CHAPTER 6: The Memory of What Was Turned into What Is
Lucas and I had been talking almost all night. It's like we had known each other for years. He was such an intelligent guy. He was into art and music and literature and basketball. I always thought college guys were all about getting laid and getting drunk... but Lucas seemed to be different. Either that or he was just really good at hiding who he was and what he really wanted.
I found out that he was majoring in Literature, he was here on scholarship, he was a freshman, and he had the coolest dog named Butch. He was a blue pit and lazy as ever. He hardly moved, but that was fine with me considering he was sitting on MY lap. He moved here from a small town in Texas. He said he wanted a change... but moving to North Carolina was no change. He was still in a small town and around the same types of people.
If I wanted to get away I would go to New York. Now that's what I call a change. Why move to another small town when you can move to a big city with so many different types of people and new sites to see. Exciting... that's what a new town and new life should be. Not dull and boring with the only excitement being college parties.
He laughed when I told him this. He told me that the only excitement he needed was an A on his midterms. He really was odd. Not many people would find that as excitement... happy maybe... but pure excitement? I don't think so. But that's the thing about meeting new people is that you learn more than you think you would.
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It was getting really late and I knew I had to go, but part of me didn't want to leave. I was enjoying myself and having fun meeting all these new people. Outside of my highschool friends I didn't know anyone. This was a way for me to meet new people. A way for me to escape from everything.
I climbed into my car after waiting on Brooke for 10 minutes and finally realized she wasn't coming. I made sure she had a ride before driving away. I had been on the road for a little while before realizing that I needed gas. I was gonna try and make it home and fill up tomorrow but it looks like that wasn't going to happen.
I pulled up to Flash Foods and made my way into the store. I bought a soda, a pack of gum, and paid for my gas before walking out. I filled my tank and climbed back into the car. I looked in the rear view mirror to make sure no one was behind me and that's when I saw him.
FLASHBACK
"Now where do you think you're going?" He grabbed me by my arm as he twisted it behind my back and began walking towards where I had just left. The tears that were burning my eyes began to fall as I couldn't control it any longer.
"Hey guys... I think I found this one trying to escape."
END FLASHBACK
It was one of them. One of the guys that kidnaped me that night. He was here... sitting in my car. But how, he didn't know I was here... or was he one of the college boys and he was just waiting for me to leave so he could take me back.
I tried to jump out of my car and run but he was quick to stop me. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me deeper into my seat. His face moved closer to mine and I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck. "If you try to scream... I'll kill you. If you try to run... I'll kill you. If you don't listen to me... I'll kill you" His voice was quiet yet stern. I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed the gun he was slowly waving in the air. I nodded my head in agreement and slowly pulled out of the parking lot.
I kept my eyes on the road and made sure not to make any sudden movements. I wanted so bad to grab my cell and call 911 but if my hand even made it's way remotely close to my pocket something bad was gonna happen and I didn't want to find out what that was.
He made me pull into this run down parking lot with one crappy looking building. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew what was gonna happen but I didn't even want to think about it. All that did was scare me more and the more I show fear the worse it is.
FLASH BACK
"Please... Please... just let me go." I cried harder with each word I spoke. I had been locked in this room for the past 2 days and it was scaring the hell out of me. I didn't know how long I was gonna be here or what they were going to do to me. They showed up a couple times a day and tortured me like I could never imagined being tortured. The beating the verbal abuse... the rape... it's all the same to me. It's all a blurred dream that I just want to wake up from.
I scream and cry and beg to leave and all they do is get rougher. I fight back and they just make it worse. All I can do is try my best to defend myself and they do there best to make it worse. I can't just lay here and take it, but what else can I do. The more I fight the more they fight back.
My lugs are burning and I can hardly breath. I have screamed more in the past 10 minutes than I have in my entire life. I am so scared and I feel so cold. I haven't eaten and I haven't showered. Each day that goes by the more and more distant my life seems.
I want so bad to go back to my life and the way things were but that's not going to happen. I've been alone in this room for over an hour and for some odd reason I can sense them coming back.
They walked in the door shortly after. They both walked up to me with fire in their eyes as they shoved me against the wall. I cried out once more for help but it seems that no one can hear my cries. They spin me around and throw me against the wall once more. He slaps me hard across my face. I do my best not to cry but I failed. Tears were falling down my cheeks and he was getting more and more excited. I tried to make myself stop crying but I couldn't. Just knowing that they were going to do this once more was more than I could handle.
END FLASHBACK
I swore to myself after that night I wouldn't fight back. No matter how much I wanted to fight I just knew I couldn't. I knew that at the first sign of fear he would take advantage just as he did that night. He may not have been there every time, but he was there.
I climbed out of the car slowly watching every move he made. I was hoping he would get out before me and I would have a chance to speed away but I had no such luck. He drug me by my arm into this run down building.
This was it.. This was my chance to use my phone and him not know. I didn't know if it had service or if it would even work, but I had to try. I opened it up and hit the send button twice from inside my pocket. It may not have been 911 but it was the closest thing to it. Whomever I had called last will be able to hear what is going on.
I started talking about my surroundings making sure I noted everything to describe it. How to get here, what it looked like, why I was here... everything. I did my best to make it seem like I was just rambling on so he wouldn't hurt me and it worked. He never once asked me for my phone or told me to shut up... well he told me to shut up, but he didn't figure out why I was talking.
He pulled me into one of the rooms on the top floor. I was hoping and praying that my phone was still on and it didn't lose service. He closed the ratty door behind him and made his way closer to me. I backed up until I couldn't go any further. I pushed myself harder against the wall thinking if I did it long enough I would just fall through the wall into another room. Again... no such luck.
He forced himself on me and I tried my best not to fight it but I just couldn't help it. I pushed him away and ran for the door. I made my way through the run down house until I reached the bottom of the stairs. He quickly caught up to me and pushed me to the floor. I cried and screamed as loud as I possibly could for help even though I knew no one was around.
I managed to wiggle my way out from underneath him... I then did the only thing I could do... I punched him in his face. I knew he was in shock when he didn't move. He held the side of his face as I made my run for it.
I ran fast and didn't look back. I could hear his footsteps behind me and that only made me move faster. I apparently was no track star seeming as to how he caught me in under a minute of me running. I fell to the ground as he jumped on top of me.
This was it... it was happening all over again. The memories of what was has suddenly turned back into what is. How can this be happening to me again? Did I do something that awful that I would deserve this? I just don't understand how someone can do this to a person... how someone could be so heartless.
I cried to myself as I took in what was about to happen. He leaned closer to my face and whispered "You shouldn't have ran bitch... this is what happens when you try and fight back". I closed my eyes tightly as he began to unbutton my jeans. I pushed his hands away trying to make him stop. He took both my hands and placed them above my head. He held on to them with one hand and finished undoing my jeans. He pulled them down quickly and sat up undoing his own jeans. I couldn't bare to think of what he was doing anymore. I laid there still crying to myself and thought of something to keep my mind off of this.
FLASHBACK
It was a warm summers day with a slight breeze blowing through the air. I looked around the park as I watched the community play games with their kids, and play with their dogs. I laid back on my blanket and stared up at the beautiful blue sky. Not a cloud in sight. It was a gorgeous day to be outside and the sight of him sitting next to me made it that much better.
"Hey baby" Nathan whispered as he kissed me on my cheek. "What brings you here?"
I looked into his deep brown eyes and smiled "I wanted to get out today. It's to beautiful to be sitting inside doing nothing."
"Well you're to beautiful to be sitting inside anyways" He flashed me that 'melt you're heart' smile and I couldn't help but giggle. "What?"
"You're sure do know how to make a girl feel wonderful did you know that?"
"Well I am the Nathan Roe... Of course I can do these things"
I kissed him lightly on the lips as we both laid down on my blanket. We didn't say a word to each other the rest of the afternoon. We just laid there thinking of our lives and how wonderful they were. It was perfect.
END FLASHBACK
I would give anything to be there in the park right now. The memory was the only thing keeping me sane right now, and I was thankful for that. It didn't take away the pain of what was happening but it made me not think about what was happening for just a moment, it let me escape and that's all I wanted.
He was still there though. He wasn't done and probably wouldn't be for a while. He seemed to get pleasure out of hurting people. That's the way it seemed to me.
At this point I didn't care what happened to me or what he did to me, but I needed to get him off of me. I needed to fight.
I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. He slapped me a couple of times but I still screamed. I wasn't going to let him or anyone else bully me anymore. I was gonna fight the way I needed to. I couldn't just lay here and take this. I shouldn't have to and no one else should either. I pulled my hands away from him long enough to grab my phone out of my pocket. He was to busy with what he was doing to notice. When I finally freed my phone from my pocket I looked at the screen. It was still on.
"HELP ME... SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME... I'M ON OLD COFFEE ROAD AT THIS OLD RUN DOWN HOUSE... SOMEBODY PLEA–" He grabbed the phone before I could finish talking.
"You stupid bitch" He didn't just slap me this time... he punched me right in my face. I rolled my face towards the ground and held the spot he had just hit me in tightly. I cried even harder as he continued to rape me. I begged and pleaded for him to stop but he only laughed. I punched him and slapped him and kicked my legs as best I could trying to get him off of me. I gave up after a couple minutes of trying and again laid there crying. Before I knew it I heard the rustling of leaves in the distance. I screamed for help praying that it was someone to help me... that someone was on the other end of the phone when I was screaming for help.