A/N: I know, this chapter is incredibly short. And I have really no excuse for that.

Disclaimer: I guess it's a good thing I DON'T own House. Imagine how short the episodes would be.

Chapter 7

Thirty Four

"Sleep apnea?" House repeated incredulously. He turned from the whiteboard slowly to face the ever dwindling crowd.

"Explains the fatigue, depression, headaches and dizziness," 33 said.

"Doesn't explain the fever," House stated, pointing to the word on the whiteboard for emphasis.

"FUO's are common, especially in school-aged children," 33 replied.

"There are no such things as FUO's," House retorted.

"I think you mean UFO's," Wilson interjected from his spot leaning against the door frame at the far end of the conference room.

"Those too," House agreed. "Fever of Unknown Origin…" House paused to look disgustedly at 33, "is just a shorter way of saying 'fever whose origin I'm to stupid to figure out'. The acronym just wasn't as catchy."

"What I meant was…" 33 began.

"What you meant was I'm either too lazy or too big an idiot to connect fever and these other symptoms." House sneered at her until she looked away. "The fever is like the flag arm on a mailbox."

There was a brief silence.

"I'll take medical metaphors for two hundred, Alex," Wilson said.

"Why must I always explain the metaphor?" House wondered to the ceiling.

34 turned and frowned at Wilson. "The fever is a signal that an infection is present." House raised his eyebrows at Wilson, mildly impressed.

Emery, Duncan and Mitchell walked into the conference room, took seats and spread out their notes in front of them.

"Dr. House, why aren't we allowed to see the patient?" 31 asked.

"Because you have yet to prove to me that you're competent. I get sued enough on my own, I have no intention of being sued on your behalf," House answered him. He turned to the three at the table. "What have you got for me?"

"Sore throat and muscle aches," Emery replied. "Other than that, not much. She's only twelve and they don't speak much English."

"She's twelve?" 34 asked pensively. House watched him thinking. "You said they don't speak much English?"

"Dad brought her in. Single father, mom died when she was a baby," Emery confirmed.

"What are you thinking?" House asked 34.

"Toxic Shock Syndrome," 34 replied. "Single dad, twelve year old girl..."

"Got it," House said. "You three check her out. The rest of you go observe."

Emery, Duncan and Mitchell left the room first, followed by the rest of the potentials, except 34.

"Dr. House? The fever thing … it was a simile," he said, a little timidly.

"Excuse me?"

"The fever is like the flag arm on a mailbox? You said 'like'. That makes it a simile, not a metaphor," 34 explained. House looked at him expressionlessly. "My father's an English teacher; grammar is to be taken very seriously."

Wilson covered a smirk. House loved his 'metaphors'; at least 34'd had the sense to correct him privately.

"Name?" House asked.

"Watson."

"Seriously?"

Watson nodded. House couldn't contain his smirk.

"Okay Dr. Watson, go check out your TSS theory," House said. "Leave your number."

Okay, so even though it was terribly short, it was okay, right? And does it bother anyone else that they sometimes use a simile instead of a metaphor, or is that just me?