A/N: OK I've revised this chapter.
Its not too different, I've change the man-vampire into a woman instead (My orginal plot would suffer if it was a man instead

AND added a Disclaimer: Supernatural, Sam and Dean are not mine..
What is mine though is the plot and the Vampire-thing as well as any other characters we might meet along the way ;-)

SO read and review cause you know you want to.

"I close my eyes and brace myself
I only noticed your face
No matter what you're gonna build my shell
No matter what you're gonna build my shell"

Dean was 13 when it came to him. It was a type of vampire. Dean was out hunting with John.
Sam was home, he wasn't there to see and hear it.
Dean was glad that Sam wasn't there. The vampire-thing came to Dean while John had left him alone to check on Sam.

She called out to him.

"Hey Boy"

Dean whirled around ready to shoot.

"Easy boy, I only thought I'd talk to you, but you seem like a "shoot first ask questions later" kind of kid. Did your daddy teach you that, to just kill anything without asking questions first? That is not a wise choice. Do you plan on killing me, without even knowing if I'm either good or bad?"

Dean knew she was just trying to get some kind of reaction out of him. He pulled the gun higher aiming at her heart.. well where her heart would be if she had one.
"What? Of course I'm going to kill you! It's losers like you that have hurt my family. One of you damn demons killed my mom!"

"Tsk Tsk Tsk" She circled around Dean like a lion stalks his prey.

"Aw Dean, did your daddy teach you to talk that way? Where is dear old dad anyways?"

Dean thought about telling her a lie, he decided not to. Who knows what that vampire could do to him? It could read minds for all he knew
He grit his teeth.

"He went to go check on Sam."

"Oh?"

The Vampire almost chuckled out loud. This would be easy. She thanked the vampire gods and caught herself before he smiled.

"Dad just left his boy out here by himself? He's not worried about you?"

"He's worried about me too, but since Sam is so young--"

"He's more importent" the vampire nodded and shrugged.

"I guess Sam is just a more importent issue, being a good student and all. I'm sure John has big plans for Sammy-boy. So, it'd be natural to be more concerned about him. While his other son is out here alone near some dark and scary woods with a monster that could wind up killing him at any time."

Dean reeled, he had just been thinking about that.

Could this thing read his mind? or was it that obvious how he felt?

"Dad loves me too! " He cried indignatly.

The Vampire stood in front of him and Dean had to look up at her. She looked him in the eyes.

"No he doesn't Dean. He loves Sam, hes just keeping you around to be his little soldier and do his hunting"

Then in an instant the Vampire-thing jumped in the air over Dean and ran farther into the woods. Dean ran after him at first then he stopped

'What was that?' he thought 'Where was dad? he should have been here. He really must only be worried about Sam! This is all Sam's fault!'

Then only a second later did he hear from a distance

"Hey, Son. Dean! Where are you?"

When he heard his dad he ran out of the woods where he had followed that thing.

"I'm right here dad."

"Where were you? Did you see something?"

Dean thought about the creature and decided not to say anything about it. Then he'd just get mad that Dean had let it get away.

"No dad, I did'nt. I just wanted to make sure that there was'nt anything in there" His dad walked up to him.

"You should'nt go into the woods by yourself! YOU know that! You're not old enough yet, you have'nt been trained well enough yet"

Dean thought about what that Vamp-thing had said

"Yeah, ok dad. I'm sorry"

John looked at Dean for a second wondering what he would ever do with Dean. John loved Dean he knew that he'd never be able to make it if Dean just ran around doing whatever he wanted to instead of thinking before he acted.

"I should'nt have left you here alone, in a year or two Sam will be old enough to come help on hunts. Then he'll be here and I won't have to leave you alone."

"yeah, sure. Can't wait." Dean mumbled "Can we go home now?"

"Ok son, let's go"

That is when it started. Dean loved his brother, But, he also hated him. Always having to look after him was grating on his nerves. He wanted to protect him but at the same time he hated it.

'Sam's so young.' he thought 'But when am I ever importent? Sometimes I want someone to worry about me. Everyone is always so worried about Sam and looking after him since mom died. I loved her more than he could.'

Dean missed his mom and he always knew that it was partly Sam's fault that she died. He just did'nt know why. He knew that that was why his dad was always more worried about him.

'I miss mom'

Dean always had a river of rage that seemed to rush to the surface easily. He could control it sometimes, but sometimes he would just burst. He grew tired of being the big brother, mother and father of Sam. It was'nt Sam's fault that their dad had to leave on sporadic trips that seemed incessent, but in a way it seemed like it was. Dean was always confused

Sam was so young. He was only 9 years old. Even though he was so young he still looked totally up to Dean. His dad was never around much and Dean always took care of him.

'He's like my brother, and my dad.' Sam would think bitterly. 'My own dad -OUR own dad- is never even here.'

He was always sad about that because then Dean had to take care of him and Dean had no one to take care of him.

'I wish I could take care of you, Dean.'

Is a thought that Sam would get alot. Especially when Dean would come home from a hunt with bruises from running or combat from some other creature he would be facing that night.
Sam wanted to be just like his big brother. He wanted to be a hero and kill bad things. He would do anything for Dean. His blind devotion did'nt seem to help Dean's anger issues sometimes though, it would even make him madder sometimes.
Sam remembered once asking his brother why he was so mean sometimes but Dean only grunted, hit him and said

"One day I'll let you know."

The same year of the run-in with the Vampire-thing Dean got a girlfriend to take his mind of things and after all he was 13. Sam walked in on them making out and told their dad.
Dean got really mad and hit Sam hard. Then he apoligized.
Sam just thought that it was because he wanted that girl to do those things to him. He did'nt know the real reason Dean blew up, he had no idea how his brother could be so mad at him.
Soon after during that year Dean started getting confused about girls and boys. He caught himself looking at a boy more than one and berated himself and tried to forget.

He needed a release though.

It just so happend that Sam was there, looking so innocent that he got mad about everything and hit him a couple times.
Then he did it more and more... He was always so sorry that he had done it. He always apoligized and Sam seemed not to care.

Sam knew that his brother would be sorry everytime. He always was, he always apoligized and said that he was sorry.
Sam did'nt ever say anything and he took it because inside he knew that it was hard taking so many orders from Dad and hunting on weekends in between school and girls. He always told himself

'you can forget this. You'll be okay. You're helping him. One day he'll see just how much you care about him and he'll stop, he'd have to'

Sam would do anything for Dean.

Soon sam stopped crying whenever Dean hit him. He knew that he just had to get tougher. Sam often asked himself how he could let Dean see that he cared so that he'd stop. He knew that Dean would'nt stop though, Sam deserved it. Dean would tell him sometimes why he deserved it, he would mumble things like "It's your fault mom's dead".

So Sam did everything that he could to be better. For Dean. For Himself.

One time though Dean started being rough while playing some game with Sam and thought that he liked it. Too much. It scared him at first but, Sam did'nt say anything so he dismissed it.

Once Dean turned 14 he thought of himself as ready to experiment more.

He once had a girl over and told Sam that they were 'playing' together and that they wanted him to 'get lost'. Sam wanted to 'play' too so he snuck into Dean's room and peeked in. He saw Dean sitting on the bed and the girl was doing different things to him. Sam felt a pang of jelousy though he would'nt reconize that particular feeling til he was older, but he felt oddly hurt. He did'nt know what to do, he would do anything for Dean but this was too much.
Sam stormed in and asked them what exactly they thought that they were doing and called the girl a whore and a succubus. She did'nt know what that was but she got freaked out and ran out. Leaving Dean mad and horny, he blew up.

"Why did you do that?!"

"Because! You should'nt do those things. I did'nt want you to get in trouble with dad"

"I WAS doing fine until you showed up!"

Dean was mad. Really mad. Sam knew that when Dean got mad that he would really get hit hard, or beaten but, Sam had no way of knoing what Dean would do next.
Then Dean grabbed his little brother and shoved him onto the bed. Sam braced himself ready for Dean to slap him hard, but to Sam's surprise and horror Dean did'nt hit him. He had kissed him! Sam pushed him away.

"No! Dean NO! This is WRONG!"

"Shut up. You are in trouble Sam. I'm mad at you and I want to hurt you. I need to hurt you"

Sam did'nt say anything he just braced himself and tried to get through it. He could'nt stop Dean and he was sorry that he had even thought about doing what he did. He just wanted to protect him this time, because his big brother had always protected him.

'you can forget this, Sam. This is not Dean this is not like him! He'll be sorry later and it will all be okay'

"I'm Sorry" was all that Sam could even whisper once his brother was done with him. Dean did'nt say anything back, he just sat on the bed and cried. He had been so mad, so angry. What was wrong with him?
He could'nt believe that he could have done what he just did.

That year Sam just kept himself in a shell and whenever Dean blew up at him and decided to hurt him he'd just try not to think.
Sam kept thinking 'Dean will be sorry, he'll say it. He always did.'

But, he soon lost faith that his brother would say that he was sorry. Because he never did. Sometimes he'd just beat him up a bit and walk away and sometimes he'd do other things and after he did that he'd just sit and cry.

Sam loved dean. He wanted -he needed- his brother to see that.

This went on for 2 more years. Finally Dean was 16 and Sam was 12.
It was sudden when Dean stopped touching his brother. Sam was used to it by now and wondered what he did that made Dean stop.

Sam tucked tighter into his shell, wondering what he had done that was so bad that Dean would'nt even touch him anymore.
For years Sam was unstable and insecure about everything. Soon he did'nt want Dean near him unless he had to, he depended on him and still loved him but for Sam it was'nt the same. It might never be.

As for Dean. He stopped touching Sam... he wanted to be brothers again. He wanted to stop hurting Sam most of all. Then when Sam would'nt let Dean be near him as much anymore Dean knew.
Sam still depended on him. Frankly, he depended on Sam and still loved Sam, but it was'nt the same. It might never be.


TBC...