There was snow falling gently on the grounds as the weekend of Valentine's Day approached. The Marauders and girls sat in their Charms class.

Prongsie, Moonboy, & Worms,

It's Sirius. I've some ideas about V-Day. What do you say?

-Slytherin robes should be converted into frilly ballerina tutus for the boys and ghoul costumes (like the ones Muggles wear at Halloween) for the "girls" (who're so ugly you can't really call them girls).

-Piñatas that have candy falling as you walk into the Great Hall. Everyone would love it and we can use sweets from Honeydukes.

-Snape and good old Malfoy could, in addition to the tutus, have their hair turned hot pink until October.

What do you say? Add in any ideas you have. We need more!

Frog's legs,

The amazingly glorious Sirius Black

James grinned as he read the note, taking care to add on.

Padfoot,

My ideas…

-Why not charm all the Slytherins' foul hair into psychotic shapes, i.e. Snape's into a butterfly and Malfoy's into a hummingbird?

-I agree with the piñatas.

-Charm the statues to wear Gryffindor sweaters, along with all the fellows in the chain mail… their name I don't remember… dammit what are they called? Suits of armor! Yeah, them. Charm them to wear Gryffindor clothes.

Frog's legs,

The infinitely more glorious and good looking James Potter

James,

Pranks, sound good. We'll do the piñatas and the suit of armor crap. For the Slytherins, add the tutus and we have a deal.

Frog's legs,

The hot Marauder, Padfoot

James slid the note across to Remus, who read it covertly. He nodded along at a few places and scribbled some notes on there.

First off, both of you are mad. But it's useful madness. I like the ideas. Only we need to do something special for the girls. What are you both doing for Caro and Lily?

I'm getting Lily a VERY special article of jewelry. A VERY special one.

Basically Prongsie here may be proposing, though I hope not. Caro will kill me if you propose first. Wait till graduation, I beg you.

Wow. You two are both serious about them. I'm impressed.

Of course I'm serious about Lily! Haven't I been crazy about her for ages

And Caro and I have been dating for nearly three years. We fucking live together, mate. Of course I plan on making an honest woman of her. Besides, there's this thing called love…

I feel extraordinarily jealous of the lot of you. I'm going to end up the only single one, the old single bugger who's half-mad. Watch me end up a teacher. That'll cement my loneliness.

I feel for you, mate. I really do.

I don't. You need a girl, Moony, and as Marauders, it is our duty to find you one!

I don't want you to find me one, Sirius Black.

I can…

Or you, Potter.

Why? We both did well with our girls.

Luck. And momentary stupidity on the part of the girls.

That was below the belt, Remus.

I apologize. You're right. I'm morphing into the jealous bugger already.

It's alright, mate. We'll find you someone. Hang in there. Lily's got loads of friends.

As does Caro.

They're the same, genius.

The friends?

Yes.

Oh.

Thanks for trying, guys. Really. It'll be okay. I'll be fine. I was only joking about the lonely lunatic part.

Too late, Remus. You've got the Marauders on your case. Besides, it's in the Code we signed.

What Code?

Yeah, what Code?

The Code! The one we signed back in fifth year at the beginning of our reign as Marauders?!? It's engraved within the Marauder's Map, if you know where to look!

I never knew it was there.

Me neither.

Bloody idiots, the lot of you. Gimme the map, Prongs.

Here you go.

James passed Sirius the map, who took it and sent James and Remus looks of disgust. He tapped the map with his wand and muttered "Agreementus" beneath his breath.

"Agreementus?" James asked quietly. "That's it? That's the password?"

Sirius glared at him so he shut up rather quickly. After a moment, Sirius passed it to James.

The Marauder Code of Conduct

Written by Masters Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

The following rules shall govern our lives as Marauders. Any breach of them will result in terminating of the rule breaker's life by means of tickling spells and/or the like.

1. Marauders are not allowed to ever betray another one.

2. Pranks are to be pulled a MINIMUM of three times a year. These pranks call for major planning. Minor ones may be pulled as often as one desires.

3. Severus Snape is our sworn enemy, along with Tom Riddle (fear of the name is bad. No calling him by his stupid fancy name. It's plain old Tom Riddle for us. Don't forget.)

4. Girls are accessories, not necessities. There's no need to ditch a friend for a girl. That's just low.

5. Should a Marauder be lacking a girl at Valentine's Day, the other Marauders are required by the Code to find that Marauder a girl for the day, whether he wants it or not.

6. Bubblegum must be chewed prior to every Quidditch game. The gum must be hot pink and bubbles must be blown the size of Snivelus's greasy head.

7. Porcupines are not to be pets, Mister Padfoot.

8. Nor are elephants, Mister Prongs.

9. And Mister Moony is not to have any pet gorillas.

10. Mister Wormtail is to avoid at all costs having any pet snakes.

The undersigned hereby agree to conduct themselves according to the Code. They are all (reasonably) sane and not under the influence of any mind-altering drugs. They furthermore agree that to honor the Code.

Mr. Prongs

Mr. Padfoot

Mr. Wormtail

Mr. Moony

"Merlin I'd forgotten about that!" James cried.

"Me too." Remus didn't look happy to have it brought up.

"So you see, Mister Moony, that unless you want to be responsible for three murders, we are hereby required to find you a girl." Sirius whispered it furiously, glancing at the girls around him.

"We'll make him a list." James suggested. "Lily and Caro can help us."

"Just brilliant." Remus muttered, rolling his eyes.

Peter sat and watched the exchange quietly. He had read over the Code, again, without commenting. It was just a silly set of guidelines, wasn't it?