Himeko: blessedarethecracked doesnt own any part of Kannazuki no Miko- Chikane: which SUCKS since if she did soma wouldn't exist and our voices wouldn't be so infuriating that you're about ready to put an axe through the screen by the end of it. Himeko: my voice isn't really that bad is it? Chikane: how do I put this nicely..um... HELL YEAH.

Many thanks for all ya reviews, I dont know how long I can keep the fluff coming, but i've come up with this so let me know what you think & i'll keep trying to think of more.. well.. fluff! enjoy!

The day wore on. Once I had gathered myself enough to continue, I spent most of the journey home dazed and unable to think, unwilling to think as whenever I did it was only of one thing ; so raw and painful that when I finally arrived back, I was asked more than once by the villagers if I was in pain. Assuring them that I wasn't as it was a pain that they could never understand, I managed to keep thoughts of Himeko from my mind until I was back in the large, cold house where I belonged. Brushing off the infernal staff of my house that consistently pestered me even when it was perfectly obvious that I really wasn't ready to eat, I found myself on the large landing outside the wall that separated our two rooms. Himeko's; pink and yellow, constantly throwing sunset colours on the wall even when we were in the middle of the monsoon season, and mine; deep reds and purples always reflecting how I felt whenever we were apart. The darkness in my room enveloped me, pulling me into it like it was drowning me and all hope of salvation was waiting above the darkness, in the daylight of her smile, that same smile that she gave readily, to me, to my maids, to everyone who never deserved it, but especially to that damned Soma. Finding that I'd entered her room and not my own, my fingers began brushing against her things, picking up the occasional photo she had framed of the two of us, touching the workbooks that had her untidy essays scrawled in, my nose welcoming the scent of her as I sat on her bed, and feeling my own heart beat faster as I recognised all the things about her that I loved, my mind expecting her to be there. The scent made me feel light headed as I always do when I'm with her, and I stretched my legs out and lay on her bed, my fingers finding her pillow and I buried my face in it. Soma couldn't feel the way I did about her. He couldn't know her instinctively by the way she breathed, by the way she walked, by the way she smelt. He couldn't feel the same pain that I did when I was apart from her. He just couldn't

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?

It was crazy. It was just completely insane. I had been brought up with such wealthy, such grandeur, I had understood everything I had touched, everything I had been expected to know how to do perfectly, I lived my life with such serene brilliance gracing everywhere with patience and respect.. and yet .. It was her. The world expected me only to be able to tolerate one with my same brilliance, I could only fall for someone as perfect as I was, but she was poor. She couldn't do sports, couldn't play music to the extent I could, didn't know what people were feeling, couldn't tell what they needed, compare to me, she was nothing. And I shouldn't need her, I should never have wanted someone so incomparable to myself.. But that's what she was. Incomparable. Because she was the brilliance of the sun, she was perfection, she was everything, and much as I shouldn't have wanted someone as low as her, she couldn't want someone as low as me. The moon can only shine because of the sun.. and I shouldn't have needed her. But I did. And she couldn't need me. And she was stronger than I was. So she didn't.

If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

I couldn't go on like this. Feeling so much love, feeling so much pain. I could barley breathe when we were apart, it was as if someone had ripped my heart away in a desperate bid to stop me from feeling, and the pain was killing me.. Only try as they had, they'd left part of it still in me, and as long as that part remained, no matter how bad the pain was it was still there, and no matter that the pain should be killing me, as long as that hope remained, I survived. In absolute hell. Waiting as my life depended upon her for a faint smattering, just a trace of affection, anything to make the pain worthwhile. And even if she loved him, even if she only had the smallest trace of fondness for me, It would be worth it all. I just had to bear it as long as I could .. If I could..

If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

My fingers clumsily searched through my hair as the hair slide she had given me began to strain painfully… and then I remembered Soma's. I never had given it back, had I? should I? I'd kept it for so long it seemed pointless really.. She'd chosen him over me hair slide or not.. Still… reaching for my pocket, I turned it over in my palm. It was just one way that he was better than I was. He didn't have to resort to low cheating to gain her affection.. Maybe this was the only reason we had ever meant to meet? So she would come to depend on me, then I would become jealous, reckless and force Soma and Himeko, MY Himeko together… my god, what if it was all me? What if her finding Soma was all my fault?? Had I really killed the best thing in my life with my haste and greed and jealousy?? And what if…. suddenly that all too familiar icy fear began to creep around my chest again as my harsh breathing turned to desolate sobs.. and what if he exchanged hair slides and flowers for jewellery? And if she accepted? She would disappear from me altogether and I would be utterly helpless except to watch as they built a life together.. Grew old together..

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

And then suddenly it hit me with such powerful comprehension my eyes snapped open and my gasp echoed around her room. I loved her. Not just the love that authors make millions over, or the songwriters drive you insane with, not the love that any two people can share, or the love that you see when two people decided to stay together, but I loved her as my soul mate, we had shared countless previous lives together and nothing and no-one had ever managed to rip us apart before. We were bound throughout time to be together even though fighting for it was difficult, the love I felt for her was all I ever existed for. So it was never going to be easy and in each lifetime it would nearly destroy us both, was I going to admit defeat just because it was difficult having her in my life? Had I really grown that weak? Leaping from her bed and snatching my jacket, I threw myself down the stairs and out of the house just as I had this morning. And I set off with a new found determination engraved in my heart. No enemy that we had defeated, no divine power that had ever tried and certainly no pathetic schoolboy who thought he was special because he got involved with what he shouldn't have was going to take Himeko away from me, and if they thought for one second that they could, then they'd meet the same end as all the others.

I'd fight for her.

I'd fight for her for me.