Thank you all for your review. This chapter was difficult to write, so I apologize if it doesn't live up to its anticipation. Please review and let me know. Enjoy.

She sat under the stars late that night outside of her apartment on her balcony. It had been an exhausting shift, one where she didn't have a moment's time to herself, and it was luxurious to finally have a moment's time alone in peace to think. Tony would be on for the next few hours, so she didn't have to worry about talking to anyone for a while. She breathed in the scent of this beautiful Chicago night. The sweet smell of flowers around her, the summer breeze, the unique smell of the season brought ease to her mind. As she sat on the lounge chair, only one thought filtered in Neela's mind.

Ray.

The fact that he didn't answer her call that morning didn't come to her as a shock. She was used to it. It was how it had been for the past two years. She'd call, or sometimes write letters, and they all would go unanswered. The only reports Neela got regarding him came from Katey when she would go visit him for a week or so, then come home and tell her the latest news. Neela and Katey had made peace over the time of his recovery, as well as her own. Katey had realized, as well as Neela that his accident was not her fault. They both came to realize that he caused it all by himself. Neela didn't pour that tequila down his throat that night. She didn't choose for him to start an argument with a sober Tony, and she certainly didn't decide to go to another bar and get even more drunk, instead of taking Greg's advice and go home. He did that all on his own. This realization didn't come easy. It took her countless therapy appointments, ten months of physical recovery, and five months in a mental asylum realize it.

Forgiving herself was another task. Forgiving herself for hurting Ray when she went to Tony after Michael's death. Forgiving herself for giving him false hope. Forgiving herself for hurting Ray when she had moved out of their apartment three years ago…

Three years. That's all. It felt like an eternity. Three years of hidden feelings and unspoken words. Three years of wounded hearts. Three years of painful memories. It felt like a lifetime. In a sense, it was a lifetime. It was a lifetime's worth of memories and hidden emotions. A time when she couldn't have been happier. Ray, back then at least, was the biggest part of her. The sun in her sky, her moon in times of darkness, that light at the end of the tunnel…

He was her everything. And he left her, never coming back after learning from Abby what had happened. That hurt. It felt like her heart was being torn to shreds.

So many tears had been spilt over him, and yet she probably never crossed his mind.

She felt a tear roll down her face, and for the first time in months, she let it fall. She felt her stomach churn with pain. She felt her heart sink deeply into it, and started to feel sick. As the tears fell though, she felt the pressure in her stomach ease.

Maybe they were right. Sometimes it does help to cry. So she did. She cried like she never had before. Tears of memories, guilt, love, sorrow…

She missed him. Missed his beautiful, one-thousand watt smile. Missed those beautiful, deep sea-green eyes. Missed his beautifully sculptured face. Missed those lips…those soft, tender lips that she felt on her own only once in her life.

And Lord help her, she even missed his cocky remarks.

She missed him.

Suddenly, she heard the doorbell echo through the apartment. She instantly ran a hand to her face, brushing the tears away. She checked her watch.

It was ten at night. Who the hell would be at her door at this hour? She stood up, and made her way back into the apartment and to the door. She turned the golden metal knob and opened it.

Her heart immediately stopped. Her brain suddenly stopped functioning. Her limbs instantly went numb. Her throat went dry.

She stood there, staring into his eyes, marveled-to say the least-that she had to look up, and not down to meet his gaze. And suddenly, she felt one word escape her lips.

One word that at one point meant everything to her. And maybe still did.

'Ray…'