Until hundreds of years later, when they were dead anyway…
And Tom Riddle walked the corridors of Hog's Warts! SHOCK! HORROR! DOOM- quite literally!
So Tommy old boy was shaped there by prejudice, hatred and the Dark Arts, and soon after changed his name from Tommy to The Dark Lord MouldyShorts. Shortly after, he changed it to Lord Voldemort, but the first name had stuck, so he was now Lord MouldyShorts. He made it a point to never wear shorts and reveal his flabby calves, but his lower robes were mouldy instead.
Everybody was terrified of saying his name, of course, because they might accidentally burst out laughing at the thought of him wearing mouldy shorts and displaying his flabby calves. And if they did that, Lord MouldyShorts (being the poor little dumpling who was sensitive about his calves) overcompensated by blowing them to bits. Oh yes, and he poked their dead bodies and insulted their families for laughing about his flabby calves, too.
But anyway, after a while, the funniness wore off, but the Mouldy Lord Shorts still preferred to not be referred to by name, preferring He-who-prefers-not-to-be-referred-to-by-name-and-instead-as-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-as-he-is-rather-sensitive,-especially-about-his-flabby-calves-and-weak-bladder-and-the-fact-that-he-is-a-half-blood-on-his-father's-side-who-was-a-muggle-named-Tom-Riddle-but-is-quite-proud-and-arrogant-about-the-fact-that-on-his-Squib-mother's-side-he-was-a-descendant-of-Salazar-Slytherin-the-Slosh-head-which-is-quite-a-noteworthy-thing-as-Slytherin-could-hold-his-liquor-and-as-one-of-his-lesser-accomplishments-was-one-of-the-four-greatest-wizards-in-Britain-which-he-who-must-not-be-named-felt-he-was-equal-to-which-wasn't-hard-as-they-were-all-pregnant-drunks-even-the-men. After ages of people fainting (especially the old ladies) after saying it without breathing in the middle, his preferred name was just shortened to include all the important points; Sensitive-about-calves-and-bladder-and-squib-mother-and-muggle-father-and-pregnant-men.
So, his Mould Eaters, quite blind to the fact that their beloved leader (sometimes just called Lord Shorts) was a half-blood, with a squib mother to boot, despite the rather obvious fact that it was in his name, continued on their rampages, happy with torturing people nicer than themselves and hating themselves subconsciously for it, some of them strangling themselves in their sleep as they couldn't live with themselves before Lord Shorts put a stop to it. Their rather affectionate nickname of "Old Mouldy" became a term used to identify Mould Eaters after the Ministry discovered the tattoos on their bums (a pair of mouldy green shorts wearing a crown with a pink banner saying "Old Mouldy").
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This continues in part three: the Middle. Please feel free to LEAVE A REVIEW OR DIE, as the 8 hits on my chapter one did nothing for my confidence.
If it helps, read it out loud, but unless you have joke-telling skill, it doesn't sound funny anyway…
The next bit is about Lily and James, and at the moment I really need to break it up, because it's about eight pages long with margins as big as possible and I haven't gotten to the main story yet… I think I'll make subsections…
Adieu, all those who read and do not review, and may your veins burn with the flames of a thousand Furies.
Auf Wiedersen to those who do review, and please make a note to review this chapter.