That's the reason for the sound." Jo was still looking at him intently. "Once so much pleasure has built up, it needs to be released. You don't need to worry about it because it is something I can do myself. You can still get comfortable with that part of me, just don't be surprised if I leave the room. It isn't because I am upset. I just need to release."
"Does my touch feel different that yours?" Jo asked.
"Yes," John admitted. "All I have felt is my own hand every now and then since the fire. It feels much better when it is yours."
"Can I see it?" Jo couldn't believe she was being so forward.
"Sure," he laughed a little. "Just let me slide out of my jeans and shorts."
He settled back onto the bed. "Does it always look like that?" Jo asked.
"No, just when it is being touched or the thoughts in my head turn towards intimate situations."
Jo reached out and laid her hand softly on him. "Your skin is so silky. I had no idea it would be like that." She was quiet for a minute. "How do you know if it is going to fit?"
"It will fit," John assured her. "It is just a matter of being gentle and allowing the muscles in you stretch if or when they need to. The first time hurts for you, because there is a thin piece that needs to be broken to allow me in."
"How bad does it hurt?" Jo asked before she remembered she was talking to a guy and turned beet red.
"Well, all I know about it is what happened with Mary. She cried a little and there was some blood. The next couple times she was sort of sore, too. But, it is something that goes away. That's when making love becomes more enjoyable for the lady. I'm sorry to keep bringing Mary up, but she's all I know. I don't know how it goes for other women."
"What happened when Mary started to cry or got sore?" Jo wanted to know how John had reacted when things in the bedroom didn't go smoothly.
"I retreated and held her," John was surprised to be relating intimate details of his life with Mary to his wife-to-be. He decided that Mary wouldn't have minded. She would have wanted to ease Jo's fears. "I just need to know what you are feeling, and if it is unpleasant, we stop. I would never push myself on you or continue if I knew you were hurting."
Jo breathed a sigh of relief. John could see her mind processing away when he looked into her eyes. "Isn't there friction?"
John nodded. "There will always be lubrication to make the friction feel good and not bad. Sometimes, if the lady is stressed out or just can't be in the moment enough to produce enough lubricant to make herself slippery, there is store-bought lubricant that can be used."
"I would be too shy to buy that in such a small town."
"Then I will just in case we need it one day. What do you think about birth control? That would be in the same aisle too, that's why I am asking."
"Should I be on the pill?" Jo wasn't sure how to go about it, but she'd try if it was something John thought she should do.
"That depends on you," John answered. "The pill would provide constant protection from pregnancy. I know they have condoms, but there are probably other items out there since I needed them. There is also the rhythm method, not always dependable, when I would pull out before I climaxed."
"When do we have to make the decisions by?" Jo bit her lip.
"No timeline. Just let me know."
"How about our wedding night? Isn't that kind of a tradition?"
"Doesn't have to be," John answered. "If it is something you want to do, we can. If you don't want to, we can wait. I don't want our wedding day or night to be something you stress about. Just let me know when you are ready."
"I don't think I want to take the pill," Jo said. "I've heard all the warnings and it doesn't sound good."
"Do you want to have a baby?"
"Lately I have been thinking so. It's just such a change from wanting to be a hunter."
"Do you still want to hunt?" asked an interested John.
"Sometimes," she admitted. "I dream of having a home and family more, though, lately. Before I didn't think that it was an option for me. Do you want a baby?"
"It seems strange that I'm this old thinking about a baby. It doesn't seem like that long ago that Dean and Sam were babies. I know I'd love a baby if we were lucky enough to have one. But, if you don't want to have a baby, that's okay, too. Then, you should probably be on the pill."
"Maybe we could just do the rhythm method," Jo decided. "You know your body well enough to know when to pull out, right?"
"But it isn't one hundred percent. Are you willing to take that chance on having a baby?"
"Yes. Just not right now."
John just kissed her. "Not right now is fine with me."