Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 13: Jamie Lynn Potter.

James' POV

On September 1st, we arrived at Platform 9 ¾ at 10:55. There was already smoke puffing out of the train and no one else was on the platform, aside from parents who wanted to watch their kids ride away. I took my time to get my trunk loaded and find the cabin that had my friends in it. As soon as I touched the seat, the train started to move.

"Perfect timing – like always," I said.

"Yeah, perfect. If you'd arrived one second later you wouldn't have made it on the train!" said Peter.

"Correction," I said, holding up my finger. "I wouldn't have made it into my seat." Peter rolled his eyes and turned back to trying to turn his chocolate frog into a chocolate tadpole.

"Wormtail, don't you realize that turning your frog into a tadpole will make there be less chocolate?" said Sirius.

"No, because the tadpole will just be the frog stretched out and it will be smaller but longer," said Peter 'impressively'.

"Right," said Sirius. "But the frog is fatter. Look at these pictures." He whipped out a book called Amazing Amphibians. "The frog is fatter and the tadpole is longer but if you compare them you see that they are not nearly the same size. The frog is clearly bigger."

As they continued their intellectual argument about frogs and tadpoles, I looked out the window. We were passing by mountains already. The trees were orange, red, yellow, and green. The array of colors was so beautiful. I had never really appreciated nature before, but now I actually took notice. I don't know why.

Maybe it was because I had usually been preoccupied with trying to figure out what to do that would actually impress Lily not repulse her, but now I didn't have to.

I smiled at that thought.

I just have to make sure I don't mess it up, I thought.

At that moment, there was a frantic knock on the door. Sirius and Peter shut up and looked at the door as Remus said "come in."

The door pushed open and Lily stepped inside. She was wearing a one-shoulder turquoise shirt that showed off enough of her stomach to see her turquoise belly button ring. She also had on a black skirt that went down about to the middle of her thighs. She was wearing black flip-flops and that anklet with the lily on it.

"Can I come in?" she asked, looking behind her. Before we even answered she walked inside and shut the door behind her.

"Uh, sure," said Remus.

"Oh no," said Lily, turning around. "Not you four. I might want to take my chances outside…"

"No, sit down," said Remus.

"Preferably on a seat, but our laps are always open," smirked Sirius. Lily blushed but I just looked at Sirius and rolled my eyes. Inside I was embarrassed but I had learned long ago not to blush or show that I was humiliated.

"Yeah, Evans, wherever you're most comfortable," I said. She looked at me and I saw a faint trace of a smile.

"You know, Potter, I would but I'm afraid your big head would knock me off," she said and sat down next to Remus. I shrugged.

"Suit yourself," I said.

"Thanks, I will."

"What's going on?" asked Remus.

"Nothing, we're just being our usual selves," said Lily, quickly. She's not very good at lying. I happen to love that about her. And I also happen to be very good at it myself.

"I meant, what's happening which compelled you to come to our compartment to seek safety," said Remus, smirking.

"Oh," said Lily turning pink. "Miranda and Megan are driving me crazy."

"Where's Tina?" asked Peter.

"Why, do you like her?" teased Sirius.

"No, I'm going out with Janice," said Peter.

"She sort of detached from us," said Lily.

"Oh," said Remus. Suddenly there was a loud shriek outside the door.

"Get your hands off of me!" shouted a girl.

"You get your hands off of me!" screamed another girl.

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

The compartment door tore open. Megan was standing there with Miranda coming up fast behind her. Seeing Lily and the Marauders, Megan rolled her eyes with a frantic sigh and stomped off.

Miranda came up to the door and smiled.

"Finally. Normal people," she said. "I can't stand her." She jerked her thumb at Megan's back.

"That's too bad," said Lily, smiling sweetly and standing up. I knew that smile. She usually had it on her face when she was trying to suck up to me so that she could get close enough to slap me.

Remembering this, I touched my cheek. Lily saw it out of the corner of her eye and grinned.

"So what's up?" asked Miranda.

"I'll tell you what's up," said Lily losing her smile. "I can't stand you right now. So you should just get out before I really lose my temper!" she slammed the door shut, straightened her skirt, and sat back down. "So," she said, "how were your guys' summers?"

Sirius got over his shock first and answered.

"Interesting, to say the least," he said, looking from me to her and back again.

"Yes…interesting…" said Remus.

"What was so interesting?" asked Peter.

"Well, let's just say Lily and James got a little friendly–"started Remus but I kicked him and he shut up.

"What do you mean?" asked Peter, confused. Sirius jumped right into the story.

"Well, Remus and I were chatting online, quite innocently-"

Lily snorted.

"Please, Black. We all know what you were looking at."

I stifled a laugh.

"Shut up," said Sirius. "Anyway. I turned on the web cam and guess what I saw?"

"What?" asked Peter. Before Sirius could answer, I grabbed his arm and dragged him outside.

"Don't tell him!" I hissed. "What are you doing?" Sirius smirked.

"Sorry, Jamie, he wants to know."

"Sirius, seriously, don't tell him. I swear, I'll kill you if you tell anyone."

"All right, fine. I won't," said Sirius.

"Good. I'll be right back I need to go to the bathroom," I said and turned away. I heard Sirius go into the compartment. I sighed and walked to the bathrooms.

I was heading back when I heard laughter coming from our compartment. I stopped outside it and listened.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, listen guys. After that, I go," Sirius laughed, "I go, I KNEW I shouldn't have given you the benefit of the doubt!" There was another roar of laughter.

I pushed open the door. Remus, Peter, and Sirius were all in hysterics and Lily was sitting next to them, beet red.

"Sirius!" I sighed. "I'm never trusting you again." I sat down and put my arm around Lily's shoulders. "How are you doing here without me to protect you?" To my surprise she put her head on my chest and closed her eyes.

"I was doing ok but it's better now," she said. Sirius whistled. Suddenly I remembered something.

"Do you guys want to hear about what happened to Sirius last year? I don't think you've heard." I smirked.

"Oh yeah, I'd love to hear that one," said Lily, grinning at Sirius.

"Yeah, let's hear it," said Remus. Peter nodded vigorously so I got up and stepped in front of the door.

"Well-"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Sirius as he tackled me.

"He – he-" I struggled to say it but Sirius clamped his hand over my mouth.

Suddenly Lily gasped.

"Remus, we have a Prefects meeting!" Of course those two were made Prefects.

"Oh yeah!" Lily and Remus both leapt over me and Sirius and ran out of the compartment.

"Sirius, let me up," I mumbled against his hand.

"Fine," he said and stood up.

"God, how much do you weigh?" I asked, pretending to rub my arm. Seconds later I was on the floor again.

"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius," said Peter. "Don't you see the better opportunity?" Sirius looked at him strangely.

"What?" he said.

"Come here," said Peter. Sirius got off me and went over to Peter. They whispered to each other for a bit while I stood up shakily and sat down on the seat.

"Brilliant!" said Sirius, high fiving Peter.

"This can't be good," I groaned.

What kinds of friends do this? My friends, apparently. I need new friends.

They Stunned me. They Stunned me! And when I woke up…I'm too embarrassed to say it. But if I don't, Sirius will show you the pictures. When I woke up, I noticed how I was in a very cramped space. A box. They had stuffed me in a friggin box! I couldn't see anything either, because the box was my height. The next thing I noticed was my hands were tied TO THE WINDOW. I don't know how they did that, but they did.

I heard a knocking on the box.

"Jamie? You up yet?" called Sirius. I moaned.

"What is your problem?" I said. "You Stunned me! Aaaaaah!" That last part was because I'd realized…oh, my God…they changed my voice. It was a girl's!

I could hear laughter outside the compartment.

"Ok, that's good," said Sirius. Suddenly the front part of my box ripped open. There was a crowd of people in our compartment. It might have been the whole train!

As soon as they saw me, everyone started laughing.

"What?" I squeaked in my horribly unnatural feminine voice. That made them laugh more. "Whaaaaaaaaat?" I whined. Sirius, who was clutching his stomach, rolled up a full length mirror.

"See for yourself," he said. Then to Peter "You're a genius, man."

I looked at the mirror expecting to see stuff all over my face or something. I got that but there was also…more stuff.

"Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!" I screamed. My "friends" were rolling around on the floor and snapping pictures.

What I saw in the mirror would haunt me in my dreams for ages. The first thing I saw was I was wearing three-inch stilettos. Then there was NOTHING until I got to my thighs. I was wearing a MINISKIRT. It was so short! How do girls wear them? I mean, I'm not saying not to – they're hot! But on girls. Not guys. That's just wrong.

After the miniskirt the horror continued. I was wearing a shirt that was like the size of a bra, but it was considered a shirt. Over that there was a short jacket and I had a purse.

As I was staring at myself, Sirius was talking to the crowd, trying not to look at me.

"A girl with a six-pack and a guy's body," he said. "How do you like it?" The girls were looking at my abs and looked taken with them, until they looked at the rest of me.

Once I heard Sirius say that I had a horrible feeling. He didn't get rid of my – did he? He was capable of anything, after all. Before I had more time to worry about that I discovered another thing. There was a really uncomfortable feeling in my butt. I could move my hands enough to feel around my body. On my waist I felt a string…

"SIRIUS! YOU PUT A THONG ON ME?" That set off a whole new wave of laughter.

I looked back at the mirror. I still hadn't seen my face. When I did I screamed again.

"Aaaaaah!" I was wearing bright red lipstick. With lip gloss, my great friend Sirius informed me. There was bright pink eye shadow on my eyelids and I think I was wearing mascara and eyeliner too! If you're wondering how I know what they're called, it's because a lot of the girls I've dated like getting make up. Anyway to top it all off, my cheeks were red (blush) and my hair was blonde and CURLED. So basically, Sirius and Peter had turned me into a GIRL.

"Like it? I'm pretty proud of my work," said Sirius. "I think we'll call you…Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lynn Potter. I love it."

"SIRIUS, YOU LET ME OUT NOW! OR ELSE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN SOMEONE DOES LET ME OUT BECAUSE I KNOW SOMEONE WILL! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE, GUYS! GUYS!" Everyone was leaving! Including Sirius and Peter. "NO! GET BACK HERE! LET ME OUT OF THIS! SIRIUS! PETER! YOU RETARDS, GET BACK HERE!"

Sirius poked his head around the door.

"Now, Jamie, that attitude's not getting you out," he said and slammed the door shut.

"Oh, come on," I said. I mean, really, I had to stand there for hours looking like a girl while Sirius and Peter and everyone else were having a good time? Oh, I was definitely going to get revenge.

I couldn't think of anything though. Nothing that rivaled this. I was good at thinking up pranks. I mean, really good. But I just couldn't think of anything right now.

Soon, however, the love of my life came and helped me out.

"Hey, James," said Lily, smirking at me from the door.

"Lily! You have no idea how happy I am to see you! Please get me out of this!"

"All right. But you'll owe me." Lily waved her wand a couple of times and everything disappeared.

Please have my voice back, please have my voice back, I thought.

"Thank you – Lily!" She grinned.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself." She swished her wand and my voice was back to normal.

"Thanks," I said. I felt around my waist. I was wearing normal boxers. And everything else was gone, too.

"I must say, though," said Lily, "you have very nice abs."

I grinned.

"What do I owe you?"

"I don't know. Maybe a kiss…" said Lily slyly, looking away.

"So you want a kiss?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"I dunno, might be nice," she said.

I laughed and pulled her towards me.

"I guess I can do that," I said. I leaned in and closed my eyes. In a second I felt her lips against mine. It was the best kiss I'd ever had.