Okay, so I've decided to carry on with this story. But I really think this is gonna get somewhere: ) umm…this is drabble-ish, my first attempt at it, so if I stink, let me know! Okay, so you know the drill right? I write, I post, you read, you review, I write some more, and I post some more. Easy right? D Okay, vwalla! (or however you spell it!)

Song: 'Still'-Brian McKnight. Slightly revised to fit the characters' storyline. Listen to the song, it's amazingg.

--x--

He listened to that message over and over. The words being spoken on the other end stinging him somewhere so deep; he had to hold a fierce grip on the phone to keep his composure.

'Tony and I are getting married…'

They stung. Even when he thought they shouldn't.

He thought he left her when he left Chicago. He thought that it was all over. All the memories, the feelings, the pain…he was sure he left all of it when he got on that plane almost two years ago.

But nothing was ever over when it came to Neela. She would always thrive in his heart, no matter how much he tried to forget her. Because if he could forget about her, do you really think that he would choose not to?

But they couldn't work. There were too many painful memories. Too much damage done to the other. Too many words left unsaid. Too many wounds ripped open by the other for anything to ever work.

Michael, Gates, Katey, even his too often one-night stands.

It couldn't work.

And yet he still dreamt about her every night. Thought about her everyday.

He still wanted her.

Funny when you stop and think
time's goes faster then you blink.
Nothing's ever like it was,
but girl we had a special thing.
All the happiness it brang…
had to be more than enough.

Rain began to pour down on him as he walked-yes, walked-home to his apartment. He stuffed his phone into his pocket, and he never stopped thinking about her beautiful face. Her eyes…he could never forget her eyes. So deep and pure, the eyes he often lost himself into.

He used to think that learning to walk again would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do.

But no. Not today.

The hardest thing to do these days?

Remembering her.

Thunder rolled through the sky. The rain drenched him to the bone, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered without her.

I know it's hard to believe:
You're still the biggest part of me...
All I'm living for.

He felt hot tears roll down his face in contrast to the cold rain from above. The rain would hide his tears. His Neela…his beautiful and precious Neela…was marrying Tony Gates. This was the final goodbye. The final answer.

He'd lost her. Forever.

And she didn't even know how much he loved her. She didn't know how much he wanted-needed-her. His roomie. His best friend.

The girl of his dreams. His heart.

His everything.

His black leather coat was now dripping with water. His backpack was stained with rain. Lightning struck the sky, causing him to look up. The stars, even in this thunderstorm, glistened beyond the clouds.

And he saw her eyes in them.

I still think about you.
I still dream about you.
I still want you,
and need you by my side.
I'm still mad about you.
All I ever wanted was you.
You're still the one…

Still the one.

Tears. Spilling.

Glistening off his lashes…rolling down his cheeks.

He loved her. He never stopped loving her.

He felt a warm, soft wind blow over him. He let his gaze leave her eyes above, and continued walking.

He felt the beat in his chest grow numb. The same feeling when she left. The same feeling when he left.

Walking. It hurt.

And it wasn't because of the prosthetics.

He was walking too far from her. Walking too far from his heart, where she held in her own.

It hurt to breathe. To think. To live.

It's hard to breathe when we're apart.
You're like sunshine in my heart.
I keep you here inside;
you've been everything to me.
You've been and always will be,

the apple of my eye.

He'd dated since he'd come home. But he could never find a girl who could do what she did to him. Could never find the girl to steal his heart. She was the only one.

He'd always find something wrong with the girl he dated.

Neela…was his only one.

And it killed him how it took until now to realize it.

He ran a hand to his face, wiping the tears from his eyes, only to make more room… for more tears.

It bewildered him how he never went home to her when he found out about her accident, hell even her suicidal depression. His beautiful Neela….attempting suicide over him. And he didn't go home to her. The guilt was almost enough to make him want to jump in front of another semi.

Never returning her phone calls…never replying to her letters, words scripted from her delicate fingers…words spoken from her soft lips…

He never returned any of them.

And I know it's hard to believe:
you're still the biggest part of me…
all I'm living for.
I still think about you.
I still dream about you.
I still want you,
and need you by my side.
I'm still mad about you.
All I ever wanted was you…
you're still the one…

Still the one.

If guilt hurt, he couldn't imagine how rejection felt.

He couldn't imagine how many tears she had shed over him. It killed him inside to think that he'd been the one that had caused her pain. Even if she'd caused him pain, at least she was still his friend.

He'd sent the message to her that he wanted nothing to do with her. Maybe even a message that he hated her.

Which was far from the truth. Too far.

He stopped walking when he realized that he was in front of his apartment building, and walked up the front steps.

Once he reached his door and opened it, he knew he couldn't let her walk down that aisle without her knowing how much he cared for her, and how deep his love was for her.

If you love me,
look into my eyes and say you do.
I've been waiting all my life
for someone just like you.
Baby all that we've been through,
Girl I'm still in love with you;
and I want you to know I do, I do.

He ran into his room, packed every inch of clothing he owned into his suitcase, ran into the bathroom, packed everything he would need in that compartment. He ran to his stereo, packing ever CD in his possession, and finally packed his guitar into its case. He grabbed his car keys, shut the lights, and ran out the door, locking it behind him.

He was going home.

I still think about you.
I still dream about you.
I still want you,
and need you by my side.
I'm still mad about you.
All I ever wanted was you,
you're still the one…

Still the one.

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