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The Ultimate Largely Massive Pointlessly-Named Big Final Bout Super Tournament… 5!!! – Chapter 19!
The next fight to begin was between Zori and Zeon. In all honesty, many of the cast had wondered what the outcome of this type of battle would be… but that won't be for another few minutes! Everyone was still in awe over the outcome of Amy and Lisa's match! Amy displayed a spectacular feat of dynamism and intelligence from when she and Lisa were battling high above the Earth, right to the end where she blasted Lisa's feet with the Aquanihillation attack to take the match! So while Amy was happily eating, drinking and being complimented and congratulated, Lisa was wondering how to get the countless male strangers to stop staring at her.
"Way to go, Amy!" Zeon cheered, enthusiastically. "I had a feeling you were gonna pull through, ya know. I mean, fire vs. water? Besides, you have a certain intellectual advantage. Come on, you KNEW Lisa couldn't use her fire up where there was less oxygen, right?"
"Actually, neither of us had any idea…" Amy replied.
"Ah, always modest, even at the end. I like that about you, Amy. You don't feel the need to brag about your unique abilities until we all get sick, like a certain Saiyan I won't mention…"
"First thing, Zeon…" Zori perked up. "Leave Veggie alone. He's MY Dad, after all. I get first dibs on insulting him! And, we can all tell that you fancy Amy!" Zeon began to blush.
"Dude! Quit it!" Zeon cried, turning as red as a tomato.
"Now you know how I felt when you kept making fun of me for loving Lisa-chan!" Zori smirked. Lisa blushed a little. I mean, come on, now Zori can see her in a bright red second-skin leotard! You'd blush too! Anyway, not long after this, Vegeta himself had homed in on Zori for saying the V word…
"How many times do I have to tell you idiots!?" Vegeta yelled. "STOP CALLING ME VE-" Vegeta stopped in his tracks as he noticed Lisa. "Well, hello!!"
"Just shoot me…" Lisa sighed, resting her arms on the table, and her head in her arms.
"I see I'll have to be more persuasive… ahem are you from a different planet, Lisa?"
"We're from Darkstormia, Veggie. Why?"
"Because DAMN! Your ass is outta this world!" This was just about all Lisa could stand. If Vegeta wasn't trying to kill her, he was trying to flirt with her! Clearly showing that she'd had enough, Lisa stood up, faced Vegeta and grabbed him by the neck!
"I really don't care for the way you said that, Saiyan!" she growled. Vegeta was, for once, visibly quaking in fear.
"Umm, I-I meant it on the nicest possible terms, you realise…" he stammered, sweating drastically. "I was merely thinking in the sense of yin and yang, concerning male psychology and female physiology, and you're about to hit me, aren't you?" Too right! Lisa easily used her free hand to deliver an uppercut blow to Vegeta's chin, sending him flying behind the counter of the food court!
"Nice going, Blitzball Boobs!" Amy cried. "Now my next meal will taste like vegetables!" After this, everyone just fell into fits of laughter. Everyone, that is, except for Vegeta. The laughter ended when the crackling of the intercom could be heard.
"May I have your attention please?" Chichi's voice said. "The bout between Zori and Zeon will begin in five minutes. And will those of you killing each other in the food courts please stop it?!"
"Well, I guess we'd better get going…" Zori said, standing up.
"Hey, wait for me!" Zeon replied, getting up also. Lisa turned to face Zori.
"Be careful out there, Zori…" she sighed, kissing him.
"I'll be OK, Lisa-chan. Wait 'til you see how I use my attacks in this one!" Zori cheered.
"Is this fight gonna be delicious?" D-Chan asked. At this point, a familiar face who we haven't seen for a long time showed up, although the girls all wished he'd just stayed at home…
"All right! Lisa actually lost!" Yhamcha-Robii cheered. "Now I get to see her in that sexy skin-tight leotard! Oh, this is so great!"
"OH, BUGGER OFF!" Lisa cried, kicking Yhamcha-Robii over the counter and into Vegeta.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! (and Vegeta) The first match to determine who is entered into our Fatal Four-Way event is about to begin!" Chichi announced.
"Hee-eeeyy…" Bulma scowled. "What do you mean by that? Are you saying that my Vegeta isn't a gentleman?"
"Don't worry, Bulma, I'm sure Vegeta could be a perfect gentleman… when pigs fly outta my BUTT! Anyway, I know it wasn't announced earlier, but our previous three matches were to determine who will be entered for the Triple Threat event, where rather than the usual two competitors in the arena, there is a third fighter as well!"
"So in this Fatal Four-Way, there'll be four competitors?" Bulma asked.
"Exactly!" Chichi cheered in reply. "So let's get this under way! On the North side of the arena is Zori, the love interest of that violent wench who beat up my sweet little Goku and Gohan!"
"Hey, she hasn't exactly been soft on my poor little Veggie either!" Bulma protested. Suddenly, both girls could feel a dark Saiyan presence behind them.
"Woman…" they heard. "Did you just call me… what I think you called me?!" Bulma and Chichi didn't even need to turn around to realise that it was Vegeta, nor to realise that if they weren't careful, they would be completely and utterly screwed.
"Moving on…" Chichi sighed. "On the South end is Zeon, the love interest of little Yuko in the front row…"
"Awwwwwww…" the entire audience cooed.
"NOT FUNNY, ZORI!!" Zeon yelled, blushing so intensely that his face was practically luminous! As per usual, Miyamoto made his way to the centre of the arena.
"So, we have a hero here, eh?" He said, eyeing up Zori. "Well, this'll be one time Evil wins!"
"Hey! I'm not evil, you defective bag of bolts!" Zeon yelled. Miyamoto turned around to face Zeon.
"You know, I think I've heard of you from somewhere… not that it matters. You're just a stepping stone."
"Bad referee! Leave Zeon alone!" Zeon could barely hear little Yuko's voice crying out. Miyamoto just sighed and walked away.
"Whatever. Hajime…" he said. Everyone else just stared at him.
"DJ…" Lisa asked.
"It means Begin," DJ replied. "As in start the fighting!"
"All right, let's do this!" Zori called, flying toward Zeon. Zeon easily flipped over Zori and was preparing a counter-attack, but Zori had also anticipated this, and had immediately spun around and kicked Zeon in the back before he could land!
"Not bad…" Zeon commended, bounding off his left hand and landing back on his feet. "But try this on for size!" Zeon kicked Zori's gut, causing him to bend forward. Then Zeon leaned over Zori's back and grabbed him under his chest, eventually pulling him up. When Zeon was holding Zori up on his shoulders, Zeon jumped high into the air, and then threw Zori back-first into the marble floor!
"A Powerbomb?" Zori asked. "Zeon, have you been watching WWE again?"
"And why not? After all, you taped WrestleMania XX!" Zeon replied. "Now, let's get this show on the road!" But before Zeon could back up his words of eagerness, Zori had leapt forward and sent a flying kick to his head! Acting with split-second precision, Zeon grabbed Zori's foot and pushed it back, sending Zori rolling backward, but eventually landing back on his feet. After this, Zori and Zeon both launched at each other, exchanging punches and kicks at lightning speed! At times a punch was so fast, it looked like it passed right through its target!
"Wow, look at them go!" Angel called. "I can't even trace their movements!"
"It's too fast to be delicious!" D-Chan cried, becoming dizzy.
"Is food all you think about?" Angel's question was soon answered when a hotdog boy walked past the group and D-Chan bought all the hotdogs and burgers in stock. "D-Chan!"
"…what?" D-Chan asked innocently as she finished her fourth burger.
"D-Chan won't concentrate on the match since there's no food involved," DJ explained. "There's food, and there's fast food, but Zori and Zeon are too fast to be food!"
"So it's not delicious?" asked our favourite busty naïve food monger.
"Seems not…" Amy replied. "But even so, I hate to admit it, but this barbaric form of entertainment is… well… entertaining!"
"Kick butt, Zori!" DJ cheered. "You too, Zeon!" It seemed like D-Chan was getting the audience into some cheering as well…
"Gimme a BOO!" D-Chan chimed.
"BOO!" the audience mimicked.
"Gimme some BEES!"
"BEES!"
"And what do you have?"
"BOOBIES!!!"
"This is your fault, you know…" Angel groaned at DJ. DJ, not seeing any way out of this, just sighed.
Back at the fight, Zori and Zeon were showing no signs of weakness, yet each fighter was slowly but surely wearing one another down.
"This is gonna sound odd," Zeon admitted. "But did that audience just yell BOOBIES at us?"
"Oh, that'll be Jedite's girlfriend's fault!" Zori laughed. Secretly, Zori wished that Jedite could have actually heard that, just to see his reaction about his little crush on D-Chan. "Hey, at least your love interest isn't as embarrassing!"
"Dammit, Zori, Yuko isn't my love interest!" Zeon cried, punching Zori into the ground. "I admit she's cute, but she's just not THAT kind of cute! Besides, at least Yuko doesn't need to have a 40 inch chest to be cute!!" Zori blushed. He began to think that Zeon was insinuating that Lisa, the girl he loved, wouldn't be the girl he loved if she weren't so busty.
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!" Zori yelled, giving Zeon a massive punch where the sun don't shine! In fact, this punch was so hard, that Zeon was absolutely paralysed!
"Well…" Zeon squeaked. "…THAT was a bit below the belt…" Zeon finally collapsed in front of Zori, a few twitches being his only movements.
"Ooooh! That looked like it hurt!" Miyamoto taunted. "Apart from a few twitches, Zeon is unable to move! That means that Zori wins and goes through to the second heat of these matches!"
"Xell and Thomas are fighting next, folks!" Bulma announced. "And just so you know, each and every fight can be replayed on our Super Tournament DVD, which will be released about a week after this tournament!"
"Are you all right, Zeon?" Amy asked, leading Zeon back to the recovery room where everyone else was staying.
"I'd be lying if I said that was the best way for Zori to win that match…" Zeon squeaked. "But I guess I deserved it…"
"So, how do you think you'll do in your match, Xell?" D-Chan asked.
"Well, I'll give it my all," Xell explained. "And with Hitomi cheering, there's no way I can lose!"
"Aww…" Hitomi smiled, kissing her boyfriend.
"And what about you, Thomas?" D-Chan asked. "How are you feeling about the match?"
"…" was Thomas' effortless reply.
"Aww, come on! No opinion at all?"
"…"
"What's on your mind, Tommy?" Leanne asked.
"Just thinking about my next fight," Thomas finally replied. "Do you think I'll do OK?"
"I'm sure you'll be fine, honey. It'll still be a few minutes, so you have some time to prepare, if you feel you need it…"
"I'll be fine. Thanks, Leanne!"
"Hey, how come she got him to talk?" D-Chan whined.
"Well, as long as she's not hitting DJ over the head, it's OK…" Hitomi replied.
"Speaking of DJ… where is he?" Zeon asked. "I haven't seen him in a while…" Everyone was a little lost at this revelation, until Amy suddenly gasped and jumped to her feet.
"Oh, my!" she cried. "I nearly forgot that DJ wanted to meet me in the hot springs! And I only have three minutes to get there! Bye, everyone!" And with that, Amy hurried off to the hot springs room.
"What about the next match!?" Xell cried.
"There's a TV in the springs!" Amy called as she rushed off.
"You know, that girl never ceases to surprise me…" Angel sighed.
"Attention everyone, will Xell and Thomas please enter the ring for their match!" Bulma spoke through the intercom.
"Well, I guess this is it!" Xell cheered, rushing toward the arena. "Let's make this a match to remember!" Thomas, however, wasn't as enthusiastic as Xell…
"Will everything be all right?" He asked. "…even if I lose?"
"Hey, don't sweat it!" Leanne smiled. "You don't have to be all macho around me, I can't stand that kind of thing. Why do you think I dumped DJ?"
"But… he doesn't act that macho in my eyes…"
"OK, so he's not the most mucho macho guy out there, but he DID eat my pie! I mean, he said I could count on him not to eat the pie, and what does he do?"
"… maybe I could pretend I'm you and Xell's DJ, and use it as determination to win?"
"That's the spirit!" Leanne smiled. "Good luck, and give 'em Hell!"
"Wait a minute…" D-Chan interrupted. "The only time DJ ate your pie was when we all did, remember? In fact, you even cut him the biggest slice!"
"OK, so my memory didn't recall that event perfectly, leave me alone!"
Something about the next match was very weird, even before its beginning. There were quite a few shadows dotted around the arena which weren't there before…
"Xell…" Thomas started. "Does something seem… different to you?"
"Yeah, now that you mention it…" Xell could continue his sentence no further before a violent earthquake shook the entire stage! It was at this point that both Xell and Thomas noticed that the audience seats were actually much higher than usual! Then, without warning, the arena stage shot up out of the ground, hovering a good thirty feet up with what looked like the remaining arenas of the complex!
"What's going on!?" Thomas cried.
"Your guess is as good as mine…" replied Xell.
"Wait, here's Miyamoto," Thomas noticed the robotic referee approaching the commentator's booth where Bulma and Chichi were safely watching… but something seemed oddly different about even him…
"Does Miyamoto seem shorter to you?" Xell asked.
"Yeah, now that you mention it…" this time, it was Thomas' response that was cut short, as Miyamoto suddenly sneered and tore his own face off!
"WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?" Xell cried. As the face was released and fell to the floor, what looked like a much rougher form of DJ's face was in its place! From this moment on, all of the weirdness – the floating arenas, the heightened audience seats, and this erratic behaviour, could all be summed up and explained in one word…
"… Sephihimoto…"
"LISTEN UP!!!" Sephihimoto's voice boomed throughout the entire Tournament Complex. "It has come to my attention that I am not scheduled to fight again for a very long time…"
"Actually, there's only 6 more rounds…" Bulma spoke up.
"IT'S TOO LONG!!!!" Sephi yelled. "Anyway, I know you're all scared to death of me because I'm the evil counterpart of the main male character of this fan fiction… and, because I burn you and kill you… but I'm actually willing to do something beneficial to you all for a change… you all want excitement – that's why you're here! I want to find the strongest person here, and burn him and kill him… or her… that's why I'M here! Speaking of killing, I'm killing two birds with one stone!"
"I don't give a damn how powerful, merciless and evil you are!" Thomas yelled, knowing full well that he's broken through his shyness in the face of Sephihimoto before. "Just get to the point!!!"
"The point is I'm in control now," Sephihimoto smirked. "And I'm removing the Triple Threat and Fatal Four-way matches! In their place, I'm converting this match into a Gigantic All-or-Nothing Free-for-all!"
"You mean…" Chichi started.
"Yes! I want that woman with the enormous chest, Hawk, Gokan, Vegeta, Kage, Delon, Zori, and Zin to join these two AND the real Miyamoto in what will be the biggest fight in this whole tournament! Besides the one with me, of course…" Despite all previous fear, rage, upset, panic, and terror felt by everyone at the hands of Sephihimoto, the entire audience was now roaring with applause at his decision!!! And it wasn't too long before all of the fighters mentioned had assembled in the merged arenas! Of course, Miyamoto himself wasn't having the best time – he'd been thunder shocked by DJ as Hidoi, then Amy's water attack changed him back, and not long after that, he was blasted with more thunder by Sephihimoto to give him time to pull off this stunt!
"All right, Sephihimoto, we'll play along with your game…" Amy sighed.
"Good! And the last two fighters standing will battle it out for the Consolation Prize. Loser gets Consolation Runner-up prize, of course, but it won't last you long since I'll win and kill you all anyway…"
"There's just one more thing I'd like to add, if I may…"
"Oh? And what might that be?" Sephihimoto smirked. Amy simply closed her eyes, taking in the deepest breath she could handle…
"MY NAME IS AMY!!!!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, obviously not even letting a ruthless super villain get away with simply referring to her chest. But whether she liked it or not, the eleven-fighter battle royal was about to begin!
"Hey, I thought you were at the hot springs with DJ?" Zin asked.
"I was…" Amy replied. "And since I was interrupted, I'm madder than ever before!"
"Hah! The woman weighed down by a pair of zeppelins is mad. How frightening!" Vegeta scoffed.
"BEGIN THE BATTLE!!" Sephihimoto announced. Amy, not being one to let these insults slide, immediately made a rush for Vegeta. Unfortunately, his quick reflexes caused him to fall backward, slam his own back into the floor, and use the momentum to thrust his feet into Amy's stomach, sending her flying into the air!
"Not this time!" Vegeta called. "I will be on the receiving end of this stupid British slapstick comedy no longer! The Saiyans are a true warrior race! Do NOT underestimate us!" While it was indeed an awe-inspiring speech, it completely distracted Vegeta from the actions of Kage, who had decided to take the opportunity to rush toward Vegeta and shoulder-barge him over the edge of the arena, leaving him to fall thirty feet to the ground!
"Pathetic." Kage sighed. "I guess you have some excuse to go back home now. Right, that's one down…"
"One more to go!" Miyamoto called, pushing Kage over the edge with a fiery red ki wave that looked strikingly similar to Majin Buu's Flame Shower Breath.
"Can't you count, Miyamoto?" Hawk taunted. "There's still eight of us in this arena!" Amy, who had been knocked into the air, fell back down but quickly flipped to land on her feet. "Or, rather nine?" Amy wasted no time at all, punching Miyamoto back and throwing a Mizugeki shot into his face, sending him toppling down also.
"That was for calling my friend Silicone Girl!" Amy cheered.
"Do none of these people think to just fly back up before hitting the ground?" Gokan asked.
"I guess not, but…" Amy was at the edge of the arena, looking down. "Where's Miyamoto?" Amy made a good point – there was an android down on the floor with Vegeta and Kage, but it wasn't Miyamoto…
"What, like, happened?" asked the newly restored Hidoi. "Wow, I changed back again! Like, totally!" Unfortunately for Amy, leaning over so far with a chest like hers did no favours for her balance, and she actually toppled and fell over the edge!"Just seven now!" Hawk cheered. "This is easy!" Before he could do anything, however, Amy had smashed the floor from beneath him, sending him flying into a few other people but still remaining in the arena grounds.
"Not quite!" Amy giggled. "I always make it a point to practice what I preach!"
"Hey, Amy!" Zori called from the other end of the arena. "Miyamoto insulted Lisa-chan – I wanted to take him out!"
"Oh, my… this just isn't my day…" Amy could only prepare to block as Zori quickly flew toward her to deliver a swift hard punch! Due to Amy's developed defence, Zori just bounced backward!
"All right, let's see how you like this!" Zori jumped backward, creating a beach ball sized fireball in his hands. Allowing the fireball to float, he began to punch and kick it randomly, having the fireball gain size and girth with each attack!
"Hey…" Xell realised, having a melee battle with Thomas. "If I knock Thomas into that attack, it could work to my advantage!" Thomas quickly picked up on Xell's plan, however, and suddenly charged up a ki-based punch that sent him flying into Zori's attack instead!
"You should try thinking your plans instead of saying them out loud!" Thomas said. The resulting explosion sent Zori flying back, and it sent Xell falling through the hole in the arena that Amy made earlier!
"I never thought I'd condone the actions of that beast," Bulma announced. "But this is absolutely amazing! Not only are our competitors fighting valiantly for victory, they're also needing to think about absolutely everything that goes on around them!"
"I agree!" Chichi added. "If one person spends too much time on one opponent, they could be attack unexpectedly by another! And, as we've just seen, other people's attacks can clearly be used to the utmost advantage!"
"Even so, a lot of people are getting wiped out easily! This is what happens when everyone goes for the same opponent at the same time…"
"I think this is what Sephihimoto wanted!" Chichi cried as Zin tackled Delon, and the two of them toppled over the edge of the arena! "There are only five competitors left now, and this fight's getting more and more hectic!" This was true: only Amy, Zori, Thomas, Hawk, and Gokan remained now, and the arena had become considerably smaller from Amy flying up from below, and other people being smashed into it!
"It's just us five now…" Gokan said.
"Yes… more than half of us disappeared in a few minutes…" Thomas added.
"Let's just battle it out and see who's number one!" Hawk called, as enthusiastic as ever.
"Yeah, I wanna at least get the grand consolation prize!" Zori cheered. "Bring it on!"
"Umm…" Amy, as frightened and surprised as ever, had seemingly forgotten all of her previous rage as she somehow staggered into the centre of the arena, right in between Zori, Gokan, Hawk and Thomas! The only trouble was, everyone had launched toward each other to unleash their attacks! Amy clumsily tripped over her own feet, falling forward and leaving Hawk, Thomas, Zori, and Gokan in the paths of each other!
"This…" said Zori.
"… won't…" continued Gokan.
"… end…" added Hawk.
"… well." finished Thomas. The four combatants collided in their all-out attacks, sending each other flying to opposite ends of the arena, slipping over the edges themselves! Hearing the audience cheering, Amy slowly opened her eyes, standing up in the middle of the arena, which was now slowly floating back to the ground.
"WOW! Would you look at this, folks?" Bulma cheered. "In an amazing evasion technique, Amy has forced everyone else to attack each other, leaving herself unscathed!"
"… oh, my…" Amy sighed, rather surprised.
"And so, in sight of these events, the winner of the Consolation Event is…"
"WHOA! Wait a moment!!!" Chichi interrupted. "I can't see Zori anywhere!"
"Hey, you're right…" Even Amy couldn't help but look around now – everyone was sat on the ground, cursing their losses, except for Zori…
"Up here!" Zori called. Sure enough, Zori was hovering at least thirty feet above Amy!
"Zori hasn't touched the ground yet! This match is still under way!"
"What?!" Sephihimoto cried from wherever he actually was. "NO!!!! My match was so close!!!"
"OK…" Amy sighed. "Looks like I have to try for a little while longer…"
"Who'd have thought we'd be having a rematch. Eh, Amy?" Zori laughed.
It's been a long time, but Budokai Tenkaichi 2 kinda got me back into the swing of this! Amy and Zori have their rematch in the Consolation Event, and then the main final between DJ and Sephihimoto will finally begin! How will the fate of the universe be decided? Who gets to take home the ridiculously enormous amount of prize money? Find out, in the next exciting chapter of Dragonball Z!