A wet-faced Megan paced the length of the kitchen muttering while the others watched. Jack had taken water from the sink to splash her with again to wake her. Barbossa was picking at the breakfast plate Megan had left unattended, but she didn't seem to notice. After a few minutes of pacing and muttering, she stopped and turned to face them.

"Okay," she said. "This whole situation was really unexpected for me. I never expected that the whole lot of you would suddenly turn up in our time, and I really didn't expect stragglers to turn up, too." She glanced at Barbossa, who narrowed his eyes at her over his mouthful of bacon.

"We didn't really plan on poppin' in here, either, love," said Jack. Megan sighed. Just then the phone rang and Barbossa made a motion like drawing a sword, but there wasn't a scabbard on his belt. Everyone stared as he sat back down with a sheepish look. Megan answered the phone. When she identified the caller, she put it on speakerphone so that the rest could hear.

"Tawn, before you say anything…Barbossa just showed up in my garage," said Megan.

"What?!" Everyone stared at the phone in amusement. "Where is he now? Raiding the apple tree outside?" Megan turned to look at Barbossa and saw him staring out the window at said apple tree, which was full of green apples.

"No, but I think you just gave him an idea."

"Oh, you have this on speakerphone? Cool. Anyway, Shae called me this morning wanting to know if we could take lunch break together, and she sorta let slip that she's housing Will, Gibbs, Marty, and the monkey." Elizabeth's head shot up.

"Will," she said wistfully. Tawny snorted and Norrington rolled his eyes.

"How do you let slip that you have monkeys and pirates in your house?" Megan wondered.

"Beats me. We're talking about Shae here," said Tawny. "She wants to get together tonight and have a big pirate party."

"Oh, great," muttered Beckett. Pintel glared at him and cracked his knuckles. Beckett gave him a wary glance and scooted away.

"Get together where?"

"Your place. Most of them are there, anyways." Megan leaned against the counter and sighed.

"Of course. Sounds great. We'll be crowded as hell, but bring it on," she said, rolling her eyes. Ragetti giggled at her facial expression.

"What's so funny, Elizabeth?" asked Tawny. Everyone in the kitchen blinked.

"Erm…that wasn't me laughing. That was Ragetti," she said.

"Dude…Ragetti. You sound like a girl when you laugh," giggled Tawny. Ragetti blushed and sank low in his chair as some of his fellow crewmembers laughed. Megan drummed her fingers against the counter.

"Anything else, Tawny?" she asked impatiently.

"Geez. Chill out, chica! I gotta get to work, so I'll see ya later!" They hung up and Megan turned to face the others.

"Wot the hell's a chee-ka?" said Pintel.

"It's Spanish for 'girl.' Anyway, we need to go shopping again for the party tonight. I'll give y'all time to get ready and we'll go," said Megan. She started to head upstairs, but stopped and looked at Barbossa. "Um…will one of you guys lend him some clothes? Thanks."

The men exchanged reluctant glances as she left the room.

- - -

"Ragetti! Pintel! Get back here now!" Megan yelled, shuffling around clothes racks in pursuit of them.

"Me eye is rollin' away!" yelled Ragetti, scrambling around on his hands and knees. Passersby were starting to stare at the two rough-looking men frantically chasing a wooden eye. Finally, Pintel got a hold of it and thrust it at Ragetti. Ragetti drenched it in a wad of spit and popped it back in with a squelch. Several onlookers made noises of disgust. Megan grabbed both of them by the arm and led them away.

Meanwhile, Jack and Barbossa had wandered into the lingerie section and were staring around, jaws hanging open. A group of teenage girls walked by, giggling and batting their eyelashes. Both men gulped simultaneously. One girl had a shirt with a green apple pattern and wasn't pleased that she attracted Barbossa's apple crazed gaze.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer, ya perv!" she said, and dragged her friends along with her. Pintel, Ragetti, and Megan showed up shortly after to find Barbossa and Jack staring at the pictures of the models on the packs of underwear as if they were holy relics. Pintel and Ragetti quickly grabbed a pack for themselves and proceeded to drool all over them. Megan rolled her eyes at them.

"Have you guys seen the others?" she asked.

"I…I-I-I don't know, but I think I need a toilet," uttered Jack. He lumbered towards the dressing rooms, still clutching the pack of undies. Megan walked after him, trying to snatch the pack from him.

"You sicko! You can't take those with you into the bathroom!" she yelled. Jack ignored her and threw open one of the stalls of the dressing rooms, muttering something about toilets. To his surprise and horror, the stall was already occupied. Beckett let out a very unmanly shriek and tried to shield anyone's view of his red speedo. Jack let out a yelp and promptly dropped the pack of undies as he stepped backwards and tripped over Megan, who had dropped to the floor in the fetal position with her hands covering her eyes.

"Imbeciles! Shut the door!" yelled Beckett, and he slammed the door.

"Mental scarring!" whimpered Megan. "I can't find a happy place in my head!"

"That makes two of us, love," said Jack. Megan rolled over onto her back and opened her eyes, but found that she could see right into the stall right next to Beckett's where Norrington was admiring his rear end in some tight-fitting swim trunks. Their gazes locked in the big mirror and Norrington's face paled.

"OH MY GOD! Get out!" yelled Norrington, covering up his bottom with his T-shirt. Megan squeaked and scrambled up off of the floor. Jack looked at her curiously.

"What happened?" Megan just led him away.

"Let's get out of here. Quickly."

- - -

MUAHAHA! This was so eeevil, yet so fun to write! Cookies to Commodore Norry for the Speedo idea!