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The Ultimate Largely Massive Pointlessly-Named Big Final Bout Super Tournament… 5!!! – Chapter 13!

Last time on Dragonball Z:

Vegeta: Hah! Now feel the force of your own attack!

Lisa: No! I can't move!

Vegeta: That's right! Now DIE!!!!

And so, it's Lisa Vs. her own Drunken Rave Herworthamata wave attack! Will her own technique write the final chapter of her life? Find out today, on Dragonball Z!

When we last left Lisa she was pinned to the floor by Vegeta, as her Drunken Rave Herworthamata followed him everywhere, and now he plans to have it hit her!
          "Yes! Now you die!" Vegeta yelled, triumphantly.
          "You wish!" Lisa cried as she kicked Vegeta up in the way of the blast! This sudden rush of panic and adrenalin seemed to have sobered her up. "Everybody run!!!!" She cried as she ran away from the resulting explosion. Vegeta was left dazed, confused, and defeated. Vegeta didn't realise, but Bakaryu was dragging him to the Male hot springs. Bakaryu threw Vegeta into the springs and left him there. He then turned the air conditioning to the max.
          "That'll show him," Bakaryu said to Lisa. "It'll be too hot to stay in, but it'll be too cold to get out!" Lisa laughed.

          "Nice work!" she congratulated. Sarah and Leanne were helping DJ to stand up when Lisa returned to the bar. "Hey, Deej, you OK?" Lisa asked.

          "Particle Man, Particle Man…… doin' the things a particle can…" DJ sang.

          "Ah, I thought so. D-Chan, wanna help me get this drunk to a Senzu dispenser?"
          "What's he like? It's not important, Particle Man…" D-Chan added to the song. Lisa sighed.

          "OK, you win…" she gave up and sang with the rest of them.

          "Is he a dot, or is he a speck? When he's underwater does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead? Nobody knows, Particle Man…"

Back at the arena, Piccolo was doing some warming up stretches, while Chichi was looking rather pissed off.

          "Now I can finally pay you back for kidnapping my sweet little Gohan!" Chichi yelled.
          "If he'd have become a scholar early, like you wanted, Cell would have killed us all!" Piccolo yelled in reply.
          "Don't you start yelling at ME! At least I don't have a pair of antennae on my head! What are they for, trying to tune your brain in?"

          "That's pretty big talk coming from a woman whose name means breasts!" This just crossed the line. Chichi gained a fiery red aura all around her body.
          "What did you say?!" she yelled. Piccolo took a few steps back.
          "Umm… I think I'm in trouble…"
          "You better believe it!" Chichi yelled as she charged toward Piccolo.
          "I'd better not let her attack, or I'm done for!" Piccolo decided. Before Chichi could react any further, Piccolo delivered four quick and successive punches. Chichi was knocked to the floor, but easily got back up. Deciding once again not to let her attack, Piccolo kicked Chichi in the stomach to make her sort of crouch forward, then roundhouse kicked her across the arena. Chichi staggered to her feet to see Piccolo rushing toward her, so this time SHE decided to bring things her way, sending her left knee to Piccolo's chin! Piccolo staggered back, and applied a karate chop to Chichi's shin.
          "You'll pay for that!" Chichi yelled as she jumped at Piccolo in an attempt to kick him, but he dodged back just in time.
          "Not that quick off the mark, are you?" Piccolo asked. "Take this!" Piccolo rushed up to Chichi, giving momentum for an upward kick that sent Chichi flying across the arena again, nearly reaching the edge. "Oh, this is just too easy. Just how do you manage to control Goku anyway?"
          "Try like THIS!" Chichi yelled, quickly strafing around and head-butting Piccolo. Piccolo stumbled forward a few steps, and fell over.
          "Hey, for some reason, the marble feels soft…" Piccolo said.
          "That's because it's grass." Chichi replied. "You lose!"
          "What?!" yelled Piccolo. It was true! The whole crowd was cheering as Chichi had pulled off her second win!
          "Hey, Chichi!" Bulma called. "You did it again! You're through to the next round!"
          "Hey, I am, aren't I?" Chichi cheered. "Yay! I beat Piccolo!" A certain defeated Namek wasn't having any of it, however.
          "Oh, shut up!" Piccolo grumbled.

          "Chichi won again!?" Gokan asked as he watched from the sidelines. "That's amazing! I never knew she was so strong!"
          "Well, what can I say?" Hawk replied. "If she's been betting on steeplechases and hasn't won a yen in ten years, the frustration's gotta catch up to her sooner or later…"
          "I'm just glad you're not using that Time-Of-The-Month joke again…" Bakaryu added. "I know a lotta people, male and female, who'd try to kick your ass for that…"
          "Well, I think we all know who to blame for that…" Gokan said, glaring up through the screen
          "What!?" I asked. "You think I typed that because I wanted to? Get back to the story! I'm trying to progress onto the plot!"
          "Oh, we've got a plot this time, have we?" Gokan asked.
          "Hey, Gokan?" Hawk asked. "Who are you talking to?"

          "Ah, no-one really… come on, let's catch up to the others and see if we can sober them up for the next heat…"

          "Come on, DJ! Get up and take your Senzu bean!" Lisa cried, trying desperately to keep DJ standing up and put a Senzu bean in his mouth at the same time.

          "Triangle Man, Triangle Man, Triangle Man hates Particle Man…" DJ continued to sing. "They have a fight, Triangle wins, Triangle Man…"

          "I'll SHOW you how he wins if you don't stop fooling around! Now take the damn Senzu bean!" Lisa finally managed to get DJ to eat it after a few minutes of wrestling. DJ is sobered up almost instantaneously!

          "Huh?" DJ says. "What's going on?"

          "Finally!" Lisa breathed a sigh of relief. "One down, one to go… where's Leanne?"

          "She's in the corner, singing to Thomas and the jukebox…" DJ replied. Lisa walked over to Leanne and tried to lift her to her feet, but to no avail. Fighting with Vegeta and trying to control her crazy cousin had sapped all her strength!

          "Come on, Leanne! You have to sober up for your match!" Lisa called, still trying to lift Leanne to her feet. As if Lisa's lack of energy wasn't bad enough, Leanne was clutching the Jukebox!

          "Universe Man, Universe Man, size of the entire universe, man!" Leanne sang.

          "Usually kind to smaller man, Universe Man…" Thomas continued.

          "Geez, I'm gonna know the entire song by the time this tournament's through!" Lisa sighed. "Since I don't have the energy to lift you two and the jukebox, just take the Senzu beans…" Lisa dropped a Senzu bean each in Leanne and Thomas' mouths, sobering them up and replenishing their energy.

          "Whoa, what happened to me?" Leanne asked. "Why do I feel like you sucker-punched me again?"

          "Are you ever gonna let that drop?" Lisa replied in question. "You got enough revenge when you beat me into the arena in our last match!" Leanne suddenly looked shocked.

          "Of course! The match!" she cried. "I don't remember who it's against, but I gotta hurry!" And with that, Leanne rushed out of the bar toward the arena.

          "He's got a watch with a Minute hand, Millennium hand and an Eon hand, and when they meet it's a happy land! Powerful man, Universe Man…" DJ sang.

          "DJ, you're no longer drunk!" Lisa cried.

          "I know, it's just a cool song." DJ replied, sticking his tongue out. Lisa buried her face in her hands.

          "Am I the only one who's trying to keep some order here?"

          "Says the girl who's walking around in her bra!" DJ laughed. Lisa suddenly blushed and looked down on her chest. Strange, her clothes are still there.

          "DJ…" Lisa started.

          "MADE YA LOOK!" DJ called from the corridor, laughing as he headed for the arena. Lisa rushed to the door to call after DJ:

          "OK, just for that, I'm rooting for Leanne!!!"

The first match of the third heat was about to begin, and the crowd's cheering and hollering couldn't make it more evident! Bulma and Chichi had to raise their voices to be able to speak over the crowd, even with their microphones!

          "The crowd's cheering more than ever as Leanne makes her way onto the arena floor!" Bulma calls.

          "Yeah, after her stunning victory against Lisa, she's gained a lot of recognition for action!" Chichi adds. "Can we hope to see a Power Trigger transformation again?" Usually, Leanne's shy and wouldn't interact much with a welcome like this, but now she's bathing in the spotlight, enjoying every moment of her new-found stardom. Forget fifteen minutes of fame, this would be more like fifteen millennia!! The crowd's cheers intensified as DJ translocated himself to the arena. A fighter who's proven himself as a hero pitted against the only girl to effectively use Power Trigger in an official match for all to see! This would be a match to remember! DJ underwent a shock as he remembered who his match is against!

          "Damn it, why does it have to be Leanne?" he cried.

          "It's too late now!" Chichi called. "Remember you said that this fighting wouldn't interfere with your friendships! So I don't think your friendships should interfere with this fighting!"

          "She has a point, I'm afraid, DJ…" Leanne sighed, sorrowfully. "Besides, I can always give you some Senzu beans and Budweiser after I kick your ass!"

          "Let the battle begin!" Bulma called.

          "No! I can't do it!" DJ cried as the bell rang. "Out of everyone I've been put against, she's the one person who I REFUSE TO FIGHT!"

          "What is he thinking?!" Zin asked. "DJ's just gonna give up!?"

          "You can't expect him to be able to fight…" Amy sighed. "He'd never want to fight any of us…"

          "Hey…" Zeon interrupted, slamming a beer can on the table. "He was fighting me and Zori no problem…"

          "Get with it, Zeon, we're not GIRLS…" Zori said. "He's really reluctant against fighting like this. It's OK with us, because we all have the same intentions, but if DJ's fighting with a girl she can really make it look like he's hurt her feelings…"

          "So THAT'S his weak spot…" Vegeta concluded. "Hey, that's a point, what was I doing in the hot springs when I woke up?! It took me ages to get back to my regular temperature!" Vegeta started looking around for someone to blame. Everyone else ignored him.

          "So, when's DJ gonna realise his situation and fight?" Zeon asked.

          "Only he knows for sure," Zori replies. "But if he doesn't realise soon, he's gonna lose…"

Back at the arena, DJ was having problems of his own…

          "I can't do this!" he called as he turned and ran. Leanne quickly outran DJ and sent a kick to his head, sending him reeling to the floor.

          "Uh-oh! That looked like it hurt more than I'd hope…" Leanne cried as she rushed toward DJ. "Stand up, DJ! Why won't you fight?" DJ looked up to meet Leanne's gaze, then looked away.

          "I…" he started. "I can't…"

          "If DJ doesn't stand up, Leanne's liable to FINISH him!" Chichi cried. "We don't want to see a one-sided match!"

          "Get up, DJ!" Bulma called. "Get up, get up, GET UP!"

          "Come on, DJ!" Leanne yelled. "Remember all the times you got hit with a mallet unexpectedly!?"

          "Wait a second…" DJ said as he suddenly recalled every time he'd been hit, every time the pain flowed through his head for the sake of Anime entertainment… "Yeah, it was you who did that every time! Why WAS that, anyway?" DJ suddenly stood up and started letting electricity fly everywhere! Leanne was forced to take a few steps back, as though tension were suffocating her. "Something funny about giving me concussions? I get enough headaches trying to figure out what goes on in the world around me!" A few random lightning bolts shot through the sky, blasting the arena as DJ kept advancing. Leanne was forced to step back, but she suddenly realised that she couldn't step back any further! Because if she did, she'd step out of the arena and lose the match!

          "DJ, you wouldn't really try to seriously hurt me, would you?" Leanne asked. DJ stopped dead in his tracks. It's true, no matter how mad at this whole mallet thing he was, DJ could never bring himself to hurt Leanne.

          "I…" DJ started. Leanne was unsure whether DJ was going to just stand there, or unleash a sneaky surprise attack. After all, he was unpredictable. Instead of staying still, or attacking, DJ just fell to his knees. "I can't do it!!!"

          "DJ, what are you doing?" Lisa cried. "These people are gonna start throwing things if you don't get your act together!" Vegeta was actually watching alongside with Lisa, Amy and Sarah.

          "Hey, what's the girl's name?" Vegeta asked.

          "Her name's Leanne." Amy replied.

          "Geez, I thought you'd remember THAT!" Lisa added.

          "Oh, shut up…" Vegeta retorted. "HEY, LEANNE! WHAT ARE YOU STANDING AROUND STARING AT?! KICK HIS ASS ALREADY! IF YOU TAKE ONE FURTHER STEP BACKWARD YOU'LL STEP OUT OF THE ARENA AND LOSE! YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HIM DO THAT, ARE YOU!?"

          "Well, that WOULD be pretty sneaky…" Leanne admitted.

          "THEN BEAT HIM UP BEFORE HE GETS THE CHANCE!" Perhaps without thinking, Leanne quickly kicks DJ from one end of the arena to the other! "DJ, get up! We want a real fight here!" Vegeta continued to yell. Whose side was he on anyway? Vegeta fired a ki shot at DJ, which he's not allowed to do, but since it's Vegeta we can tell he didn't care!

          "Hey, whaddaya think you're doing!?" DJ cried as he jumped up out of the way of the blast. The resulting explosion was small, but it was enough to send DJ stumbling forward, his face finding a comfy place in Leanne's bosom!

          "Hey!!" Leanne yelled. DJ quickly jumped back.

          "Wait!" he cried. "It was an accident!" Leanne was having none of it this time! She was sending punches and kicks left, right and centre, and DJ was throwing his own punches to counter the assaults, in order to keep his head!

          "Out of the frying pan, and into the fires of Hell!!" Vegeta laughed.

          "Vegeta, that wasn't fair!" Amy protested.

          "Oh, stop complaining, Balloon Breasts…" Lisa said. "He got the fight going, didn't he?"

          "Don't you find anything unfair about this, Blitzball Boobs!?" Amy shot back.

          "I never thought I'd say this…" Vegeta sighed. "But those two could actually make a man SICK of hearing about those things!"

          "Ah, you'll get used to it…" Sarah replied. "Oh, and by the way, if DJ gets too badly hurt because of your little stunt, then not only will I break every bone in your body, but the world will also learn you wear Bobo brand underwear…" Vegeta's face turned redder than the reddest red thing you could possibly imagine!

          "What!? How did you know about that!?" he yelled. This actually caused Amy to break from her argument with Lisa.

          "Hey, you wear Bobo's too?" Amy asked.

Absolutely everyone had crowded around to watch this fight now! Could this be the one match DJ would actually LOSE!?

          "Go get' em, Leanne!" Angel cheered. "You too, DJ!"

          "How do you keep rooting for two people at the same time?" Hawk asked.

          "It's easy! Just cheer for them both!"

          "Can DJ win after Vegeta pulled off a stunt like THAT?" Stormi asked.

          "I'm starting to doubt it…" Delon replied. "DJ's only hope would be to just transform into 2BadGanje and use his 2Bad Cap attacks from a safe distance… but since he doesn't want to hurt Leanne…"

          "DJ's basically screwed…" Kage says.

          "I always thought Leanne would be too shy to do much fighting…" Bakaryu said. "But give her the right situation and she's more powerful than Veggie!"

          "DON'T CALL ME VEGGIE!!!" Vegeta's voice tears through the audience. Thomas, Jedite and Krillin (Yes, Krillin!) quickly rushed to the sidelines from the bar.

          "What did I miss?" Krillin asked.

          "Hidoi the Valley Robot's been taking over as referee," Yhamcha-Robii explained. "Sephihimoto killed some of the audience and destroyed another arena, and despite not being a member of the audience, DJ just got the best view in the house!"

          "You pervert!" D-Chan cried, slapping Yhamcha-Robii across the face. "I've got a good mind to tell Leanne what you said! Then there'll be another fight for us all to see!"

          "Leanne's fighting already?" Thomas cried, pushing past everyone to get to the front. "Yeah! Go, Leanne!!!"

          "I remember when he used to be shy…" Jedite sighed. "Anyway, who's Leanne fighting against?"

          "She's fighting against DJ…" Kage replied. "They were pretty reluctant at first, but Vegeta fired a ki blast at DJ, which sent him flying into Leanne, and now she's trying to hospitalise the poor guy…"

          "Why? What's so bad about falling into someone accidentally?"

          "Let's just say that Leanne doesn't think bras are used for supporting guys' faces…" Delon sighed.

          "Oh… damn, Vegeta's a pervert! And DJ's in big trouble!"

Back at the arena, Jedite's words about DJ being in big trouble were being confirmed! Leanne was using the Hundred Foot Blaze attack that Lisa uses, and all DJ could do was try to frantically block the onslaught!

          "Leanne, would you get a grip!?" DJ cried. "It was Vegeta's fault, not mine!"

          "Still, I bet you enjoyed it in there, didn't you?!" Leanne yelled, throwing a quick punch to DJ's face. For the first time in the match, DJ actually got a grip himself, parrying and grabbing the blow.

          "If that were the case, I wouldn't have backed away so quickly, would I?!" After this, both fighters remained still, floating in the air and staring into each other's eyes. Leanne's gaze of fury soon dissolved.

          "You really ARE telling the truth…" Leanne sighed.

          "That's what I've been trying to tell you…" DJ replied. "But nobody ever seems to listen to me…"

          "If that's the way you feel, then release your anger now! Come on, DJ, fight!" Leanne was trying to get DJ wound up so that he'd actually fight. But still, could DJ really try to damage a friend as close as Leanne?

          "I won't!" DJ cried. "I won't fight you, Leanne!" Getting an idea, DJ started spinning around, taking Leanne with him! Using this momentum, DJ threw Leanne at the audience, or to be more precise… "The real enemy is VEGGIE!"

          "Holy crap!" Leanne cried. "DJ, what are you doing?!" Vegeta was in a state of shock himself! He'd actually bought himself a hot dog, and he had no time to prepare for the oncoming attack!

          "No! Don't fly any closer! Stay back!" Vegeta cried. But it was too late! In order to minimise damage to herself, Leanne had curled into a ball for a spin attack, and rebounded off Vegeta after smashing him into a wall! DJ flew back to the arena floor and caught Leanne on her way back down.

          "What was THAT about?" Leanne cried, more shocked than anything else.

          "Hey, I caught you to stop you from getting hurt, didn't I?" DJ replied in question.

          "Good point… thanks, DJ…"

          "You're welcome Leanne. Oh, and by the way…" DJ set Leanne back down on her feet, but she noticed that DJ was on the marble floor and she was now on the grass! "I win!" If it weren't for the audience cheering like mad over this really insane victory, DJ would have heard Leanne call him the "sneakiest sneak that ever sneaked".

          "Oh, my God!" Bulma cried. "In a sudden act of surprise, the underdog of the match actually came out on top!"

          "Winning a fight without even fighting?" Chichi asked. "Trust someone like DJ to find a way to do that!"

          "Holy crap!" Delon called from the sidelines. "DJ didn't lose! He actually won!"

          "I can't believe it either!" Thomas replied. "But…"

          "But?" Kage asked. Thomas looked as though he was about to cry.

          "But… that means Leanne LOST!"

          "Ah, the benefits of rooting for both people…" Angel laughed. "It doesn't matter if I always half-lose on account of I always half-win!"

          "I wonder what the next match is gonna be?" Krillin wondered.

          "It's gonna be Chichi and…" Bakaryu started, but suddenly froze. "Uh-oh…"

          "Who's Uh-oh?" Krillin asked.

          "Not Uh-oh, you silly bald fool! I meant uh-oh! Chichi's going against Sephi-whatchamacallit!"

          "What!?" Everyone cried. "You're joking?!"

          "I wish I was," Bakaryu sighed. "But they're the only ones left who haven't been defeated…"

          "Hey, does that mean that in the finals, DJ could fight Chichi?" Stormi asked. "That would be a laugh!"

          "Yeah, it would…" Angel admitted. "But unfortunately the chances of that happening are about a zillion to one…"

          "DJ is through to the finals!" Bulma's voice echoes through the speakers. "That means the next match is between Chichi and Sephihimoto! After this match we'll move on to the Consolation matches and work up to the finals of those, then after the finals of the Consolation matches, we'll do the final of the main event!" Everyone starts to head for the bar to congratulate DJ and Leanne for such a great fight, and pray that Chichi doesn't end up getting killed…

Man, this has taken me YEARS to do! I'm gonna be old and grey by the time this fanfic's done! I'd better keep ahead of my game to make sure I don't get writer's block again! Sorry for the wait, thanks for being so patient, and all the rest of it. :p