No reviews. :-( But I wanted to post this before I left and it became much harder to post. So here's chapter 3. Oh, and I really hope that no one out there is taking this story seriously, it's supposed to be ridiculous.

It was late. And Severus Snape knew that he should be asleep, but the events of the week weighed so heavily on his mind that rest was impossible….

He should have just helped the boy! He was a teacher, after all, and that was his job. Technically.

And he would have, had Draco asked him to teach him anything else. But what could Snape teach him about dancing?

"plenty…" Said a little voice in his head, and he almost allowed himself to smile before catching himself and shaking his head as though to rid the blasphemous thoughts from his mind.

"No I could only teach him heartache." Snape could still hear the sound of his jeering classmates. And that was oh so many years ago….

Well. They just hadn't understood dance. It was art. And what did a bunch of teenagers know about art? Nothing! "And neither does Draco. He doesn't know what he's asking of me."

But if there was one thing to be said about Draco Malfoy, it was that he was incredibly persistent. He simply would not accept no for an answer.

After potions class Draco had stayed after….

"P- professor"

Snape looked up and regarded his student with a heavy disinterested gaze, "what."

"well, Professor, I thought that maybe you just wanted more time to think, to- to consider whether…"

"Yes. The weather. It rains. Thank you for this chat Malfoy, it was most insightful."

"No! That's not what I meant! I mean, well now that you've had time to really think about my request, maybe now you're ready to- to- to-"

"Out with it."

" To teach-"

"No."

"Please!?"

"Get out."

Then, at dinner the next day:

"P-professor."

"Yesss. Misster. Malfoy" Snape hissed.

"What about now? Have you had enough time to-"

"No. Go eat."

And then, in the teachers lounge:

"Malfoy what on God's green earth are you doing in here. And how did you get past the guard troll?"

"Professor, Please-"

"No. Leave."

"But-"

"LEAVE, or I'll take ten… five points from Slytheryn"

Malfoy gasped, "You wouldn't dare."

"Try. Me."

Malfoy backed away, in terror, not daring to take his eyes off of this horrifying man, then broke into a dead run out of the teachers lounge all the way back to the Slytheryn commons.

And then, worst of all, last night:

Snape awoke to find Draco Malfoy's face hovering inches from his own.

"How in the Bloody Hell of c(censor)ing bowtruckles did you get into my room!?!? How did you even find it!"

At which point Malfoy grabbed him by the front of his robe and cried desperately, "Help me Professor! You're my only hope!!!!!"

"OUT!!!!!!!! GET OUT!!!!!!"

"You heard the man!" said Filch, "Get out!"

Snape whirled around to see the scruffy caretaker huddling in the corner of his room petting Mrs. Norris like some 70's spy movie villain.

"You!?"

And then Severus Snape actually woke up in a cold sweat. It was 2:00 in the morning, which doesn't really matter but we thought we'd throw in the time just to show how desperate the situation had gotten.

Since that night, Snape had been afraid to sleep.

"Severus, you're looking… unwell." Professor McGonagal delicately commented.

"Why thank you Minerva, likewise."

"Now, I realize that you never look well, or at least not what a normal person would consider 'well'…"

"Thank you Minerva." Snape replied through gritted teeth. He was so exhausted that he could not even think of a suitable comeback.

"But today you're looking especially… peeked."

"Yes, and I realize that you are always an annoying hag, but today you're being particularly mind-shreddingly irritating, and especially haggish."

Minerva McGonagal took the insults in stride, and instead turned the tables on him.

"It's bothering you, the boy's request."

"It. Is. Not." Snape said, again with clenched jaw.

"You took points off Slytheryn." McGonagal deadpanned.

"I did not!" Snape cried indignantly. "I onlythreatenedto."

"What was that?"

"How did you know about that anyhow?"

"Oh Severus," She said, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder, "everyone knows about that."

"Damn."

"Teach him to dance," McGonogal entreated, "It would be good for him!"

Snape looked at her, and she gave him a significant look, "It would be good… for the both of you."

"I- I can't." Snape looked away in shame, tears welling in his eyes. He quickly shook them away, "I will not! I do not waste my time with the silly needs of mere schoolboys. And I certainly don't dance." And with that, Snape stood to make his smooth exit.

"Severus Snape!" McGonagal called after him, authority dripping from her voice, "as deputy headmistress, I command you to teach the boy to dance or I'll-"

"You'll what?"

"I'll…" (pause for dramatic effect), "Lower your pay."

"You can't do that."

"Oh, I believe you'll find that statement quite wrong or, in your words… try me."

"Damn."