A Chance to Love - 6 of 11
Married Life
John had found a job at a garage where they paid him cash for each day's work. He still had to keep a low profile. He was gone when Dean and Sam arrived home.
They used their key after no one answered their knock. They were a little cautious out of habit, especially since Jo was usually home during the day and her car was out front. No one was in the living groom.
"Hello!" Dean announced their presence. "Anyone home?"
Silence. Then came a weak, "In here," from the bathroom. It was Jo, but she didn't' sound right.
"Jo?" Sam started to walk down the hall but then noticed the bathroom door was open. He stopped where he was. "Are you okay?" No response. He slipped up the hall little by little until he saw a bare foot lying across the floor. "Can I come in?" Sam started to panic. This time he didn't wait for a response. In no time his long legs had him in the room. He could hear Dean's footsteps behind him.
Jo was lying on the floor in her nightgown that had crusted over vomit on it. Sam knelt down by her and took in what he saw while he tried to get her to talk to him. "Jo? It's Sam."
"Sammy," her voice sounded dry. She was white and clammy. She opened her eyes, searched for Sam's face and whispered a plea," Help me."
"Dean," Sam saw his brother in the doorway," grab a couple blankets."
Sam pinched the skin by her wrist and it tented. She was dehydrated and needed to get help now. Dean returned with blankets.
"Jo," Sam got his arms around her to lift her up," we're bringing you in." When Sam got to his feet, Dean covered Jo in a blanket and held onto the other one. They rushed outside. Dean helped Sam get into the back with Jo.
Dean sped them to the hospital while Sam tried to get Jo to speak to him. "Flu," was all she could get out. Dean cast a worried glance at Sam in the review mirror.
Once there, Jo was whisked off to a room. Sam and Dean answered questions the best they could. Dean went outside to call John while Sam waited in the waiting room.
John was confused. Yes, they'd had the flu a couple of weeks ago. He thought Jo was fine or he wouldn't have gone to work that morning. He rushed to the hospital, thinking that it was a long time to have the flu, praying it wasn't something more serious.
He ran into the reception area and Sam and Dean stood up to meet him. They hadn't heard anything yet. John fought with the nurse to let him back to see Jo. "I'm her partner," John argued, wishing he could say 'husband' but that had to be their secret. "We live together and go through everything together. Jo needs me." The nurse relented and let him back.
Jo was hooked up to an IV. She looked so frail with a green hospital gown and a blanket pulled up to her chin. Her skin looked pasty and clammy. "I'm here," he stroked her hair, and settled in to wait.
Dean was not good at waiting. He shuffled through magazines, hummed and kept looking at the door John had gone through. Sam looked at him and said, "Easy, dude. Just calm down and wait."
"I hate waiting," Dean spat out.
"Staring at the door isn't going to help," Sam looked so relaxed, reading a magazine.
Dean shot him a look in response. He was mad that Sam was right.
John came into the room. Dean told Sam," See, I just had to keep willing him to do that. It worked."
"He would have come out now, either way," Sam replied but knew he would never win this argument with Dean.
John was smiling as he got closer. Sam glanced at Dean, who looked as confused as he was.
"Thanks for bringing her in, boys," John's low voice had a tone to it that the boys had not heard before. Then, he hugged Sam and Dean, who were confounded at this point.
"How's Jo?" Sam voiced up.
"She's still sick. They are giving her fluids right now," John answered. He huge smile spread across his face, "She'll be fine. She's having a baby."
Two shocked faces looked back at him. Then they congratulated him.
"I didn't pick up on it because your Mom didn't get sick with you boys," John explained. "Now there is a whole new list of what she can and can't do. She isn't supposed to lift anything heavy or let herself get worn down. She needs lots of rest and I have to pick up nausea pills and prenatal vitamins. We need to keep her calm. It is so important that Cole not try to cause trouble right now."
Dean and Sam stayed home for awhile, until Jo's morning sickness got better. John went to work because they needed the money. Sam and Dean were able to do research from home. Sam checked frequently on Jo, bringing her crackers and flat soda. Dean didn't do any of that because he wasn't used to being around women like that. Sam and Jess had lived together and he had picked up on how to take care of a woman when she's sick. Also, Dean still felt a little guilty for brushing Jo off in the past and regretted it, too. He was happy for John and Jo, it was just that part of him wondered what if.
They heard racing footsteps in the hall and Sam stood up automatically. He grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen and then found Jo clinging to the toilet. "I brought you a glass of water, Jo," Sam had knelt to her height. "Want a nausea pill?"
"Just make this go away, Sam."
"Don't know how to do that, Jo, but I can get your medicine. It's been long enough since the last dose."
"Okay."
Sam got the pills and came back in to see Jo struggling to stand on her wobbly legs. "Wait," Sam put an arm around Jo's waist to steady her. Once he got her to bed, he went back to get the water and pills.
After she took one, Jo tried to find a comfortable spot, "Thanks, Sam." Her eyes closed and though Sam doubted that she was sleeping, at least she was resting.
"She all settled in?" Dean asked as he looked up from the computer.
Sam nodded. "She's very weak, though. Is she supposed to be like that?"
"How would I know?" asked Dean, shocked that Sam had asked him that.
"Do you remember anything when Mom was pregnant with me?"
"Nope. I barely remember the fire. Oh, yeah, I couldn't sit on her lap anymore in the rocking chair and that ticked me off in a major way," Dean replied. "You were getting under my skin before you were even born. Is that what you were looking for?"
"Not exactly. Should we call Dad?"
"Yep. We can bring her in if he thinks we should."
John was at another odd job when he got Dean's call. "Bring her in," John instructed, "and have one of you stay with her until I can get there. I have to finish up this car and then I'll be right there."
"Okay," Dean snapped his phone closed.
"So, do you want to tangle with the nurses to get back with Jo or should I?" Dean asked Sam.
"How about you tangle with them and I'll go back with Jo." Sam replied. "We might need you to cause a distraction while I get back there. Once I'm back there I don't think they can kick me out."
Dean nodded.
The boys went into the bedroom and got Jo. "We're going to bring you in," Sam quietly explained as he gathered her up with some blankets."
"Do you need to bring anything?" Dean asked Jo.
"Why are we going?" Jo asked.
"Dad said we should," Dean answered. "We just want to be on the safe side."
Sam went to pick her up and she protested," I can walk."
"I've seen your version of walking," Sam replied and he lifted her up," and I didn't think it looked too steady. Just let me do this so we can get you there."
Sam set Jo in the backseat and then got in front. Dean had them going as soon as everyone was in.
Getting past the nurse in admitting was so easy it was almost pitiful. "How did you get back here?" Jo asked.
"You know we have our way around the rules," Sam replied.
Jo just smiled. "Your other half must be nearby."
"Waiting Room. Watching Dean try to wait patiently is almost funny. He's like a 6 year old."
"What does he do?" Jo relaxed as Sam talked to her.
"Oh, he hums Metallica, paces the floor, flips through every magazine without reading a word, and then starts with the faces and noises."
"Faces and noises?" She obviously never had to wait with Dean.
"All the huffing and puffing, you'd think he was working out. Then he goes to using each and every face muscle and making the weirdest faces. Dad used to tell him that his face could stay like that when he was little. Dean didn't listen very good back then, either." Sam was smiling.
Jo was quiet for awhile with her eyes shut. "Is John coming?"
"He just has to finish his job," Sam answered. "He wanted one of us to stay with you until he got here."
"Sounds like him," she murmured and fell asleep.
The IV was dripping and the blood pressure cuff kept inflating, beeping with the readings, and deflating. Sam idly watched the numbers, not sure what they meant. He hated how sterile and bright everything was.
A nurse came in and seemed surprised at first to see him there. "I'm Sam, one of her friends. Her partner is on his way and he wanted me here until he comes." She didn't seem to care. She marked down some vitals, checked the IV and left the room.
Jo started to wake up and she seemed a little better after the rest. A radiologist brought in a machine, "The doctor wants an ultrasound. Would you like to have your guest wait in the other room or be present?"
"Sam can stay," Jo sounded a little scared. She reached for his hand. He gave hers a reassuring squeeze.
"Is this your first ultrasound?"
"Yes." Jo seemed unsure. "Should I have had one sooner?"
"Depends on your obstetrician. Who is your obstetrician?"
"I haven't picked one yet. Could I have a list of which ones are taking new clients?"
"Sure. Now we'll check this out to make sure that you are both ok. We should be able to get an estimate of how far along you are." The nurse put the goop on her belly and then started to move the instrument in small movements. Sam and Jo both looked at the small screen.
"Everything seems ok," she said. "You are about 16 weeks along. Would you like a picture for your partner?"
"Yes, please," Jo was choked up after seeing her little bud of a baby.
"Just get some rest and the nurse will be back in to check on you," the radiologist said as she left.
Sam looked at the picture. He could see where some body parts were but developing babies don't look like the ones you hold. Jo had drifted back to sleep. Sam's mind drifted to Jessica. The babies they would have had. He missed her so bad in that instant. He'd gotten better and didn't constantly think of her. There were periods when he would forget, the pain would lessen, and then Wham! Some memory or dream would come back to hit him like a bus. This was one of those moments.
"Can someone named Dean come back?" a nurse asked in a hushed voice. "He's causing quite a stir in the waiting room."
"Send him in," Sam replied, knowing that Dean might be a little at ease back with them before he started having problems sitting still.
Dean almost walked past the room. He took three steps back and found their room. Jo was sleeping. "How is she?" Dean whispered.
"Look at this," Sam handed him the photo.
"Damn!" Dean's voice was louder. "What's wrong with this baby?"
"Nothing," Sam snapped back. "And hush. You don't want to wake Jo. She needs her rest."
"This is what a baby looks like?" Dean was still unsure.
"It's what a 16 week along baby looks like," Sam answered. 'They said everything was okay."
"Dad will be so glad to hear that. I don't know what he'll think of this picture, though."
John came back to their room. Jo was asleep with Sam holding her hand. He was slumped in the chair, half asleep. Dean was fidgeting, pacing and driving himself nuts.
"Looks like I arrived just in time to save you from yourself," John looked at Dean.
"I don't know how Sam can stand it here. I need to be outside, driving, chasing things," Dean started to walk past him. "Sam will fill you in, but both mama and baby are fine."
"Thanks, Dean," John gave him a hug. "we'll see you as soon as Jo is discharged."
Dean left to go pace in the parking lot while he waited for Sam.
"Sammy," John touched his shoulder. "What did the doctor say?"
"She needed more fluids and she had an ultrasound," Sam showed him the picture.
"Is the baby supposed to look like that?" John asked.
Sam's response was an annoyed look.
"They didn't have ultrasounds when you guys were born. This is new to me."
"The baby is fine for being 16 weeks along. They are going to give Jo a list of obstetricians who are taking new patients. She needs to get in to one." That was all the information Sam had for John.
Thanks, Sammy," John gave him a hug. They switched places. Sam stretched and walked toward the door. John took Jo's hand and kissed her forehead.
"John," Jo's voice was soft. "I'm glad you're here."
"Sammy filled me in and showed me our beautiful baby," John continued.
Sam smiled on his way out the door at how his dad had recovered from seeing the ultrasound picture for the first time to telling Jo about their beautiful baby.
John sneaked up behind Jo at the Roadhouse and put his arms around her thickening waist. "Hey you," he said. "How are you feeling, honey?"
"You tell me," Jo turned around and her belly bumped into John. She stood sideways so she could lean against John's chest. His hand immediately went to her belly. He rubbed it in a soothing way.
"You feel great to me. Is the little one giving you any trouble?"
"I think the baby went all out with knees and elbows about twenty minutes ago," Jo told him. "Must be tired by now."
"How's the mama doing?"
"Tired."
"Let me help Ellen and then you can put your feet up."
Jo's old room was still kept up. John brought her back into her childhood bedroom, and put pillows under her feet when she laid down. He covered her up and closed the door quietly.
"She asleep?" Ellen asked.
"Close to it." John replied. "So how do you feel about becoming a grandma?"
"I'm not old enough and it isn't fair. We're around the same age and you'll be a parent again and I get the title of grandma. Do I look like a grandma to you?"
"You'll always look like an Ellen to me," John got a big smile. He busied himself behind the bar. Ellen came to him with drink orders and he filled them. Folks sat at the bar and he served them.
"How dare you come here!" John looked up to find Cole glaring at him.
"I'm helping out," John answered. "What would you like to drink?"
"I want Jo."
"She's not a drink and she's not available." John stayed calm.
"Thought I told you not to come back here," Ellen showed up at the bar.
"I figured I'd stayed away long enough."
"Long enough for what?" John asked.
"Long enough for Jo to tire of you and beg me to take her back," Cole snapped.
"Well, it hasn't happened. Anything else I can help you with?"
"I want to see Jo."
"Why," Ellen asked.
"I never got the chance to apologize or say goodbye," Cole faked an excuse.
"Will you leave and never come back if I allow you to see Jo," John's voice was steady.
"Yes, I will," Cole agreed.
"Okay. Don't get too comfortable then. I'll go get Jo and then you can be on your merry way for the rest of your life." John left the bar and went into Jo's room.
"Honey?" He woke Jo up. "Cole is here and he said that he'll quit bothering us if he can see you to apologize to you and say goodbye. Then he said he'll be gone for good."
"Sounds like a deal," Jo dragged herself off the bed. "Then, can we go home?"
"That shouldn't be a problem."
Jo grabbed his arm and walked out into the Roadhouse. Cole was still hanging around the bar. Cole's eyes got huge when he saw that Jo was expecting. "Cole," she looked across the bar at him," you wanted to talk to me?"
"Wow. I didn't expect that you'd be----I mean-----"
"Pregnant?" Jo broke in." Just had to meet the right guy, I guess."
"I'm sorry for how I treated you and how we broke up," Cole started. "I wish I could take back the mean things I said and did. I guess I just wanted to see you so I could say goodbye. I'm headed for the coast for good. Hunting doesn't suit me as well as I thought it would."
"Goodbye," Jo gave him a small smile. "Apology accepted. Good luck on the coast. You'll meet the one for you, Cole. It just wasn't me."
"Well, I guess I've said what I've some to say. Goodbye." Cole turned around and walked out.
"Did that seem like an act to you?" Ellen asked John.
John shook his head. "I'm not sure. Is it okay if this gal goes home for the night? If Dean or Sam are home, I can send them over to help."
Ellen laughed," I don't know if I could handle their kind of help. Dean would be flirting and Sam would be talking to Ash about hunts. Just go home and we'll see you tomorrow evening."
"Bye, Ellen."
"Bye, Mom"
The boys were having a disagreement about whether something was their kind of job when John and Jo arrived home. The case was close to home. They tried to tell John about it, both at the same time.
John held a hand up," Hold up, one at a time."
Dean started explaining his side and then Sam. "What will you lose by checking it out?" John asked. "You'd be gone one day if it isn't anything supernatural and maybe three if it is." He watched the two look at each other and shrug. "Do you love fighting over the remote and hanging out at the Roadhouse more than being on the road? Home and the Roadhouse will always be here. Whatever you might need to hunt won't be."
"You're right," Dean gave in. "We'll leave in the morning after we have all the information gathered that we can find here."
"You sure you're just not getting sick of us?" Sam asked John.
"Never," John replied. "I just think you are going stir crazy, bickering, and bugging the hell out of each other. Maybe a little work would burn off some steam."
"You belong here," Jo said. "You are family. That will never change."
Sam caught a look at Jo and noticed that she'd given up on her clothes and was wearing one of John's shirts. She had a glow to her and her maternal joy was beautiful. Jo noticed Sam's glance and said," The little bugger is kicking. Want to feel?"
Sam nodded and moved over. He placed his had on her belly and felt the flutter of the life inside her. It filled him with wonder. What would the baby be like, look like, who would the baby grown up to be….. "Feels like a flutter from here," he commented.
"It feels like I kick from my side,' Jo smiled. "Dean, did you want to-"
"Nope," he cut her off. "Not to be rude, but I keep seeing the scene from 'Alien'. They are all peacefully eating when all of a sudden the baby alien rips out of the guy's stomach. I'll be great to the baby when it's out of there. I'm just not so great with it right now."
"That's ok," Jo smiled. "But you do know that babies aren't made by aliens, right?"
"Right," Dean smirked. "They're made by my dad."
John laughed.
Later that night, Jo slipped into one of John's t-shirts before going to bed. She was tired these days, so she was usually in bed before him. He was sitting up with the boys, planning their next day. John hadn't left much to hunt since they got married. He hadn't left at all since they found out they were expecting. He did research, looking for the yellow-eyed demon. He just didn't go chasing every little detail like he used to. Jo knew John must miss hunting. She loved him all the more for putting their little family first.
The three guys went to bed about the same time. As John brushed his teeth, he could hear Sam and Dean, excited about their outing. It brought a smile to his face.
He didn't turn on the light because he didn't want to wake Jo up. So, he stood in the doorway until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. First thing he saw was the pillows Jo had surrounded herself with so that she could get a better night's sleep. There were so many pillows in their bed these days that there was hardly any room left for him. Sometimes he took the place of some pillows, with parts of Jo sprawled atop him. He never complained about it. Whatever he could do to help make her comfortable.
He tried to silently creep into bed, but Jo was a light sleeper. "Come here, baby," her voice was so sleepy.
John moved a few pillows and settled in. Jo moved around until she and her belly were comfortable. "Hmmm. I like having company in bed."
"Had any visitors besides me lately?"
"Mom stopped by the other day and we just sat here, talking," was her answer. "I think I fell asleep on her in the middle of our conversation."
"That's excusable," John played with her silky hair which had grown so long since she started taking the prenatal vitamins.
"I love you, John," she laid her hand on his chest.
"I love you , too, honey," he quit stroking her hair and laid his hand on her belly. He slowly started to rub it.
He recalled when Mary was pregnant. She'd never been sick. She'd had so much energy. She'd been a little challenged when she tried to keep up with Dean while expecting Sammy. He'd loved the way her body changed when she was pregnant. He'd missed being able to monitor the baby at night by just putting a hand on her stomach. He knew if the baby was awake or sleeping just by that simple touch.
Now, he monitored this baby the same way. Jo had a harder pregnancy but the doctor assured her that the baby was healthy. At the last ultrasound, they had been asked if they wanted to know the gender of the baby. Neither of them did. That was something that was easy to agree on. Jo loved surprises.
Because of Mary, he knew little things that he could do to try to make it easier on Jo. Pillows was the first item he tried and it worked. If the baby was awake at night and not allowing Jo to sleep, making love slowly could lull the baby back to sleep. That was a technique they tried often so that Jo wouldn't be so drained.
During the night, the baby woke and all Jo had to whisper was his name. He'd already felt the movement. He reached around her belly to her panties that were squished under her belly. He slowly removed them. He felt Jo to see if her body was ready for him. She wasn't ready and she was so tired. "Just a minute, baby," he reached into the nightstand for some lubricant and worked some into Jo's folds. She sighed. Then he covered himself with it. He moved around to get positioned right. He replaced some pillows under Jo to give her some support.
When he glided in, Jo started sounds that assured him that he was moving the way that felt comfortable for her. Sometimes what he tried one night didn't work the next. He kept his motions slow and steady. This was one time when he could comfort both Jo and the baby at the same time.
Afterwards, Jo whispered," Thanks."
"I'm open for service 24 hours a day," John smiled and kissed her. "It was my pleasure. Goodnight, Jo."
Sam had one of his nightmares, so he got up for a drink of water. He heard the creaking from John and Jo's room down the hall. He wasn't quiet enough getting back to bed because Dean was awake when he entered their room.
"I didn't know they could do that anymore," Dean stated bluntly.
"Apparently they can," Sam replied. "Come on, you didn't think it was prohibited the whole time, did you?"
"How would I know?"
"I just thought that you might have hung around women enough to pick up on certain things. They have conversations about anything with each other. Didn't you ever listen?" Sam asked.
"I blocked it out as soon as I wasn't the topic anymore," Dean admitted. Figured.
"One of Jess's friends had a baby in college. I'd pick up on information just hearing Jess's end of the phone call. Then, when she'd hang up, she'd usually tell me what they were talking about."
"You wanted to hear about a pregnant lady?" Dean almost choked.
"No," Sam replied. "Jess was excited for her friend and she wanted to share it with me. Since I loved her, I listened to lots of conversations that weren't what I would have picked. But, they were important to Jess, so they were important to me."
"Did you two ever plan on a future?"
"I'd been looking at engagement rings. I'd been looking at them for quite awhile. In the meantime, Jess and I got pregnant and lost the baby. She was just coming out of that dark period when she was killed. She never knew I had planned on proposing. I never wanted her to think it was because of the baby. After the baby was gone, it was all I could do to hold myself together and try to help her."
"Did she get sick like Jo?" Dean asked. He knew there was more to his brother's pain than what he'd already said.
"Just a little," Sam went on. "She was doing okay, no problems. I used to love to feel her lower belly where I knew our baby was growing. Just knowing the baby was there made it a special connection to me." He fell silent for awhile, thinking of how to explain the next part so Dean would understand. "I was working on homework when Jess yelled for me from the kitchen. She was doubled over in pain and blood dripped down her leg from her denim shorts. The panic and fear on her face, I'll never forget it. I called for an ambulance. Then I scooped her up and held her while she cried into my neck. At least by holding her I was doing something. I felt powerless. There was nothing I could do to fix it."
"Couldn't the doctors do anything?" Deans' voice was soft in the dark.
"No. They had to let the miscarriage run its course. I just held her hand and we cried while her body rejected our baby. I tried telling her that there were other babies in our future. She couldn't even look at me. She thought she had failed me because it was her body that didn't nurture our baby like it should have."
"How do you get through something like that?"
"Day by day. Slowly it got better. We never could take down the ultrasound picture from our fridge. That's the only picture I'd ever get of our baby and it went up in flames with Jess. That it why I might have jumped the gun about bringing Jo in. I'd been in a bad situation before and I wouldn't wish it on anybody."
"Why didn't you tell me before? Or at least call Dad?" Dean was trying to understand what he heard.
"Dad had told me not to come back. That door was closed. You are more into one-nighters and I didn't think you'd understand the issues that come with a committed relationship."
"But I would have listened. I could have come to college to try to help the two of you. I might not have personal experience in that department, but I would have tried to understand. You're my brother. Don't you realize how important you are to me?" From Dean's voice Sam could tell he was hurt.
"I just couldn't think any further than the two of us," Sam explained. "Our very existence depended on each other. I tried to go to class, but Jess spent many days in bed, crying. I learned that there was nothing I could say to make it better. I just had to hold her until she started to heal. Our friends didn't even know about it, and we hadn't told them about the pregnancy in the first place. Jess wanted to keep it a secret until she was further along. She had me for support and didn't need to lean on friends regarding the baby. Afterwards, they seemed to know that something had happened, but they never asked what."
"Some friends," Dean commented. " A real friend would want to know what happened so that they could help."
"Like a brother would?"
"Damn right." Dean grew quiet. "You talked about taking care of Jess and getting her through it. How did you get through it?"
"I buried it deep in my mind. Jess's death was about two months later. I just shut out what I could. Jo's pregnancy brought it back to the surface. Now sometimes it feels like yesterday." Sam rolled onto his side.
"Sammy, you know what you need to do, right?"
"If I knew, Dean, I would have done it back then."
"You need to talk to Dad. Soon. Like as soon as we get back from this hunt."
"What could Dad do about it?" Sam asked.
"Who knows what he could do? He might be able to help make Jo's pregnancy easier on you. Just do it, dude. Even if it is just to let Dad back into your life. He's welcomed us into his."
"Okay, Dean. I'll try to bring it up to Dad after we get back. But, you have to get Jo out of the house or keep her company here while I talk to him. Jo doesn't need to hear it. She doesn't need to be upset."
"Agreed."