-1 Lucas stared at his mother as she sat by his side, he was wondering why she was looking at him as if she was searching for something, some type of feeling or emotion that, considering the current circumstances would usually be etched across a persons face. Lucas knew that she wanted him to open up, to look at his mother and feel that he could release his emotions and allow himself to crumble and for her to rebuild him, but as Karen desperately and intently stared into Lucas' eyes she was met with the all to familiar gaze of stone and ice. In an last effort to try and comfort her son Karen reached out her hand, as if Lucas was falling, falling into fear or darkness and her hand was his salvation. As Lucas became aware of the interaction that his mother was about to attempt to make, Lucas' eyes widened in fear and panic, his fragile body was thrown back off the bed, almost knocking him off his feet, simply to stray away from such a connection, which in his mind was to protect him from weakening, from becoming the useless, fragile, fool that he had for so long thought he was.

"For Gods sake Luke, I am your mother, why won't you let me help you, you wont even let me touch you." Karen's outburst took Lucas by surprise, his eyes remained fixated on the floor, he did not know how to react, what to say, this time he did not know how to help.

"The least you can do is answer me," her voice began to rise, and rise like the rolling of a and drum, and it did not take long for it to inform the guests that had previously been so blissfully unaware, of the troubles that lay within the walls of the house.

"Its ok to be upset Lucas, I mean, do you have no emotions? Do you not care at all? Your uncle is dead, cant you even shed one fucking tear for a man who sacrificed his whole life to raise you?" Lucas looked up, horrified at the words his mother had just said, the mother he had protected when no one else had, a pain that Lucas had never felt before began to rise in side of his chest, the pain took his breath away, but he remained calm. He opened his mouth to respond but his eyes caught sight of the audience that had formed around his room. He could see people like Nathan, the brother he never knew, Dan the father he never had, and soon the pain he felt was replaced with hate. It rose in him like fire.

"I would cry for him, and I will, but you don't deserve to see it, you don't deserve to think that you have any hold over me. That died with Keith." Lucas said as tears began to well in his eyes, he tried to fight them, to kill the demons that were haunting his fragile mind, but the darkness he spent years fighting was closing in around him, he was loosing sight of all the things that once gave him strength and any second he would be swallowed by the great wave of darkness that threatened collapse on him. The room was silent, some waiting hopefully to see the next reaction as if it was a movie, others too horrified to speak, but most were fighting back the tears, but this was simply the silence before the storm.

"Why won't you let me love you Lucas!? Why won't you let me all the way in, or even just a bit,? You're so cold to me, and I don't know what I can do!" As Karen finished her sentence she collapsed in tears, but soon looked up to see tears running down her dear sons face, and for a second, just a second she saw her little boy, scared and vulnerable. She sat up and tried to approach him, but Lucas grabbed her gentle arms and with his deep blue eyes that resounded an ageless sorrow he spoke.

"Because whether or not you want to hear this, it will kill me, you have no idea what I am keeping locked up, if I was to let it take me, I would never come back." as the last word rolled off his lips Lucas turned and ran out the door. Leaving Karen crying on the floor holding her arms, as if trying to hold onto her son, that if she held him tight enough she could save him, save him from the darkness, save him from himself.

flashback…

Fear. Fear is like a slow moving poison, every inch of it that courses through you leaves a mark, a mark that lives in your memory. To be afraid is to be alone, but being alone is where fear truly lies. It lies in the tricks that your mind plays on you, when your sitting scared and alone in the dark, it lies in the veiling of your future path, it lies within us all. To achieve freedom of your fear, does that mean you must first find freedom from yourself?

Lucas lay content on his bed for the first time in three years. He lay on his stomach with his feet in the air, staring with such a devoted enthusiasm towards Keith. Keith in Lucas' eyes was strength, he was why every time he laughed and a sharp pain shot through his ribs, he didn't care. Rick and Karen had decided to go away for the weekend, leaving Lucas in Keith's care. When Lucas was around Keith he felt like a normal child, a child who did not have to conceal their bruised covered body, or endure the traumatising, yet devastatingly addictive drugs, he was just a carefree child.

"So." Keith said trying to not sound as intrigued and as jealous as Lucas knew he was. "how long has your mum been with Rick, I mean they can't be that serious?" he spoke wishfully, "can they?"

The sound of Ricks name sent chills down Lucas' spine, but he could not suppress a laugh at the way Keith was acting. "About three years now, wait they met when I was eight, and I am eleven now, yeh three years," as he thought about how long he had been being tormented by Rick his smile soon faded.

"So they are pretty close then?" Keith said disappointedly " not that I am trying to turn you against him or anything," he began trying to plaster on the most genuine face he could, " but I never really liked him." Lucas was beyond ecstatic, for so long he had waited and hoped that someone would share his distrust and disgust towards him, and he could only have dreamed it would have been Keith. In an attempt to conceal his enjoyment Lucas just nodded to show his sign of agreement towards his feelings. As the conversation between him and Keith continued , the growing pains in Lucas' stomach were becoming unbearable, it felt like his stomach had been cut with a razor until it was raw. He looked down to see his now pale hand shaking, it was shaking like a thin, weak branch in a strong winters wind. He sat down on his hand in an attempt to conceal it from Keith, but the pain and fear was becoming evident on Lucas' face.

"Hey Luke, Luke." Keith's face was covered in fear, he could see something was wrong with Lucas so he repeated himself in an effort to get Lucas' attention. "Are you ok kid? You're shaking and you look really pale." He slowly began to approach Lucas.

"I um, I am ah, I'm fine." Lucas sat up and placed him self firmly against the wall in an effort to relive the pain but as he lay there his body began to uncontrollably convulse, causing his fragile body to violently connect with the wall. His skin began to break as it continued to interact with the wall. Keith soon realised that Lucas had tears running down his face. He ran towards him and with a strong, but univalent, gentle manner, he held him in his arms. He could feel Lucas' small body smack repetitively against his arms and legs. Keith cried into Lucas' shaking arm, he was so scared, he loved this boy like his son, what was he meant to do?

"I am scared Keith." Lucas said desperately . As Keith looked down into his eyes he saw such sorrow, and he knew it was not a recent, temporary sorrow, it was the type that never leaves you.

"Lucas look at me, look at me I am going to take you the doctors, I am going to help you." Lucas' eyes filled with terror, and with complete desperation he clung to Keith's shirt.

"Please Keith. No you can't take me, you just can't do it."

"Okay, okay, I am going to carry you to the Kitchen , see if I can give you something. Okay?" Lucas nodded weakly. As Keith lifted Lucas' almost non existent body he heard him scream out , a scream that was so deafening, so heart breaking, and so full of pain it killed Keith to hear it.

After a couple of hours Lucas fell asleep in Keith's arms, his cheeks still wet, as a road is just after a rainstorm. Keith held onto him so tight, just so scared to let go, to loose him, but Keith knew that what happened tonight he would never let happen again,.

End of flashback…