Warning: Health Hazard
Epilogue
Axel yawned, acidic green eyes opening ever so slowly, as if preparing himself to face some horrible, unknown evil that lurked just beyond his self conscious.
He couldn't really remember what had happened last night; all he knew was that he'd gone to a party, hooked up with a cute girl and gotten drunk. Very drunk. Not drunk like Marluxia and Demyx, who'd ended up hurling their guts up in some artistically placed aspidistras outside Kairi's stucco mansion (she'd be pissed when she found all the beer cans and sticky goop in her terracotta plant pots in the morning), but drunk enough. Drunk enough to forget everything that had happened after escorting the cute girls to… A nightclub, perhaps? It seemed like as good a place as any that a drunk Axel would take a fit chick to.
There had been dancing, and colourful lights… Shouting and lots of noise. And a bar. There had to have been a bar. But even as he tried to remember, the details slowly slipped away in a blurry haze, colours slowly running like a canvas left out in the rain. Colours and details and events started to mix together into an unintelligible gloop of pounding techno music, green bottles and gyrating bodies. He couldn't remember a thing.
He didn't even know who the cute girl he'd been out with was. Which sucked just a little bit, because his last girlfriend had dumped him and it would be nice to remember who he'd had such a good time with last night. The way Axel saw it, if he'd gotten drunk enough to suffer from amnesia and a complete memory lapse he'd had a good time, no doubt about it.
Well, he reasoned with himself, peeling his body off the grimy, crumb-strewn beige carpet of his living room (he figured he'd been too wrecked to collapse into his own bed after he got home last night, making him wonder even more on just what he'd been doing. Hopefully nothing illegal – he'd already had a caution for playing with firecrackers in the street).
He'd been with Roxas the whole time. He could not remember leaving the younger blond's company for the entire duration of last night. Which wasn't saying much, as he could barely remember a thing anyway.
Surely nothing too bad could have happened. Roxas was a sensible one, who had tutted at Demyx and Marluxia throughout most of the party when they'd stationed themselves at the drinks cabinet in the kitchen and refused to budge only when they needed to run outside to be sick. Roxas would've stopped any harm that might have befallen him in his drunken stupor, and taken him back home when he was almost ready to pass out. Roxas was a good kid; he didn't even get drunk. He'd always watched out for Axel and made sure he never did anything rash or stupid that he might regret later. Why would he stop now?
Axel made his way to the kitchen, splashing cold water from the sink onto his pasty white face. He couldn't help but notice his fingers were shaking, leading him to wonder just how wasted he'd gotten last night all over again. It was a good thing his parents had been away that night, or they'd be really pissed off about the mess in the house and the state of their only child.
Feeling slightly more awake once the icky, unattractive, yellow sleepy gunk had gone from his eyes and into the sinkhole in a cascade of cool water, he moved towards the fridge, ready to scourge the shelves for anything that could be passed off a nutritious breakfast. He was hungry, as he was a growing boy who needed substance to keep running. He ate an awful lot, despite the numerous 'anorexic' remarks people bestowed upon him at school due to his flat stomach and visible ribs.
And then he stopped, staring in horror at the gleaming white door of the fridge. His trembling fingers reached up and, with a deft movement, pulled the single photograph and sheet of white paper from the door with much snapping of sellotape and pounding of his heart.
He began to read the note.
Dear Axel,
Me and Yuffie had a great time last night! You took us to a really great nightclub! Atlantica. Just in case you forgot which one. I loved all the dancing, and I even took a picture of you and Roxas. You know, for a keepsake. I made loads of copies, too, just in case anybody else wanted one. All the yaoi fangirls at school who subscribe to me'n Yuff's pictures of hawt couples won't be disappointed, let me tell you. You two were really enjoying yourselves, you know.
Not that me and Yuffie had anything to do with it. Spiking your drinks, I mean. Hehehehe. Well, we didn't that much. We only paid the bartender to do it. He was desperate for extra munny. Anyway, I think it was all worth it, and all those fangirls will agree with me. That picture is like solid gold, you know.
Axel stared at the photo in horror, eyes wide, heart pounding so hard it was in danger of bursting out of his ribcage and onto the black'n'white chequered floor in a show a gunge and blood.
He'd been out with Selphie and Yuffie. The two girls who were responsible for the downfall of Demyx and Zexion after conning them into a double date, spiking their drinks and then handing out photos of them in some rather compromising positions! They had their own FANGIRL CLUB, for crying out loud! Half of the school subscribed to their yaoi program, a dollar per picture for each desperate, shonen-ai loving girl. Yeah, at the time Axel had thought it was rather funny, what with Demyx being set upon daily by fangirls asking him to kiss Zexion some more (they'd PAY him, and probably eat their own legs too if they thought it would help) but it wasn't now it was happening to him…
There he was in the photo, lips pressed against his best friend's, looking ever so much like a soppy happy couple that it hurt. His eyes were BLEEDING, goddamnit it!
He flipped the photo over, noticing yet another chirpy little message scrawled on the back with a blue biro. It was written in cursive, all the dots on the 'i's replaced with hearts and over-large, looping swirls on the bottoms of the 'y's. Selphie's trademark handwriting, just like the prose on the letter, that was also adorned with hearts and stars and other girlie girlie things.
Hope you thank us later for saving your love life! You can live in denial no longer!
--Selphie & Yuffie
Proud spreaders & suppliers of yummy yaoi goodness since 2005
Axel dropped the photo like it was red-hot, mouth frozen in a silent scream of horror.
His life was officially over.
a.n: and thus, this story comes to a close. i hope you liked eet :3 please r + r!
skitts x x x