Chapter 6

Summer had come and it had gone already unfortunately.

Liz was still working, and Jim was still unhappy with it but she was sure he was going to get over it soon. Hopefully.

But the twins knew they were getting more irritable with one another again.

It was like it had been before they had had the baby, when they had actually been thinking of separating.

Steve hoped they didn't. Not for his sake but his sister's. He could understand it. But whay was she going to think if one day she woke up and mummy or daddy were gone.

Especially daddy cos Jim sure as hell was not going to let her go with out a fight. It could get messy.

Katie was relatively unaffected by it though. She had no idea the struggles her family were going to and as long as she got lots of cuddles, at her age, she didn't care.

Her vocabulary was finely beginning to come together. 'Dada' and 'mama' were her first words with in a week of each other and 'Eve' for Steve and 'Dy' for Andy were now common.

No and yeah were also regularly used by her.

Crawling was getting faster and she could raise her self to her feet but walking seemed a mystery to her still, She couldn't get the hang of it.

Lying in to her father one night she seemed particularly grizzly. She had a hot fore head.

"I don't think she's very well. Why don't yer stay home with me and her tonight Liz?" he asked.

She shook her head. Any excuse…

"Cos I hare a shift to do at the pub. I am sure you two will be fine." she stroked a hand down her bays beck and Jim was right. She was hot. Too hot.

"I'm going to book her a doctor's appointment in the morning, she isn't right." Liz observed.

But Jim wasn't sure it was going tot wait till the morning.

What if she had meningitis again ?

When he had come in she had been crying, but now she had stopped. She was too tired. She was just moany

"Dada…" she said in to him as she buried her face in the well known jumper.

No way he going to get her to go to bed tonight. She was so clinging, even more so than she was usually, and he was going to be happier holding her when she wasn't right.

But as the evening progressed Katie got worse. She got more unsettled and unable to relaxed. Her too hot body made it hard for her to get comfortable in any position and the baby was unbeknown making it harder for herself. No matter how her father tried to comfort her, it didn't work. Every time she got worked up she had a coughing fit and he once again felt useless. All he could do was wait for it to pass before he held her again.

"Dad is she ok?" asked Andy when he and his brother got in.

"No, she isn't." he told them as he gave her hot skin a kiss. It was too hot.

"Mama,," she moaned. She wanted Liz for once, though Jim was sure it was just to hear the comfort of her voice for she wasn't trying to get away from him. She wasn't pushing him away.

"Maybe we should get her down the hospital dad. She ain't right. She needs checking over, dad. Just in case." said Andy and his father nodded in agreement. He had been trying to not admit it to himself. He didn't want her to be... she couldn't go through it again.

The lad was right.

"Ok," said Jim as he gave in. He had been thinking it for a while. He just hadn't faced up to it. "Its ok darling I'm here." he whispered to complaining daughter. The usually happy baby wasn't her self by a long shot.

"Should I go get mum dad?" Steve asked.

"If yer want to." he said bitterly. He had had a feeling that Liz should have stayed but she was so pig headed/ just like him.

Rushing out of the house once he had wrapped his daughter in her pink blanket, Jim carried her to the car.

He had to get her to the hospital.

-

Liz was shocked when she saw her under aged son in the pub,

"You out!" she said to him before she saw the worried expression on his face.

"Mum its Katie. Dad's took her to hospital."

-

"You did the right thing Mr. McDonald." said to doctor as he stood over Katherine's crib. For Jim it was all too familiar.

He remembered like it was yesterday how it had felt to stand over her crib, trying to will her to stay with him. Of course this time she was in not so much danger. But she was ill. And she was going to be in for a few nights.

Still they had been told her immune system might be low. She had had a few colds already and she had suffered quiet a bit with them, but nothing like this.,

"When will she be able to come home?" he asked. That was all Jim cared about.

"The end of the week as long as she picks up, there is no reason why she shouldn't." the doctor smiled as the door opened.

Liz was there, and she looked distressed.

"I'm Katherine's mother." she explained as she came in, rushing to take the position on the other side of the crib to her husband,.

"How is she?" she asked desperately.

"She is ok." said the doctor comfortingly. "Or she will be. But she has a chest infection right now, and she is going to have to stay in for a bit. Just till Sunday." he said to her gently.

Putting her hand on the baby's fore head she sighed.

Her poor little girl. "You ok baby?" she asked, but Katie was asleep. She was so peaceful. Liz just wanted to hold her. So reaching in she prepared to take her in to her arms, till her husband protested.

"I just settled her Elizabeth, don't." said Jim to her, with anger in his voice. He had had to look after her and she just came in and took over when he had been the one who had had to comfort her and hug her and lull her in to sleep. He had to watch the nurses and doctors all over her like a rash again. He jujstw anted to let her be now.

When the doctor had left the room Liz retaliated.

"She is my child."

"Not that any one would know by the way you act, if yer catch what I'm saying." he said to her.

"That is not fair him. I look after her all day. I work nine hours a week, a lot less than you do." she pointed out.

"At least I do it begrudgingly. Because I need too. You do it cause you want to!" he said to her angrily.

"And with the way you are with me right now is it any wonder I want to get out of the house for a bit Jim? The only one who listens to me is Katie and she is a baby. What does that say about this family right now?" her eyes glimmered with tears as she looked down. She couldn't remember the last time he had made her feel desired or loved.

-

Katherine had been knocked for six for that illness and recovery even when she was home was slow.

Where she had been sleeping through she again woke twice a night crying out for comfort from her parents which did not help the uncertain grounds that the marriage they had was based on now, and only decreased there energy levels which were low as it had been.

They were tired, they were even more irritable than before and the only one it didn't seem to flare at was their daughter.

It was the middle off the night in November. Three weeks had passed since her daughter was in hospital and here Liz was, up again, given her daughter a bottle.

"Come on you, enough crying., go back to sleep." she tried to soothe her.

And even though Liz knew it was terrible it was nights like these that made her question her choice, now over two years ago.

What if she had had the termination. Would she and Jim be on better footing? Would it have been better if she had simply got rid…

How could she even think that? She thought as guilty hit her.

"I'm sorry baby" she whispered gently. "Come on shh," she said her voice laced with affection. She wouldn't be with out her…not really.

Sitting on the sofa she cradled the tot tenderly. She was trying, just right now life was so hard. For the entire family.

That was when she heard some one coming down the stairs.

"What ever way you look at it it's either too early or to late to row. Go back to bed if that's what you're after Jim." she said to her husband as she sighed exhausted. She couldn't fight him right now.

"I'm not here to row Liz, I'm here to look after my girls. Both of them" he told her as he sat by her side and opened his arms to her. "I'm sorry." he said to her.

Moving next to him she put her head on his shoulder as he gave her a kiss on the top of her head. Normally she'd make him apologize more but she just wanted him. Like they had been when they had just had their boys. So in love that the world stopped just for the,. "I've not been treating you very well have I?"

"Its not all you. I haven't made matters easy." she smiled at him. "Me too, I'm sorry," she said as she pushed her lips against this before turning back to their little girl who had fallen asleep.

"Let's start again yeah, I think we need to start treating the lads better too. Andy and Steven…"

"Are nor on there best behavior." she said to him. It wasn't only them who had been making things hard. The boys had had a right cob on with there parents.

"When are they ever? Things aren't ever going to be easy for us. Not the way we work is it?"

-

Katie looked at the arm chair determinedly. Reaching up and taking the arm in her tiny hand she stood up on her unsteady feet and caught her balance. Then came the hard bit.

Letting go.

One hand at a time she did so till she was standing unaided. Then the really tricky part.

She had seen her big brother, her parents and all there friends do it so much and her parents words of encouragement told her what to do.

One in front of the other.

But that meant nothing to the tot.

But finally just a month off her second birthday it looked like Katherine was going to get this walking stuff.

Taking a foot off the ground she quickly moved it foreword. Too quickly,.

A second later Katie was back where she had started. On the floor looking back up at the arm chair.

"She's trying so hard 'ent she?" Steve said to Andy as they watched there sister start all over again.

Andy nodded. Katie was. Any one could see it, he thought as he went over to her.

"Don't pick her up Andrew." he heard his fathers voice say from the table.

Jim could see his daughter was fine. She just needed to be left to her own devices. If they didn't fuss then she was going to get it in time. She had to be independent of them. As long as she could see a friendly face then she was going to be ok.

Andy nodded, but sat by her and watched as got her balance. If she had a target then it was going to be easier for her.

"Come Katie, come here." he said to her. His father couldn't have a go if she went to him and it gave her more of some thing to aim for.

She did as she did before only this time instead of falling to the floor she fell in to her brothers arms, before sitting contently.

"Yer should have left her so she could have had more of a play." said Steve.

"No she couldn't. Its bath time." said Liz as she came out of the kitchen. "Come on darling." she said as she took her daughter in her arms and carried upstairs.

Katie was good in the bath and as long as it was the right temperature she seemed to quiet enjoy splashing about. Liz liked it too. It was one of the times in the day she got little peace.

Bathing her daughter Liz found was the best bit of the day. It generally took twenty minutes till the bath water made her sleepy, then wrapping her daughter in a warm sleep suit made her tired before a bottle of warm milk finished off them job. She was no trouble to get to sleep normally, though sleeping through was still difficult for her.

-

By Christmas Katie was walking. New year came and it went and life as it always did took over.

1995 was a messy year for the family. Andy got a girl friend, Anne, and Steve as ever went one step further and got married.

And as usual the strain on their mum and dads marriage increased, with here boys growing up and there daughter keeping them up at night. Not what either of them needed.

And by March 1996 every thing seemed to be going pear shaped.

"Steve," the younger of those twins heard an innocent voice ask as he sat in the café.

"Oh hey Katie." he said as he pulled her on to her lap, smiling as he looked up to his mother with her.

"I'm going to get a cuppa love do you want one?" his mum asked.

"yeah alright," he said as he held his sister.

"Steve can I ask you a question?" she asked him looking up with here innocent eyes at him.

"Of course you can ." he said as he had his toast.

"Why don't mummy and daddy like each other no more? All they do is argue and when me and you and Andy do they always tell us off!"" she protested.

Steve smiled. His sister had a lot of knowledge. Too much for one of her age.

"Mum and dad do like each other, I promise but you know some days you just don't want to be with some one or some one annoys you - like Andy.!" he said making her giggle and laugh. "Well you two sort it out don't you ?" she nodded. "Then so will mum and dad. Don't worry,"

-

One month later.

Andy and Steve sat in the living room with Anne and Vicky. It was eleven and the four of them had been baby sitting together and the boys had there arms round the girls. It had been a good night. Katei had gone to bed at eight (when she should have been asleep by seven thirty) and it had been pretty smooth ever since.

Just then thought the good times really did end. And the bad times rolled in.

The door opened sharply and then slammed shut just a fast.

"Welcome home dad." said Andy under his breath.

"Where's mum?" asked Steve as he held on to Vicky.

One thing was clear. Jim was in a temper. A really bad one.

"Jim?" asked Vicky backing up her young husband.

Her father in law made no mends to talk to either of them but he went through to get a drink.

Gods knows he needed it…

How could they.

Johnny and Liz? Two of the people he had trusted must in his life and they had, they had - betrayed him in the worst way they had been able to.

"Dad." he heatd Andy say but he was not in the mood and so taking the scotch he had just poured for himself he went upstairs. He just wanted to be by himself.

Going in to his room he turned on the light and he sat down.

He couldn't believe it. It was just such a shock. He had found out then he had just sort of lost it. He knew he had hit Liz and then he had left her. But where he didn't know where, how long it had been since.

Slowly the door opened timidly.

"Go away!" he said roughly.

"But I had a bad dream daddy!" said his daughter.

It any one was blameless in what had happened it was her. And if she had had a bad dream then she wasn't going to sleep. It was strange. He had been furious. Yet he couldn't take it out on her. Probably the only person he couldn't.

"Alright wee lass. Come here and tell your dad what happened." he said as he picked her up and put her in his lap.

"Mummy didn't come home. Where is my mummy daddy?"

Oh crap.

-

It was the early morning when Liz got to Deirdre's . Her face was painful and it was bruised. She had always known her husband had had a vicious temper but she had never before seen him like he had been last night.

Knocking on the door she sighed. That had been the worst night of her life and she just wanted her children but they were with him then she couldn't get to them as she was petrified of Jim right now.

But what if he was taking it out on them?

Her friend was sympathetic and gave her a home for as long as she need it.

"But it isn't going tot be just me Deirdre. As soon as I can I am going to go and get Katie. I am not having him with her right now."

"Of course she can come and stay with her aunty Deirdre. It will be nice to have a child about the place. I am her godmother."