AN: Yeah! Woohoo! It's 4:23 in the morning as I type this author note and I don't care! XD
Anyways, for the past week, I've been writing final exams…or rather the first parts. The second parts are this week x.x; So I didn't get to work on this for a while. I was so glad when I could. Be gone, exam stress! AWAY!
Anyways, thank you so much everyone for reviewing!
Ryopon: Heh, heh, just wait until you see what I have planned next. X3 Roy squealing over a pup is quite cute indeed. When he did it in episode 13…it easily became my favorite Roy scene ever. XD I like to use any excuse I can in fanfiction to bring that part out of him again, nyoho X3
Londoneye: They don't take turns doing that! Roy's ALWAYS on bottom, duh! XD /loves her Roy Uke/ I only choose a shiba inu because Black Hayate looks like one…I'd rather them have a Labrador (my favorite kind of dog) actually, but they get pretty big. X3;; Hmmm…he does seem to have it all doesn't he? But we'll see how long you hope this isn't a dream for Roy… /shot for foreboding/
It is well known that I am an evil, angst loving whore. Gahhhhhh.
IdiotsApprentice: even though we've now started communicating on Gaia, I'm still gonna reply to the review! It's so honoring to hear someone call me the "Great Fushigi Rockna" X3 I've been lucky and haven't come across much bad fanfiction of this pairing (unlike a certain other pairing…coughroyedcough…) but that's mostly because I don't read much fanfiction…out of fear that it will be crappy. But I can see how the Hyuroi fic area would have a bunch of Plot What Plots…or Porn Without Plot, cough…Yeah I can see lots of both PWP for poor Hyuroi :/ I'm glad you like this one!
Now, to set the mood of this chapter (yes, I will be trying to do this each chapter). I actually wanted to use this song for a different chapter, or if possible, not at all (I wanted to save it for a one-shot…). But the song I originally had intended fits the next chapter better, so I caved for this one. Certain excerpts from this song cover later parts of the WHOLE story, so you should go read the lyrics to the entire song. It's a good thing to do. And yes, it's Gackt again. Quiet all of you
"furitsuzuku ame no naka de/utsuroge ni sora o miageteita/kagirinaku hirogaru hate ni/jiyuu o motomeru tori no mure ga naiteita
ushinatta egao no kazu dake/kesshite uragiru koto wa dekinai no da to/nandomo sou kokoro de tsubuyaita"
-Inside of the continually falling rain/Hollowly, I looked up into the sky/With the ends stretching out into eternity/A flock of birds looking for freedom was crying out
Only your lost smiling face/Could never do anything like betray/Over and over I murmured this to my heart-
-dears by Gackt, from his album Mars. As translated by Mina-P of the Senshi Gakuen.
Okay, now I go to sleep. Enjoy. :)
-
Roy woke up slowly and with difficulty the next afternoon. His head still throbbed but his fever had gone down somewhat thanks to the rest and Hughes' constant reapplying of a cold cloth. He honestly wouldn't have woken up had it not been for the pitter-patter of raindrops outside, falling down in a heavy, consistent spray.
The first thing he did was look around the room for Maes. The chair the man had previously sat in was now empty, and Roy felt a sense of panic he couldn't explain. His sick state must've also put his mind in a needy and scared one.
"Maes?" he called out softly.
He closed his black eyes for a moment and listened. Over the downpour outside he could hear a tune being sung from what he figured was the kitchen.
"Maes?" he called again, louder this time.
In a few minutes, Maes Hughes' head appeared at the door.
"You called, hon?"
Roy sighed, and relaxed. Smiling at the other he replied, "Just wanted to know what you were doing."
Hughes smiled back with warmth. "I'm just making you some lunch. I'm glad you're up; you can't regain your energy if you don't eat after all."
Roy's smile widened. Twice he had fallen into unconsciousness in this world and both times he awoke and found Maes. Maybe this really was reality. Maybe what he had previously been living in really was a dream. No… that couldn't be possible…could it?
Either way he seemed to be in this world to stay.
He then realized what time it was.
"Oh crap, what about work!? We're gonna be late, aren't we!?" he exclaimed, sitting up in a hurry.
Hughes rushed over to get him to lie down again. "Don't worry, don't worry." He started to assure him. "I got someone to call in some sick days for us both, okay?"
Roy calmed down and let Maes push him gently back onto the bed. "The both of us? But why did you…?"
"Oh, now come on Roy. You think I'd leave you in this state?" He told him. "Now you just stay here, and I'll have lunch for you soon, all right?"
He kissed Roy on the forehead (an action he didn't realize filled Roy with much shock) and quickly left. Once he was over the shock of being kissed by the man he'd been in love with for years, even if it had only been on the forehead, Roy sighed and waited for him. Elicia-chan jumped up on bed to keep company in the meanwhile.
-.-.-.-.-
"I've got soup for sickie!" Maes sung when he re-entered the room in half an hour.
Mustang was now sitting up in bed, feeling much better save for his head and listening to the annoying patter of that rain. He greeted Maes' return with an expression of content.
"Soup?"
"Yeah. The number one feel-good food! Uh, next to chocolate. But I'm not giving you chocolate when you're sick!" Maes told him. "Anyways, I made sure to put in as many ingredients as I could that would help you get better…pretty much all vegetables. Celery, leeks, bok choy, potatoes…"
The ebon hued head cocked to the side. "Are you going to give me my lunch today, Maes?"
Hughes blushed, which was unusual for him, and as quickly as he could without spilling, brought the bowl (which sat on a plate) complete with spoon to Roy. Once thank yous and you're welcomes were exchanged, he took a seat in the chair again and watched as Roy ate the soup prepared for him.
"Aren't you going to eat, Maes?"
"No, I'm not hungry."
Originally, Roy gingerly took only one small spoonful. For starters, well…this mostly vegetable, cream based soup didn't look very appetizing at first glance (yuck, veggies)… and he had never tried Maes' cooking before. Last night …he didn't get to eat any. It either ended up on his face or in Elicia's stomach. He had no idea if Maes was a good cook or not. But he couldn't be that bad…could he?
He wasn't. In fact, he was excellent. Roy was surprised and relieved. This was damn good…despite the veggies and oh no, those were brussel sprouts Maes had failed to mention he put in, weren't they? Gracia must've rubbed off on him-
Roy stopped his thoughts. He had nearly forgotten Maes wasn't married to Gracia in this world; he was married to him. And who knew if the two of them even knew each other here? Had they still met? They met while Maes was on his desk job during Ishbal after all, if memory served him right. And he and Maes had apparently been together (although not 'married') since before Ishbal. So had they met? Roy wondered…
Now Hughes watched as Roy enjoyed his lunch in a way he was glad but also worried about. It was like he had never tasted his food before!
Then again, that may be the case. Roy's memory had drastic holes in it, like moths of amnesia had eaten through the weave only in places they found most yummy. Apparently all the places involving their romantic relationship. Not that he could blame them for liking those parts; their love was quite delicious after all.
It never crossed his mind at all that this wasn't his Roy but another who was being shown what his life could have been. After all, that was absurd.
"It's good, Maes." Roy said, grinning, deciding to stop thinking about if the other knew Gracia here or not.
"Of course it is, I made it after all." Maes replied with a huff. He then decided to experiment. "Hey Roy, do you remember that dessert I made on our 'anniversary' last year?"
Roy froze completely.
"You know the one you liked so much. You absolutely loved it." Hughes pressed on.
Roy frowned and stared at his bowl.
"Uh…yes…I do…" he lied.
"So, what was it called?"
Roy just froze. "I…..Okay…I don't remember…" he reluctantly admitted.
Hughes sighed. "So, you still don't remember anything?"
Roy just nodded. He hated hurting Maes this way, but what could he do? Come out and admit that it was difficult to remember things that didn't happen to you you, but rather to another you? That you weren't the you he thought you were?
"It must've been because of the fever. I've heard of fevers causing serious damage to some people. You must've been delirious because of it. I'm sure your memory will comeback eventually though, it can't be permanent."
That last statement sounded like something Maes had to assure himself, not Roy.
"Can you at least tell me about the dream you had, Roy?" he asked next.
This time Roy looked away in a completely different direction. "I'd…rather not…"
"Is it hard? Because I…died in it?"
Roy was silent.
"Look, dreams aren't real. They're just images our mind creates while we sleep. They don't hold meaning like those psychologists think they do. So don't worry about it Roy."
Roy still wouldn't look at him. "Doesn't mean the emotional pain isn't real."
Now Maes was the one looking away. That was true.
When Roy was finished, Maes took his bowl wordlessly and left.
-.-.-.-.-
"Maes?"
Hughes looked up from his paper. He had been sitting on Roy's beloved white couch, and looked up with a 'what's wrong?' expression.
"Yes? Hey, what are you doing out of the bed?"
Roy gave a weak smile. "I'm feeling much better, your soup must've done the trick." He quickly explained, before Maes could get up. "Uh…Maes…"
"I'll be the judge of that!" Hughes proclaimed, as he got up, ignoring the fact that Roy had just called his name.
"Maes!" Roy exclaimed, irritated, as the other came close and checked his forehead with closed eyes.
When he reopened them he spoke again. "Well…your fever IS gone…What about that headache?"
"It's gone too." Roy said, irritation visible in his tone. He never appreciated being ignored. Truth was, it wasn't gone, but whatever, he could live with it, if it would shut Maes up for a moment. "Maes!"
Finally, Hughes' attention was on him and he was ready to listen. "Uh…yes? What is it, love?"
Oh quit calling me that…Roy thought sadly. As much as it filled him with joy, it was just too weird hearing him being called that by Maes.
The name had erased Roy's irritation, and put him back in the sheepish way he was when he entered the room.
"Are…are you angry?" he finally asked.
Hughes stared at him, confused, as he pushed up his glasses. "Angry? About what?"
"About me."
"Oh."
He looked away from the shorter man, trying to figure out how to put his feelings into words.
"Well…I am angry…" he began.
The other looked down at the floor in hurt. The rain continued to pour. He knew it…
"But I'm angry about what's happened to you. I'm not angry with you." Hughes finished explaining. "Roy, you know-…no. You don't know anymore. How easy I forget. Roy, I can never get angry with you, and if I do, well, I can't stay that way for long. That's because I love you, more than anything in this lifetime, and it's paining me to see your memories of us gone like this…"
Mustang watched him with wide black eyes as he proclaimed his love. Hearing him say anything to him about love was a shock but "I love you more than anything in this lifetime" really tugged on the heartstrings. Especially since, Roy realized that the only reason that was, was because in this lifetime, Maes didn't have a daughter, just a dog. Next to that girl, Roy would never stand a chance…
"I…I'm sorry Maes…" he muttered with a shame at making this Maes sad.
"Don't be. It's not your fault." Maes said simply.
Then, he caught Roy by the waist with one arm looped around it and brought him close. "Now…is that headache really gone, dear?"
Roy blushed and looked down. They were so close… "No…"
"Then you head back to bed."
"Maes! I don't need to stay in bed for a headache!"
"Look, I don't want to risk anything-"
"You're not risking a thing! Look, Maes, just let me stay out here with you, and we can make supper together or something-HEY!"
Hughes wasn't going to hear it: he had Roy slung over his shoulders and was taking him back to their bedroom.
"MAES! It's just a headache!" Roy protested.
"And it's also just some memory loss!" Maes replied with sarcasm. "You should rest until you're one hundred percent better!"
"But Maes-!" Roy pouted as he was set back down on the bed and struggled against his new spouse to get back off again. "I'm boooooooooored just resting! I'm getting restless!"
Maes stopped trying to keep him down for a moment and stared directly into the other's onyx eyes.
"You're bored?"
Roy nodded hurriedly and multiple times, stopping at the end only to give the one above him the pleading eyes.
"Out of my skull."
Golden eyes looked up thoughtfully.
"Well, if you're really bored…" Maes began.
A smile began to appear on Roy's face…
"I could give you a bath…"
Poof. It was gone in an instant.
"What."
"A bath. Remember, you love it when I give you baths." Hughes told him with a huge grin plastered on his face.
"Uh…are you sure it's not the other way around? That you enjoy giving me baths?"
"Okay, that's true." Hughes smirked. "So, what do you say? Want to be scrubbed clean, dear?"
Oh good lord, he's serious.
Instantly Roy grabbed the ends of the covers and practically tucked himself in in five seconds flat.
"Uh, you know what!? Funniest thing! I feel really tired all of a sudden!" he exclaimed in a panic.
Hughes frowned. "Awwwwwww….really? And I was looking forward to bathing that gorgeous body of yours-"
"Maes, please! I need to rest! Get, get, get!" Roy continued, hiding his face with blankets, embarrassed to the umpth degree.
"Okay then, fine…another time…" Hughes sighed, getting up and leaving the room.
But once he was turned around he grinned ear to ear again.
Works EVERY time…even when he's missing his memory, heh, heh…
Roy tried the best he could to get rid of the red in his face. The idea of being bathed by that man excited him and disturbed him to no end. Sweet mother of--! He just…wasn't ready for that sort of thing yet…..not with Maes…
He hid under the covers some more and tried the best he could to quell his boredom. And to keep his mind off what would happen tonight…
-.-.-.-.-
It was eight o'clock when Maes finally let his under the weather beau out of bed to eat supper and have a shower. Roy came back to bed donning a pair of pajamas, rather than what he had been wearing since the day previous, and found Maes already in bed, wearing his bed clothes as well, and reading again. Elicia-chan laid down at his side, tail wagging excessively as she relished in a delightful doggy dream.
Roy froze. What he had dreaded all day had came.
He knew that the other night Maes had not slept in the same bed as him. He had slept on that chair, keeping on eye on him and his fever all night long. But now…
Roy didn't know if he was ready for this. Sharing a bed with Maes?
Shouldn't that be Gracia's privilege?
Hughes finally noticed him and looked up from his book. There was that warm smile again. "Ready for bed, love?"
Roy couldn't help grimacing. It was starting to become a habit whenever Maes called him that.
"Uh…yeah…"
"Well? What are you waiting for?" Maes asked him, returning to his book just to finish his current page before sleep time.
Mustang took in a deep breath, swallowing it down pass his lungs and into the pit of his stomach. No big deal, he'd shared a bed with countless women before. And even some men; not out of romance, but just out of necessity during war.
But those countless women weren't Maes. Neither were those soldiers he shared bedding with due to a shortage of such. Maes was different. Not lust or requirement. Love. And he was another person's man.
Not in this world. In this world he's yours. Accept that already Roy, and enjoy this dream while it lasts.
Talking a bit of sense into himself, he made small steps towards the bed, before finally reaching it and lying down. Now there were only a few inches between him and Maes, with Elicia squeezed in those inches. He stayed stiff. God, why couldn't he just be like he was with women? Why'd he have to have a bloody conscience?
A few seconds later, Maes marked his spot in his book, closed it and put it back on the bed table. He was in the process of taking off his glasses when he turned to Roy.
"That headache gone, Roy?" he asked.
"Yes." Roy lied.
"Really?'
"Yes."
"You're not lying like before are-"
"I'm not lying Maes!"
"Roy….why won't you look at me?"
Roy had intentionally turned over in the other direction when Maes looked to him. Even without his glasses, the other could see this much.
"I uh…I'm just not that tired thanks to all that resting you made me do, jerk." He quickly thought of. "Now I don't think I can sleep."
Eyebrow raised, as Maes put his glasses back on. Hmmm…Maybe he shouldn't be taking these off yet…
"Oh really? Elicia-chan. Get to the end of the bed." Hughes began, before ordering the pup awake. Groggily, she got up, moved and went back to her dream land, where she was a human child, mmmm...
Maes moved closer to Roy's back, placing a hand on his shoulder. Roy could feel his breath on the back of his neck and he shuddered because of it.
"Well, you do know what is nature's sleeping pill, right?" Hughes muttered, feeling the little bit of clean, smooth skin the bed garments did not cover. Roy didn't like his tone. It was worrying him. It sounded…sexy?
A gasp made Roy's shoulders rise as he felt a pair of lips on the bare skin of his neck. Oh, shit.
"Maes…what are you…" he began worriedly. When he felt hands underneath his top he sat up in a hurry and made some distance between him and Maes, no hesitation at all.
"Royyyy….." Maes whined turning his head. There went the mood!
With a pale face Roy shook his head excessively.
"Nuh uh, no way, not tonight." He replied quickly and concisely.
Now Maes sat up, and got on his hands and knees. "Now why not?"
"Because I'm tired…" Roy muttered, quivering. He noticed Maes was proceeding closer and closer to him, and he moved backwards to keep distance between them, turning where it was necessary so as to not fall off the bed. The rain seemed to be falling down harder with each moment.
He tried to avoid those eyes. They looked like a tiger's.
Maes gave him the strange look. "You just said you weren't."
"Yeah well….I lied."
"You've been doing a lot of that lately."
"Look Maes, I just don't feel like it tonight. I don't even want to uh…'snuggle'…"
"YOU don't want to snuggle? Ain't that a first."
"I'd rather just go to sleep, you know?"
"Oh, now come on. I just nursed you back to health. Don't I deserve my reward?"
"Maes…"
Without realizing it, Roy found himself back where he started, except this time his back against the bed board. He felt like prey, with the predator closing in…
"Do I have to get the handcuffs?"
Roy froze for what was certainly not the first time that day. "What." It wasn't the first time he had said that either.
"Handcuffs. You're really into that sort of bondage stuff Roy. Don't you remember?" Hughes repeated and explained for him.
But he had such a dirty smirk on his face, Roy thought otherwise.
"Do I? Or are you just taking advantage of my amnesia?"
Hughes grinned pathetically and shrugged his shoulders.
"Whoops, caught me."
Black eyes widened. "YOU SICK, KINKY, SON OF A BITCH!" Roy exclaimed in disbelief. "STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM ME, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING!"
Their eyes met however, and Roy saw in Maes that he wasn't going to take that for an answer. For a moment that seemed longer than it actually was, they merely locked eyes in silence. Then Maes lounged and producing a violated squeal from his prey, caught and pinned it. Elicia awoke and jumped off the bed. It was best to stay away from her masters when they were doing the 'bed mambo'…
He hung over top of him and kept his wrists pinned far apart. Roy struggled beneath him, grunting and occasionally whimpering, just like a captured doe. Then, Hughes swiftly bent down and calmed him with a deadly kiss.
Roy held his breath and felt his back arch. His head filled with a zillion screaming emotions, each contributing to how wrong they thought this was, yet how good it felt. Feelings conflicted, and Roy tried as hard as he could to control himself and not enjoy this, but oh god! Maes had finally kissed him! After all these years of longing…!
When they parted, Roy wasn't nearly as panicked as he had been, but still enough. Maes merely smiled again.
"Don't worry, my love."
No, not that name again!
Roy shivered. Maes released his wrists (but perhaps out of shock, they never moved) and made his way down Roy's clothes, on a path eventually leading to his pants. With each undone button Roy squirmed.
He wanted this! But he didn't! He wanted this! But he didn't!
The more Maes touched him the more his thoughts conflicted and the harder the rain seemed to get. Roy started whimpering again, trying to keep the words he wanted to scream in his mouth.
Don't look at him. He's determined to make love no matter what. Just don't look and it'll all be over.
But it's not that easy. It's not that Roy didn't want to make love. It was…
It was when Maes dipped down and his lips made contact with Roy's naval that the words Roy had been fighting to keep in came gushing out.
"YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS WITH GRACIA, NOT ME!"
And suddenly, a blot of lightning struck, followed immediately by thunder, and the rain became a storm.
Maes sat up immediately. All he could do was stare at Roy-who breathed in short, exhausted pants that got longer and deeper as the seconds went on- with wide golden eyes and an open mouth.
Roy's breathing slowly went back to normal, and he felt sweat down his temple from an overheating of his brain. He did not open his eyes though until he heard Maes begin to speak again in a small, weak whisper.
"Is that…how you really feel?"
Eyes opened and Roy saw instantly the hurt on Maes' face. Hurt began to etch his own in response.
"I'm…sorry Roy…" Maes spoke again, getting off his husband, lying back down in bed and taking off his glasses before turning out the light.
Roy was left in the dark, lost in a sea of exploding thoughts and feelings. After calming down, Roy did back up each button, moved under the covers and turned away from Maes, feeling guilt and shame. In the dark, he wondered about the expression on his new lover's face earlier and tried to figure out what he had done wrong now.
Even when he finally fell asleep, the storm continued to rage on.