Dear Mum and Dad,

It's Christmas time and I wanted to tell you hello. It's time for Petunia's wedding but I'm not going. I've been uninvited and I'm alright with that. It would've been too hard for me to go anyways. Her speech at the funerals had been too coarse for me. I guess I don't have it in me to see her. Maybe that's bad? I don't know. I just can't do it.

A lot has changed since you guys have been gone. A lot stayed the same too, though. Caroline and Pippa are still my best friends. Caro is still dating Sirius and madly in love with him (and vice versa). Pip isn't dating Charles anymore but they parted as friends. I know he loved being part of the Marauders so the boys, in all their shining kindness, are doing their best to make sure he doesn't feel too left out.

James and I are dating. We've been dating since October 23rd. It's now been two months and it doesn't seem to be changing. It's an interesting relationship, one that you guys would probably like. James and I bicker like crazy over the silliest things. We're so completely baffling and it's wonderful. I love being with him. I guess I'm one to wax on poetically about the boy I love, aren't I? I was always so quiet about stuff like this before. Now I just love being open about it. It makes life so much more fun. His best friends are so amazing. They've opened their arms and hearts to me. Sirius and Remus are darling.

Speaking of Remus, did I ever tell you he was a werewolf? Well he is. He got bitten when he was a little boy and every full moon he transforms. To dull the pain a bit, the other Marauders (James, Sirius, and Peter) all figured out how to transform themselves into animals. Peter becomes a rat, Sirius a big black dog, and James a stag. Tell me those aren't some amazing friends.

Remember a few years ago when we celebrated the Christmas with Nanny and Poppa? It was such a great Christmas.

I remember watching Nanny make the gingerbread house with Petunia. It was a huge landscaped house, with three stories of cookie goodness. It towered over all the other things in the kitchen, standing a good three feet tall. It was such a great house. There were chocolate shavings for window panes and giant doors made of slabs of chocolate. The snow was made of whipped cream and had a snowman made of marshmallows. It was the prettiest house I'd ever seen.

After the house was made, we all went into the living room to light the Christmas candles. That was when Nanny still had the actual candles on the tree instead of lights. They were so pretty, weren't they? The ornaments reflected them and it was just such a gorgeous sight. I loved looking at it. And the star atop the tree? Stunning.

That night we sat down to dinner before Midnight Mass. We ate for three hours. I was sooo stuffed I could barely walk upstairs! Remember the dress you bought me? It was a little green velvet number. I wore white tights with green Mary-Janes. I remember being the epitome of cute.

The next morning we sang carols before presents, even though it was so hard to sit still. I remember watching Petunia open her presents and squeal with joy. And then I opened mine. There was Penny Doll. The prettiest, most wonderful doll on the planet. Her hair was an echo of mine, with freckles and the same (almost) colored eyes. Did you know I still have Penny Doll? She's at Hogwarts with me. Not many of my friends know it but she sleeps in a special bed I bought her ages ago. It's a gorgeous bed, a replica of the one I sleep in here. It's got the curtains and everything. I absolutely adore it. But I digress. That Christmas has got to be my favorite one.

The ones I hated the most were the ones I didn't get to go home for. I know I could have gone home. But I didn't. Because of Petunia. I didn't want to make the holidays more stressful for anyone and now I regret that decision. I wish I had spent as much time with you guys as I could have. God I miss you.

It's so hard to be without you. It's so strange to not have Mum's notes every day, telling me about what goes on in life. It's so weird to know that you won't be at the station to pick me up when I go home in June or that I no longer live at home. I'm homeless, for now. While I was at home for your funerals I transferred most of my stuff to James's house for safe-keeping. We both agreed that we'd move out of our houses because it would be too hard to live there. Who knew we might end up living together?

Don't worry, I'm doing it the proper way. I'm not going to live with him before getting married like Caroline and Sirius. I'm not ready for that, nor will I be until that ring's on my finger. Call it the Catholic guilt syndrome. I think it's a great think, this guilt syndrome.

I wish I could see you again. I hope I will, someday. I love you both, so so very much.

Your forever loving daughter,

Lily

--

Dear Em,

I've missed you a lot lately. But I'll talk about that later. How've you been? How's heaven? I bet it's great, filled with hot guys. Give Jesus a hug for me, okay?

Guess who's dating James Potter?!? Yes! Me!!! Can you believe it? We're a couple. I wanted to write you earlier but I haven't been up to it. It's been a very stressful couple of months. Both my parents and his parents died but I bet you already knew that. I bet you're hanging out with them, watching out for me.

I still hate how you're gone, how you died two summers back. You were my best friend, kid, and I hate that you're gone.

I miss you, Em. Going home wasn't the same without you, at all. I wish you were still here. It's not fair that you're gone. Like that song or whatever says, "Only the good die young". I think it's because the rest of us are so fucked up while you're so perfect and content. I never know what to do or say while you were so prim and perfect. God Em, you were amazing. You were such a great person, like an angel on earth. And now, you really are an angel. And that hurts, a lot.

I wish I could see you again. I went to graduation earlier, back this summer. It would've been your year to graduate. They spoke about you, about how you were going to be valedictorian before the crash. How you could make anyone laugh and knew how to negotiate out of getting homework. But God it hurt to hear it. I wish they didn't speak about you. Well, no. I'm glad they did.

Kristin was valedictorian but she said she would gladly trade it for salutatorian if it meant that you'd be here, giving the speech. Andrew Harper was salutatorian and he said the same. They both miss you.

I saw Dan there. He was in a suit. He looked gorgeous. He gave me a hug and told me that he loved you. And I told him that I knew that and you knew that but that it felt good to hear it. Dan looks great, as he did before. He's still tall and built and blonde. It'd make you happy to see him. He hopes you're not cheating on him in Heaven (I told him how I bet there's a billion hotties up there). He told me to tell you he hasn't found anyone he loves just yet. It's still you.

It's strange to know that you aren't here anymore. I can't believe that almost everyone I've ever loved is with you now. My parents, grandparents, James's parents. It's scary.

It's Christmas right now, Christmas Eve. I bet you guys are all having this huge party up there. I bet you're doing the LIMBO right now. Remember how we were the QUEENS of Limbo? We were seriously great at it. I haven't limbo-ed since you died. The last time I did, in fact, was back when we hung out at your house and gossiped about boys. It was so much fun. I miss those days.

I'm not going to lie to you, darling, I've got friends. You know Caroline. We got a lot closer after you ditched us for that eternal party up in heaven (I know I sound like a complete loser in these letters, making it sound like you're on holiday but it's the only way I can cope with you and everyone being gone). Caroline and this girl named Pippa are my best friends, besides James and the boys. There was another girl named Lee-lee but that's another story. She had to leave and I haven't heard from her in two weeks.

I learned about the Wickard Witch Rebellions of 1721 today. It was one of the most interesting things I've ever learned in the History of Magic. I think it was interesting because James and Remus teamed up to teach it. They convinced Bins to let them try. It was brilliant. The entire rebellion was based on one person, a witch called Chastity the Unchaste. How great of a name is that? Chastity was this gorgeous witch who was totally into having affairs with any guy she liked. She had about thirty. Well one day she had an affair with a Muggle, who somehow realized that she was a witch (probably due to her setting his hair on fire in a moment of passion. Oops). He had major issues with this whole witch-thing, which is understandable because if most Muggles knew we existed they'd be either begging us for help or torching us. Not good choices but I digress. So Chastity got her fellow witches to torment this guy a bit, drive him mad with lust and the like. Well after that, he goes insane and starts this huge witch hunt. This got Chastity in deep water with the Minister of Magic (they had them back then!) and she got banned from having any interaction with Muggles. All witches did. Just because old Chastity the Unchaste likes to have some fun the rest of the witches got in trouble. So they all met up one day and decided to storm the Ministry. They brought on this huge war and it was bloody crazy. Supposedly a lot of hair was pulled and names were called. Well anyway, the witches won and they got to have their affairs. Chastity the Unchaste was hailed as almost a goddess and everyone went home happy except for the poor Muggle who suffered from lust.

Crazy story, isn't it? That's what most of what we learn is. There are a lot of interesting stories floating about the wizarding world. Too bad our teacher is awful at teaching.

I'm so glad you knew about me being magic. It killed me those first days before I told you. I was sooo worried that you'd hate me but then you were so happy for me! You were always like that, happy for everyone else. God you were such a great person.

I'm writing to you on Christmas Eve instead of hanging out in the Common Room with my best friends and boyfriend. Okay, I lied. My boyfriend is sitting next to me, reading a book. We're in the Head's Room and just relaxing together. He knew I wanted, no needed, some time apart from the others, much as I love them. I think Caro's writing you tonight too but I haven't a clue but a hunch. It's so strange to know you're gone, along with my parents. Your letter is much longer than theirs. I don't know how to express my sadness with them. I don't know how I'll send these, either. I think I'll figure it out later. James can help me.

God I love him. I didn't know I could love after all this crap. Turns out I can. I'm completely and madly in love with the boy. We haven't done anything but kiss (nor will we until marriage. All those years of Catholic primary school paid off for me, huh?). It's amazing to be with someone who you love so much it hurts. I love hanging out with him. We've taken a million pictures together, laughing. I love him.

I love you though, too. You were my first real friend, Em, and my first best friend. Without you I'd probably be eating dirt in disgusting blue overalls that were stained with peanut brittle. That's how much you've helped me.

All of your friends back home miss you. Dan's still madly in love with you. It hurt me to see that. I wish I could help him move on but I can't. I found out he blamed himself for it. I haven't figured out how but he did. He had to get some therapy but he's over that now. He knows it was fate and that you're in heaven. That's not to say he doesn't wish you were here, though. He misses you so much, honey. He puts fresh flowers on your grave once a week. He used to go once a day but his parents convinced him to try to pull back a little bit. He's a good guy, Em. It's too bad that you can't be here with him.

We were both so devastated after it happened. I think I want to write what happened. Maybe it'll be part of the healing process? I don't know. Either way, I want to say it.

It was the last day of June. I had just gotten home and Caro was with me. We were both so excited to see you, princess. So, so, so excited. And then we got home and everyone was crying. Someone said that you had been killed. God Em, you were only sixteen. I don't get why you died. I haven't a clue. I know who killed you but I mean, I never thought he'd go around killing Muggles. I hate that he's unstoppable, that he gets away with it. That bloody "Lord Voldermort". He thinks everyone's forgotten that he used to be called Tom Riddle. Well, I haven't forgotten and from now on I'll refer to him solely as "Tommy R" since it seems like he wants fear of his name. Tommy R seems to think that fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself, which does. That's why I refuse to do it. Tommy R will someday rot in hell and I intend to see that it happens. Trust me, Em, I will devote my life to finding him. If I can't do it, I'll help whoever can.

For a rapid change of subject here's an also unpleasant note. Petunia is getting married to a monster named Vernon. Okay, he may not be a literal monster but he is definitely one figuratively. He's about eight feet (more like 6) tall and weighs a billion and three pounds (more like 215 lbs). He has blonde hair that makes him look like a pig (no exaggeration there). You'd laugh if you saw him, mean though it sounds. He's also completely anti-witches. It's like a frickin brigade with Petunia and him. They call it "your kind" when they speak to me about it (which happens once every blue moon). He's a bit of a psycho but she loves him. Mum didn't like him much but what can she do?

Oh my God Em, I've lost almost everyone. You and Mum and Dad and James's parents. I don't know how he does it, how he stays strong. I know he misses them; we talk about it late at night when we're alone in the Common Room (it happens more often than you'd think). He's so much braver than I am. He's a lot like you in that respect.

I told him about you a while ago. When he was first "wooing" me I didn't. I didn't know how to yet. It was hard enough to have to go through my parents but telling him about you would've broken me.

He thinks you're an amazing woman. He also doesn't think I'm the least bit crazy for writing to you guys and my parents. He thinks it's sweet. Aren't I smart, to end up with the only boy on the planet who thinks my writing letters to the dead is sweet? I knew I loved him.

Speaking of love, Em, you must know that I love you and I miss you sooo much more than you can realize. I know this is a reoccurring theme in this letter, me telling you how much I need/miss you. But it's true, every word of it.

It was hard to see everyone again. Your funeral made me so sad. I hated going to it and yet I loved it. I loved it because I knew you were watching. I cracked the joke you wanted me to, the one you made me promise to say ages ago. God, how could you have known? How were you so smart, so perfect? You're everything I wish I was, Em.

You were the beautifully smart, vivaciously funny, phenomenal girl. You are the beautifully smart, vivaciously funny, phenomenal girl.

I love you, Em. You were my first best friend.

Don't make the angels laugh too hard. Give my parents a hug and tell them I'm quite sorry their letter is so short but I've so much to say to you that it's almost shameful.

Love forever,

Your Bestest Bud Forever N Ever,

Lilsie

--

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Potter,

Happy Christmas! I hope you guys are having a brilliant time up in Heaven with my parents. I'm sure you're having one ongoing party, getting toasted with the Lord. Must be nice.

I wanted to let you know something that I'm sure you knew about before, anyway. But I wanted to tell you myself.

I'm in love with your son. I'm absolutely, positively over-the-moon for him. I'm gaga, adoring, addicted, besotted over him. Honest to goodness I swoon when he walks into a room or vice versa. It's not an overly obvious swa-woon but it's a definite swoon. He's the reason I haven't gone insane or sank into a desperate depression.

The best thing about him is that he lets me choose if I want—no need—to cry or laugh. Some days he knows, I don't know how but he just knows, that I need to cry. He takes me into his arms and lets me. And then there are other days that we laugh and laugh for hours. We laugh about everything, the clouds in the sky or the color of his socks. It's so confusing, so wonderfully confusing.

The reason I'm telling you this is because I want to thank you. Not for dieing of anything outrageous like this. I want to thank you for raising him. For raising the boy—nope he's a man—I love. And I want you to know that I love him so much. I'm in love with your son and I hope to marry him someday, if he asks me.

Thank you so much, Mr. & Mrs. Evans, for him and all the love you've given him and my parents.

Love,

Lily Catharine Evans