Don't Make Me Say 'I Love You'
The leave of absence was extended.
A desk gathered dust.
Sake bottles lined up like fat soldiers down the hallways.
Steps were taken to find candidates for a new Vice-Captain of the Eighth Division.
Rumors flew all over Soul Society.
Captain Shunsui had finally won over the stoic Ise Nanao, but destroyed the only working relationship he'd ever been known to have. Division Eight itself was under internal debate. Some lauded their Captain, others were covertly angry. Still another fraction only shook their heads and muttered that it had been only a matter of time.
The Vice-Captain herself vanished. Any attempts made to find her retreat were met with failure. There were no more spontaneous sake parties in the dining hall. The soldiers went about their duties, nodding quietly to one another as they passed the door to their Captain's rooms. Shunsui could be found sleeping under his favorite tree, or on the roof clutching a sake bottle in one hand. Not that those things were unusual, but they were now accompanied with slumped shoulders and dull eyes. Off duty, he trained alone in a clearing, wielding his swords with surprising grace. Rarely did he visit the past haunts of bars or pleasure quarters. In short, the notoriously lazy leader became one of the finest soldiers of the Soul Society.
He relapsed with alcohol every now and again. Old habits are hard to break.
His only regular casual company was that of his faithful friend and fellow captain, Ukitake Jyuushiro, and drinking partner, Rangiku Matsumoto. What was said between them never became public knowledge. The only whisper of gossip was that Matsumoto knew where the missing Vice-Captain was. Shunsui had thrown her out of a small bar one winter's night after hours of hard drinking. Witnesses declared he had been roaring at her to tell him where his 'Nanao-chan' was.
The woman had only laughed hysterically and wandered off. He hadn't followed.
Over time, the crisis passed.
A replacement was found for the Vice-Captaincy. A stoic young man filled the roll without fuss, organizing the entire office to even the load. He gave the Division a budget for their parties, posted on a large board in the main hall. He handled the forgotten formalities of the Captain with a calm face, but drew a sharp line in regards with deadlines. His method of persuasion was to dock the Division budget. With the favor of the entire company depending on him, Shunsui finally kept to his duties in a timely manner.
He rose in respectability. He made a name for himself. No one knew that behind the fame was a purpose.
A century later, he too vanished.
"Ise-san, Ise-san! My mother sends some veg-vegi-tables to you."
A six-year-old struggled with the bamboo basket on his back. "I tried to keep them clean."
The door to a tiny cottage slid open. A thin lady wearing a dark blue yukata dusted in wispy white blossoms paused to slide on a pair of geta. Her hair was neatly tied back with a kerchief. She smiled at the child.
"Thank you, Yoshi! You did such a good job, bringing them up the path by yourself."
Yoshi smiled shyly. "I'm getting stronger too! I only tripped once."
"You certainly are! It won't be too long before you're just as strong as your brother." She bent to help take the basket from its precarious perch across the boy's shoulders. "How is he?"
Plopping down in the grass along the pathway, Yoshi gave her a grin that showed a missing tooth. "He's still mad that he couldn't handle that Hollow by himself."
The lady laughed. "Tell him to keep coming to my house when he can. I'll help him with his kudo spells."
"Thank you, Ise-san! He really likes coming. He says you know more than the village master! Is that true?"
Nanao's smile took on a sad tone. She knew that Hollows had beset the village hidden in the valley below for the last few years before she arrived. The kudo master there was an old man. It wasn't that his knowledge was limited, but his spirit was simply not strong enough. She took up residence in the small cottage a short distance from the small settlement and earned her respect and food after one rather harsh incident involving three Hollows trampling through the rice fields. That had been over fifty years ago.
"I wouldn't say that I know more than he does. My power levels are simply greater."
The boy shrugged. "Well, I want you to teach me when I get bigger."
Nanao ruffled his hair. "Certainly, just stay out of trouble and out of the way of Hollows before then."
Yoshi popped to his feet and started back down the trail, calling over his shoulder, "Yes ma'am! Bye Ise-san!"
Nanao shifted the basket on her hip. "Thank your mother for me!"
She ducked back through the door to her home and set the vegetables on the counter. An open book on the low table in her living room ruffled its pages in a cross wind. The pair of glasses resting next to the pages twinkled in the sunlight that fell in from the open back door. Frowning, she moved to close it.
"I thought I had shut that."
Reaching the doorway, she caught sight of her well. The wooden cover had slipped sideways, leaving her drinking water exposed. Huffing, she slid her shoes back on and made her way outside muttering, "I must be getting old - forgetting things."
She replaced the well cover and turned.
A large figure was leaning against the back wall of her house in a dusty farmer's garb and a dark straw hat drawn down over the face. For a split second, her breath caught strangely. Then Nanao sighed, and marched down towards the stranger. Reaching out to pull the hat off, she smiled,
"Tatsuke, your brother was just here."
She froze.
"Nanao." A voice she had longed to hear trembled in the air. She stared disbelieving.
Shunsui's dark hair was shot through with silver and clipped neatly. Gone was the ponytail and five-o'clock shadow. Instead, a narrow, well-groomed beard graced his strong jaw. The hair at his temples was almost white. His eyes were the oldest, searching her face with an almost primal hunger.
She tried to say his name but nothing emerged. Her heart was beating so hard that it hurt. Clutching at the collar of her yukata, she felt the ground start to tilt. Then he was there – hands carefully holding her upright. The shock of touch brought her back to her senses.
"Kyouraku-san."
There was a trace of reassurance in feeling his hands shaking at her elbows. She watched his tanned throat work against the coarse white of cotton work cloths, unable to look him in the face.
"Nanao, please forgive me." His fingers tightened. "Please… I don't deserve it, I know. Ever since you left I've been lost."
Nanao struggled to somehow pull her scattered wits back together. He was leading her slowly into the house, but she resisted. Sitting down on the small bench next to the door, she held up a hand to cut him off.
"How did you find me? It's been two centuries since I resigned. Rangiku was sworn to secrecy."
He sighed, "It wasn't easy. I used every contact I had, and some I made specifically to help track you down."
"Why?" Her fingers clutched the edge of the wooden seat.
"Because I needed to find you."
The thickness in his voice drew her eyes up. They stared at one another in heavy silence. When he moved to kneel in front of her, she didn't flinch, even as he pressed a hand to the bench on either side of her.
"Why?" She challenged.
The dark brown eyes she knew better than her own were outlining every angle of her face.
"You aren't wearing your glasses anymore."
She flicked him hard on the bridge of his nose. He yelped, then smiled shamefacedly, "You want me to say it, don't you."
Nanao gave him one of her old glares. "Sir, I will disappear again."
He answered with one of his old smirks and leaned in. "You can't, Nanao-chan. There is no rank between us now. There is no experience between us. Ever since you left, I've devoted every waking moment to finding you again. I've wanted to hear your voice, to see your irritation at disorder, to see those eyes, and to have the chance I don't deserve."
His face was centimeters away. Her hands were knotted in some material not her own and she vaguely realized that she was holding on to his shirt for dear life.
"Dear Nanao, will you forgive a fool who was too afraid to let anyone love him? Will you give me a chance to prove myself to you?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "Will you let me say, I love you?"
Her only response was to close those the last breath of space between them. She kissed him with all the pent up frustration and hunger left behind in another lifetime. He hesitated for only a moment before returning her turmoil with his own.
Pure joy rushed through her, cleaning away two hundred years of doubt and anger. She remembered that one night in every detail. She remembered, and wanted to relive. Time no longer mattered.
When they finally drew apart, Nanao looked at her heart's desire and smiled.
"You came – That said enough."
The End
Author's note: I wanted to laugh and cry at this ending. I don't really know why – it was the plan all along. Would I do the same? I don't know.
Thank you, dear reviewers!