Yay, another chapter finished. I'm on such a roll this week. I love this chapter, because, if you look back in the first story, you'll find a subtle hint of something Orochimaru gave Kaede as a child. Don't skip to the end of the chapter, now, because that would just give it all away. Enjoy!
Nicola
Chapter Fifteen: Moving Along
By the time Kaede reached the entrance of the underground hideout and sealed it shut behind her, she had managed to stop crying, but her eyes were red and puffy, and she felt utterly dejected. Never in her life had it hurt so much. She had never experienced a break up before, and she'd hardly imagined it to be this hard.
It was around the time of day when the sun began to rise when she went into the kitchen to wash her face with cold water, hopefully bringing some natural color back to her oddly pale but red and blotchy in a few places, especially around her eyes. But as she walked to the sink, she realized that she wasn't alone.
Miki and Sakura sat at the table, warm cups of tea in their hands, just looking down at the wood. Kaede watched them out of the corner of her eyes as she splashed the cool water on her face and dapped it dry with a towel. She slowly made her way to the table, too, and sat down in between her friends. Sakura was the first one to look up, and her green eyes were filled with sadness. Miki followed, but she looked strong, as if she were trying to be firm and comforting for her obviously upset friend.
Kaede knew she didn't need to tell them what had happened. They were both aware of her nighttime wanderings, and where she most likely went on them. They could tell by the look on her face, the glistening wetness in her eyes, that she and Sasuke had finally ended. Both knew it had been coming, and were prepared for it.
Swallowing another hard lump trying to creep up in her throat, Kaede rested her head on Miki's shoulder and closed her eyes, willing all the pain away. Miki placed a comforting arm around her, cooing soothing words. "It's okay, it'll all be alright. Don't worry, it'll be okay."
She felt Sakura also embrace her, rubbing her back and gently lulling her to sleep with a medical jutsu. Grateful for the slumber that was coming, Kaede groggily reached out a hand and touched Sakura's shoulder. And then, she relaxed, finally drifting off into a deep, well-needed sleep.
With one last glance at the sleeping Kaede, Miki quietly left the room she and her friends all shared and walked down the hall to the only room she figured she could get some privacy—the kitchen. Halfway there, though, she heard Naruto's voice coming from the room and turned on her heel, deciding to skip that idea and head for the meeting "cupboard" as they called it. It was so tiny, that hardly five people could fit in it. But for one, it was perfect.
She went inside, closing the door behind her and sinking to the ground, leaning back against the wall. She rubbed her face with her palms and dashed her fingers through her hair. This was all beginning to get so confusing anymore. These long years trapped in this terrible place with the same people, the people she loved, but still infuriated her at least twice a day. She had no idea how much longer she would last if Rock Lee kept coming to her and vowing to protect her, serve her, yada yada yada…
She smiled, though, at the thought of the last time Lee had said that to her. Neji had appeared out of nowhere and bonked him on the head, succeeding in knocking the exuberant Taijutsu ninja out cold. Neji always seemed to be there whenever she needed him, ready to help, ready to hold her hand and comfort her. Right now, she wished that he were there, holding her and telling her that it was all going to be just fine when she knew that it wasn't.
A sigh escaped her lips and she shook her head. No, Neji wouldn't have time at the moment to sooth her rapidly rushing mind. Over the course of the past few years trapped in the same place together, their relationship had gradually progressed to where they were very close to each other. Close enough to hold hands and speak quietly to one another, to move their little sleeping pads inch by inch gradually until they were sleeping next to each other. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of his warm arm draped over her waist as she slept.
This was probably what Kaede had felt, she mused, when she and Sasuke had been together. Which was why their separation was hurting so bad. Now she understood how Kaede had felt with Sasuke holding her, chin on resting on the top of her hair, arms wrapped around her, trailing kisses lightly down her face until he reached her lips for a truly passionate kiss. This was what it was like to have someone you loved so much, but was so far away.
Even thinking of the hell Kaede must be going through sent a pang through Miki's chest and she tried to push those thoughts out of her mind. But she couldn't. All she could see was Kaede and Sasuke together, suddenly being replaced by herself and Neji. Yet something was different about this picture.
Kaede and Sasuke seemed to move as one, walk as one, speak the other's mind, while she and Neji had a sort of solid, but invisible barrier between them. She recognized this as the barrier Sasuke put up when around anyone other than Naruto, Sakura, or Kaede. Did this mean Neji didn't trust her, didn't want to open up to her?
Slowly the door opened and a stoic-faced Neji walked in, quietly closing it behind him. Miki looked up into those milky white eyes that matched her own and felt her heart beating rapidly. In her chest she felt an odd tightening, swelling sensation that made her squirm in discomfort. This happened every time Neji was in the room, every time his name was mentioned.
As the Hyuga man sat next to her, she vaguely recalled Kaede telling her what it was like to know Sasuke before she had realized her love for him. She had felt as if her chest was knotting like a rope, but swelling like a balloon being filled with water. Was this that feeling? Was this "falling in love"?
They sat there, neither speaking. Miki was unsure why Neji was staying silent, but she knew why she didn't say a word—she was petrified of her voice coming out in a jumble of words, blurting out her true feelings, or sounding like a choked frog. But she didn't have to worry about it, because as soon as these worries were passing through her mind, Neji pulled her into a warm hug.
As if a huge weight had been taken off of her shoulders, she sagged into the embrace and relaxed while he pulled her closer, pressing her against his chest. She brought her knees closer to her body and leaned against him for support. Neji planted a kiss on the top of her head and stroked her black hair with one hand, holding her securely with the other.
She just about melted into the warmth of his arms encircling her, the feeling of being where she was supposed to be as she leaned against his chest. Her heart beat furiously behind her rib cage, and the tightening, swelling sensation wonderfully grew ten times what it had been before.
Finally working up the courage to say something, Miki opened her mouth, but Neji beat her to it.
"Miki," he said in that sadistically beautiful voice of his, "we have been putting this off for too long." Miki felt tears spring to her eyes, and forced them down. "I'm…I mean…will you…erm…"
"Yes, Neji," she said softly, knowing that he was asking her to make their relationship official, even if he was unable to voice the actual words. "I agree, it has been way too long."
Sighing with relief, Neji let go of her only to pull her face to his with his calloused, but somehow gentle hands. His lips pressed against hers in a kiss she knew she would never forget. She kissed him back, relishing the feel of falling in love in her chest, the sensation of his lips on hers.
As they parted, she knew for real how much Kaede loved Sasuke, and how much it was killing her to let him go.
Aw, hell, she thought while she and Neji stood, holding hands, and headed out into the hallway, they'll get back together eventually, even if it takes years of me and Naruto literally shoving them at each other. She grinned mischievously. Besides, I got my own guy now!
Kaede woke up a day and a half later, refreshed and resolved to make whatever was heading her way work. She slowly stood from her sleeping pad, grimacing at her stiff and sore muscles. She hadn't moved in almost two days; how was she supposed to get around?
But she didn't really care. All she needed was to force thoughts of Sasuke out of her mind and get on with her life. She was completely in debt to Sakura for the peaceful slumber she had installed upon her, and wanted to know exactly what had happened during her sleep.
As she made her way down the hallway towards the kitchen—they unofficial meeting room, considering the actual meeting room was entirely too tiny—she tried to work some of the stiffness out of her limbs by rolling her shoulders and bending her knees every few steps. Her joints cracked and groaned in protest, but she reached the kitchen without incident.
What she found there sent a jolt through her.
Neji was leaning against the counter, his arms wrapped around a happy Miki. One hand was around her waist, the other was draped over her shoulder. His chin was resting lightly on the top of her head as he breathed in the scent of her hair. Kaede fought back the shudder of memories threatening to make her collapse and walked inside without batting an eye. Miki greeted her with a jubilant smile and immediately peeled away from Neji to give her a hug.
"You're awake!" she cried happily. "Sakura said you'd be getting up soon!"
Smiling, Kaede hugged her friend back. "Next time I see Sakura, I've got to give her the worlds biggest hug, because that sleep did wonders for me." With an understanding nod, Miki grabbed the hand that Neji was reaching out to her. Kaede wiggled her eyebrows up and down suggestively and the couple blushed.
"Well, I'm going to grab a bit of ramen to eat and head out to talk to Kakashi-sensei for a bit," she said, vaguely wondering why she'd referred to Kakashi in such formal terms again. Nowadays, she and the Jounin were friends, but she guessed that somewhere inside of her, she still saw him as a mentor, maybe even a father figure.
Once a bowl of ramen was safely warming her growling stomach, she looked around for her old sensei. For some reason she felt the urge to speak to him. About what, she had no idea, but it apparently had some importance or she would've have felt the need to. She found him in the medical wing, getting one of his last wounds healed by Tsunade, who smiled and moved away when she came in.
Pulling up a chair and sitting down, Kaede offered a small smile to her sensei. "Hey there."
"Hi," Kakashi said pleasantly, appearing none the worse for wear. Kaede knew, though, how much pain he must have been going through these past weeks, and she felt horribly guilty for not visiting him more often.
"How are you doing?" She merely asked that as a formality, and Kakashi studied her with an experience eye. She wanted to squirm under his gaze but sat still.
As always, Kakashi seemed to see right through her forced cheerfulness and sat up in bed, not wincing but clearly wanting to. Tsunade looked disapprovingly over her shoulder, but did not say a word. Kaede watched Kakashi, knowing that he was thinking up a good comment to bring up the subject. Honestly, she was a little disappointed with his straightforward-ness.
"When did you two break it off?"
Of course. She had always been an open book to those who knew her; she hated that her eyes betrayed her every single time. Sheepishly, she looked down, but Kakashi's hand tilted her chin back up, forcing her to look at him.
Sighing, she grudgingly answered. "It was getting too difficult. If anyone saw us together, we would both be dead. His loyalties lie with Orochimaru, and mine with Konoha. It would never have worked, Kakashi-sensei. You know that."
Kakashi was silent for a long time, and Kaede had to fight back the urge to get up and leave. She had a feeling that this conversation was heading down a road she did not want to travel on again, and it would end in another crash and burn episode.
"When Sasuke was here to speak about his plan," Kakashi began, and Kaede started to get up. Unconsciously, without even realizing she had, she'd picked up another one of Sasuke's bad habits: never sitting down long enough to listen to a lecture.
But she didn't get to go very far. Thin, glinting strings pulled her back down into her chair, and she glared at Kakashi, who was holding the ends in between his fingers.
"You will listen," he said in a voice she'd never heard him use, "and you will think about what I'm going to say." He waited for her nod before going on. "As I was saying, when Sasuke was here telling you all about the plan, he came to visit me before he left. I was honestly shocked to see that he still held some compassion for his old teacher, but I patiently heard him out.
"We talked for a long time. He told me that he regretted ever leaving the village, ever seeking power and hurting all the ones he cared about. He said how much he hurt knowing that he had hurt Naruto, Sakura, and especially you. I could do nothing but listen as he poured his heart out. He talked about how much he loved you, how much he was going to mourn when your relationship was over. He told me that he was not going to stop you when you decided to end it all. He knew this was coming, Kaede."
Unable to speak, Kaede just looked down at her hands in her lap. Kakashi released the string and her binds released her. But she still didn't move.
"What am I going to do?" she whispered.
As Kakashi spoke, he never looked, or sounded, more sure of anything. "Your official relationship may have been broken, but the attachment you two have will never be severed. When the time is right, go back to him."
When Kaede left the medical room a few minutes later, headed for the kitchen again in hopes of finding solitude and maybe some chocolate or cookie dough ice cream, she felt more torn than she ever had in her life. In most ways, not being with Sasuke was a wonderful thing, especially for the fate of her village. Without her and his relationship in the way, both would be able to concentrate solely on the mission and the plans to get back the village. But in others, not being with Sasuke was killing her. Kakashi had just told her what might be the most important thing in her life—Sasuke loved her. She had known it all along, but to hear it from one of the people who knew her and Sasuke best was just…
Maybe she needed to find someone else, to get over him. But she knew that was impossible, and her efforts would be futile. No matter how long she lived, she would never love anyone else in the way she loved Sasuke. If she wasn't meant to be with Sasuke, then she would follow everything the greater being, destiny, whatever, had in store for her.
She could still hear his voice, telling her that he wanted her to stay, but knowing that there was no way he could make her. She heard him saying how much he wished her to have the best, whatever she was looking for in life. Only…he truly did want that to be him.
Finally in the kitchen, Kaede sat down at the table and ran a hand through her messy brown hair. She really wanted a brush and a hair tie, but she didn't have one, so her fingers would have to do. As she combed her hair as best she could, she remembered the day Sasuke finally braved up enough to admit how he felt, and that he wanted their relationship to be official. He had been unable to voice the actual words, like most guys, and she had answered with a simple "yes" and a kiss.
She'd remembered it as a kiss that had "sealed their relationship." How ironic, she thought, that at the beginning of their closeness, they had kissed, and at the end, they had also kissed. Except…the first time had been a lot happier and satisfying one, while now, she only wanted to take their last kiss back.
Someone knocked lightly on the doorframe and Kaede turned her head to see who it was. With a smile, Sakura came in, a hairbrush and a strip of brown leather in her hand. Kaede couldn't help but chuckle weakly; the kunoichi had a way of knowing exactly what her friends needed.
Sakura moved behind Kaede and lifted her hair over the back of the chair, allowing easier access to all the knots and such. As she gently and carefully brushed out the messy brown mass of hair, Kaede thought how wonderful her pink haired friend was. Sakura had really been her first companion after returning to Konoha without memory, waking up in a hospital room, and being taken off my some strange man with gray hair and a little orange book he seemed obsessed about.
A smile wavered across her face as Sakura skillfully worked her hair into a French braid. Kaede was relieved to have her hair out of her eyes; in a neat little do that looked casual and somehow sophisticated. Tying off the end of the braid with the little leather strip, Sakura patted Kaede's shoulder and sat down next to her.
"Thanks, Sakura," Kaede said, reached over and hugging the other woman. Sakura gladly hugged her back.
"No problem, glad to. Besides, Naruto was beginning to compare you to a hedgehog that had been in bed for two days." Both laughed, and it felt wonderful. It was almost like for that one moment of giggles Kaede could forget about her break up with Sasuke. She smiled and took Sakura's hands in hers.
"Hey, do you want to do something today?" she asked, shrugging one shoulder. "I mean, there isn't much we can do, but we can rustle up some of the kids and organize a few games for them to play."
"That's a great idea, Kaede!" Sakura said excitedly, standing up and towing Kaede with her. "We could have a game of 'Hokage Says'…."
"With Naruto leading it!"
"Yeah!" They giggled again. "And a few of those fun little trust games, like the Human Table, and the one where you have to balance the needles on top of each other!"
"And we could have something, like, charades, or those fun icebreakers and stuff," Kaede added, getting more and more excited at the prospect of such a great project. It would be great for the kids, and help take her mind and theirs off all the stuff going on. "Let's go round up everyone else!"
"Alright, everyone!" Naruto announced jubilantly to the crowd of giggling and squirming kids. "We're going to have stations, and break you all up into groups of six. At each station, there will be a different game for you to play. There are nine stations. Afterwards, when everyone has had a turn at every station, we'll be handing out a wonderful lunch and awards!"
Cheers erupted from all the children, and Kaede and Sakura couldn't help but smile at each other. Looking at all the little happy, glowing faces of the kids and the sad but glad expressions on the parents, it was hard not to share similar feelings. It was great to distract all the younger ones from the disappointments of the war and stuff, and, in an effort to include older kids, those over the age of eleven were allowed to help out with the stations and organizing the participants into groups.
Nine of those older children moved out and began separating all the younger kids into the their groups of six—three girls, three boys, if they had that many. If not, it didn't really matter. The Jounin—two Sannin-level, and one Hokage—moved off to their stations. Sakura and Kaede took their places at their particular station: The Human Knot. Their groups would hold hands with someone other than the person next to them, and could not hold hands with the same person, resulting in the formation of a big knot of arms and hands, all entwined together. They'd have to find a way to untie it, resulting in a whole bunch of giggles and odd moves.
Naruto, of course, was at Hokage Says, while Rock Lee stayed at the Human Table, which was just what it sounded like. Four people formed a human table and tried to hold it as long as possible. Neji was in charge of the needle balancing station—and parents need not worry. The needles were made of plastic, and pretty big, leaving no room for any injury. Miki was at the charades station, one that would probably be difficult for her. Since the leaders of the stations—along with the older kids—were supposed to participate, too, Miki was going to have a hard time keeping her mouth shut when it was her turn to act out what the little slip of paper told her to.
Hinata was leading the apple necking, Shikamaru the Alphabet game, Kakashi the Rhyme Game, and Tsunade and Shizune were working the Egg on a Spoon area.
Kaede and Sakura smiled at their first group, made up of six shy-looking little kids. The youngest looked to be six, the oldest about eight. Good, they'd varied the ages. Sakura and Kaede stared up by taking each other by the hand. They encouraged the other kids to do so, too, and soon all of them were tangled in a huge knot. Laughter coursed through the room from their little group, joining that of all the other stations.
As they wriggled and twisted and ducked and stepped, Kaede and Sakura shot secret smiles at each other. This really was a great thing, letting all the kids have a day full of fun and relaxation. Today, there would be no reason for them to worry about the war and about missing or dead relatives and friends. There was no reason for bad memories to haunt them like every other day. They could just have a good time and play with their friends.
And Kaede was having a ball, too. Watching all those faces light up just made her feel all warm and tingly inside, and thoughts of Sasuke were pushed to the back of her mind. Sakura saw this happening in her friend, and smiled knowingly.
While the day wore on, several odd, funny, and exciting things happened.
During Hokage Says, Naruto was down to the last little girl in his current group. That little girl held off on Hokage Says for fifteen minutes against Naruto, who was throwing tricks left and right, trying to confuse her. But she kept on going until Naruto just held up his hand and said, "Alright, I'm through, you win!" By that time, everyone else had gathered around to watch.
When it had been Miki's turn to try to perform a charade, she'd drawn the slip of paper that read, "Orochimaru," ironically enough. In an attempt to act out the evil man, she'd hissed and stuck out her tongue and crept towards the kids, laughing maniacally. They had merely stared at her in confusion, the older ones looking at her like she was the dumbest thing on the planet. Kaede was able to see the frustration building up in her friend, and stood back to watch.
Again, Miki lunged at the kids, who didn't move a muscle. One even stuck his tongue out at her! She touched her neck where the curse mark would be, said something along the lines of, "It's hopeless, my child," and even mentioned claimed that "Sarutobi sensei was a old fool who had no strength to him."
Still, though, the children watched her with now dubious and bored expressions, and she finally flung herself to the ground in agony and wailed, "What is wrong with you people? Don't you know who I am?!"
And one little girl yelled out, "Orochimaru!"
Miki then went limp with the air of someone giving up and sacrificing themselves to the will of the higher power, in this case, the annoying little children. As a result, she did not hear the battle cry of the older boy, and was therefore not expecting the pileup of children suddenly barreling down on her.
Kaede smiled at the event that had occurred not too long ago as she stood in front of the crowd of little kids along with all the others who had assisted in the makeshift "field day" of sorts. It was time to give out the awards.
Naruto was in the middle, smiling down at the dozens of children with that goofy, fox-like grin he always had. Kaede couldn't help but admire how much he loved the children of the village. She, too, had enjoyed the company of the little kids in her reign as Hokage, but she hadn't been able to relate to them in the way Naruto could. Once again her chest tightened at the reminder of her inability to suit the position of Hokage very well. She quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind and focused on the awards.
"Okay," Naruto was saying, rifling through a stack of unorganized papers. He withdrew several sheets and straightened them. "The awards for the quickest Human Knot untying goes to…Team Four!" The small crowd cheered as those who were in Team Four bounded up to Naruto and received their certificates. As soon as they'd sat back down, Naruto continued. "The award for best teamwork goes to…"
For over an hour this went on, with each team receiving some kind of award, and individual certificates being handed out. Most of the parents' faces were proud, some were sad, but happy, and Kaede had to fight back tears as she heard one child exclaim, "Mama, mama look! I got a cerfificate! Look look! I've never got one before!" A few moments later, she heard that little boy's mother say, "Yes, honey, it's beautiful. I'm sure your father would have been proud."
It struck her then like the flat side of a sledgehammer how much these kids were affected by the war. Their families had been killed, friends had dashed off to battle, and parents had never returned. Children were left without fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends…it was heart-wrenching to think about.
But seeing all of those bright, smiling little faces made Kaede feel proud about bringing a small piece of light to this underground haven they were all living in.
Soon, all the awards had been given out, and Kaede left the room with Miki and Sakura. Naruto wasn't far behind, and the four of them made themselves comfortable in their room. Kaede leaned against the wall in between Sakura and Miki. The pink-haired kunoichi to her right was holding hands with the blonde Hokage, and Kaede smiled to herself. It brought a sense of home and comfort to see Naruto and Sakura snuggling and looking at each other with the same goo-goo eyes she knew she gave Sasuke—used to give Sasuke, she meant.
She bit into her lip to keep from crying as Neji walked in and took his place next to Miki. She was beginning to feel like a fifth, unwelcome wheel, and it stung. She watched envyingly while Neji let Miki lean against his shoulder, holding her in a way similar to the way Sasuke held Kaede. Her stomach began churning and she stood, wavering slightly on unsteady legs.
"Are you alright?" Naruto asked, immediately getting up and steadying her. His blue eyes were filled with concern as he tried to convince her to sit back down. "You're tired, and you've been through a lot lately. Just sit and rest, Kaede. Come on, sit down and rest a bit."
"No, I'm fine," she answered stubbornly, shaking her head and tearing herself from Naruto's grasp. "I'm just going to get some water, okay?"
And she stumbled to the door, feeling woozier than ever, barely making through. Her clumsily moving feet carried her down the hallway in a zigzagging pattern, into the kitchen, where she just about collapsed on the sink. She turned the tap and stuck her head under the faucet, letting the cool water flow into her mouth and over her face. She swallowed greedily; relishing the relaxing feel quenching her thirst was giving her. Her head began to clear and she sighed, turning off the water and sagging against the edge of the sink. Oh, Kami, this was terrible.
Just as she was feeling better and able to stand on her own two feet, a sharp sting shot through the left side of her neck. Her hand flew up to touch the spot, and she felt a bruise-like texture on three distinctly shaped spots close together. The stinging became almost unbearable, and she fell to the floor, crying out in pain. She writhed and curled up in as tight of a ball as she dared to. Her entire body ached, lighting hot needles of agony coursing through her every particle, every nerve.
She loosed a banshee scream, the bitterness of the mark on her neck driving her senses wild. Black splotches appeared before her eyes, and as the darkness began closing in, she spitefully wondered why she had never held more concern for the mark Orochimaru had given her as a child.
How's that for an ending? I wanted to do something for the kids, and to have something that would take Kaede's mind momentarily off Sasuke and her breaking up. Don't worry, there'll be more excitement to come! I'm hoping to reach twenty chapters with this story, so your review are so much encouragement!
And if anyone knows someone who could draw pictures of the characters in here, like Kaede and Miki, please let me know, because I have no artistical talent and I'd really like a picure of Kaede and Sasuke together, and Miki and Neji together. thanks!
Review! Luv ya!
Nicola