Dear Diary

Chapter 6: Future

The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.

Unknown

Scotty didn't waste anytime after Lilly left, in going to IAB. He gave them a copy of the notebook pages. They took one look at it and laughed in his face.

"You've got to be joking, Valens. I've known John Stillman for a lot of years. We graduated from the Academy together. Our daughters are best friends. I know he had it rough after his divorce and everything. Wife took his kid and all he had left was his job and a shaky relationship with his girl. He wouldn't jeopardize the former, not even for the latter. Kid, I don't know where you got these, or who wrote them, but it's got to be a joke." The detective stated in firm disbelief.

"That's the thing, they were written by Lilly Rush." Scotty insisted.

"Now I know you're just messing with us. I know Rush too. She's just as dedicated as Stillman. She worked too hard to get where she is, to jeopardize her career over a fling. Go back to work, Valens, and forget it." Scotty had a dejected look on his face. He decided to just go home. He had been shot down by Rush, chewed out by Stillman, and laughed at by IAB. He needed some time to reflect on his motivations. Then it hit what he had just done. He had tried to get his best friend and mentor booted off the force, for what reason? Because he was jealous and wanted Lilly for himself. He didn't love her as more than a friend anyway, so what would be the point in that. He felt self-loathing at his pathetic attempt to break apart something that seemed to make both his friends truly happy, just because he wasn't. When he got home, Christina was waiting for him. He shrugged off her attentions.

"What's wrong?" She asked when he shrugged her off the second time.

"Bad day at work. I may have just tanked my whole career over something I have no control over. Something I should have thought through before I acted instead of after."

"What did you do?" Scotty explained what he had done. Christina looked at him in horror. " I can't believe what you just told me. If those other detectives hadn't believed you, you would have ruined two careers and probably the happiness of two people you call friends. Scotty, how could you? Get up now! We are going over to Lilly's and you are going to apologize and you're going to turn all the copies back over to my sister." Scotty looked like he was going to object, but the look on Christina's face was the same one that Lilly got when she was about to trap a suspect in his lies, determined and deadly. Scotty nodded and obediently followed her, biting back any objections he was going to make.

The drive seemed entirely too short, but the walk to Lilly's door seemed to take an eternity, as did the time it took for her to open the door. She almost slammed the door in his face, but paused when she noticed Christina standing behind him, an intense glare directed at his back. She almost smiled.

"What do you want, Scotty?" She asked.

"Is the Lieutenant here as well?"

"Yeah Scotty, I'm here. What do you want?" Stillman repeated Lilly's questions from over her shoulder.

"I wanted to apologize to you both for what I did. I had no right to invade your privacy and I'm sorry for threatening your relationship. Here are the copies I made, all of them. I took some time to examine my motives, and I realized that I didn't have a really good reason for trying to break you up. I was jealous and not because I'm in love with Lilly, but because of the absolute happiness I saw in her eyes. I realized that I wasn't accepting my own happiness, when it was staring me right in the face. I'm sorry about the problems I've caused and I know that I can't take it back. I can only hope that you will forgive me at some point." He paused for a moment. " You'll have my resignation in the morning." With that he turned back to Christina. They started down the walk and she wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I'm proud of you and I forgive you for being a dumbass, even is my sister doesn't." Lilly heard her whisper.

"Scotty, Christina wait." Both stopped and turned back to where Lilly and Stillman were standing in the doorway. "I accept your apology, but we'll need some time to forgive. You hurt us Scotty, and it hurts more because you're my friend and my partner. Give me a little space. We'll sort the rest out later. And Christina, I think its time we put the past behind us." Lilly said quietly. Christina jogged up the steps and hugged her sister before rejoining Scotty.

"You don't have to resign Scotty and if I see it on my desk, it will be shredded and denied. I'll need some time to forgive as well, but I do accept you apology." Stillman added. Scotty nodded to them and then headed home. Nothing was back to normal yet, it would never be the same again, but they were on their way to easing the tension between them.

Once Scotty and Christina had gone home, Lilly and John went back to their place in front of her fireplace.

"You really going to patch things up with your sister?" He asked.

"I'm going to try. I may have pushed her away too many times and it will be a long and drawn out process. I hope that we can forgive each other. This thing with Scotty made me realize that I need my family and friends and that no matter who hurts who, a person's family and friends are all they have. I love my sister. I just need to relearn how to like her again." Lilly answered. John nodded and pulled her close. They tossed the copies into the fireplace with the burning notebook and other papers.

"What about us? Are we okay?" Lilly asked softly from where her face was buried in his neck.

"We'll be fine. I love you. We may have had to face adversity now, at the beginning of our relationship, but we can survive this. We'll be fine."

"I believe you." She didn't sound convinced. John lifted her chin so that she was looking in his eyes.

"When Scotty told me he knew about us, I thought for sure I was going to lose you. That scared me more that anything he threatened. I couldn't stand the thought. I love you Lilly Rush and I'm ready to let go of my past and take my future with you. No matter what, I'm going to stay with you."

"I'm ready for that future too." John hugged her tighter and kissed her softly on the lips. They would make it, no matter what.

Future: The period of time in which out affairs prosper, our friends are true, and out happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce