Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

I'm out of excuses. I'm just a really lazy person. That's all I'm going to say about why I haven't updated.

It was a week before Valentine's Day. Everyone was at lunch except for Madam Pomfrey and her patients. She sat in her office filling out some papers when she heard a slight moan. She looked quickly into the hospital ward. James was stirring in his bed. Madam Pomfrey walked over to him and put a hand gently on his shoulder. Suddenly he shot up in his bed with a shriek and turned his wide open eyes towards the witch. She let out a terrified scream. There were no whites in his eyes and no pupils – they were scarlet in color. An image of a snake coming out of a skull's mouth flashed through Madam Pomfrey's mind as she fainted away and James fell back in his bed, writhing and convulsing.

"Remus!" Jenna giggled as he tickled her mercilessly. "Stop, stop!!"

Ylan and Lily watched the two amusedly. Jenna and Remus were both single now and their friends were wondering if they would get together.

Lily and Sirius had told everyone about James, and the group was now on their way to the hospital wing. They pushed open the doors and strode inside. Oddly, the room was empty, save for several patients in their beds.

"Madam Pomfrey?" Lily called. No answer.

"That's weird," Sirius shrugged and began walking to where he knew James was lying. The others followed. As he made his way up to the bed, Sirius' foot caught on something and he fell with a yelp.

"Haha, nice Sirius. Real smooth!" Jenna grinned.

"Oh my God!" Ylan suddenly shrieked. She pointed to something on the ground, the thing which Sirius had tripped over. It was a hand, sticking out from behind the curtain.

"It's Madam Pomfrey!" said Remus, checking the other side of the curtain. He knelt down. "She's unconscious. Come on, help me get her on a bed." He and Sirius lifted her and put her down on the cot next to James'.

"I wonder what happened," Lily murmured, kneeling down where the nurse had just been lying.

"Dunno," said Jenna.

"You guys…" Lily suddenly said, sounding scared.

"What?"

"James…he's not in his bed."

"What do you mean?" Everyone crowded around the bed, staring at the empty white pillow.

"Where could he be?" wondered Ylan. A noise from the other side of the room made them turn. James was standing with his wand out, pointed at Lily.

"Don't move," he said coldly. He flicked his wrist and Lily flew toward him with a shriek. He wrapped an arm around her neck and turned her to face him. She stared into his blood red eyes.

"James," she whispered, horrified. He tightened his grip around her and she let out a whimper. James grinned scarily and looked back at the group. His lips parted as he began to form the deadly words.

"James, don't!" Sirius shouted, knowing what was coming. "Think about what you're doing. It's us! Sirius, Remus, Ylan, Jenna! We're your friends."

James paused for a second. He turned his eyes to Lily and she looked right back at him. They stood in silence for a few moments and James' body began to shake slightly. Lily could see his mouth trying to form words but no sound came out.

"Help," he suddenly whispered. Lily was the only one who heard him. "Help me. Please." He began shaking more and more uncontrollably. He dropped Lily and his wand and wrapped his arms around himself. "Help me, help. Please, help me," he repeated over and over. He slid down against the wall and fell down in fetal position. His shakes turned into convulsions and screams. Suddenly he straightened out completely and a black shadow appeared to fly out of him. He stopped moving now and lay still on the ground. It was all silent now.

Lily got up cautiously as the other four walked slowly over. They crouched over James.

"James?" Lily said quietly. He opened his eyes. They were hazel again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sounding pained. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry. Can you walk?" James nodded and started to get shakily on his feet. He fell back into Lily's arms. She stumbled a little under his weight and Sirius and Remus rushed forward to help. Together, the three of them managed to get James back to bed.

"We should leave them alone," Sirius whispered to Remus. They beckoned to Ylan and Jenna and the four of them left the room.

Lily sat down on the edge of James' bed.

"James," she started, eyes already beginning to water. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault that any of this happened. I should have stayed to help you. Or at least –"

"Or at least what?" he asked, breathing heavily and getting comfortable in the bed. "There's nothing you could have done. If you had stayed to fight it's likely we'd both be dead right now and nobody would know where Voldemort's lair is. Lily, listen to me. This wasn't your fault."

"James, think about it!" Lily exclaimed. "If I hadn't agreed to go to find Voldemort, they wouldn't have made you go with me. They could have used someone else, not from Hogwarts. And someone other than me would have been a way better help back there. If someone else had gone, you wouldn't be lying here right now!"

James lay silent for a moment. Then he put his hand over Lily's. She jerked it away and turned her head so he wouldn't see her crying.

"Lily. They didn't make me go," he said softly. "I volunteered. I wanted to be there to personally make sure nothing happened to you. I knew you would offer to go yourself. That's who you are; you wouldn't want to put someone else's life in danger because of you. I wanted to be there myself to watch over you. To protect you."

Lily turned her glistening eyes to his.

"What?" she whispered. "James, why would you do that? Look at what happened to you!" He tried to speak but she cut him off. "I know what that mark means, don't pretend it's nothing big. You could be dead soon. Do you even realize what kind of danger you put yourself through, just because you have some sort of crush on me? You don't know what it will do to me if you die, do you? Especially since, all these years, I've been treating you like crap. Treating you worse than you ever deserved. And after that, for some reason, you still risk your life for me. If you die now, because of this…I'll never forgive myself. I mean, now I think - no, I know, finally – that without you, I don't know what I'd do. And I can't believe it took me so long to realize that. I love you, James. I don't know how I'd survive without you. I know how ridiculous I sound right now. I'm supposed to hate you, right?" At this point Lily broke off, making a sound somewhere between a cry and a laugh. She wiped her eyes and struggled to continue. "The thing is though, James," she went on, "I don't hate you. I love you. And I have loved you. For so, so long. I don't know why I didn't see it. Or why I was too stubborn to admit it. But I wanted you to know. Even though you can't possibly love me back…I just wanted you to know."

She sat silently for a minute, watching James' chest rise and fall. Then she laughed. "You know, I just heard that all in my head. My little novel I just told you. It sounds so dumb. And it's all too late. God, how stupid do I get? If I had told you all this earlier then, maybe, everything would have worked out differently. And you would have known all this, back when you still wanted to be with me. But now that you're almost dead because of me, it's too little too late, isn't it? Yeah." She got up to leave but suddenly felt a tug on her hand. She turned back around to see James, grinning up at her.

"You think I don't love you, Lily? You think I just have a mild crush on you? Maybe you're right. I mean, I do tend to risk my neck for girls I just like a little bit. I do tend to lie silently on my little hospital bed and listen to them rant on about stupid stuff like that it's their fault I'm here. For girls I have just a crush on, I always try to keep them talking, just so I can listen to their voice. For girls I just have a crush on, I always pick fights with them, just so they will be with me for as long as the fight lasts, just so I can feel the touch of their hand, even if it's to slap me. I think you're right Lily. I just have a crush on you."

Lily smiled.

"Come on, how do you even think that?" James asked incredulously. "I don't love you? Yeah, and Sirius is a virgin."

Lily laughed and hesitantly laid herself down next to James.

"So that must mean you love me a lot then," she grinned.

James brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Oh yeah," he whispered and leaned in to give her the best kiss either of them had ever had.