Stress relief

Lily walked to the great hall with her sunglasses on inside. According to one certain Tamara, it helps to relieve a drunken headache. Unfortunately, this wasn't working as well as planned. Her head was feeling like two porcupines were dancing a tango inside the front, spikes and all.

"Ow…" she muttered, rubbing her temples.

"Good Morning Miss EVVVVVANSSS!" a voice yelled in her ear, causing the porcupines to jump in alarm.

"Sirius Black! You detestable beast!" Lily snarled at him.

He grinned back.

"You already told me that last night, Lily… while we were in bed together!"

Lily took off her sunglasses and raised an eyebrow, her eyes blearily.

"You had better be joking, Mr Black." She muttered, "Or I'm going to take your wand and put it in your –"

"Good morning, Lily." James's voice gently commented behind her, "it's good to see you are well."

"In all parts, eh Prongs?" Sirius nudged James, "oh well, time for me to leave you on your feet, lily…. Prongs, she's really good!"

Sirius clicked his tongue and made a click gun shooting movement with his hand.

"Evans." He grinned before heading towards the table. Lily raised her glasses and looked at James.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

James blushed a roaring red and scratched the back of his head.

"Um…. Well…" he mumbled, "You see, the truth is I…. Have no idea what that was about." He finished lamely.

Lily crossed her arms.

"Mr Potter?" she asked, eyebrow raised. James gulped; desperately looking for a proverbial sign marked with a large red 'escape!'. He found it in Peter.

"Hey, Wormtail! Wait up?" he called and dashed off.

Lily sighed.

"I swear to god those boys are idiots." She muttered.

"I would hope you would not be including me, Lily." A quiet, hoarse voice commented dryly from behind her.

Lily jumped and spun around to meet the amber eyes of everyone's favourite werewolf.

"Remus!" she snapped, "do not sneak up on me like that again or I will hex you!"

Remus cocked an eyebrow.

"You can try." He said, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Remus was renowned for being the best at Defence against the Dark Arts, "I doubt you will be very successful."

Lily gulped, noticing Remus's canines. But she wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

"So?" she commented, casually, "when's the next full moon?"

Remus's eyes narrowed. He grabbed her arm and began to drag her into a corridor.

"We need to talk." He growled, "Miss Evans."

Sirius looked up from the table just in time to see Remus drag Lily away into the corridor. He grinned and elbowed James in the ribs. James choked on his toast.

"God, Padfoot, can't a man eat in peace?"

Sirius's grin widened.

"Even if one of the aforementioned man's friends is dragging the aforementioned man's crush out of the great hall into the corridor alone?" he asked innocently.

James's ears caught up with his brain.

"Huh?"

Sirius barked a laugh.

"I think Moony's trying to steal your girl." He stage whispered.

James levitated upright, a scowl on his face. Without another word, he spun on his heel and left the great hall, following Remus's footsteps.

Peter looked up at Sirius, whose face was contorted with a combination of shock and excitement. He nudged Sirius.

"Shall we follow them?"

Sirius's neck snapped around.

"Yes." He answered, perfectly straight apart from the wicked glint in his eyes, "Yes we shall."

Remus stopped in his tracks and spun around to face a very frightened Lily.

"What the hell do you think you are trying to pull?" he snarled, grabbing her by the shoulders, "God, you might as well shout it out to the whole world!"

Lily swallowed, nervously.

"Remus, calm down." She replied, trying to cool Remus's full moon induced rage.

Remus snarled.

"Do you have any idea, any at all inside that uncontaminated brain of yours, what it's like to turn into a monster once a month?"

Lily nodded, trying to lighten the mood.

"Uh, Remus… I'm a girl… it's called periods."

Remus raised an eyebrow, his anger still bubbling.

"I'm attempting to be serious." He replied, his voice cold and wary.

Lily nodded.

"I know. I know. Look, it's ok, Remus, you can trust me with this one."

Remus's other eyebrow got bored and decided to join the first for a picnic. He leaned down.

"It seems like I do not have a choice, doesn't it?" he spat

Lily nodded again, trying to keep on Remus's good side.

"Any problem here?" James's voice called out.

The two people jumped and turned to look at one certain, very agitated James Potter. His hair was ruffled, his arms were crossed and he didn't look very happy at all, in any way whatsoever.

Remus leaned backwards, a strange glitter in his eye.

"No, Prongs… it's fine." He muttered.

James stormed forwards, the scowl on his face becoming more pronounced.

'What the hell did he say to you, Lily?' James asked, teeth gritted.

Lily had never seen James look angrier. She took a deep breath and stepped away from the lanky man beside her.

"I said something I shouldn't have." She muttered.

James frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Remus looked calmly at James.

"About my furry little problem, Prongs."

James laughed callously.

"Ha! And you wanted to talk to her without me here, right? Seriously it's not like it's just between you and her… unless there's more to it."

Lily's jaw dropped.

"How could you even think that I'd…"?

Remus gently pushed Lily back behind him.

"It's ok, Lily, let me handle this one." he whispered quietly to her, "James is just a little jealous."

James growled and drew his wand.

"Don't you even dare touch her, Wolf boy." He growled.

Remus raised his eyebrow again.

"What is it to you, Mr Potter, whether I touch her or not…. I mean it's not like she belongs to you."

James growled and pointed his wand in Remus's direction.

"Is this like a wolf thing? Looking for a mate are we?"

To Lily's astonishment, Remus smiled. Then she noticed that it wasn't a nice smile. Oh no, it was one of those watch-yourself-I-might-bite-back smiles. He took a step backwards and put an arm around Lily's shoulders. His grin widened as the colour slowly drained from James's face

"I think you might be overreacting, Mr Potter." He said calmly.

James snarled and raised his wand.

"I'll show you what over reacting is… Relashio!"

Before Lily could even blink she was being thrust aside. He was only saved from slamming into the wall by a pair of pale arms… attached to a Gryffindor Uniform… with messy black hair, grey eyes and a huge grin on his face.

"Sirius Black." She frowned, "Release me, if you don't mind."

Sirius tilted his head and led go of her. She fell to the ground, cursing at herself for being so stupid as to trust Sirius Black.

"Sure." He smirked and offered her his hand.

Lily scowled and grabbed it. She got to her feet and watched as Remus drew his wand. There were some scorch marks on his robes where the spark-throwing spell had hit him but apart from that there was no lasting damage.

"Can you stop this?' she asked Sirius.

It was Peter who replied.

"This is very typical of us… usually, it's Sirius and James who duel."

Lily raised an eyebrow at Sirius, who shrugged.

"Good for getting out stress… but I think that if Remus wants to hurt James, James is going to remain hurt. Remus is a brilliant dueller."

Lily looked back in horror, just in time to see James's jaw shift.

"Furnunculus!" he cried and waved his wand.

Remus smiled and called back.

"Protego!"

The spell went ricocheting off towards the stonewall, where it was dispersed safely. Remus spun around and jabbed his wand at James.

"Silencio!"

James was struck dumb. Remus exhaled.

"Right, now that I have gotten you to shut your big mouth…"

James clenched his jaw and waved his wand. A red jet of light shot at Remus, who blocked it easily and retaliated with silver light.

"Two can play at that game, Mr Potter." He said, calmly

Lily looked at Sirius.

"Non spoken hexes?' she asked.

Sirius nodded and grinned.

"Yep. Both of them."

Lily looked at James, whose feet were jerking around, making him look like a bad marionette.

"Tarantallegra?" she questioned.

Sirius laughed.

"Nope, that's how James normally moves…"

Remus pointed his wand at James.

"Let me just take that nasty stick away from you. Expelliarmus!"

James's wand went flying. Remus caught it with a grin and pointed both wands at James.

"I hate to quote Clint Eastwood, but are you feeling lucky, punk?" he grinned.

Sirius snorted in laughter.

"Give?' Remus asked.

James opened his mouth. No sound came out. Remus laughed.

"Oh, silly me. I forgot that you were dumb… and that you were unable to speak. Here, let me help. Sonorus!"

James sighed.

"Fine, ok… you win. What was it you were talking about?"

Remus grinned.

"I thought we had already covered that?"

James laughed.

"I'm sorry, Lily." He apologised, a goofy grin on his face, "I can't help it if you drive me crazy…"

Lily blushed. Sirius howled with laughter.

"Hey, now your face matches your hair!"

Lily shoved Sirius into the wall. James chortled.

"All right, Evans?"

Lily shot him a death look, just as James's face went slack.

"Snivellus." He growled.

Lily followed his gaze. Immediately, the entire corridor filled with tension so thick, you'd need a chainsaw to even make a dent in it. Severus Snape slouched up to the five of them.

"Well, well, well." He sneered, "If it isn't the four marauders and their pet mudblood… what a chance meeting."

James started forwards, only to have Remus put a hand out. Severus laughed.

"Oh dear me, is there trouble in paradise?"

Sirius folded his arms.

"No, but there will be if you don't sod off, Snivellus. Leave and take your filthy greasy hair with you!"

Severus laughed coldly.

"No, thank you very much, Blood traitor, but I think I'll stay right here. Maybe I'll even have some sport with the mudblood."

James scowled.

"Don't even think about it, Snivellus, or I'll have your head."

Severus stretched lazily.

"You cannot stop me, Potter, no matter what you do."

All of a sudden, like a rake in the grass, Severus had his wand in his hand and shouted out a curse at Lily.

"Sectumpemra!"

Lily screamed, but it was James who moved. He tugged her aside and cradled her in his arms, shielding her. Remus immediately reacted. He blocked the curse with one of the most powerful shields that Lily had ever seen and sent the purple light into the wall again. She was so shocked by what had happened, she put her head into James's shoulder and wept.

James soothed her.

"There, it's ok. Remus can kick Severus's arse from here to Drumstrang."

Remus threw James's wand back to him. James caught it and held it, ready to defend. But all of Severus's anger was now directed at Remus. He snarled and raised his wand.

"Like the air, Lupin? Levicorpus"

Lupin dived aside and rolled as the jolt of light hit behind him. He came back up, ready to attack.

"Lacrimosus!"

Snape fell to the ground, clutching his head.

"Argh! No! No! Father, no! Don't hit… No!"

Lily watched on in shock as Severus cried and screamed. She looked up into James's hazel eyes.

"What the hell kind of curse was that?" she wanted to know.

James exhaled.

"It's a NEWT curse, supposed to bring back painful memories… it's ok, the effects wear off in time. It's to give a distinct advantage in a duel, or so Moony tells me."

Lily watched on as Severus stopped shaking and screaming. He almost calmly got to his feet, his face hard.

"You… you… I'm going to make you pay for that…"

Severus raised his wand and screeched out a new curse.

"Serpensortia!"

A huge, black snake came flying through the air. It landed with a hiss and made towards Remus, who stood, facing the serpent in shock. Peter grinned and muscled his way forwards.

"I'll take care of this!" he waved his wand in a flouncy circular style. There was a bang and the snake flew up in the air. (a/n: Gilderoy Lockhart Style!).

"Wormtail, you idiot!" Sirius growled.

Wormtail gulped as the snake landed and made towards Remus. Remus raised his wand, just as Severus cried "Locomotor Mortis!"

Remus's legs snapped together. He growled, unable to jump away, to gather more time for a counter curse.

Lily looked over to Sirius who seemed to be muttering something. She was surprised at what she heard.

"Why does it always have to be me?" he mumbled, "Bloody terrific."

Sirius all of a sudden sprang forwards and grabbed the snake around its neck. It hissed and sank its fangs into his wrist. Sirius stiffened and feel to the floor, convulsing, slowly turning purple.

Lily gasped.

"Jesus!"

Remus snarled and pointed his wand at the snake.

"Finite Incantatem!"

The snake disappeared into smoke. He then pointed his wand at his legs.

"Locomotor Mobile!"

His legs sprang back apart. Finally, he pointed his wand at Severus, his hand shaking in rage.

"Expelliarmus!"

The offending wand went flying through the air and landed with a clatter in front of Remus, who kicked it behind him.

"James? Peter? Get Sirius to the hospital wing. Lily? Clear the way with your prefect badge."

James went to put a hand on Remus's shoulder.

"Moony, I…"

"Just go!" Remus ordered, "I can take care of this."

James nodded and hefted one of Sirius's arms over his shoulder.

"Come on, Wormtail, move your butt!"

Peter nodded and grabbed the other arm. Together, with lily, they began to drag Sirius off to the hospital wing.