Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
A/N: So I gave up on this for a while because the idea didn't seem that good anymore. But then I got another review from Aracalien out of nowhere and decided to give it another shot. We do, after all, need more stories about the British show.
The door is closed quickly after Michael. The camera swings around and looks at Jim, Pam and Dawn. "Oh let me get that for you." says Jim, jogging over. He smiles at the camera and opens the door. The image bounces with the cameraman as they quickly run down the stairs. As they reach the parking lot, there is a clear shot of Michael getting in his car. The tyres screech slightly as he speeds out of the lot and onto the road.
INTERVIEW WITH JIM, PAM AND DAWN
"So Michael's gone out to get us some cake which is really tea, and he's told us he'll be quick so we're expecting him back in," Jim looks at his watch. "Oo… about an hour."
"Meanwhile we thought we might show Dawn around and teach her the Do's and Don't's of the office." Adds Pam happily.
CUT TO THE OFFICE WHERE JIM AND PAM ARE SHOWING DAWN PROFESSIONALLY AROUND THE ROOM
Jim and Pam reach Dwight's desk. "This is Dwight's desk," Pam points out to Dawn with one hand behind her back like a tour-guide. They notice the large elven sword resting next to the computer. She reaches out, picks it up and shows it to Dawn. "Do take this." She says, walking back to her desk and hiding it behind the draw. Dawn smirks.
"I hope you're taking this seriously Dawn. You need these tips if you want to make it out of this place alive today." says Jim in disapproval.
Dawn's face straightens and she clears her throat. "Oh sorry," she says seriously. She looks back at Dwight's desk and spots a stapler with the name "DwightS" covering every inch of the surface. She picks it up and drops it lightly in a coffee mug nearby, making brown liquid splash over the phone. She looks back at Jim for approval.
Pam starts giggling silently.
He nods. "You're learning quickly."
CUT TO LOCAL SUPERMARKET.
Michael is roaming the aisles. His back is hunched and the collar of his coat is facing up, trying to hide his face. When he spots the camera at the end of the aisle he quickly walks down to the opposite end, glancing back once before disappearing down another aisle.
The camera manages to get a shot of him with newly found glasses (with the tag still on them), through another aisle with packets of chips framing the image.
BACK TO THE OFFICE
Dawn, Pam and Jim are in the kitchen having a cup of coffee. "He did not." Jim was saying in disbelief and shaking his head.
"He did!" Dawn replies over Pam's giggles. "And Tim's just standing there, horrified that he might try to make a move on him or something."
Pam and Jim burst out laughing. Suddenly Dwight walks into the kitchen and stops dead when he sees Dawn. Dawn shifts uncomfortably when he doesn't speak. "Dwight this is Dawn… She's English." Jim says, thinking they should be introduced.
Dwight turns to face Jim. "Duh," he says. "Of course she's English. Look at her huge forehead."
"Umm… Hello? Right here." Dawn says, waving to make sure that he knows she's still in the room.
INTERVIEW WITH DWIGHT
"No. I do not trust the English. Why? Well let's just say I'm glad I remembered Anon, my Elf-made sword today."
BACK TO THE OFFICE
Jim is behind Pam's desk again. They have Dwight's chair and are making adjustments to the hinges. Dawn comes out of the ladies' and comes over to join them. "Shouldn't you take off just one wheel? That way he can't see that you've mucked about with it?" Dawn asks them.
Jim and Pam look at each other. After a moment of thinking, Jim says, "Your right. Pam what's wrong with you?" he says sarcastically. Pam pokes her tongue at him.
"And you can unscrew the back completely. It just rests on top of that pole thing." Dawn continues.
"You've done this before, haven't you?" Pam asks her curiously and smiles.
"Maybe once or twice," Dawn says, grinning innocently at them.
INTERVIEW WITH DAWN
"Tim and I did some practical jokes in our day… I'm sure he won't mind if we pass on our knowledge. Right?"
MEANWHILE DOWN AT THE WAREHOUSE
Roy and Lee have hit it off. Soon they're sitting outside with the rest of the workers, enjoying a quiet beer.
"So you're living in Florida?" Roy asks. Lee nods coolly. "You buy a house yet or anything?"
"Nah mate. We're actually staying wif me sister. It's a pretty good set up. We don't pay any rent or anything and Dawn can stay home 'n look after me niece. I just find the odd job every now and then. Nothin' too big. Don't need it, y'know?" Lee replies. Roy nods in understanding.
"My mom lives up in Florida." Roy tells him.
"Yeah? You should give it a go mate." He says, giving him a friendly slap on the back. "It's great. Saves you a load of money. And Dawn loves it."
"Yeah... Maybe," Roy says, nodding in agreement and looking away thoughtfully.
LOCAL SUPERMARKET
Michael is at the check-out and has just paid for the tea. He turns to leave and doesn't realise that he is still wearing the store sunglasses. "Excuse me sir. You're going to have to come back here with me," says a tall security guard as the alarms go off.
"Oh. Oh no! I didn't steal anything!" Michael says starting to panic. "I just paid for it then? You know don't you?" he calls after the young teenager who had just served him. He stares and shakes his head. Another guard immediately appears and they take Michael into a back room, with him protesting the whole way.
THE OFFICE
Dawn and Jim have lifted up Dwight's chair, finding it impossible to wheel it back behind his desk (the wheels will fall off) and taken it back to his desk. Pam is in the kitchen making popcorn as an excuse to make sure they know when Dwight gets out of the bathroom.
As Dawn and Jim put the chair down, the rod holding up the chair's seat collapses and Jim saves it from falling into itself just in time. Dawn starts giggling and bends down to help Jim put it back together. "No it's alright. Go help Pam. Dwight should be out any minute, even with the extra…" He stops. "Never mind." Dawn puts her hand over her mouth, laughing and heads over to the kitchen.
Pam hears something flush in the men's bathroom and motions for Dawn to come quick. She hurries and enters the kitchen, joining Pam's side just before the bathroom door opens. Dwight walks out wiping his hands on his shirt. "Hey Dwight," Pam says enthusiastically. Dawn finds herself unable to talk and instead, looks at how wet he had just made his work shirt.
"Hello Pam," he says in his usual sinister voice. He turns to Dawn, who is still staring at him with wide eyes. "Dawn." He says in a slightly darker voice.
Pam nudges her and she wakes up. "Hi Dwight." She says, trying to smile but only managing an uncomfortable grimace. Pam looks behind Dawn and finds Jim still working on the chair (a wheel had just fallen off).
"Did you want some popcorn? We're just about to watch Dawn's documentary." Pam says, holding out her bowl of popcorn. He brings his hands out of his pockets and slowly, with great meaning, grabs a large handful of popcorn, rustles his fingers around and finally slides a large amount into his mouth, all the while not looking away from Dawn.
Pam looks behind Dawn again and finds Jim sitting at his desk pretending to work. Dwight's chair is sitting perfectly straight, at its desk. "Okay… um Dawn I was just gonna show you that thing before we head into the conference room." She says looking back at Dawn.
"Yeah sure… Let's go." She says smiling at her. "Nice to… talk to you Dwight," She calls after him and they head rather quickly back behind Pam's desk. Pam sits down at her chair and hands Dawn some popcorn. She looks at it for a second then shakes her head.
Dwight heads back to his desk and sits down. As soon as his weight touches the seat, the chair collapses underneath him, forcing his legs to fly into the air. Pam and Dawn immediately burst out laughing. Jim leans over to get a better look at Dwight. "Oh… Dwight don't you know you have to check your chair weekly?" He asks casually.
"Very funny Jim," Dwight tells him, glaring as he straightens up and tries to get out of the pile of chair remains.
"No I mean it Dwight. Personally I check twice. You can never be too careful."
"I thought the cleaners checked." He said. Dawn's mouth drops and Pam's head hits the desk, crying.
"Definitely not, my friend," he says, shaking his head and unable to hold back an amused grin.
The door suddenly opens and Michael finally walks in, looking very disgruntled and upset. He walks up to Pam who has to quickly wipe her eyes and compose herself. "Hi Michael," she says still smiling.
"Hey Pam," he says in that downtrodden tone he gets. "Are there any messages?"
"Umm… yes one from Corporate." She says handing it to him.
He nods, then notices Dawn and remembers his act. "How many times have I told you Pam? There's a special file for messages from Corporate…" He begins half-heartedly but Dawn interrupts.
"Is it… the rubbish bin?" She asks, smiling.
Michael sighs exasperated. Nothing was going right today. "Yes." He says angrily, not looking at Dawn and not noticing Pam and Jim's stares. "How did you know?"
She shrugs. "Lucky guess I think." She says, still grinning. Jim and Pam exchange impressed looks.
"Great." He mutters under his breath and heads towards his office.
"Um… Michael? Did you get the… cake?" Pam calls after him. He stops, very annoyed, and plonks a plastic bag on her counter then heads back to his office. Pam checks it. "This is tea. We have tea."
"Dwight what are you doing? Get up. You're supposed to be working!" he says, getting distracted and annoyed at Dwight.
"Michael?"
"No we don't. I lied." he calls back, not turning around and getting inside his office before anymore questions were asked.
INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL
"To tell you the truth, I haven't really talked to Dawn yet. Not really sure what I think about her but I get the impression that she's not much fun."
As he speaks it cuts to Dawn teaching Jim and Pam the exact steps for gluing all of Dwight's things to the desk.
"Like her ruining that perfectly good joke. Ugh. That's just rude."
A/N: Alright so there's the next chapter. The rubbish bin joke is in the pilot of both versions of the show and the French one as well! I found the video the other day! It's true! He crumples up a paper the French Pam gives him and throws it in the bin! SOO cool! The French Jim isn't as hot though... okay I'm rambling. Hope ya'll like it. I've got a few ideas for the next chapter but nothing for sure so… sorry if it takes a while. And don't forget to… REVIEW!