Sorry to have left it at the question, Em darling. I ran out of parchment and had to scurry upstairs to get some more (and I like being dramatic, of course). And then I met up with Pippa and Caroline and stressed for a bit about exams before I remembered that I had so cruelly left you at that very important question! So, to continue.

"Lily Catharine Evans, will you marry me?" The words are engraved in my heart, Em. I swooned hearing them.

I could barely speak. I must have sounded like an idiot. My God how stupid my reply must have come out. I just stuttered out some version of "yes" and nodded to make sure he understood. I stared at him and I didn't even look at the ring, Em. I was watching him, making sure he wasn't about to yell "just joking" or something to that affect. God Em, I'm ENGAGED.

Of course being ENGAGED hasn't changed our relationship at all. We argue like little children about everything. Just this morning we bickered over who took their Head duties more seriously. I mean, honestly Em, it's idiotic. We argue and laugh and shake our heads at each other and it's just wonderful.

James writes me notes a lot, little letters I keep for the sake of remembering. I'm going to burn them someday soon. I'm going to burn them because I don't want someone else to burn them for me.

My great-grandmother was called Sophia. She was a beautiful woman and I wish I had gotten the chance to meet her but I never did. My mum, however, told me about how, years ago when she had first married my dad, she had stumbled into Sophia's bedroom. Sophia didn't look the least bit surprised as she looked up from what she was doing. She was burning all of her letters and photographs. She didn't want to keep them. She said it was better for her to burn them and remember than someone else to burn them and not care. That's how I feel about the letters James has written me. A part of me wants to keep them forever, rereading them every day. But I know that if I have to convince myself by reading his letters that he loves me then there is a very big problem in our relationship. Which is why I'm going to burn those letters. But I think I'll do it after our WEDDING!!!

God Em, I wish you were here for it. I'd deck you out in a stunning blue gown with fairies in your hair. You'd look beautiful, as always. I miss you so much. It hurts so bad, Em. God I hate this part, writing to you when it hits me that you're gone. It hurts so much. I can feel my eyes tearing up. You'd laugh at me right now, tease me away from my sadness. And now there's nothing you can do. Because I'm sad and alone without you and you're happy and with everyone up there. Only I'm here, Em, alone. I know I have James, I know I love him, but he's no you. He's not my best friend in the entire world whom I've known from primary school. He's my fiancé whom I love so much and is my best friend but I haven't known him since primary school. He's not you.

I think I've been punishing Pippa and Caroline lately for that. For not being you. I've separated myself from them a little, drawing my cloak closer to myself. It's so selfish of me, to isolate myself when I know others are hurting. That's why I'm pushing myself out of it, Em. I'm going out there, comforting those who have lost someone to Voldemort. And I swear to you that I will do anything I can to stop him. To stop the needless murders and to let peace reign again. Oh God Em, I want to stop him.

Here's an attempt at an abrupt change of topic, darling Em, 'cos I'm tired of thinking of things that make me sad. Of all the people I've lost and all the people I will probably end up losing. My God Em, it feels so terrible. The change of topic didn't work, at all. I'm still thinking about death. About loss. About life.

Life goes on. I've learned that so well. I learned it first when you left me. It was hard, I swear to you it was. But I managed to laugh again. And then when my parents and his parents… my God Em! They're all gone. It's been a few months but it still weighs upon my mind. I'm an orphan

I spoke to Severus earlier. He's practically an orphan with the parents he has. We spoke a while ago, when I was sitting in the library.

"Do you need something?" I asked, trying to be nice-ish.

"Yes, actually. I need to talk to you." Severus replied.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"We need to talk, Lily."

"There's nothing to talk about, Severus."

"Are you really engaged to him?"

"If by him," I mimicked the venom in his voice, "you mean James Potter, then yes, I am." I raised an eyebrow. "Come to congratulate me?"

"Never," Severus spat. "Never would I congratulate you for marrying that trash."

"Watch it, Snape," I replied coldly. "James is my fiancé and I love him."

"You love him?"

I looked at him strangely. "Why else would I be marrying him?"

"For money."

"I'm not lacking in that department."

"Security then. You're feeling insecure."

I glared at him. "I'm feeling nothing but love, Snape."

"Are you serious? Are you honestly going to marry him?"

I nodded.

Severus shook his head at me. He gave me a last fleeting look before walking away.

It's strange, knowing he knew you. But he's just changed so very much. I know he was a bit of an extremist about blood purification and all but he did like you. He thought you were a great person, which you were… are… were. It's so confusing.

Speaking of confusing, guess what we learned about in our last History of Magic lesson.

Knuckers. They're water demons that tend to deal with Slubberdegullions, which are little disgusting creatures that tend to reside in the same swampy areas that Knuckers do. They're not very friendly. Slubberdegullions and Knuckers have major issues with wizards, just like goblins do, because they don't understand our culture and vice versa. Knuckers think that wizards are very selfish since we took over some of the swampy areas they adore and wizards think Knuckers are stupid silly things who need to get over it all. I sympathize with the Knuckers and Slubberdegullions but I mean, we do need land, don't we? The Knuckers send out will-o'-the-wisps to the travelers they meet, drawing them near. They're a bit demonic but also rather cute. They're not too awful. Slubberdegullions are the worse ones, driving everyone mad with their silly experiments on flora and fauna.

Our old password was "namby-pamby" and I thought of you every time I entered the Common Room 'cos I remember how much fun we used to have making up nonsensical words that last summer we had together. And then of course all the hours we put in looking up strange words that made us giggle. It was so much fun, hanging out with you and using our little words. Of course they weren't very little, seeing as how they were nearly a dozen letters or so long.

Remembering all the good times keeps me from thinking about you being gone. I wrote to Dan a few times, kept up with how he's doing. He's at university now, studying. He says he's trying to keep busy, keep from remembering you. He says it doesn't work very well though. He told me he placed a letter on your grave from him. He offered to place another one there for me but I told him no. I've got to send mine to you, as though they were actually going to go to you. Cos I believe they are. They're going to go to my best friend, Em, who just happens to reside in Heaven. That's all, a change of address.

I bet you've been playing loads of tennis in Heaven. Loads of tennis and dance. I can just imagine you pirouetting across a tennis court with St. Peter being the announcer for the match and Mary Magdalene as your opponent. It's lovely, Em, thinking of you in that way. With God cheering you on. That's how I see you.

I miss you, Em. But keep playing that winning game for me, okay? You're up in your first set. Three games to none. You're serving forty-love. You got this, Em. You've got this.

Ace that serve, Em.

Lily Catharine Evans.

Author's Note: Thank you for all of the reviews! They keep me going, seriously!

Sorry for the sporadic updates. Blame schoolwork and being a senior. Other than that, though, I'll do my best to keep up with my story. )