My darling dearest Lily flower,

I will miss you so much more than words can express but I know it's for the best. Petunia and Daddy are writing to you separately so I can tell you everything I want to.

My precious daughter, you make me so proud. You're such a beautiful and wonderful girl and I am so blessed to have you as mine. I look at you and I can't believe that God blessed me with such an amazing girl.

I know that you are a kind, sweet, caring, intelligent, beautiful, and wonderful girl. I also know, however, that you "hate" James Potter. Darling, this boy loves you and not in the puppy-love sense. He honestly, truthfully cares for you so dearly that I can't bear to see it sometimes. It makes me so sad to know my daughter's growing up; and yet happy knowing that someone loves you nearly as much we do.

Darling Lily flower, people usually get only one shot at love. I've spent enough time at the Potter Manor to know how much James cares for you. And darling, I really believe you feel the same for him. I know you think you can't stand him but at least, darling, give him a chance. For your mummy.

You know I only want what's truly best for you and I wish for only your happiness, health, and safety. The rest will come if those are secured. You are such an amazing girl and I know how much James Potter cares for you. I'm not suggesting running into his arms and confessing love and perhaps I'm meddling but I can't help it, darling.

I love you so much more than words can express. You are a fixture of joy in my life, providing me with that little smile you have. Your pretty green eyes and shining red hair only cover the outside of such a wonderfully complex woman.

I love you, Lily Catherine Evans, so much.

Yours forever in love,

Amy Evans

Tears fell onto the parchment as Lily sat in the Head's Train Compartment all alone on September 1st. Caroline and Sirius were to meet her there in after she and James were situated and had met with the prefects. James was walking the corridors at the moment, calling all prefects and probably hexing the oblivion out of Severus Snape, his worst enemy.

As the train had left the station, Lily had gazed through the window at her mother and father, standing beside the Potters, their new best friends. Lily lost track of all the evenings her parents were at the Potters and vice versa. She had spent so much time there, in fact, that she and James had developed a bit of a tolerance, if not actual friendship. Because of that newfound kinship Lily could no longer deny how cruel she had been to James Potter. Her mother's letter drove the point home. She knew James still had a crush on her, though she didn't believe it was nearly as serious as her mother made it out to be. James had almost moved on, or so she believed. There had been so many visitors of the female variety that it was impossible to imagine him lusting after her when he had so many beautiful girls wanting him. Some of the girls were so stunning to look at that Lily couldn't believe they were real. They honestly belonged in magazines of some sort.

"Hi Lily." A voice interrupted Lily's memories of watching with a small feeling of envy as tiny bikini-clad girls slid down the slides attached to the Olympic sized pool the Potters owned.

"Oh hi James." Lily answered, glancing at him. It was hard not to realize how gorgeous James was, even though she saw him almost every day since July.

"The prefects should be here in a few minutes. Any ideas on what we're meant to tell them?" He sat down beside her, glancing at the parchment she held but turning away once he saw writing.

Lily shuffled the papers away, folding her mother's letter and placing it in her bag. "McGonagall left this." She passed him a page filled with instructions.

"Alright… let's get the show on the road!" He grinned at her, stretching his arm out behind her.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him but didn't say anything. Taking her silence for acceptance, James smiled.

"What are you doing, James?" Lily asked as his hand inched toward her shoulder.

James merely shrugged, sending his arm further down to her shoulder. "Stretching, Lily."

Lily didn't bother to reply since the prefects had begun to enter. "Hello everyone," she began once everyone was seated, "James and I wanted to tell you a few things before the year begins…" she trailed off when she saw James fidgeting. "Do you have something to add?" She asked, a bit irritated.

"Well I just wanted to congratulate everyone on becoming prefects. It's a pretty big deal, even though I was never one." James grinned at the students assembled before him. "Was everyone's summer alright?"

Everyone nodded and Lily bit her lip. That was definitely becoming one of her bad habits. She'd have to give it up for Lent.

"Great. Okay, so as Lily was saying, we have some information we have to give you guys before the year begins." James began reading off of McGonagall's paper as Lily looked at him in amazement. He was actually doing things properly.

As he finished the list, James looked over at Lily. "Anything to add, Miss Head Girl?"

Lily shook her head. "You've covered it well."

James thought someone had lifted a boulder off of his shoulders when she smiled at him. He was worried she'd be upset with him for stealing her thunder or something. Instead, here he was being rewarded for being too stupid to stop talking. When he first began he had just wanted to say hello and make everyone look at him, sitting there with his arm almost around Lily Evans, but then he was on a roll, talking about what they were supposed to do.

"Well mates, I suppose you'll just have to patrol the corridors. I know that's no fun so I think we'll do it so everyone patrols once an hour for ten minutes. Prefects from each year and house meet up. Alright, dismissed." James clapped his hands. "I've always wanted to do that." He confessed to the others.

The girls laughed in appreciation while some guys joined in. Others merely glared at James, wishing Hogwarts' Golden Boy death by a ghastly potion.

Lily looked over at the girls who were ogling James, completing for his attention. He didn't seem to notice as the girls left, each one hiking her school skirt up as far as she could without being called a name. Once they all left, she turned to him. "How do you ignore them?" She asked.

"Ignore who?" He looked at her.

"The girls!"

"What girls?"

"The ones who are sitting there praying for you to notice them! They're hiking their little skirts up and smiling at you. Of course the moment I began to talk they glared daggers but while you were talking, Merlin they were in love."

James shrugged. "How do you deal with all the boys sitting there staring at you?"

"Excuse me?"

"The boys. The ones who are staring at you while you talked. One even shoved me on the way out, pushing me away from you. I suppose he was green with envy."

Lily laughed. "Green with envy at what?" She asked.

"At me, sitting there with my arm almost around you."

Lily laughed again. James loved hearing it but he hated the words she said next. "Of you and me? Bloody hell, he must have an overactive imagination!"

James didn't reply, choosing instead to gaze out the window. When he saw that Lily had occupied herself with a book, he stealthily slid his arm away. Every time it looked like he was gaining ground Lily shut him down.

Lily had opened her book but wasn't reading it. Instead she was observing James's forlorn expression. Was it possible that the look of sadness was because of her?

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, James." She said quietly.

"Mean what?"

"The you and me thing."

"Oh."

"I only meant that it's a bit soon to be assuming. I mean, we've only gone from hating each other…"

"You mean you hating me," interrupted James.

"Technicalities." Lily sighed, "but I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

James rolled his eyes. "Merlin no. No offense Lily but there's no shortage of girls who want to date me, bad though that may sound."

Lily nodded. "I know, I saw them at your house. They were bloody gorgeous."

James felt his heart jump a bit. Was that a note of jealousy he heard? "Yeah, they definitely were."

"Who were they all?"

"They were the girls who lived a few blocks down, in an apartment complex. We met ages ago and they've loved the pool."

"I bet it's not just the pool they loved," Lily muttered.

"What was that?" James asked, pretending not to have heard.

"I loved the pool too." Lily corrected herself. "It's a very nice pool."

"Yeah, it is."

Lily paused. "So you're naïve enough to believe they only wanted to swim?" She asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"No. I know they had crushes on me. I dated a few of them."

"Really? Which ones?"

James looked down at his hand and began ticking them off, one by one. "First there was Camille—that brunette, remember—and then I dated Leona Wilder but that was only for a few days. After Leona I went out with Maura, the feisty Irish girl. Maura and then Catherine and then Rachael. Rachael and I dated right before the thing at Sirius and Caroline's. I broke it off right before then."

"Why'd you break it off?" Lily asked.

"Personal reasons." James gazed over at the window.

"Come on, James. We're supposed to be building our friendship! Tell me!" Lily smiled at him winningly. "I won't tell a soul except maybe Caroline, who I'm sure knows."

James shook his head. "Do you really want to know?" He asked.

"Yes!"

James sighed. "It was because of you." He said quietly.

"Me? How? You had no idea I'd show up at Caroline's!"

"No but I kept thinking about you instead of Rachael and much as I liked her, I knew I liked you more. It wasn't fair to lead her on like that so I broke it off with her."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

James looked at her closely. "I'm not trying to guilt-trip you but you asked."

Lily nodded. "I know. I wanted to know. I'm sorry, it's none of my business."

"It kind of is. Because basically Lily, I have these damn feelings for you that don't seem to be going away. Stupid as it may sound, I've liked you since our first year, when I put snails in your bed. I've always liked you and the girls I've dated were only attempts to get over you. I understand that you don't feel the same, Merlin I've even learned to accept that you'll never like me back. I get that you don't want to date me, that's why I haven't asked you out lately. But I think I want to know one thing. Why not?"

Lily turned to face him. She saw the sincerity in his eyes, no longer mocking or laughing. "Why not? Because it always felt like a contest, a prize you wanted until you got it and then you'd throw it away. I've no need for someone who wants a trophy girlfriend, someone to look pretty on their arm and laugh at their jokes. That's what I'd be to you, James, a trophy girl. You'd have the prize, the most coveted good. Merlin only knows why people want to date me but I'm not going to be a medal someone can show off."

"You wouldn't be a trophy, Lily. I mean you would. But not in a bad sense. You probably won't believe me when I tell you I think I love you but that's alright. I'm okay with all of this. I don't even know why I'm bringing it up." But that was a lie. He knew why. He wanted to hear it, maybe hearing why could bring healing and the ability to move on.

Lily felt tears welling up in her eyes so she blinked them like mad. "It's not your fault, James. I just don't know what I want and I'm not sure of anything yet. I'm sorry I'm so awful but I just don't know what to do."

"Date me." He said simply.

'I can't, yet."

"Why not?"

Lily thought for a moment. "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Rejection."

"How do you think I've felt every day since fifth year?"

"Awful?" Lily felt smaller than she ever had in her life. She was truly scum, the worst of the worst.

"Right on one. But really, it's alright. I'm okay with it now. I've made peace with your rejection."

"Must you call it that?"

"What?"

"Rejection."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's real."

Lily looked at him for a moment and then took his hand. "Slowly. Let's move slowly. Friends first. I don't know what can come of it but maybe, maybe, no promises but maybe, we'll date someday."

James smiled at her. "That's all I ask. Friendship is enough, for now."

Lily squeezed his hand gently before letting go. "Thank you, James." She said quietly.

"No problem, Lily."

The steady movements of the train soon sent Lily to sleep, lulling her like a familiar childhood song. The only problem with the train was that it pushed her unconscious self onto James, who held her willingly. He placed her head upon his shoulder and draped an arm around her waist to keep her from flying about. Closing his eyes, he too fell asleep.

"Uh oh! Look at the Head Boy and Girl, sleeping on the job!" A teasing voice called out.

Lily started and was surprised to find herself lying in James's arms, her head on his shoulder. She looked up and screamed.

"Pippa!" Lily threw herself onto her other best friend, whom she hadn't seen nor spoken to since school ended.

"Lily!" They hugged tightly before releasing each other and grinning. "Merlin I've miss you!"

"You're telling me! It's as if you had disappeared off of the edge of the world!"

Pippa laughed. "No silly, I was in the States. I was visiting my mother and her hubby. Terribly awkward for the first few days, they've got so many children it's mad. They had horses though."

Lily hugged her again. "It's so good to see you!"

"Likewise." After their hug, Pippa smiled at James. "How've you been, Mr. Potter?" She asked, smiling.

"Bloody brilliant, Miss Frigg." The two embraced and at the end, Pippa sat down beside Lily.

"Is Caroline anywhere nearby?" Pippa asked.

"She's off with Sirius. They'll meet us here around three." Lily replied.

"Fantastic. I've missed you two so much."

"I know! So tell me about your summer!"

"It was bloody amazing." Pippa laughed. You wouldn't believe how gorgeous those boys were!"

"Your new siblings?" James looked bemused. "Incest much?"

Pippa shook her head and playfully slapped him on the knee. "Loser. No! I meant the boyfriends of my new sisters."

"Home wrecker!" He said teasingly. "How did they deal with you upstaging them?"

Pippa laughed. "Who knows? I didn't really care to see. I wouldn't have messed with the boys if they weren't such bitches to me in the first place." She explained, shrugging. "It really wasn't my fault."

"Oh yes, Saint Pippa, boyfriend-stealer of the evil step-sisters." James replied with a grin.

They continued their banter, laughing, as the train drove towards their school and the final school year.