Hey guys! Thanks again for all the reviews! I love you all:D Just some specific replies now:
MayaMay: I'm glad you feel that way! I try really hard to capture their attitudes in the anime in this fanfic. So, I'm happy that I seem to be succeeding. :) The FMA fandom is fun! Enjoy it as much as you can!
jkks: Depends on what you classify as a 'smex scene'. XD Obviously I can't put up any lemons or anything since this is (and I can't write those things anyways. :) I smash my fingers when I try XP) Something vague tho, may or may not occur later on…but telling you that would be spoilers. Teehee. /naughty grin/
This chapter is a rather important one. It also proved a little difficult to write at one point – thank god for friends on the interwebs (I wub you guys :')) reassuring me that I'm doing the right thing and whatever part of my perfectionist self is thinking 'ooc' and 'but not enough for someone going through this' at the same time needs to shut up. X) (no, I won't be saying which scene it is that caused that. :P)
Now the musical excerpt. I spilt this one up; think of the first part as Roy speaking, and the second as Maes. And omfg, look, it is in ENGLISH:O
"On such a breathless night as this/Upon my brow the lightest kiss/I walked alone/And all around the air did say/My lady soon will stir this way/In sorrow known
The White Queen walks and the night grows pale/Stars of lovingness in her hair/Needing – unheard/Pleading - one word/So sad, my eyes/She cannot see"
-The White Queen (As it Began) by (one of the greatest bands of all time :)) Queen, from their album, Queen II.
Enjoy, folks!
-
"Roy, have you and Maes seen Ruthie anywhere?"
"Sorry, Anna, we haven't."
"Oh. I thought she might've come here to play with Elicia…"
"Is something wrong Anna?"
"Oh no, nothing's wrong. Ruthie just went out to play and I want her to come in before it rains."
"Ah. Well, if we see her, we'll tell her to head straight home."
"Thank you, Roy. See you."
Roy watched her walk down their yard and observed the increasingly graying sky, before closing the door and returning to the living room. Maes sat just where he had left him; in one of the armchairs he had pulled up to the coffee table in front of the couch. Their unfinished chess game laid on the same table.
"What did Anna need?" Hughes asked as Roy returned, having only caught part of the conversation.
"She was just wondering if we'd seen Ruthie around." Roy told him, coming closer.
He then began to observe the chessboard carefully.
"What?" Maes began, smirking. "Checking to see if I cheated while you were away? Well, I'll have you know I didn't move a single piece."
"I'm still checking anyways."
"What? Don't trust me?"
"No. Not when the penalty for me losing is you doing anything you want to me."
Maes' smirk deepened.
"Honestly, I'm surprised you agreed to such a term. Either you're finally comfortable with you-know-what again or you're that arrogant."
"Or, maybe I just want the chance to do whatever I want to you, did you think of that?" Roy replied, sitting back down on the couch, where his pieces awaited him.
For a moment, Hughes thought that meant Roy wanted to do something dirty to him, fooling him to believe there was some progress being made. But then he realized what Roy most probably wanted was revenge for the apron he was constantly making him wear. Ack.
"Hang on…" Roy began. "Where's my queen?"
Maes –grinning sheepishly- looked like a little kid, caught in whatever naughty act he was up to.
"Eh heh, sorry…" he apologized, pulling the white queen from his pocket and handing it back to Roy.
Roy wasn't impressed. Not because Hughes had attempted cheating, but because he thought he could get away with taking the most powerful piece and get away with it. Yet, what seemed to really aggravate him more was how long it took him to realize it was missing!
"For the record, I knew you were going to notice it missing, I just wanted to play a little with you."
"Uh huh. Sure. Whatever."
This time Roy was examining the board for a move that would turn the game even more in his favor. He had a slight upper hand over Maes right now, but he knew it could easily switch into the other's hands. So he would have to do everything he could to maintain his upper hand and pummel Maes. Moving a rook, he declared, "Your turn."
Obviously the move had been a good one, because Maes took a long time thinking on his move.
"Anyways, about what we were talking about before…." He started, rubbing his breaded chin as he thought. "So? Anything coming back at all?"
"Not really…" Roy muttered.
There was a flash of disappointment on Maes' face, but he hid it right away. "Ah. Well, it has to come back sometime, right?" he said hopefully, finally moving and capturing one of Roy's remaining pawns with a knight.
"But…" Roy began, looking at the pieces and wanting to say anything to make Maes feel better. "It is…easier now…"
It worked; Maes smiled genuinely upon hearing that and didn't even care as Roy captured the knight he'd just played.
"Really?"
"Yeah…"
And this was true. It had been a month now and Roy was much more comfortable in his surroundings. He felt more comfortable around Maes, no longer showed surprise when the other kissed him or told him he loved him. Heck, Roy had taken the initiative to kiss him five times already (he was keeping count). He was back to his 'normal' self at headquarters, and was even used to seeing Gracia there. He and Maes were back into a routine of taking turns cooking and cleaning. Roy even knew his way around the neighborhood relatively well by now, since he and Maes had taken walks every night with Elicia, trying to familiarize him. He still didn't know his way around 100 percent, but it was better than before.
In fact, since that first Saturday, Maes was much more sensitive about Roy's condition. He was also making a much bigger effort than he had before. Besides the walks, some nights Maes brought out photo albums and explained the story behind each picture, in hopes that they would stir something in Roy's memory. Although it did no such thing, it was a huge help for Roy as he understood the type of relationship he and Maes had here and was finally able to situate himself into it.
And Maes was taking what Roy had said into account. Not once since that day had he asked for sex. Although, mind you, there had been multiple times Roy did something Maes deemed 'absolutely, tremendously, utterly adorable' (in those exact words too) and he made a beeline to the washroom. When he came back out, neither man said anything about it and went on to other matters.
"It…this just finally feels like…home…" Roy continued, as Maes moved a bishop.
That smile of Maes' remained, although slightly hindered. "That's great. Now if only you'd stop making that look in the morning." He replied.
Roy moved a bishop of his own. "What look?"
"Like you've just woken up next to a stranger." Maes moved a rook.
"Oh…" Roy captured the rook with a knight Maes had completely forgot about. Maes was right though. When he woke up, he didn't remember anything and was of course shocked to see a usually already awake Maes next to him. Maes would try to hide his hurt, and Roy felt guilty, but that little detail couldn't be helped.
"I'm sorry Maes." Roy then said.
"It's okay." Maes simply told him, in that loving and understanding tone he used with Roy. "It can't be helped, right?"
Roy didn't say anything, not even as Maes captured the knight he just played.
They continued to play; discussing whatever came to their minds (Ruthie sure is cute isn't she? How long do you think till we'll get promoted? Will you wear a miniskirt? No way in hell. One night we should go out for dinner. Speaking of which, what do you want tonight?) and Roy managed to keep the upper hand. But Maes wasn't about to give up and let Roy win. He tried bringing out his queen, who caused some major damage to Roy's side, until Maes got careless with power and left his queen in the path of Roy's remaining knight. With the black queen out of the game, the white queen was moved from her spot once again, this time fairly. Roy put Maes in check three times, before finally calling checkmate.
"Uh…no, you must be mistaken…there's gotta be a way for my king to move…" Maes began, nervously.
To demonstrate to Maes that there was no such way, Roy showed him how any move he could do would only end up in the king being captured, confirming Roy's victory.
It took Hughes a few seconds even after that to finally accept defeat. Slumping in his chair, he moaned loudly.
"Okay, you won Muffin. Like always. I should've known better than to think just because your memory's gone that your mind wouldn't be as sharp as always. Do your worse to me, hon." He declared, pushing his glasses up and dreading his loser punishment.
Roy sat, his arms and legs crossed, his back straight. It was impossible to tell what was on his mind by his blank and stern face. Then, for seemingly no visible reason, he leaned back against the couch, but didn't do anything else. This, to say the least, confused Maes. Was he thinking about a punishment? Roy must've had something in mind when he accepted the challenge…
"Maes…come over here." He then said.
Eyebrow raised, Maes got up, took a few steps and stared down at Roy wanting him to just hurry and get it over with.
"Sit."
Maes sat down next to him.
Roy's body seemed to relax with a sigh, and he rolled his head over to the opposite side, leaving his neck exposed to Maes. What the heck was he up to?
"Maes…I'm kinda stiff…" he began again. "I want you to uh…make me unstiff."
"Eh? What exactly do you mean by-" But then he noticed the look in Roy's eyes, one he almost didn't recognize because he hadn't seen it in so long. "Oh. OH."
He then smirked. Oh finally. Finally. "It'll be my pleasure, Muffin."
Roy smiled as Maes leant in and began to kiss the part of neck he exposed for him. It took him a long time to decide to go through with this, even just this moment despite wanting it when he accepted the chess challenge, but he felt it was time. He knew for sure now that Maes was his (although he still at times felt a little guilty). Plus, he had forced Maes to wait and control himself, using the washroom whenever the urge struck him. Now seemed like the right time.
And for Maes, it was about time. It felt like the first night they did it all over again. Even with the coy, confusing way Roy told him he wanted it. Come to think of it, he used that stupid stiff line the first time too. Of course, Roy wouldn't have known that.
They shifted in position; Roy laid on his back, and Maes rehearsed a series of movements he had pictured in his mind over and over again each of his washroom visits. They kissed multiple times, Roy actively participating.
It was when Maes' hands found their way to Roy's pants, that Roy's vision suddenly went black.
Quickly, Roy stopped the other, pushing him back with both hands. Maes immediately froze at the two hands now placed on his chest.
"Roy?" he began, worry tainting his tone.
Roy's eyes were shut tight. He shook his head just slightly, then opened them, relieved to have vision again.
"Sorry, it was nothing. My eyes just went a little funny." He assured the other.
Maes didn't seem to fully believe that, but since he had been waiting for this, he couldn't stop now. He brushed the incident off and started where he left off.
Then it happened again.
This time Roy got scared, and rather than gently push Maes away, he shoved him roughly.
"Again?!" Maes exclaimed, the concern much more prominent as well as impatience.
Roy's mind whirled. What the hell was happening?
Then his mind came to a horrible conclusion.
Time for the dream to end.
Reopening his eyes once more, he revealed to Maes his fear. That made Maes scared as well.
"Roy?! What's wrong?" he inquired, the worry spreading to his citrine eyes.
Roy got up and held his forehead with one hand. Maes tried to look into his eyes again, but couldn't get a good look at them with the way Roy was looking down. He raised a hand to lift the other's face up and get a better look.
"Don't touch me!"
Maes recoiled mostly from shock. Roy had never shouted quite like that at him.
He backed off and gave him some space, but he could not stop worrying.
Roy on the other hand was struggling inside. For the moment, he was convinced this new world he had fallen in love with this past month was going to evaporate any time now. And that was upsetting him. It was too early! He was finally okay with this, he was finally okay with Maes, he was finally okay with them being together and he was finally enjoying himself. It was too soon to pull him away and put him back in a world where Maes no longer existed!
After a few minutes, when he realized the world hadn't evaporated, he calmed down. Maes' voice assured him he was still there.
"…what happened?" Maes finally asked.
Roy brought his hand down and looked up. The spark of lust and desire was gone and Maes knew they weren't going to make love tonight.
"N…Nothing…"
"Bullshit, nothing!" Maes shouted. "Roy, what the hell happened?"
But Roy only turned away, got up and walked away, his mind still confused over what just happened. He needed quiet…he needed to think some more…
Now Maes' concern turned into anger. He rose to his feet as well.
"Roy! Answer me!"
"It's nothing for you to worry about Maes..."
"Nothing for me to worry about!? Damnit Roy, you're my husband, of course it's something for me to worry about! Don't you trust me?! I understand how you've forgotten so much, and that you have a hard time readjusting, but still, even if you're not used to us being spouses, you remember our friendship, right!?"
"Maes…please don't…don't do this to me…" Roy muttered, not even really thinking as he said that.
That really made Maes snap.
"Don't do this to you?! What about me, Roy!? What about all I've gone through this month? What about all you've put me through!"
Roy froze completely, looking at Maes with wide eyes. Things Maes had kept bottled up were coming out.
"Maes…"
The mentioned looked away from the one who called him, which alone felt heart stabbing. Roy looked down, and felt he couldn't stay here in this tension any longer. Quickly, before Maes could stop him, he turned around and went out the door.
Maes didn't even bother trying to stop him. From behind the armchair, Elicia looked out with a whimper. Maes turned back to her and went over to reassure her he would go looking for Roy after he cooled down.
But only twenty minutes later, the knock on his door sent him running frantically to find his love, taking his throwing knives with him.
-:-
Roy walked and walked, not caring where he was going or that it had started raining. The rain suited him perfectly right now, despite how he hated it. It was like the sky was crying for him, when he was too proud to do so.
Normally, people may brush something like what had happened back there with the blacking out off, and Roy really wanted to, but considering he was a man in a situation he didn't really understand, and a world he wasn't even sure to be reality, he couldn't. He went back to his state of mind at the moment the second blacking out occurred. He had come to the conclusion that the 'dream' was ending. Right.
Could that really be true? No, because he was still here. Maybe it was them about to have sex that triggered it. So…did that mean…this dream, if it was a dream, would end when he and Maes had sex?
At this point Roy wasn't sure what to believe. He'd have to see if it would happen another day, the next time he and Maes would try to make love. Maybe something was just off about today…
A truck zooming past and splashing an entire puddle onto him snapped him out of his thoughts. Angry and dirty, he momentarily shouted then glared at the vehicle. It appeared to be a meat truck.
"What's their rush." He growled, wiping puddle water from his face only to have it replaced with clean rain.
He sighed. Guess it was time to head home. Maes was bound to have cooled down now and he had his thoughts together.
Suddenly, he realized he wasn't familiar with these surroundings. His mind raced as he looked around for something recognizable that would send him the right way home. But there was nothing of the sort. He was lost. And in this downpour to boot.
Oh shi-Moaning, he mentally smacked himself for not paying attention as he walked. Walking aimlessly was not a good thing to do. Now what?
If he continued on his way he could just get more lost, or he could run into someone he knew. But the former seemed much more likely. Maes would eventually start looking for him, but that might take a while, and Roy wasn't sure how much more he could take of this rain before his body and mind punished him for it. In fact, his body was already protesting. He was tired, shivering and didn't want to move much more. He was longing to curl up in the warmth that was Maes' arms and relish in the love they provided. Falling against the wall of a nearby building, he slumped to the ground, brought his knees close to his chest, hung his head and tried sheltering it with his arms. Just a rest…a short rest and then try heading home.
But a short rest became a long rest. He didn't want to risk getting any more lost. It was best to stay where you were when you get lost anyways, right?
I wish Maes was here…Then, he paused breathing and listened closely. He could hear something. It sounded like footsteps and puddle splashing, and it was getting closer.
He looked up from his knees just in time to see Maes turn the corner, seemingly running, throwing knife in hand.
Initially, both men froze. They were only a few feet apart, and both wore faces of surprise, as if they couldn't believe the other was right in front of them despite being close enough to tell. Maes' chest was heaving up and down speedily as he panted, not yet slowing down. His breathing and the sound of rain were the only things disrupting this eerie silence. In the end, Roy was the first to get over the initial surprise and speak.
"Maes?"
The other's breathing finally slowed, as Roy stood up. Mustang wasn't sure what was on his mind. He looked frantic and scared when he first turned the corner and now seemed relieved yet about to cry.
"Maes, I'm…"
"Oh, thank god you're okay!" Maes finally exclaimed, running to the other and wrapping his arms around him tightly, dropping his knife in the process.
Surprise again for Roy, this time mixed with confusion. "Uh…of course I'm okay…" he began, unsure of what to say. "Wet, cold and exhausted but okay…"
Listening closely, it sounded like Maes really was crying, his face buried in Roy's shoulder. "Oh god…I was so worried, I mean, even if you had brought your gloves, you'd be defenseless in this rain…"
His grip wouldn't loosen. Roy was starting to get uncomfortable. All this because he ran out?
"If I had lost you because of something so stupid, because of me, I don't know what I would do. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you! Thank god you're alive, thank god…" Maes continued.
"Maes, what the hell are you talking about? What do you mean lose, and what the heck is going on!?"
Maes parted from him slightly, hands now moved to his shoulders. His relief was hindered by extreme sadness, and he was indeed crying. It took him a moment to finally get out his words and stay calm about it.
"Roy, there's been a murder."
"What!?"
"And…it was…"
Maes bit his lip hard, grief swelling in his eyes.
"It was Anna."
-:-
The corpse had been mutilated and slashed almost to the point it couldn't be recognized. The police had already mostly covered it, but the large amount of hair was still visible. One look at that long, wet, and bloody red hair told Roy and Maes it could only be one person. Anna was the only woman they knew in Central (and certainly in their neighborhood) with such flaming red hair – aside from her daughter. It wasn't a very common hair colour in Amestris, at least not in that intensity.
Roy looked on with wide black eyes, unsure what to say or do. Even if this world was indeed reality, what he saw now just couldn't be real. That couldn't be Anna Oslo laying there in a pool of rain and her own blood. It just couldn't be.
But why did this look so familiar!? Where had he seen this corpse before?
Maes was gripping his hand to the point that it hurt and his knuckles turned white. But Roy didn't care; he was gripping back just as tightly.
They were the only two allowed through the tape because of their military rank. The rest of their neighbors all watched from behind a thin barrier, murmuring and whispering.
"In our neighborhood?"
"There's no way…"
"Who would do this to sweet Anna? Who?!"
"What if the murderer's still around?"
"Oh no, Roy…look." Maes whispered in his ear, obviously in the same mental state as Roy.
Roy looked in the direction Maes was and felt dread pull at his heart. Ruthie had shown up.
She had weaseled her way through the crowd with a smile on her face, naively thinking something exciting was going on and wanting to be let in on it. But when she got to the front, her smile slid off, leaving confusion.
"Mama?"
The neighbors who noticed her were trying to stop her, but she was too quick and ran under the tape to her mother's corpse.
"Mama!? Mama!"
She slid to her knees in front of the pool, her big eyes shaking, unsure what was going on.
"Mama? Is that you mama?"
The officers didn't know what to do about her, neither did Roy and Maes. But the moment she touched the sheet covering Anna Maes yelled at her not to. The sudden shout seemed to scare her more, and she briefly turned in their direction, before returning to her mother.
"Mama? Say something mama! You're just sleeping right? Mama!"
Ruthie's fit continued, huge tears running down her face. The police couldn't sit still and just watch her become traumatized any more. Neither could Maes, and he was the one to run into action and try to keep her away from the body, while the police covered it more for the moment until they could take it away.
Roy was too shocked to do anything. He had seen this before. With Maes. Back in the other world. He was looking at what the public believed to be the first victim (really the second if memory served him right) of the infamous 'Chopper' all over again.
Now he knew where he had seen Ruthie's face before.
Back then he hadn't cared. He hadn't known Ruthie. Maes had been deeply affected, but he hadn't ran out and tried to console the poor girl.
He remembered. He remembered how he went home with Maes because he was so affected, and it was the thing any good friend would do (especially considering Roy's true feelings for him). He remembered the look on poor Maes' face when he and Roy arrived at the house him and his pregnant wife shared. He could clearly remember what Maes had said;
"I hope my child never has to go through that sort of experience, ever."
And there was another reason for Roy's inability to do anything. Ruthie sounded remarkably like someone else.
"No! Mama wake up! Make her wake up, Mr. Hughes, make her wake up! Why won't she wake up, why!?"
"Why are they burying daddy, mommy?! Why!?"
It was too much for Roy to stand.
-:-
When they got home, both were speechless and drenched. They cast forlorn looks at each other, wanting to say something, anything, but both were too affected to do so. Maes by how close he'd come to losing Roy, Roy by the remembrance of the other's funeral and both by the loss of their friend and her daughter's tears. Thank god her grandfather had shown up, even if to just hold her and share the pain of loss.
Maes silently moved into their bedroom to undress. Roy only moved to the door and peeked in at the other taking off the wet shirt. Yes, in that other world, there was no more Maes. He was six feet under, pushing up daisies, being turned into fertilizer, just plain dead. Gone forever in that world, never to live again. He watched as Maes paused with the removed shirt in his hands, sighing deeply. He too was being haunted by the idea of a world without his love.
"Roy…" he began, knowing the other was there. "I'm…sorry about earlier…"
Roy didn't say anything, just stood there looking at Maes' tense, wet back.
"…You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'd rather have you keep things from me and suffer memory loss than lose you."
Roy couldn't take much more; he ran into the room and wrapped his arms around Maes from behind, catching the other off guard. He buried his face in the space between the shoulders.
"No…I'm sorry…" he began, voice just slightly shaking. "I didn't know what was happening and I didn't want to worry you any more with something that may've been insignificant. I've worried you too much already, I don't want to be anymore of an emotional burden for you…"
Knowing this now, Maes wanted to hit himself for earlier. He should've known Roy had a reason like this to not tell him what had happened.
"Oh Muffin…" he began, managing to turn around and hug the other himself. "You're not an emotional burden…"
There was silence for a little while. Roy listened intently to that heartbeat assuring him of the other's life.
"Maes…"
"Yes?"
"We're going to catch the one who killed Anna, right?"
Maes was taken aback and didn't say anything.
"I know it's un necessary for the military to get involved in something that's really more of a job for the police, but…I have a feeling Anna won't be this guy's only victim. My gut's screaming serial killer… You and I have the tools and rank to try and catch him…and the military will just look bad if serial killings happen in its own back yard…"
Roy waited for Maes' reply, which he was sure would be along the lines of 'Roy that's ridiculous, we can't'. But he knew Anna wasn't the last victim, he knew the Chopper (whose real name escaped him) would kill many more women before being caught, and he knew it would be the military who'd get him. He remembered the military's investigation in the other world didn't start until the third public victim (who was actually a female soldier), but if he could save more lives and catch the killer sooner by starting the investigation now, by god, he'd do everything in his power to do so.
"…Of course we will, Roy."
Roy was shocked and happy to hear that response. He hugged Maes tighter for comfort, that sweet heartbeat going strong in his ear.
He had decided; even if the blacking out had been a one-time thing, he wasn't going to risk it. There was no way he was going back to a world without Maes. Even if it meant giving up one of his favorite past times for life, that would just be a sacrifice he'd have to make.