Chapter 12
House stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. His flashlight was resting on the countertop, and although it reflected little light upwards, it served its purpose. He turned on the cold water tap; there would be no need for hot, washed his hands and began to splash the chilling liquid on his face.
While Cameron answered the door, House limped into the bathroom as fast as he could to escape the prying eyes of Sam's delivery man. He could barely zip up his pants, but distancing himself from Cameron was helping to settle things down.
He had come so close to making love with Cameron that he ached with disappointment at the delay.
He needed to calm down, they had to eat and most of all, he had to talk to Cameron about everything; his attempt to fake brain cancer, Chase and Foreman, the drug trial and her affair with Chase.
He would stay focused and they would have their talk, and if all went well, perhaps they would finish what they started tonight.
o0o0o
Cameron carried the pizza boxes to the kitchen table and leaned on the counter to steady her nerves. She washed her hands in the kitchen sink and splashed cold water on her face.
She had come so close to making love with House that she ached with disappointment at the delay.
She needed to calm down, they had to eat and most of all, she had to talk to House about everything; his attempt to fake brain cancer, Chase and Foreman, the drug trial and her affair with Chase.
She would stay focused and they would have their talk, and if all went well, perhaps they would finish what they started tonight.
o0o0o
House wrapped his arms around Cameron's shoulders and kissed the side of her neck when he came into the dining room.
"Feeling better …" Cameron asked, looking over her shoulder at House.
"Better than when I headed to the bathroom … yes. Better than I would feel if I was making love with you right now … no."
Cameron smiled at House, knowing exactly what he meant, but simply said, "Our dinner is hot … maybe we should eat …"
Cameron and House sat opposite one another at the candlelit table about to eat pizza from her grandmother's fine china.
"Shall we finish the Chateauneuf-du-Pape and then move on to something else?"
Cameron asked.
"Works for me …" said House, as he opened the pizza boxes. "You never told me what you ordered for us …"
"I ordered your favourite meat-lovers pizza on Sam's recommendation and a half-Hawaiian, half-vegetarian pizza. They're my favourites."
House stopped himself before he made a remark about Cameron's taste in pizza and vowed he would try a slice of each, well maybe half a slice of each; he loved Cameron and he figured that if those were her favourites, he should at least taste the food she loved so much. They ate in silence for a minute, the two consumed with memories of their aborted lovemaking.
"Allison, would you pass the breadsticks please? I haven't had these for years and I used to love them." House said, taking one from the basket in Cameron's hand.
"Sweetheart, your wrist, it looks bruised …" House commented, with concern in his voice.
Damn … the make-up must have come off when I washed my hands in the kitchen just now … what will I tell House … I don't want to lie to him …
"It's nothing Greg, don't worry …" Cameron said, looking down at her plate.
"Allison … look at me … what happened …please tell me …" House pleaded.
Cameron lifted her eyes. I have to tell him sometime …
"I'll tell you Greg, but you have to promise to listen to the whole story and not get mad …"
"I'll promise to try … that's the best I can do …" said House honestly.
"It was Chase. I broke things off with him at work yesterday."
House could feel his blood beginning to boil. Cameron continued.
"After you left to run your errands, we were packing up to go home when I reminded the boys that they should come for dinner at five o'clock. Foreman made a remark about how it would be fun for the three of us to spend some time together away from work and that's when I told them that you would be joining us."
Cameron paused and took a sip of her wine. "Chase got angry and said that there was no way he wanted to have dinner with you … Greg I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you … can we just leave this alone?"
"No we can't Allison. You're not hurting me. Please … go on." House said seriously.
"Chase said I would have to choose; it was either him or you. I told him that we would miss him."
House raised his eyebrows. The wombat must have loved that … "and Foreman?" asked House.
"He refused to come too. It's all because of the brain cancer incident Greg …"
"I know … we'll talk about that later … go on …"
"Foreman left and Chase and I argued. He accused me of using him to make you jealous."
"Is that why you slept with him?" House asked. I have to know …
"I honestly don't now. I was hurt and lonely … I think maybe on a subconscious level I did want to make you jealous so that you would want me again, but when you caught us and didn't react, I thought that you just didn't care." Cameron said sadly.
House was afraid of that. He reached across the table to take her hands in his. "Of course I cared Allison … it broke my heart to see you in the Wombat's arms, but then what right did I have to be jealous after the way I've pushed you away for three years … I thought that I'd lost you for ever."
They smiled softly; the truth began to heal their wounded hearts.
"We both knew it was over, but last night, when I got home from grocery shopping, Chase came to my door with flowers. He wanted to apologize and said that he and Foreman had reconsidered and had decided to accept my dinner invitation."
"Why would they do that … surely they hadn't changed their opinions of me …"
"No, they hadn't. They just felt guilty about my dinner party.
I couldn't accept, knowing how they felt about you and I told Chase that I had made other plans. Chase accused me of turning them down because I wanted a romantic evening alone with you." Cameron said shyly.
"Did you?" asked House quietly.
"I didn't plan it that way, but when everything fell into place, yes, I was happy, and I told Chase … then he got angry … very angry. He asked how I knew that you had feelings for me and I said I knew it the moment we kissed … I felt something special and I was sure that you felt it too." Cameron said, looking at House hopefully.
"I did, Allison … things were never that same for me after that kiss."
Cameron's smile at House's remark turned to a frown, as she thought about what happened next. "That's when Chase kissed me."
"He kissed you … and you got these bruises?" House asked, trying to imagine how that could have happened.
"I told Chase that I didn't want a kiss, but he had me backed into the corner of the kitchen counter. He grabbed my wrists so I couldn't get away and then he kissed me … hard… but I didn't kiss back Greg … I just stood there waiting for him to stop."
House snapped the breadstick in half and rose from his chair.
"Greg … what are you doing … where are you going?" Cameron asked, jumping up from her chair to face House.
"There's a Wombat that needs a serious attitude adjustment from my cane and I'm going to deliver it … right now!" House headed to the door.
"House … House … Greg … please … please don't leave me …" cried Cameron.
House turned at the sound of his first name and stopped as he was reaching for the doorknob. He walked back to Cameron and nestled her in his arms.
"I have to go, don't you see … I have to protect you Allison … I love you …"
They both looked at each other in stunned silence … House, not believing what he said … Cameron, not believing what she heard.
"You love me?" Cameron asked, her eyes sparking once more.
"I love you more than you'll ever know … I can't believe that it took me this long to tell you." House smiled, shaking his head. "But you have to let me help you, you could have been hurt."
"I took care of Chase and I don't believe he'd ever hurt me; he left as soon as I told him to go. Please, leave it alone Greg …"
"All right, but you have to promise that you'll tell me if you have any problems with him …" House said, looking intently at Cameron.
"I promise … come sit down with me … let's enjoy our dinner …"
o0o0o
"Greg, I have your pie … the ice cream is a little soft, I hope that's okay." said Cameron, setting House's dessert in front of him.
"I can't believe you made this yourself … " House dug in eagerly, "Oh Allison, this is the best apple pie I've ever tasted … and I'm not just saying that because I love you … "
I just said it again …. its not so hard … in fact it feels pretty damn good. Look at how happy I've made Cameron … finally, I've done something right.
House knew it was his turn to speak; to confess, to explain and to apologize.
"Allison, I have to tell you something." House began nervously.
"Yes Greg …" Cameron replied, unsure of where this conversation would go.
"I want to apologize for putting you through hell when you thought that I had brain cancer. The three of you, and I'm talking about you as my employee and as my fellow, had no right to interfere in my private business."
"I know Greg, but we were just trying to help."
"I understand that, I really do, but you were still wrong … and I was wrong too … I shouldn't have let it go on as long as I did. It was cruel of me to do that to you; who knows, maybe I was trying to get your attention too."
"But I'm going to tell you something that I haven't told anyone, not even Wilson. I didn't apply for the drug trial just to get high and I know that's what you all think. I've had my problems with the Vicodin, I admit it, but I'm also missing a chunk of my thigh and I'm in constant pain. None of you know what it's like to never have a single waking moment when you're not in agony …none of you.
I studied this drug carefully. I thought that it might manage my pain better so that I could kick this Vicodin habit, once and for all. When we're back at work, I'll show you all my research."
"But the risks Greg …" said Cameron, trying to absorb everything House was saying.
"It was a risk I was willing to take to get some control over my life again."
"I knew that there had to be more to it …" Cameron said thoughtfully. "Aren't you going to tell the others?"
"I'll probably tell Wilson, he's been a good friend to me, but I won't be discussing it with Chase and Foreman. They can think what they like, I don't care. I need you to promise me that you won't tell them."
"I promise Greg, but it makes me sad that they don't understand you."
"I know … but that's something they're going to have to deal with on their own. But you were different; I know that you were angry and disappointed in me too, but yet you were still willing to forgive me and invite me to your home for dinner, why Allison?"
"It's very simple Greg … I love you … I always have and I always will…"
o0o0o
"You know it's ironic. When Wilson was giving me hell a couple of weeks ago about pushing away everyone that cared about me, he urged me to reach out to people and start with something simple like having pizza with a friend."
House put his arm around Cameron, as they snuggled on the sofa.
"I can't help but think that having pizza here with you tonight, has changed my life forever. Could Wilson have been right?"
Cameron laughed. "Well Wilson is a pretty smart guy, though not as smart as you of course … "
"Of course …" agreed House.
"But I know what you mean … I feel the same way ..." Cameron said, caressing House's cheek with her hand.
House was both exhilarated and exhausted from the emotion of the evening, but there was so much more that he needed to accomplish. He had to keep his promise to Millie, and to himself; he had to show Cameron just how much he loved her.
"You know …we've solved enough of the world's problems for tonight. I think we should have some fun …" said House with a mischievous grin on his face.
"I'd love to have some fun with you Greg, what do you have in mind?"
"Well for starters, you could try on your other lipstick and see what's in the little jar… you'll be surprised, I think."
Cameron slipped away and returned to House, this time wearing a hot pink glossy lipstick. "What do you think …" Cameron asked puckering her lips for House to admire. "I finished thinking for this evening, I'm just going to feel …" House said, giving her a gentle kiss.
"Now what do you think is in the jar?" Cameron removed the lid and looked at the sparkling powder. "Is this eye shadow Greg?"
"Well you could put it on your eyes, but it's body glitter. The girls showed me how it works. May I?" Cameron nodded.
House slid the vee of Cameron's dress open to expose her delicate clavicle. He dipped his finger into the pot and dusted her skin with the glittery powder, slipping down to her breasts, leaving a shimmering trail in his wake. House stopped when he saw Cameron grinning at him.
"What … hey, you knew all along that this was body glitter … why did you let me prattle on?" House smirked.
"Because I was enjoying your explanation and if you think that I'm going to discourage you from touching my breasts, you're in for a big surprise …" Cameron said boldly, leaving House speechless … for a moment.
"Okay … well for that, Miss Smarty-pants, you're just going to have to dance with me."
"Greg, I'd love to, but we don't have any power remember … we don't have any music …"
"I beg to differ … open your pink egg." Cameron reached into her basket and opened the pink egg.
"Gummy Bunnies?" asked a puzzled Cameron.
"Gummy Bunnies, oh shit, I forgot, there's two pink eggs, try the other one."
House said, annoyed at his carelessness.
Cameron twisted the other egg open and found a bright pink iPod shuffle. "This is wonderful; I was just about to treat myself to one of these. Thank you."
"And it matches your new lipstick and there's more." House said, handing the ear buds to Cameron. "It's all charged and I've loaded some special songs on there for you."
"Wait until Millie sees this …" exclaimed Cameron.
"She already knows, she made me tell her …" laughed House. "but she questioned my motives … she thought that I was buying you gifts that I would enjoy …"
Cameron laughed. "Does that mean that I'm going to find a pair of thong panties in the third egg?"
"Don't think I didn't consider it." retorted House.
House had spent the morning in downtown Princeton, going from store to store in the driving rain. When he left Jordan's on Friday night he still needed two gifts, so Anne left a slit in the cellophane so that House could slide in the last eggs when he finished his shopping. When he got home he loaded a dozen of the most romantic songs that he could find for Cameron, hoping to try and re-kindle her feelings for him and piss off Chase at the same time.
"Come … come dance with me." House rose to his feet and held out his hand for Cameron.
"But how are we going to …" Cameron began as they walked to the centre of the living room.
"Simple, we'll each take a bud. " House tucked one earphone in Cameron' right ear and took the left bud for himself. He drew Cameron into his arms, holding her close to steady his balance and pressed the play button.
House's choice of song, Don't Know Much, could not have been more fortuitous.
Look at this face, I know the years are showing,
Look at this life, I still don't know where it's going,
I don't know much, but I know I love you,
That may be all I need to know.
Cameron's eyes welled up with tears. She leaned against his chest, connected to her love like Lady and the Tramp, joined by a set of ear buds instead of a strand of spaghetti.
That song could have been written about us. House came here tonight with this gift for me, willing to lay all of his feelings on the line, even though he thought I was still with Chase.
Look at these eyes, they've never seen what matters,
Look at these dreams, so beaten and so battered,
I don't know much, but I know I love you,
And that may be all I need to know.
House could not believe how lucky he was to be holding Cameron in his arms and to know that she loved him as much as he loved her.
That sounds like me; never seeing what mattered. How could I have wasted all that time … I can never get it back.
So many questions, still left unanswered,
So much I've never broken through,
And when I feel you near me,
Sometimes I see so clearly,
The only truth I've ever known, is me and you.
Cameron thought about their talk and the secrets they shared. The truth had broken down the walls they'd built between them. She wept when she heard the last line of the verse.
The only truth I've ever known, is me and you. That was the story of her love for House.
Look at this man, so blessed with inspiration,
Look at this soul, still searching for salvation,
I don't know much, but I know I love you,
That may be, all I need to know
House knew that he would never be afraid of love again. Cameron was his salvation, his soul. For the first time in his life, he was content.
I don't know much, but I know I love you,
That may be, all I need to know
When the song finished House shut off the iPod and removed their ear phones.
Cameron's gazed into House's azure eyes.
There was no need for words.
House picked his cane.
Cameron blew out the candles.
And the two lovers walked hand in hand down the hall to the bedroom.
tbc …