AN: Thank you once again for the reviews everyone! 83
Ryopon: He strikes me as a big kid sometimes soooo…XD I just think he hides it well. But then you see how he reacts to puppies and, well…XP Nyoro n celery and bok choy are good. P And about updating soon: YES MA'AM! O.O /salutes and presents this chapter/
IdiotsApprentice: Recommend them to people on the interwebz? XDDD;;
ArraMidnight: Nyo, thank you so much. I will try and update as quickly as I can! c:
londoneye: Aww, but can you blame the poor thing? This is all just so very sudden for him. It'll take him time to adjust….time in which I can pump with ANGST! And which Gackt tracks do you find poopie? Oo I actually don't really care for Another World, although dears is one of my favorites (Emu For My Dear is probably my absolute favorite)
Maes Hughes' lover: Thank you too. ) Yay, more Hyuroi and Roy uke fans:3 Nyoro.
Anyways, on to the song for this chapter!
I originally didn't even think of this song as appropriate for this series, but after reading the lyrics, I realized almost every line was. I choose only one excerpt tho.
"Kienaide ite ne Mou nido to Yume yo Yume yo Watashi no ude de/Tsutsunde agetai Mamoritai Zutto Anata no Subete o"
-"Please don't be disappearing, okay? Never again- The dream, the dream in my arms/I want to envelope and protect your everything forever"-
-Ameagari no Tenshi (The Angel after it Rains) sung by Junko Minagawa as "Ayaka Yukihiro" from Mahou Sensei Negima translated by Li Jianling of animelyrics . tv
Anyways, enjoy.
-
Despite feeling terrible and wanting to give his love some space, Maes' instinct called even in sleep, and when Roy woke up the next morning he went as stiff as a board. Maes had unconsciously wrapped his arms around him over the course of the night.
And he was clinging on tightly too. Roy couldn't get free even if he tried.
"Maes…" he whispered through clenched teeth, trying to wake him up.
But the man instead snuggled closer, as if in rebellion of Roy's awkwardness. Roy held his breath and only seemed to get stiffer, yet Maes held on, breathing steadily as he experienced sweet dreams.
Oh great… Roy mentally moaned. Even after all that happened last night…Come on, Maes, get up, this isn't right…
Yet…Maes looked so peaceful, he couldn't bear to try and wake him up again. It was as if for Maes, his true love hadn't just lost his memory (although that wasn't what really happened, of course…), as if last night's disaster didn't happen at all. Sighing in defeat, Roy relaxed, said shut up to his freaking out emotions, and tried to enjoy this moment with Maes.
A few minutes (that seemed like hours) later and Hughes finally began to moan in awakening. Black eyes watched him carefully.
"Good morning gorgeous…" the man began, this eyes still closed as he leant in.
Roy wasn't quite expecting the kiss, so Maes got away with it.
When he finally opened his eyes however and saw the onyx orbs he loved so much widened in surprise, the memories of the pass two days came back in a rush. He released Roy instantly and gave him some space.
"Sorry…" he mumbled before getting up and preparing for work.
The peaceful face he had while sleeping, and this melancholic face he had now, flashed in comparison in Roy's mind and he looked down at his covers feeling horrible yet again.
The rain continued to pour outside.
.-.-.-.
After going through the morning rituals and a quick breakfast, it was time to head out.
"Here, take your umbrella." Hughes said, handing him the black item.
"I can't believe it's still raining…" Roy pouted. But at least there was no more thunder and lightning…
Hughes smirked. "Never will like rain, eh dear?"
"I'd rather we have a drought."
What a relief hearing that was to Maes. He may not remember everything, but he was still Roy, rain phobia and all. That made him still the man he loved.
"See! We're going to get a flood!" Roy complained as they opened the door and saw all the puddles.
In truth, Roy was actually fighting to stay 'normal'. His headache was still there and just as persistent. He felt 'under the weather', both physically and emotionally. The incident last night remained dominant in both his and Maes' thoughts, holding on relentlessly like a disease. It also just so happened he wasn't a morning person. And this rain was like the worm on top of a mud cake.
He caught something strange out of the corner of his eye: an umbrella-less Maes. The man he adored was standing contently in the downpour, looking up as it fell from the sky.
"Maes…you're getting wet…" Roy began, caught off by the strange behavior.
"It's okay."
"Don't you have your own um-"
"We usually share."
"Well then get the heck under here! You're getting soaked!"
"I'm fine. I like the rain unlike you." he smiled wistfully.
A frown spread across Roy's face. He knew what the other was up to.
"Maes…" he muttered sadly.
"Come on now. Don't want to be late!"
But Roy's frown would not leave. Maes was only standing out in the rain because of him. It was because he didn't want to make Roy feel anymore uncomfortable. Now he felt worse than before, as he tightly clutched the usually shared umbrella with both gloved hands.
They came to a rather big puddle and Maes saw a chance to brighten the mood. After carefully stepping over it himself, he offered his hand to the ebon hued man. Roy gingerly took it, feeling obligated to do so what with all the pain he was causing, but as soon as he did, the little devil stomped in the puddle, splashing water all over Roy.
Hughes grinned deviously. Pranks like this he pulled all too often on his beau and, quite honestly, he enjoyed the punishment. The Roy he knew would've fell for the trick, succumb to anger and chase a by then running Maes all the way to HQ, so he could beat him to death with the umbrella.
But this was not his Roy.
This Roy did not respond in anger. He only turned sadder and looked down in his misery, as the dirty water dripped down his face. To him, that was punishment for the way he was hurting Maes and he deserved it.
Maes' face became pained as he saw the sadness he brought his love, and he felt shame yet again.
"Sorry…" he muttered, as he took Roy's hand for real now, and led him down their yard. They remained in dead silence all the way to headquarters.
.-.-.-.
When they arrived Roy eyed Hughes in irritation. He was shaking the wet off.
"You like the rain, huh?" he mumbled, annoyed by the display.
"Yup!" Hughes replied, his happy demeanor somewhat returning.
He then turned serious. "Do you need me to show you your office?" he asked.
Roy blushed in embarrassment. "I know where it is." He said, looking away.
"I'll walk with you just in case." Hughes told him. The last thing he needed was Roy wandering around HQ lost. This only embarrassed Roy more. It felt like the first day of school or something. "You need to know where your class is? Here I'll show you where your class is. Come on, take my hand. Good boy…"
Then, out of nowhere (nowhere meaning the open office door in the hallway they were going down) came a familiar, but totally unexpected face.
"Maes! Roy! There you are! Well, how was yesterday? Are you feeling better Roy?"
Roy froze and paled to the state of marble. No way, that's not…this isn't…
"Gracia!?" he exclaimed in shock.
And there she was; the blonde, green-eyed wife of the object of his affection, dressed in the military uniform usually given to low level secretaries, with the skirt instead of the pants.
"Uh, yes, Roy?" she said, surprised by the exclamation.
Roy's head instantly turned to look at Maes. But the loving, doting and obsessive reaction he expected and had become used to never came.
Rather, Hughes' expression didn't seem to change much at all, although Roy could've sworn he was…sizing Gracia up and thinking about how he should react. But that couldn't be right…right?
"Um…what are you doing here?" Roy began, turning back to unexpected blonde.
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I work here Roy…in the Investigations Department with Maes." She answered.
She then herself turned to the other man. "Oh! And Major, there's some work for you already on your-"
And at that moment came the most shocking thing of all.
Maes walked away from Gracia.
From Gracia.
With just the smallest of acknowledgements (a nod of the head and a muttered word no one could catch), he walked straight past her, and didn't stop for anything. Roy's jaw dropped.
Maes would never be that way with Gracia! He'd swoon all over his precious wife and it'd be impossible to get him away. And yet, right now he acted as if she wasn't there and kept on WALKING!! What in the world!?
"-desk…?" she finished, looking after him. "Um…sir…?"
"What…was that!?" Roy finally managed to say.
"I don't know, you're the one married to him…" she mumbled, her cheeks turning red. But she seemed more confused than upset or angry.
That wasn't right either. The Gracia Roy knew would've turned concerned if Maes treated her like that, and would persist after him until she found out what was wrong. She wouldn't resign herself like this.
He had to remind himself that this was because she wasn't Mrs. Hughes in this world. He was the one with Maes Hughes in a union of love.
So…what role did Gracia play in this? And why was she working in the military?
"Did something happen last night?"
"Um…yeah…Er…Gracia…?"
The blonde listened attentively. "Yes?"
"What's your relationship to Maes…outside of work…?
Those pretty green eyes went wide. Then, they shut tight, as the woman laughed – a sweet, gentle laugh. "Are you jealous again, Roy? Look, I assure you, Maes and I are just good friends. He's still all yours, all right?"
Roy paused.
"Can you repeat that last part?"
"He's all yours."
"No, the part before that."
"I'm his friend. Maybe even his best friend…aside from you of course."
Roy remained frozen still. Everything was starting to fall into place.
Best friends? She's his best friend while I'm his husband?
So…we've switched places…
Then realization swept in.
"YOU SHOULD EB DOING THIS WITH GRACIA, NOT ME!"
"Is that…how you really feel…?"
Ohhhhhhhhhh shit…"Roy!"
He looked up and saw Hughes, looking around the corner from the end of the hallway, calling to him.
"Come on already! You can stand around all day once you're in your office!"
"Um…I'll see you later Gracia…" he told her as he ran to catch up to Maes.
"Okay. Bye Roy, I really do hope you're feeling better."
Feel better? How could he feel better now? In fact, his headache throbbed worse than before!
Roy Mustang, what have you fucked up this time?.-.-.-.
"This isn't right."
No one paid the statement any mind as their boss stared out the window towards the Investigations building, his face in his palm.
"It's just not right." Roy said basically the same thing but with slightly different words.
"Are we going to have to listen to this again?" he could hear one of his men (he wasn't quite sure which) mutter.
"Listen to what?" Roy asked curiously, scaring all four men out of their wits.
After a few seconds of frightened glances, Havoc stepped up to explain.
"You know sir…The way you get about Major Hughes and Miss Gracia."
"What way?"
More glances exchanged. Lieutenant Colonel Mustang wasn't going to make this easy on them.
"Well…when you go all insecure boyfriend."
"Oh, okay-excuse me, what?!"
"You get all insecure and all you ever talk about is the Major and Gracia…And what they 'mean' to each other."
Black met blue. "Elaborate. Now."
"Hmmm…well, basically…" Havoc began, starting to feel much calmer and confident talking to Mustang. "'What do you think they're doing right now?' 'Do you think she'd make a better partner than me?' 'She's prettier than I, isn't she?'"
"'Do any of you know if Maes likes blondes too?'" Breda broke in, adding to the Mustang impersonations.
"'Is it okay for them to spend that much time together?'" Havoc continued, a grin now spread across his face.
"'I miss him, why can't he work with me?'"
"'I want him by my side!'"
All four men bursted into laughter.
White and pale changed to flustered and red. What the hell!? What was he in this world!? A clingy and needy whiner!?
"Enough you two." Hawkeye warned, directing the warning at Havoc and Breda.
Ugh…I feel sick to my stomach… Roy thought, covering his face with his hands. Really, how clingy could I get!?
But he realized it wasn't simply being clingy. His self in this world was scared of Maes' relation with Gracia. And for a good reason, he realized. After all, if his self in this world had never confessed his love, it would be Gracia whom Maes was married to, just like it was back in the other world. His self here must've just subconsciously felt the threat…
"Can I ask you all something?" he began, bringing his hands down. Another question had came to mind. "How many people know of mine and Maes'…union?"
There was a silence as all five subordinates stared at their boss, all caught off guard.
"Er…" finally Hawkeye broke it. "Well us and Gracia of course. Major Armstrong too. Everyone else, no. You'll be kicked out of the military after all if the Fuhrer finds out."
Oh right…the military is homophobic… "But on that note, several people suspect you're homosexual, but it's all people who wouldn't want to use it against you. It's like a sort of an unconfirmed rumor." Riza went on. Roy couldn't help noticing she sounded like she was holding something back…what, exactly, he didn't know.Roy nodded. He thought it would be as such. "Thank you, Lieutenant."
"Sir, are you sure you're not still sick?" Fuery asked, worried.
"I'm fine, but thank you for your concern." He replied, standing. "I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head."
"Going to check on your lover boy, sir?" Havoc joked, the other three snickering.
Roy glared at them and the snickering stopped. "Of course not."
"Sir, you still have paperwork to do." Hawkeye reminded him.
"I know, I know."
When Roy came back ten minutes later however, everyone was gone.
.-.-.-.
"Amnesia?"
"Yeah. He came home the other night, and didn't even know we were married."
"Are you serious?! But the Lieutenant Colonel is crazy for you! There's no way he'd forget you two are married."
"It's not just the marriage he's forgotten. It's everything about our relationship."
"So…selective amnesia…"
Hughes had Hawkeye and the others called up, so now, along with Gracia, they were all gathered around his desk. The topic: Roy's apparent amnesia.
"So…this is the complication you mentioned the other night…" Gracia began. Hughes nodded.
"It certainly explains his odd behavior this morning." Falman added. More nods.
"I thought he seemed strange when I dropped him off Sunday night…" Hawkeye said. "But I didn't think it would be as severe as memory loss…"
"But…what caused it…?" Havoc wondered.
Maes looked down past his clasped hands. "I don't know…Hawkeye…" he began, looking back up to the serious Lieutenant. "Where did you find him on Sunday?"
"In the cemetery…sleeping at a random tombstone."
"A cemetery!?"
Maes looked down again, worry plaguing his citrine eyes.
"I didn't think I'd find him in there either, but since I couldn't find him anywhere else and he sometimes goes there to visit fallen soldiers, I figured I should look. But I certainly didn't expect to find him sleeping there." Riza went on, looking towards the window.
"That's a little creepy…" Fuery squeaked uncomfortably.
"Jeez sir, what's happening to you?" Breda mumbled.
"That's what I'd like to know." Hughes muttered.
"Maes…" Gracia murmured. "This must be killing you…"
Maes said nothing.
.-.-.-.
"Where'd you all go?"
"Oh, just nowhere sir."
"Where's Hawkeye?"
"She's busy calling Major Armstrong. He's in the North right now."
"Why is she calling him?"
"Just to get a status check."
Roy knew they were hiding something. But what exactly…
Then he realized Falman had just made sure to tell him Armstrong was in the North. The Roy they knew would've already known this, right? What point would there be in telling him? Unless they all knew…
"So, you all know now…about my condition…"
The others froze and looked at each other quietly.
"It's okay, it's better that you know." Roy smiled at them, that smile tinged by sadness.
"Sir…"
The four of them remained quiet after that. And there were no more jokes about Roy's insecure boyfriend problems.
.-.-.-.
"Roy, can I talk to you?"
Mustang stopped walking and turned to Gracia, who was catching up to him. She seemed worried and a little upset. Roy himself was on yet another walk; with the new knowledge of his condition, Hawkeye was being soft on him about the paperwork, and he was working it as long as he could.
"Gracia?" he began, still not used to seeing her around HQ. "Um…sure, about what?'
"About Maes."
Roy listened carefully with both ears.
"Uhm…did I do something wrong? To anger Maes?"
"What do you mean?" He can never be angry with you…oh wait a minute…
"He's been avoiding me all day. If he does talk to me, it's only a few words and when he has to. I don't really understand…" she told him.
Roy recalled earlier that day. Yes, that had definitely been avoiding. And Maes had been doing that all day?
He sighed. Like he didn't know why. It was his entire fault.
"Don't worry Gracia, it's not you."
She looked up hopefully, her delicate fingers entangled.
"There was…something happened last night. It affected Maes greatly." He continued.
"Really? Like what?"
But Roy's face told her it was best not to pry. "Never mind…"
"I'll go talk to him about it, okay? Cheer up." he said, trying to smile for her. Why on Earth was he trying to make her feel better when he felt like crap? Roy just didn't get himself sometimes. It seemed to work, however.
He really did have to talk to Maes though…and do something about the pain he caused last night.
As he walked back to his office, he saw Maes waiting for him.
Good, saves me the trouble of looking…"Maes, we need to talk-"
"Yes. Yes, we do."
Being grabbed by his arm and pulled into his own office caught him off guard needless to say, more so than the fact no one else was in there now. Quickly, Maes shut the door behind them, and steered Roy into a chair.
For a moment there was a silence, Maes busy trying to gather his thoughts and the things Roy wanted to say long gone as he waited. Maes seemed particularly exhausted, as if he had been thinking this up all day, yet now couldn't get a thing out.
"Roy…I…" he began shortly, suddenly getting on his knees before his seated husband. "I'm sorry."
Black eyes blinked confused. "Huh? About what?"
"About…some of the things I've said. Look, I know I've been going on about having a child lately but-"
Roy's body froze completely.
"Eh?"
"But that doesn't mean I'd rather be with a woman just to have one! Damnit, if you're thinking that way then…"
Maes wants a child still in this world? And that's why what I said last night affected him? Roy wondered.Unbeknownst to Roy, his self in this world had actually been depressed for months. In the beginning, when Hughes' words about children were just mere random and infrequent thoughts, it didn't bother him. But the more and more Maes went on about children, the more and more it upset Roy. In fact, the Roy of this world had left home that Sunday afternoon because he was depressed, and needed a walk in order to think. The cemetery wasn't quite on his list of places he planned on heading to, but he ended up there without even thinking, and figured it was as a good a place as any to mull over his feelings and let them out if need be… Away from prying eyes that could mock his emotions.
Maes had been completely oblivious to his partner's feelings – Roy was so good at covering them. But he realized after last night that he should've caught on a month ago when they got Elicia.
"How about a dog? It's not a little girl or boy, but…it's the best I can give you…"
He thought the comment had been odd sounding at the time, but Roy became such a little kid when they went to look for a dog that it completely slipped his mind. Until last night.
If the current Roy had never came to this world and said what he had the night previous, Maes would never have realized the impact of his words, and Roy would've gone on thinking Maes would be happier with a woman. The depression would've led to things best not to think about…
But, once again, this Roy knew nothing about this, and was desperately trying to piece it all together. So he couldn't help saying: "Thinking what way?"
"That I'd be better off with Gracia, or any woman, instead of you."
"Oh…"
"Roy…it's true that I would kill for the chance for us to have a child…" he began again, now taking one of Roy's hands and holding it with both his own. He looked down at it, too ashamed to look Roy in the eye. "But for us to have one! If I can't raise one with you, I see no point. You're the only one for me, damnit, so don't go off thinking you're not ever again, all right!?"
Somewhere deep inside him, for whatever reason, Roy felt…happy. He couldn't explain it, but now it was spreading throughout the rest of him. That relieved happiness…How nice it felt…His headache finally stopped as well.
"Maes…" he began, lips moving on their own, words not his, yet were. "Th…thank you…"
Maes looked back up at him once again, his own relief filling him, and doing away with his shame.
"Aw, don't cry Love."
"I'm not." Roy said simply, not even cringing at the name this time. And he wasn't, it took quite a lot to make Roy Mustang fully cry in front of another person, even Maes. But his eyes had watered out of his control.
With a loving smile on his face, Hughes stood, but kept himself lowered just a bit so that he could hug the other. And Roy did something he hadn't yet in this world: he hugged back.
"Now, will you stop avoiding Gracia?" Roy asked when they pulled apart.
"Oh…so you noticed that?" Maes replied, his face turning red.
"That's not nice Maes. Even if you were doing it to avoid hurting my feelings." Roy spoke, his legs and arms crossed and a typical Mustang smirk on his face.
Surprise took Maes, but it left quickly. Roy could always figure things out like that. That was just…Roy.
"I…Yeah…you're right…" Maes told him, feeling like a jerk.
"I want you to apologize to her before we go home, all right?"
The response to that comment confused Roy. Maes looked surprised again, but then he soon smiled, so broadly and fondly, Roy didn't get it.
"What?" he asked.
"You're starting to sound like you again. Giving orders like a good 'wife'."
Now it was Roy's turn once again to become crimson, although he went into a much deeper shade than Maes did. The other couldn't help laughing, then leaning down once more and kissing his darling.
This time, Roy knew it was coming, and Roy let it happen. This time, Roy enjoyed it.
"My wife…" he heard Maes mutter afterwards.
"Husband." He found himself correcting.
Outside the rain finally cleared…