Chapter 4: Comfortable
The next couple of days I avoided everyone at all costs! I didn't want to talk to them about what happened. I didn't want to have to see all there pitiful gazes. I didn't want to here the "I'm sorry's" or the "Oh My God... are you okay". Of course I'm not okay. Why would I want to here them ask me that, knowing half of them probably don't even care. There just happy it wasn't them. They could care less that it was me.
I couldn't stay in that house for long and I knew it. I would eventually have to get back to school. Back to the life I hadn't been a part of in a long time. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Especially after the "smooth" transition I had already been put through.
I think about that night every second of every day. How could I have been so happy to see him and kiss him again and then be so upset and distraught when he kissed me again. I don't get it. I couldn't have been more confused about it if I tried. But I had to deal with it sooner or later. After all... I was going to be seeing him everyday at school.
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The alarm buzzed for almost 5 minutes before I finally rolled my lazy ass out of bed to cut it off. "Back to life" I mumbled to myself and walked towards my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and stared at the person looking back at me. What happened to her? 2 months ago I was happy and full of life. I loved school and my friends. And I was madly in love with Nathan. Now I'm so depressed and scared of life. I don't want to go back to school and see all those people I used to call friends. I don't want to see Nathan and relive that night at Brookes. I don't really know what I want. I do know that I want to get back to my normal life. The one where I'm happy and the one where I don't have flashbacks about the hell I went through. That's all I want.
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8 o'clock. That's what the clock read as I finally made my way into the school. I sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes before I finally got the guts up to actually walk through those double doors. I felt so cold when I walked in. It looked exactly like I did the last time I saw it. There was a couple of people in the halls but everyone else was in class. I sighed and took a deep breath before walking into the office.
"Hi Mrs. Cooper" She looked at me and smiled widely. I tried to flash her a small smile but I just couldn't make my face do it.
"Hey Peyton... It's so nice to have you back" She made her way up to the counter and handed me my new schedule.
The new semester had started 2 weeks ago. I hadn't missed to much so that was good. But then again it wasn't. I would rather have massive amounts of school work to consume myself with versus having nothing to take my mind off of everything going on.
I made my way down the isolated hallway towards my first period Lit class. I knew the teacher, I had had her before, and I knew that was only going to make it tougher. But if there was one way to get over this, this was it. Taking everything as it's thrown at me. That includes dealing with the looks, the fake smiles, the fake "I'm so sorry, and I'm glad you're okay", Dealing with teachers, Dealing with old friends, and mostly... dealing with Nathan.
I walked into Mrs. Vick's class and felt all the kids staring holes through me as I walked towards her desk. She had her nose buried in papers. Homework none-the-less. I stood there for a couple of seconds before she finally acknowledged that I was there. She looked at me and smiled. I could tell it wasn't fake. She was the nicest teacher here and I loved her for that. She was always so cool to me and everytime I need help with anything she was there. "Hey Peyton. It's good to have you back." I smiled a little. A real smile. Nothing fake or forced. Just a genuine smile. "I'm glad to be back" Okay, so maybe that wasn't all true. But I was definitely glad to be back in her class. "Well, right now we're working on the 'Scarlet Letter', so here's your book. Read chapters 1-8 for now, and do the worksheet that's with it. You'll just have to read 9-14 when you get home." "Thank's" I flashed another smile before taking my seat next to Tim.
I read all 8 chapters and finished the worksheet in no time. Class was finished soon after and I made my way to my next class. Algebra 2. What a fun class this was going to be. I never was any good at math, but who knows, maybe this time it would be different. I walked into Mr. Parkers class and took my seat. Lucky me I had to sit next to chipper Bevin. I loved that girl to death but she could drive anyone batty. I'm usually a chipper, happy, person, but Bevin, She was something else. She was always talking and laughing. Sometimes she talked a little to much.
He passed out worksheets and made his way back up towards his desk. He didn't explain how to do the work. As a matter of fact he didn't say a word. I looked down at the paper and almost had a heart attack. Why does math have to have letters in it. Isn't that what we have lit for. I shook my head and picked up my pencil. I may not have known what I was doing but if he caught me not doing my work that was it. He was the meanest and strictest teacher here. He didn't care what your excuse for not doing your work was. His point-of-view was... if you're not working, you're wasting his time. And wasting his time wasn't an option. I'd just have to find someone to catch me up later.
My next class was History. Not exactly my favorite class, but hey, it was definitely better than Algebra 2 with Parker. Mrs. Cornelius was my teacher. She was new this year. She greeted me with a smile as I walked into her class. She told me to stand by her desk until she assigned me a seat. I did as I was told and waited for her to come back in. When the bell rang she walked over towards me and smiled. "Now lets see where you will be able to sit." She began looking around the class trying to find an open seat. I followed her gaze as it fell upon the one person I didn't want to have a class with. Nathan. And she of course sits me right in front of him. I was the third row over 4 seats back. I was happy about not being in the front, but the fact that it was right in front of Nathan tweaked me a little. But I had to deal with it. After all, he is still my boyfriend .
Finally class was over and I was on my way to my last class of the day. Hoping and praying that Nathan wouldn't be in there to. No such luck. He was in my Ecology class to. I knew it was going to be an easy class when I watched Mr. Browning walk in. He was the easiest teacher out here that taught Ecology. As long as you could actually listen you would pass. He went over tests right before you took them... and you never had homework. That was definitely a plus. Then there was Nathan. The last 2 classes of the day and I had them with him. I guess this is where I finally have to talk to him.
He walked in right behind me and say down. I looked over at him and he flashed me his trademark smile. I couldn't help but smile back. It was like nothing had ever happened and everything was still perfect. I admire that aspect about him. I could be such a bitch at times and he would brush it off and act as if nothing had happened. I on the other hand could hold a grudge forever. He was teaching me to be more forgiving in life. He was making me a better person and I loved him for it. I couldn't stay away from him and I know it.
Class was done and over with in no time. We didn't do any class work. He let us do whatever we wanted. I drew and listened to my Ipod. I caught Nathan snoring a couple of times so we all know what he was doing. I put my stuff in my bag before walking out of class. Nathan ran up to me right as I reached my locker.
"Hey beautiful... It's good to see you back in school"
"Yea... I guess I couldn't stay away to long" I turned my attention back to my locker and began putting my books up.
"What are you doing right now?"
I turned around and looked at him with a slight grin. "Nothing... as of now."
"Good"
I smiled and laughed a little. "Good... how is that good?"
"Because I want to hang out with my girlfriend today." He wrapped his arms around my waist and I immediately pulled back.
"I don't think that's such a good Nate."
He gave me a sad look and I completely understood. I was still his girlfriend, but I just couldn't stand to be around him. I love him... I really do, it's just every time he touches me, or gets close to me my mind flashes back to those horrible 2 months and I can't seem to shake it. I tried it just didn't work. I guess the only think I can do is give it time and hope I can shake these memories from my head.
"Ok... I understand." He walked away and I sighed to myself.
"Nate" I yelled after him. He turned around as I shut my locker and ran towards him. "I'm sorry"
He stepped closer to me and put his hand on my cheek. I flinched slightly but didn't make him move it.
"Don't be... I can't even imagine what you've been through these past couple of months, and I can't even imagine how it must feel to be free from them but not free from them at the same time."
My eyes began welling with tears with each word he spoke. He loved me so much, but I just couldn't be with him. I could talk to him yea, but I couldn't be with him like I was before. I thought it would be easier getting back to life but I was beginning to be proved wrong.
"Thank you, Nate. For understanding and not getting pissed off about it, or pushing me into something I'm not comfortable with just yet."
I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around him as I shook the memories out of my head. I was going to hug him and I wasn't going to let some stupid memory stop me. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist as I let my body sink into his.
"You don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for."
I pulled away and gave him a small smile as he returned the gesture. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the school. For the first time since I've been back I was finally beginning to feel a little more comfortable with him. But how long would it last? I didn't care, and I wasn't going to think about it. All I cared about was how I felt at this very moment.
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There is your next update! And I hope you enjoyed it! And now I would like to give thanks to all the people who reviewed my story.
First off Major Thanks to Monica (cabot007) My most faithful reader. Thanks for reading and reviewing to every chapter. Your absolutely amazing. You give great feedback and I love you for it.
Thanks to Leytonunit... You have also been great with feedback on a couple of my storys. I am so happy that you like this story.
TuggyAngel08... another faithful reader to my storys! I love your feedback... I'm so happy that you keep reviewing to my storys and that you enjoy them. The more feedback the better.
Kelly.Louise... A new reader... glad you are enjoying this story... Thanks for reviewing.
Silver Shadows92... Another new reader. I'm so glad you like my story b/c I have read a couple of yours and I loved them. Thank you so much for reviewing to my story... I hope you keep reading.
LuvtheOC09... Thank you for reviewing to my storys... I have noticed that you have read a couple of my other storys and you seem to enjoy them... Just to let you know... Someone That You're With... will most definetly have Leyton goodness... STAT... lol
Mattuf1... I'm soooo glad that you are enjoying my story. Monica tipped me off to you're storys and I absolutely love them. You're an amazing writer and the fact that you like my story is AWESOME! Like I said to silver shadows having another writer enjoy my storys is always great.
Ilysm... the fact that you joined FF just to put my story on alert is amazing. I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story... Thanks for the awesome feedback.
To anyone else that I might have missed or for those of you who read but don't review... Thanks for reading and I love all of you guys... I hope you keep reading and reviewing.
The more reviews I get the more I want to keep on writing so keep it up... I am most definitely posting another chapter tonight. I will be working on it as soon as this is posted! I hope you enjoyed it!
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